What Would Happen If...

Chapter One: Her True Feelings

It was bad enough that she hid her playing football from her parents as long as she did, but now she has an even bigger secret, a more deadly one. In her culture there was only boy and girl, woman and man. Jess’s true feelings for her best friend jules would ruin all of that. Jess didn’t like hurting her parents, but she didn’t like hurting herself either. How was she supposed to stop her feelings for Jules without hurting herself in the process? ‘Maybe I could just isolate myself from her forever. Never having to look into her gorgeous eyes, see her amazing smile, whispering things to her and in the process smelling her strawberry kiwi shampoo on her golden brown hair? OH GOD.’ she thought to herself, pacing back and forth in her room.

“ Honey, dinner,” Jess’s mom called from the stairs.

“Okay Mum, I’ll...be right down,” Jess said coming back to reality.

Jess was unusually quiet at dinner, which made her sister a bit suspicious. After dinner she joined Jess on the kitchen to help with the dishes and ask a few questions.

“ Are you alright, you barely spoke a word back there. I didn’t even see you put the fork up to your mouth. What’s going on?

“ Umm...I’m fine. I was just thinking about stuff that’s all.

“ What kind of things?” Pinky asked in concern.

When Jess took to long to answer her sister took it upon her self to guess and what she guessed was way off.

“OH MY GOD! Are you and Joe having sex?” She asked at a high whisper.

The shock of the question took a while to wear off. Jess thought that for a second her sister new her big secret, but she hadn’t. Still, because Jess didn’t answer her she continued in the wrong direction.

“ I can’t believe it. You are aren’t you? My baby sister is no longer a vir...virgin,” Pinky quieted down so their father wouldn’t hear.

Jess finally spoke up, but was having difficulty getting the sentence out.

“Of course not wha...what are you insane.. I could...could never something like that...ever. I haven’t even seen Joe in a while.

Pinky began to calm down. Her facial expression went from ecstatically happy to utterly confused.

“So you are a virgin still, then?”

“Yes. Sex hasn’t even crossed my mind in the tiniest bit.” ‘At least not with Joe’ she thought to herself and blushed a little.

“Oh, then what’s wrong?”

“ Nothing I was just thinking about a whole bunch of stuff alright. Let’s just leave it that, ‘Kay?”

After Jess left the kitchen in a hurry her Pinky was even more sure that something was bothering her. ‘If it isn’t a boy what else could she be all worked up over’ she thought in both confusion and concern.

Jess ran up to room without saying goodnight to anyone. She was so overwhelmed she couldn’t think straight. Sometimes she would get so lost in her thoughts about Jules she wouldn’t even remember where she was.

“Oh my...” She said quietly to herself realizing that she was still supposed to be with Joe. That was another excuse to hide her true feelings. What was she going to do?

“ I can’t just forget about Joe, I mean I almost lost my friendship with Jules over him. I know that sounds like a good reason to leave him but...” she was debating almost silently with herself when her father walked in.

“ Are you alright dear? You left without saying good night.” He asked, secretly wandering why she was talking to herself.

“ Oh, I’m fine dad, just fine. Good Night,” Jess said in a hurry to get him out of the room. When he sensed this he wanted to stay longer.

“ Are you sure you are okay, you barely ate anything at the table.”

“ No really, I’m alright. I just wasn’t hungry that’s all. I’m really tired so I’m gonna go to bed now, okay?” She pretended to yawn and gave him a hug.

“ Don’t worry about me so much, you’ll give your self a heart attack.” They both laughed, he kissed her forehead and left the room.

While she was dealing with her dad, Jess was also thinking of who she ask for help with this situation. It had to be someone she knew wouldn’t judge her or treat her differently. “Toni,”she said to herself under her blanket. With that one word she knew who she would tell the secret that could change her life forever.