Part Two

He knew before he finally gave in and dipped his head that it wouldn’t work...she wouldn’t forget, he wouldn’t be healed of every broken place Greenlee had made inside of him, but he was at the point where hoping for all that was just too much. His lips brushed over hers. She was a fragile beauty in his eyes: easily broken, easily adored, easily worshiped , easily destroyed. And she kissed like she knew all this about herself. Like she was frightened to feel and frightened of never feeling nothing again. Just as he really started to think about Annie and not everyone in the house behind him, Aidan heard the door open and the noise of the party wash over them then Greenlee’s laugh being choked in her throat and Ryan coughing.

Annie and Aidan broke apart and faced the other couple. For one half of second Aidan had felt relief from his constant months long mourning period but now that was gone in the span of a blink, and he was staring into Greenlee’s wide, heartbroken eyes.

(Cuz everyone here hates everyone here

for doing just like they do.

It's best if we all keep this quiet instead.

And I couldn't tell

why everyone here was doing me like they do.

But I'm sorry now

and I don't know how
to get it back

to good)

Ryan broke the awkward silence. “Uh, I was just gonna...show Greenlee my new motorcycle, if we could get by...” He put his arm around Greenlee’s waist and led her past them. Her hair fell in front of her eyes but not before Aidan clearly saw a tear slide down her face. He wanted to go after her but for what? She had Ryan to dry those tears from her...as she cried over Aidan being with someone else even though she swore she didn’t want him...and she had Josh to warm her bed tonight and she had Kendall back as her best friend and she had the life she picked. He had nothing. When was someone gonna comfort him over that?

He noticed Annie shaking slightly. She was staring after where Ryan and Greenlee had walked around the garage, out of sight but never out of mind, it seemed to Aidan. He knew Greenlee would be the ghost in his heart till the second he died. And Ryan would probably be that for Annie. Aidan, at the moment, felt bad for her...how no one had warned her...when everyone knew: Ryan and Kendall and Greenlee would always forgive each other, always love each other, always go beyond the limit to save each other and always do their best to break each other, in the name of love. But they would never feel even a fraction of that for any on the outside of their sacred trinity. Everyone else’s sins would go unforgiven and everyone’s else’s pain would never matter as much as theirs. He should have told her...someone should have told him.

Annie said “I’m glad I’m drunk. The way he immediately thought about her hurt feelings and getting her out of here...that would have really stung otherwise.”

“You are lucky you’re drunk. Cause I’m not. And believe me...it hurts like a bitch.”

They both turned their heads, looking sideways at each other. She forced a shaky smile on her lips. “About me kissing you...”

“I was the one that kissed you.”

“I came on to you first and-”

“I took it there, Annie. I could have walked away if I didn’t want to.”

“Walk away to what, though? There’s no where to go anymore is there? But home to all that space on the other side of the bed. All the empty albums that won’t ever be filled. All the closet space where you would rather have their clothes hanging. All the...what might have been that only you care about cause they sure don’t. I don’t know about you but I’m glad they saw us kissing cause...its about time they realize that we aren’t sitting around waiting on them to come back. I’m moving on. I’m over him.”

“Sure, you are. Me too. So over it,” he lied with a smile that barely turned up the corners of his lips. “Lets get back inside. Who knows what big dark secret someone is about to spill? It wouldn’t be a party unless someone’s life got messed up, now would it?”

“Around Pine Valley? No, it wouldn’t?”

They walked back inside to find Josh talking to Zach, while Kendall was chatting up Amanda and Jake. Frankie and his girlfriend were leaned close to each others, so in love and happy that it made Aidan feel sick to even glance their way. Annie sighed and said “I need another glass of wine and to take off these heels.” She placed her hand on his arm to steady herself and stepped out of them. “That’s so much better.”

He looked down at her, giving her a sad little smile. He almost wished he could take her home with him tonight and replace all his pain with pleasure, ridding his heart and soul and mind of thoughts of the woman he would never again. He hadn’t ever been tempted to be with another woman since Greenlee ended their engagement but tonight he was tempted. Because tonight he was at the point where he truly believed Greenlee was never going to be his again.

(Well everyone here is wondering what it's like to be with
somebody else.

And everyone here's to blame.

Everyone here gets caught up in the pleasure of the pain.)

Annie whispered “I wish what happened outside between us could have been our little secret. It’d be great to have just one thing not be public news, you know? Just have one thing be...off limits. Wouldn’t you like that?”

But that wasn’t how it worked in this group. Aidan knew it could never be that simple. They were all tied together with strings that crisscrossed and kept them from ever moving to far away from each other. And the worst part was that none of them really wanted to cut those strings. Then it would be over. Then it would be too late to fix all their mistakes.

He was sure it was too late with Greenlee but it was also too soon to be with Annie. Maybe Aidan would stay in this limbo for life. Maybe Annie would too. All he knew right then was he couldn’t take her home with him and forget...because he didn’t want to forget Greenlee yet. And maybe he never would.

“Hell,” Aidan told Annie “I would love that. But I don’t get what I love.”

“Me either,” she breathed the words out. “Me either.”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek, just as Ryan and Greenlee walked back in. All their eyes met again.

(Well everyone here

hides shades of shame.

But looking inside we're the same.

We're the same.

And we're all grown now.

Yeah but we don't know how
to get it back to good)

Ryan said “I was wanting to talk to you, Annie...about Emma and her field trip next week. I wanted to chaperone if you don’t want to...could we... go into the kitchen? Get a drink?”

“All right,” she said uneasily. With one last look at Aidan, Annie followed Ryan into the other room, back into the tangled web they had woven just because they had dared to fall in and out of love.

Aidan said to Greenlee “You look...good tonight. Great...dress.” Each word was stilted, pushed out through a wall of pain.

“You don’t have to do that. Say something nice to me. Try and make me feel better. I’m fine.” Her tone was defiant, her eyes just a little to shiny to really be as unaffected as she claimed. “You can kiss whoever you want. We’re just old friends now. I want you to be happy...like I am with Josh. We’re all young and sexy and rich-”

He chuckled, despite the heartache that colored his every moment. “Well some of us more than others.”

She smiled. “And we should all be happy, happy, happy. If kissing Annie makes you happy...then I’m fine with that. I’m fine, Aidan.”

After she walked back to Josh, Aidan muttered “Well that makes one of us.”

He looked across the room and caught Kendall’s eyes, and at the same moment they both turned and watched Josh pull Greenlee into a hug. Aidan could almost hear her thinking the same thing he was, and the same thing Annie thought when she looked at Ryan, and what Ryan thought when he looked at Kendall, and Zach thought when he looked at Greenlee, remembering the eggs of hers he destroyed- all her chances for happiness- and the child he made his own when he had no right, they all thought the same thing, and they thought it often: I never meant for it to work out this way.

(Well everyone here knows everyone here

is thinking about somebody else.

And it's best if we all keep this under our heads.

See, I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do
but it's over now, and I don't know how...

it's over now
there's no getting back to good.) (Matchbox Twenty)