|Wings Of A Butterfly
Author: Broken-Devil PM
Spashley. 3 Parter. Paula reads an email, when Spencer is at school, written by Ashley. I Disclaim. R&RRated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,146 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11-27-07 - Published: 11-23-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3907609
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A.N: Couldn't help myself. I watched the breakup scene again, cursed and decided to write something. I suppose it's something different to what other people have wrote, but a happy ending I'm not too sure. You'd think after breaking up in that episode they would learn their lesson, sheesh.
Three Parter, maybe an epilogue to tie it all up.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never have, never will. I mean, really, if I owned it would I be writing fanfiction and waiting, very impatiently, for February or April or March or whenever the hell it's coming back? No, didn't think so.
Feedback: Yup, 'cause I like it, it makes me feel popular - and I pretty much wanna know what you like and don't like.
Part 1: Whispers
One week of being sat in a bedroom, a classroom or a house; alone.
One week of the phone not ringing, or your computer receiving interesting messages.
One week since Spencer had spoken to Ashley.
One week since they had broken up.
"Honey, wake up. It's time for school." Paula's voice was quiet. It wasn't a secret that she disapproved of her daughters relationship with her former best friend; but a sin or not, her daughters heartache was proving too difficult to face.
"What's the point? I don't have any tests today and it's not as if I'm behind." The older woman shook her head and sat on the bed. She knew Spencer would be awake, she hadn't slept in a long time and the only reason she came to tell her to wake up was to see her.
"Come on. You only have two more days until the weekend." Spencer shifted and looked at her mother. Her eyes were red and her face was pale and Paula instantly felt her heart drop at the sight. Even if what Ashley and Spencer had was seen as strange it was something pure, even she could see that. It was too late to accept their relationship now, though.
"I can't go." Paula smoothed out some hair from her daughters face and looked down to her, unable to make eye contact with her daughters wandering gaze. A poster, the window, the floor, the bed; it didn't matter as long as she missed someones stare. She hadn't accepted any type contact for a while now. "She sent me an e-mail last night." Spencer moved her head, indicating she didn't want to be touched anymore and Paula stood up, getting her some clothes out of her daughter's closet for school.
"She's hurting so much and I caused that. I mean, I know what she did was a terrible thing but she's punishing herself more than I am." Paula let her daughter talk, reveling in the fact that she was finally opening up after five days of being a full blown mute.
"It'll take time, honey. Come on, now, Glen is going to give you a ride." Spencer moved painfully slowly.
"Why does this hurt so much? I thought breaking up with her would make things better." She shook her head and grabbed the pair of jeans her mother was holding up. "It hasn't though. It's made it worse and in the e-mail she sent - I could tell she was broken. She isn't my Ashley anymore."
"Spencer, you need to think about yourself now. Okay?" She turned to her teenaged daughter quickly assessing her posture. She had lost her first love and was blaming herself, somewhere Paula had once been, the two were more alike in that sense than they cared to admit.
"I want to care about her." The jeans continued to dangle from the blondes fingers. "I do care about her, I mean; you care about those you love. Right?" Paula nodded. If she didn't accept her daughter's sexuality now, she knew she never would. She knew now it wasn't a phase or some experiment and the only time, since moving to LA, had she gotten a pure smile from Spencer seemed to be when Ashley was around. It was as simple as that, Ashley made Spencer whole and she could only feel that the same went for the missing brunette.
"Come on. Ashley wouldn't want you sitting around your bedroom, would she?"
"Yes." Paula smiled at the short laugh she received. "I just - it's her last week this week. She's not coming back. Kyla and hers inheritance came through, she dosen't need school."
"More reason for you to go. She probably wants you to be there, after everything you were always going to be friends." Spencer looked up and blue eyes locked. "I'll tell Glen to wait, okay?" With a nod from her daughter Paula left.
"Where is she? We gotta go." Glen put another piece of toast into his mouth and looked up.
"She's getting dressed." She sat down, grabbing her coffee and looking at her sons disapproving scowl. "You know, this is hard for her."
"Well Ashley should have thought about that before running to Europe when Spence needed her the most. Of course it's hard for her but she'll get over it."
"This isn't about Ashley, Glen. It's about Spencer." Taking a sip of the now cold drink Paula shook her head. "She's really upset so do the right thing and be her big brother."
"I've tried. Yesterday, I saw Ashley walking towards Spencer and I saw my baby sister back. She smiled and everything, then Ashley kind of looked at Spencer and they both stopped then my baby sister went away again because Ashley changed direction. I went to see if she was okay and I got the big freeze."
"Let's go." Two blonde heads snapped up at the sound of Spencer's voice. She had made herself presentable and put on a small amount of make-up to hide her eyes. "Don't want to be late, right?" As quietly as she had arrived, she left.
"I'll see you tonight, mom." Following the footsteps of his sister Glen walked out.
Paula sat for what seemed like hours, fiddling with her ring and finally getting up and going upstairs. She stood in her daughter's doorway for a few moments, taking in the saddened atmosphere and hanging her head a little. She made her way over to the computer and moved the mouse, shocked to find a screen already open. The mouse hovered for a little while before her eyes were dragged to one thing inparticular in the little task bar. She clicked it and her daughters e-mails came up. It was wrong, she knew it, but she needed to get inside her daughters head. She needed to make her better, because her little girl was never meant to feel heartbreak. Sitting down she scanned the list until she found what she was looking for.
From: Davies, Ashley.
Sent: Yesterday. 21:03.
She hovered over the open button, considering what would happen if she read her daughters private e-mails before finally clicking the little button and waiting for the page to load.
"Hey." Spencer turned to the holder of the voice and smiled slightly. There she was, in all her glory, Ashley Davies. Except she looked different, her eyes didn't have the same sparkle and her stride wasn't as confident.
"Hey." The blonde returned to routing through her locker, trying to find an inanimate object to keep her attention.
"So, we have English. Wanna walk?" Spencer heard the shuffling of a bag and the movement of feet on the ground while she waited for an answer. "I mean, we don't have to." Silence. "Hey, do you still have one of my books in your locker?"
"I have about three, Ashley."
"Oh. Well, I guess I won't need them." She was met by more silence and shuffled her bag once more. "So, yeah, see you in class." Before Spencer could turn around again Ashley was gone, walking briskly towards her classroom and it took all that Spencer had to close her locker and follow her.
She was already in her seat by the time Spencer arrived and refused to even look up when she entered the room. The blonde quietly took her place next to the aspiring singer and ignored the constant whispers of classmates around her. Apparently, everyone knew about their breakup and after the shooting at the prom it was hot gossip. Spencer rolled her eyes; people died and LA moves so fast it's already old news.
The blonde sank down into her seat, her right hand coming up to rest her head on and her left scratching at the desk. She knew people were looking at her and Ashley, wondering why they were still sat near each other and whispering little rumors around themselves to stay occupied. She finally looked around and saw Ashley in basically the same position, doodling on her notepad, most likely writing some more songs or something. The brunette tensed slightly and Spencer knew that Ashley had caught her looking; the two stared at each other for a matter of minutes. It could have been hours or days and Spencer wouldn't have cared, because she felt safe in the bubble that the two had created. Until Ashley shook her head.
"I can't do this." She stood up and with the movement the bubble burst.
"Miss. Davies, please sit down."
"I'm sorry." The look, though vacant, was pointed directly at Spencer and the tanned girl quickly made her way out of the room. More shuffling and more whispers caused Spencer to sink lower, trying to hide; trying to go so far into a dark place that she couldn't be found, even if somebody was looking.
She knew what people were saying; Spencer Carlin, the only girl to break the heart of a heartless person. But Ashley wasn't heartless, or cold, or anything else she forced her persona to be. Spencer knew her like nobody else wanted to, she knew her fears and her dreams, and she knew that spiders were her mortal enemy and that she once made Aiden cry by teasing him after she beat him on Guitar Hero.
She wanted to hate him, truly and utterly hate him until she couldn't even bear to look at him. But she couldn't and she knew she wouldn't ever be able to. It was true when he said 'you can't help who you love', Spencer had known all along that he had some deep-seated feelings for her girlfriend but she didn't want to accept them.
Then prom night happened and she was thrown headfirst into all her fears and all her nightmares and though she struggled to stay afloat they brought her down. She surfaced, once more, gasping for air and taking in all the wonderful sights but when no Ashley was there to save her she sunk under again. Into darkness, into loneliness, without her brother and without her girlfriend. She came out of the other side though, a little stronger though a little paler. From there she knew she didn't need to lean on anybody, she didn't need Ashley to be her rock anymore because she survived, just, without her.
Hearing the whispers though made her realise that she missed Ashley with all her heart, with every breath she took it stung, with every step it was heavier. Without her the sun was a little less bright and the songs birds sang were a little more heart-wrenching; it was a known fact now that she needed Ashley as much as Ashley needed her.
It was time to move on though. Afterall, your first love isn't your true love. Right?
Chapter 2 up over the weekend probably and 3 up shortly after. Mainly because this has been half-assed wrote for a while now.