A/N: This is a challenge from CSI Projects!! My first attempt at this pairing – it’s never really been a ship I support. This is my interpretation of the song “So Sick” used in this fic, please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.

Moving On.

Aren’t I sad? Sitting here with a full glass of wine, sitting on my couch, alone, in the house we brought. Completely alone, as I sit here, thinking about you, again. Yeah, I still do, even though it’s been over a month, I know you’ve moved on, but I haven’t.

Your picture is still all over my fridge, your c.ds are still sitting in my player, your clothes still sit in my draws, and your voice, happy and bright, is still on my answer phone.

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

It seems like I’ve moved on, at least, to everyone else it does. Everyone else thinks I’m happy, I think I’ve fooled you, but it’s an act I play. I hold my head up high in public and become a complete mess, (like I am now) where I’m on my own. Behind closed doors I’m still in love with you, behind closed doors I haven’t let go.

Shit, I have to go to work in half an hour, time to put on an act again, time to close the door.

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Don’t get me wrong, I want to move on; I want to stop feeling sorry for myself. I want to be able to act normal around you again – I don’t want to put on this act, but I have to. It seems that when you walked out my door you took a part of me with you – and I never got it back, it won’t come back.

Okay, so call me self centred, call me jealous, call me what ever you like - but seeing you with other people breaks my heart, even after all this time. Seeing you happy doesn’t put a smile on my face. Seeing you create a life with someone else doesn’t make my memories of you disappear – it doesn’t work that way.

See, even when I’m getting ready for work I think about you, even when I’m about to spend a night without you I can’t fully close the door... Speaking of work, I better get going, what’s the bet some sappy love song’s playing on the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

You tried to be civil to me when we’ve worked on the same case previous nights – I don’t think I could cope working with you tonight – something just feels different. You’ve tried not to look at me with disgust – but I can see it in your eyes, I can tell how much I hurt you, and I’m sorry, I’m sorry we never worked it out.

But you didn’t seem to want to work it out; you never even listened to my apology. Can I be childish then, can I say that it’s your fault? Can I say that if we had tried, maybe moving on wouldn’t be so darn hard? I know it’s not right to blame you for my misery, but I can’t help it, after all, it is your face that haunts my thoughts...

Damn this traffic, don’t these people know I need to get to work? It was going to be a long trip in, which wasn’t good... it gave me more time to think about you, and it gave my radio more time to torment me...

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Now, if I was completely honest with myself I would say that I want to stop loving you, especially if it meant moving on with my life. But how do you stop loving someone, is it even possible? Truly though, I’m sick of felling sorry for myself, I’m sick of turning over in bed and thinking you’ll be there, I’m sick of missing you...

Okay, so thinking bout not missing you seems to make me think of you even more, this was not entirely helpful...

This traffic isn’t very helpful either; guess who was going to be late for work tonight?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

Deep breaths, deep breaths, think about something else other than her smile, think about her bed points, what bad points? I really felt like hitting something right now, I decided to settle with my dashboard – slamming my fist into... Why did I have to be such an idiot in the first place? That was the question I asked misled everyday – why did I let you walk out my door? I haven’t found an answer yet, another reason to move on, right?

Look at that, the traffic is finally moving; maybe driving will get me to stop thinking about you, then again, maybe not.

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Hmm, maybe getting rid of those photos on the fridge would help? Maybe not seeing her face every morning will help me move on. Just like she had, I’m pretty sure she still doesn’t have any photos of me, or any of my stuff for that matter. Mental note – get rid of her stuff. She had moved on, totally, maybe it was time to take a leaf out of her book?

Finally, that was a nightmare, now all I have to do is survive a lecture about being late.

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

I don’t know why, but a sickening feeling has suddenly washed over me, it was like, I can’t do this today. I can’t go in there and deceive everyone again – I can’t put on this act. Whoa? Where had this come from? Maybe it was the fact that I had been thinking about you constantly all day (damn Valentines day and love songs!). Maybe I was just sick of pretending? Maybe it wasn’t the love songs, maybe it was me! Now here’s a scary thought, maybe today’s the day I’m done with pretending?

So... I’m just going to sit out here in the car park until I clear my head – if that’s even possible.

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Turning off the radio seemed to help, without the continuous tune of a love song vibrating around me the sickening feeling was still there – that could only mean one thing, right?

Okay, so get out of the car and begin my day of horror, ready go!

I was about to go, that is, until my cell phone rang.

Let me tell you, I was quite surprised to see who it was, why was she calling me, was it a sign?

“Catherine?” My voice must have told her of my confusion; it must have begged the question. But all I got from her was a scared, tear filled reply of,

“Warrick... please... I don’t think... I’m scared... please... I need you...”

Those were the only words she said before the line went dead – but they were enough to break my heart.

Hello open door!

Somewhere, for some reason, Cath needed me; she was scared and needed me. So it was time to stop pretending.

It wasn’t time to move on, not by a long shot.

END

A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you liked it, please review!!