Summary: Julie says goodbye.

Author's note: It's a songfic, and the song doesn't fit exactly, but work with me here. And please, everyone write more Crimson fanfics. They deserve better than this.

Disclaimer: The song ("The Lover After Me") is Savage Garden's and the characters are Cliffhanger's.

One Last Goodbye
by Gatekeeper

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today

It's been seven months and counting

You've moved on

I still feel exactly the same

He looks so tired, lying there curled up on the pew like that.

Not that he doesn't have the right to - he's just destroyed the mother of all vampires, saving the world in the process. And he didn't even get the chance to become human again.

Not that it ever mattered to me. But what I care about doesn't matter anymore.

I reach my hand out to brush his cheek, but stop before I touch him. He couldn't feel me anyway.

I've been out of his life for a long time.

It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name

Like photographs and memories of love

Steel and granite reminders

The city calls your name and I can't move on

I should have just left.

I bent the rules to begin with, having any contact with Earth after I'd ... after I'd died. Having any contact with Alex. But I didn't really have any contact with him. I just had to see him, to make sure he was all right.

No, I just had to see him.

And the one time I did show myself, he needed me. He did. He was in such pain it tore my heart out. But I was there for him.

Now I can't be anymore.

He's saved the world, and the heavens have promised him peace from now on. He doesn't need me anymore.

He has that redhead.

Ever since you've been gone

The lights go out the same

The only difference is

You call another name

To your love

To your love now

To your love

The lover after me

I settle down on the pew beside him. Or pretend to, at least - I no longer have any weight to settle on it.

Forcing myself to look away from him for a second, my eyes wander to the altar in front of the church.

I was always taught that heaven was such a happy, wonderful place. They were never specific about why it was so great, but there was supposed to be all this light and music. Everyone had wings.

But all the afterlife has been is cold. Dark and cold.

How did they expect me to have light and happiness without you?

Maybe that's it, the real reason I stayed around to watch over you, instead of going on to my "reward."

I just couldn't let you go.

And time goes by so slowly

The nights are cold and lonely

I shouldn't be holding on

But I'm still holding on for you

I try to touch you again, one last time.

She'll be touching you, the wolf girl. She'll be the one that touches you from now on, the one that has already touched your heart. You're probably even dreaming about her right now.

I don't blame you, though. You mourned for me, and mourned well. But you've moved on.

And now I'll have to.

She'd better come back and take care of you. Real good care. She'd better love you for the rest of eternity.

I know I will.

I inch my fingers closer, closer. There, right there. My hands trace your forehead, your nose, your beautiful lips.

I feel you. I swear I can feel you.

Can you feel me?

No, of course you can't. I'm just a memory.

Goodbye Alex, my love. I hope the dreams you have of her are as sweet as the ones I have of you.

No one told me heaven would be so dark.

Ever since you've been gone

The lights go out the same

The only difference is

You call another name

To your love

To your love now

To your love

The lover after me

Alex shifted and murmured in his sleep, lost in a dream of the girl he loved. He felt her hands against his face, tracing the lines she knew so well.

He whispered her name.

"Julie."