STARGATE: ATLANTIS

FLUXING THE CAPACITOR

CHAPTER ONE: NO TOUCH-Y

Major Lorne hated missions like these. Sure, there were no Wraith trying sunk his life from his chest, or Genii trying to capture him for trade of Jumpers and C-4, or gross bug things trying to give him a particularly bad hickey. It was worse. More terrifying than all the infinite number of ways to die in the Pegasus Galaxy and it was all summed up in one word: McKay.

Dr. Rodney McKay had been in a particularly terrible mood for a while now: launching into tirades nearly by the hour, terrorizing the entire science department, infirmary team, military contingent, and one poor Athosian with horrible timing. It had taken sixteen hours, much coaxing from Teyla and Halling, and a bar of chocolate for Jinto to come out of that storage closet after a very close encounter with McKay, an Ancient device, and a rubber ball. Needless to say, Jinto wasn't likely ever to follow his playthings into the science labs ever again.

All of this traced back to the Arcturus Project, Doranda, Dr. Elizabeth Weir, and Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. Not to say that his superiors hadn't handled the situation in a manner they thought fit, but Lorne wasn't so sure that the treatment of Dr. McKay for the past weeks had changed anything except build unneeded tension and turn the expedition against one of senior staff member. The member, Lorne believed, they would need the most in the coming weeks and months, possibly even years.

Lorne sighed, checked his watch, and turned to observe the off-world team before him. They'd been here on M7X-211 for about an hour and McKay had already sent three scientists away sobbing, four hyperventilating, and one in a violent fit. They were all giving him wide berth for now, as it appeared only Miko, the diminutive Japanese woman, could dare to approach him and not set him off. Maybe because she walked and talked so quietly she didn't set off McKay's "stupidity sense" (according to the acerbic astrophysicist). When Stackhouse had asked "Like Spide-y sense," McKay gave the patented 'you're a moron' sneer and snarled "Sure, whatever."

Digressing, Lorne decided he really hated missions like this.

---

Cadman rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time today as McKay berated yet another scientist whose face was quickly changing its shade from fuchsia to mauve. Laura half-wondered, half-hoped this one would punch McKay right in his arrogant mouth. Despite her personal stake, the scientist had his tablet ripped from his hands by his boss and sent on his not-so-merry way, fuming.

She rolled her eyes again and trotted in a general direction toward her superior, taking a glance around the sparse surroundings.

M7X-211 was a savannah-like planet with grass that would have been as far as the eye can see, except for a structure two clicks north of the gate that was obviously Ancient. Inside was what, at first, seemed and empty room with door-less closets, three on each side and two on the back wall with a plain metal square resting between them. After much humming and spinning about in random directions by the CSO, McKay gave a loud, "Ah hah, of course!" and walked to the square that, with some fiddling, opened. Apparently, this controlled the other functions of the room as well for between the other alcoves on the side walls slid out, as well as one in each corner at the back rose up from the floor.

Without turning around McKay pronounced, "Scientists: get to work; Marines: don't touch anything!"

The Major sighed again, for what seemed like the millionth time, Stackhouse came up on his other side and smirked for what seemed like the millionth time, and Laura rolled her eyes for the millionth and second time today.

"Sir, how much longer are we going to stick around here?" Stackhouse asked, adjusting the straps of his P-90.

"You got somewhere to be, Charlie?" Lorne jested half-heartedly. He was bored, too, no doubt.

"He's got a hot date, sir." Laura revealed, wagging her eyebrows mischievously.

"How did you-!"

"Girls Poker Night, Sergeant. Certain redhead's a regular attendant."

"See your point, Stack," Lorne replied sarcastically, but then turned to the scientists and Marines milling about. "Let's move out."

"We just got here," McKay called back distractedly, barely glancing at them.

"You said that six hours ago, McKay."

"And Atlantis isn't expecting our check in for another six! We have plenty of time, Major," and as if to prove it, McKay made his way to the back right alcove of the outpost, hesitating for a moment before pushing onward into the tiny space.

Lorne sighed again, shrugged at a smirking Stackhouse, and leaned against the wall behind them, only to jump back forward less than a second later with a quietly startled and not completely masculine, "Gah!"

Cadman and Stackhouse both turned on their heels, P-90s raised, only to aim at a new panel sliding out of the wall.

They lowered their weapons as Major Lorne approached the panel. This one was different from the others. Instead of coming up or out of the floor and walls to rest on the ground, the panel hung from the wall about five feet in the air and a foot in width and length and several inches thick. It looked like and horizontal version of the panel at the back of the room, sticking out of the wall in place of resting in it.

There were no visible buttons or crystals like there were on so many other bits of Ancient tech across the galaxy. The only markings were an indention to place the hand and a bar with two symbols that were probably Ancient. Laura heard Stackhouse pose the question she was wondering herself.

"What the hell is it, sir?" The sergeant sidled to the side out of the way when the major stepped forward cautiously and peered at the panel.

"Don't know. Figure we better find out, though...,” the Major murmured, looking over his shoulder at McKay who had just exclaimed a very loud "OW! Shit!"

"But Doctor McKay said-."

"We know what he said, Stackhouse," Cadman said, rolling her eyes once more for good measure. Laura came up beside the major, laying a hand on the bar and it spun beneath her fingers. She let go quick, and turned to look at Lorne, raising her eyebrows. He just shrugged and reached his hand forward, slipping it slowly onto the indention.

A low humming sound emitted soon after and magnified tenfold when the major's hand encased completely in the indent. Laura saw Stackhouse turn toward the back of the room where a high keening sound erupted from one of the alcoves in the back.

Then he shouted: "McKay! Get out of there!" Laura turned in time to see that a glass door had shut McKay in; he was banging on the door, shouting something, but he couldn't be heard as the shrill sound reached its climax. Cracks appeared all across the glass as a light blinded everyone in the room as Stackhouse shouted again and the sound of bursting glass joined the chaos.

When the smoke had cleared, all the glass fallen, and the light faded, they could see again.

Rodney was gone.

---

Stargate not mine, no matter how often I ask Santa...

Let me know what you think.

And if anyone can refer me to a lovely beta, that would be... well, lovely.

Lilith.