|Seven Deadly Sins
Author: Singing Violin PM
A series of drabbles in which Janeway indulges. Six are episode related and one is comic relief.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Humor - K. Janeway & Chakotay - Words: 746 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12-01-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3921972
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Seven Deadly Sins (a series of drabbles)
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Author: Singing Violin
Summary: Janeway indulges.
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Feedback: Yes please.
I know I should be happy to be alive, and to have such a wonderful companion as my erstwhile First Officer, but I want more. I want to cure our disease and get us home. I want to lure that primate into a situation where I can test his immunity to this virus. I want to return to Earth and marry my fiancé, maybe even have a bunch of his children. Chakotay is trying to make me comfortable here, and I resent him for it, because he is satisfied with what we have. How can he just settle like that?
My plan will work; it just has to. Chakotay warned me with that silly fable, but he is wrong. I've gotten my crew this far, and I will continue to lead them better than anyone else on this ship could. I can handle the Borg, and with their help I can destroy the threatening new species. Only Kathryn Janeway can make a deal with the devil and get out alive, and my First Officer would do well to acknowledge my tactical superiority. When this is over, and we have safely traversed Borg space, he will not question my authority again.
My bed is comforting and warm, not at all like the harsh reality of my stranded crew. They are rapidly losing hope, and so am I. If they were to see me now, they would be sure that we will never make it home. It is better that they not see me at all than to look into my eyes and know I have doomed them willingly to such a fate. The ship will continue to shelter them as my covers shelter me. All I need to do is to lie here until blissful death welcomes me into its arms.
"Ugh," I groan, holding my stomach as I kneel in front of the toilet. "I never want to see pie again. Ever."
Even as he holds my hair and rubs my back, my diligent First Officer just has to lecture me in my moment of weakness.
"You know, there was probably a better candidate for this mission," he points out.
I protest. "I won, didn't I?"
"Yes, but..." he starts.
I cut him off. "Our cargo bay is full again."
"And so is your stomach," he retorts.
"Not for long," I whimper as I lean forward and throw up again.
He is dangerous, and he knows it. For possibly the first time since my childhood, I am not in control of my own fate. I am utterly at his mercy and it is intoxicating. His power draws me towards him and tempts me to indulge my too long unattended desire. When my lips meet his, I am overcome by a sensation both familiar and new. I want him. I need him. I am on the verge of succumbing to something that could prove disastrous – or wonderful – or both. I suppose I am lucky that with this kiss we say goodbye.
They were supposed to be human. They were supposed to be Starfleet. Yet they violated everything we believe in. They must pay for destroying everything we have worked so hard to build. My First Officer wanted to forgive them, to let them get away with what they've done. He went so far as to oppose me in front of my crew, and deliberately sabotage my efforts to extract information. As a result, he has been punished too. It may not be possible to right these wrongs, but I can at least allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions.
I rescued her and helped her to rebuild her life. I tolerated her disrespect, her naïveté, and occasionally even her incompetence. And how did she repay me? By taking that which I most covet and yet cannot have. Even after she died, he was hers. He too succumbed eventually, dooming me to loneliness. I have worked since then towards a single goal: to use whatever methods are necessary to return to that point in time when she stole what was rightfully mine and take it back. I am willing even to die, as long as it means she loses him.