Under the Bed

Mission- Operation Proof or Paranoia!

Summary- Sakura sends out Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto, with the help of Tsunade, on a mission. The mission is planned for a week, and who gets to house sit but the one and only Sakura! But what she finds leaves her forever scarred. Weird, short story.

My pathetic attempt at comedy, it should gain some humor in the next few chapters, hopefully ’

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, I only watch it to fuel my ever growing mind. (or decaying which ever you prefer.)

Sakura watched her prey carefully out of the corner or her eye, the sixteen year medic-nin watched as his hand was brought up, bringing the utensil to his mouth before blowing. The steam rolled off in waves in front of him. He repeated the action before taking his quarry.

Sasuke took another bite of Ramen, waiting for Naruto and Kakashi to show up. Sakura was already there and having breakfast with him. If you called Ramen breakfast, though Naruto had been for quite a while now.

Sakura took another bite of her Oden before turning her attention to her bowl with a sigh as she glanced at the remaining food. She had already had breakfast but decided to eat again because she knew if she didn’t then no one would stay to eat. They would all just go off somewhere to train.

Another sigh escaped her lips as green eyes watched the steaming soup. She knew none of them were eating right, she also noticed that they apparently didn’t know how to do laundry and she was beginning to worry about the condition of their houses considering she had never seen inside of them.

For all she knew they were wallowing in garbage, or completely spotless and her worries were unfounded. Naruto’s voice snapped her gaze from the ramen to behind her as he walked into the ramen shop with a loud greeting of hello. “Oi! Sakura-chan Good-morning!” Yelled the over enthusiastic blonde as he seated himself next to her, giving Sasuke a glare of acknowledgement as he ordered some food.

Sakura smiled, trying to hide the disappointment when she saw the grass stains on his orange pants.

They had all gotten taller, stronger and grown more mature- well all but Naruto on the mature part- but that was beside the point. She knew those grass stains, they were from, at the very least, two days ago when she had hit him in a duel and he got knocked back landing on his knees.

She held back the motherly ‘tsk’ she wanted to so badly use. “I’m fine Naruto, where’s Kakashi-sensei?” She asked returning her attention to her food. She gave it one last look before pushing it over to Naruto, “Here, I hate to waste and there’s no way I can finish this.” Naruto let off what sounded like an evil cackle scaring a few of the customers sitting at the counter before he engulfed the oden in one breath.

Sakura furrowed her eye brows together, hite-ate holding her hair off her forehead as she pushed some longer strands of her slightly over the shoulder length pink hair behind her shoulder, “Naruto, you do know that Ramen’s not a food group, right? You have to eat things like apples and meat too.” Her med-nin training always made her think of other’s health and now that she thought about it…

She had never seen her blonde friend eat anything other than Ramen or Oden. Naruto blinked at her, “What’s a food group?” Sakura let her head come down to hit the counter with a groan as she mumbled at the ground, “Never mind.” Inner Sakura appeared in her head, her lips twitching as she looked to the sky, ‘kami help me’.

Sakura felt something land on her head just as she was picking it up off the counter, causing a second face plant into the counter, only this time her nose took the damage. She slowly sat up and turned to face a smirking Ino.

Sakura’s green eyes were hidden by the two shining white stars in her eyes as she smirked with a vein popping out at the corner of her mouth, “Ino-pig” Sakura said her voice a low hiss as doom suddenly fell over the small ramen shop.

Ino’s eyes mimicked her own and a glaring contest ensued. Sasuke and Naruto watched with horror stricken faces as the air cackled around them mincingly, or Sasuke’s was as horror stricken as a bored stare could get.

As abruptly as the staring contest started it stopped, “Well Forehead girl long time no see.” Ino said crossing her arms over her stomach and giving Sakura a pointed look. Sakura blinked, “Um…sure?” Ino rolled her eyes, “What’s in that huge forehead of yours? Air!? You were supposed to stop by the flower shop last night!” Sakura blinked and then gasped, “Oh, jeez Ino-pig I’m sorry, I got caught up in the hospital.” Ino shook her head.

A slurp alerted them to Naruto’s new bowl of what once held ramen. Ino wrinkled her nose, “My god, did you just eat that all at once?” Naruto barley spared her a glance before accepting a second, well third but the second one he was actually paying for, bowl of ramen before downing that to.

Sakura smacked the back of Naruto’s head, causing him to choke, “You dumby, chew your food, that’s not good for you.” A snort from Sasuke as he sipped his tea caused the two girls to look over, “Neither is hitting him while he’s swallowing when you know he doesn’t chew.” Sasuke took another sip of his tea. To bad for him he caught Ino’s attention.

“Sasuke-kun what a pleasant surprise!” Ino exclaimed in a voice that was slightly too high to be used in such a matter. Naruto flinched and rubbed his ear, “Jeez, Shikamaru shouldn’t call you troublesome-woman he should call you Lou-“ Sakura hit Naruto none so gently and his face did a nose dive into the counter.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Sakura faced Ino, “I’ll stop by tonight, I don’t have to head to the hospital till the night shift so I’ll have plenty of time to stop by before then.” Ino looked slightly disappointed that she had to turn her attention away from Sasuke but knew better than to pointedly obsessive over him in public, hell she hardly obsessed over him since he returned a half a year ago, but that was beside the point, “Yeah, Yeah, make sure you show up this time forehead-girl, I’m starting to think you have a secret boyfriend on the side somewhere.”

Naruto spit out his ramen, “NANI!” Sakura glared at Ino, “Bye now Ino-pig.” She rolled her eyes, “He better be a hotty!” and with that Ino walked away, ruining any quiet that was possible for team seven.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto looked stricken, “Who is it!? Whoever it is you’re to good for him!” Naruto announced the stricken look morphing into one of his over protective rants.

Sakura loved Naruto, but the way she loved him was more like sisterly maybe even motherly love, and Naruto knew it, he also happened to be in like with Hinata so she knew there wasn’t a problem there. Sasuke however had stopped sipping his tea, which was never a good thing. He didn’t say anything, which wasn’t unusual, but when he ignored his tea, that was bad.

Sakura suddenly wished Kakashi wasn’t always so late, he would turn this into some sort of joke.

Sakura looked up at Naruto and broke of his long, no one’s good enough speech, “I’m sorry Naruto, its just that,” She gave her best innocent look, “He just asked me out for drinks, I thought it wouldn’t be anything bad, you know, I know him and I trust him, but then I got drunk and I can’t remember what happened last night and I haven’t had a chance to talk with Kakashi about what happened-“

“ERO-SENSEI!”

At the memorial stone a lone sliver headed figure sneezed and glanced towards town, “Guess I better get going.”

Mwahaha! That will teach him to be late! Sakura almost fell off her stool when her inner self started cackling like that, it even worried her, she had had the hardest time trying not to crack up laughing before taking off towards the training grounds as Naruto went into a fit, kami she was so going to get herself into trouble but this was the time she needed. This was the time she needed to see if her worries where unfounded.

---------

Sakura fell back against the wall with a thud her hand over her mouth trying to hold back her horror. She was currently standing in Naruto’s apartment pushing her back against the wall of the kitchen, staring into the refrigerator of unnamed and unspoken doom, their was mold in the fridge, not only was it mold, it was blue, green and it tried to bite her.

Sakura rushed foreword and slammed the door to the rancid fridge shut, tumbling over ramen cups and running for the door.

She already had a list of acids in her head that would burn that mold out.

If it didn’t eat her before she got to it.

---------

Kakashi popped into the Ramen Shop with his usual happy anime eye showing through the little space in his face coverings. “Yo, sorry I’m late but-“

“ERO-SENSEI! YOU-YOU HENTAI!” Naruto lunged at Kakashi, Kakashi sidestepped the enraged blonde and stared at the floor where he landed, “Um, did I miss something.”

Naruto popped up off the ground, “Only you taking advantage of poor innocent Sakura-chan!” Kakashi stepped back in surprise, “Wait, what?”

“Where were you last night! HUH? Taking advantage of innocent pink haired girls!? HUH!?”

An image of an evil Kakashi rubbing his hands together in a dark alley way as he stalked Sakura home, the picture of innocence rubbing her eyes, tired from a long night at the hospital.

“I was out with Gai, Genma, Asuma and Kurenai, I didn’t see Sakura all night.” He told Naruto in a slightly shocked voice, Naruto jumped onto his feet, “Lies!”

“Dope.” Naruto glared at Sasuke, “Oi, what did you say Teme!”

Sasuke glared at Naruto, “She didn’t actually say it was Kakashi.” Naruto looked like he was about to argue than frowned, “Wait, huh?” Kakashi scratched the back of his head, “Ah, I believe our little Sakura was trying to distract us.” Came the logical reasoning from Kakashi.

Sasuke glanced at his now cold tea, “From what?”

------------

“TSUNADE-SHISHOU!” Sakura about collapsed against the Hokage’s desk when she finally made it there after another two visits to the other member’s of team sevens house in record time, she had almost been maimed by security jutsu’s in the two’s houses but it had been worth it.

Tsunade looked down at Sakura with a frown, “What the hell happened to you.” Sakura reached into her side pack and pulled out the proof she needed, “I want them out of Konoha for a week, just a week, that’s all I need,” Tsunade’s eyes widened in horror.

“DEAR KAMI IT’S ALIVE!”

-------------

Kakashi, a confused Naruto and a weary Sasuke made there way to the training ground that they figured Sakura was already at. But when they arrived they where meet with nothing but the nature around them, “Uh…” Came Naruto’s brilliant word of observation.

“HEY!” The three turned around to see Sakura running behind them, a scroll clutched in her hand, when she reached them she stopped to catch her breath, “Jeez, I thought you guys would still be at Ichiraku’s-“ Naruto looked up at Sakura with puppy dog eyes, “Sakura-chan why’d you lie to us!”

Sakura blinked, “Huh-oh, Ahaha, that!” She gave them a sheepish grin, “I didn’t mean to run off like that before telling you I was joking but I had totally forgotten I had a morning meeting with Tsunade-shishou, she was pretty pissed when I got there.”

Naruto frowned and looked at the scroll in her hand, “What’s that?” Sakura glanced down at the scroll, “New mission, she has a mission for you guys to, she told me tell you to not be late or she’d restrict you to D-rank missions and send you back to acdem-“

All three of them where gone in a poof, even Kakashi, Tsunade must have been threatening him more often and throwing annoying missions at him because he seemed to be late to meet with the Hokage less and less.

Sakura smirked down at the scroll in her hand, it was her official notice, if they questioned her actions she now had a valid license for doing what she was doing. Sakura’s grin turned to a grimace, but then again, sometimes things are best left under the bed.

:Till next Time: