Like A Rockstar
by: ohwhatsherface

4. Make Some Noise

…

August 21

Diary,

There are times when I’m bored and when Sasuke’s pissing me off more than usual, I start thinking about how much hotter his brother is. Was. Meh, whatever…

I mean seriously.

Sometimes I wonder if he killed Itachi just to get his brother’s spot as Hottest Man in the Universe – which yeah, he now is by default, the cheater.

Itachi was hot in ways Sasuke still isn’t.

SERIOUSLY!

One day, when Sasucakes annoys me enough, I’m so gonna take the big guns out. It’ll be all:

“YOU KNOW WHAT, SASUKE? YOUR BROTHER’S HOT! HE IS SEXY! HE IS A SEXY BEAST! YEAH, YOU HEARD ME!” Then it’d be like, “He’s gorgeous! I’d tap him! Yeah, I’d tap him multiple times! On the bed, on the table, on the couch, on the floor—wherever, whenever!”

Cha.

Sigh.

Okay I think I’m just bored.

Yeah. Definitely.

Lame. I am so bored.

SOSOSOSO BORED,
Sakura

-

August 23

Diary,

I’m still bored.

I was so bored I decided to read all of Sasucake’s notes and stuff about Ayame and her stalker, whoever he is.

(Or whoever she is. It’s possible. Seriously, it is.

Creepy, but possible.)

Apparently, the dude who pulled a creeper and koala-hugged me was not the stalker. Well, I guess in all technicalities, he really was a stalker, but not the one we’re look for. This guy was as harmless as a freaking ant – and not a red ant since those ones are evil – and totally wouldn’t be able to do any harm to Ayame.

But whatever.

So what were those things about Ayame that I learned from the notes à la Sasucakes?

Well, for starters, she began her career at the age of fifteen – note: she’s seventeen right now – in a girl group called The Sugar Girls (lame, I know). There were four of them, I think, and well, apparently she was something of the lead-singer ergo the most famous, leading her to think oh-so highly of herself.

(HA! REMINDS ME OF A CERTAIN SOMEONE WHO HAS A NAME THAT RHYMES WITH TASUKE AND STARTS WITH AN S.

Yep. I am so subtle.)

Anyway, due to her arrogance, Ayame decided to ditch them, about fourteen months ago and fly solo.

While I firmly believe she is a bitch, I can’t say she made the wrong decision. While leaving behind one’s friends or band mates or teammates is a completely dickish and wrong thing to do, it really did Ayame (and her career) pretty well.

Oh.

I think I just put the grudge-against-Sasuke into a bit of perspective for myself.

God.

Dammit.

Kinda hungry,
Sakura

-

August 27

Diary,

So today, Naruto is off to go check up on Ayame at her safety resort place thing, which can only mean one thing.

THE SASUSAKU RABURABU MARATHON.

…That exists only in my head.

Anyway, I actually made the effort to make it a reality today.

I raided Ayame’s awesome wardrobe – the only thing she’s good for – this morning to find something sexy to go along with my new and improved Come Hither Eyes Version 2.0. I thought they could use a bit more work and a lot more do-me considering this is Sasuke I’m using them on.

I settled on this itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini and told Sasucakes I wanted to go swimming.

Genius plan, yes, I know! I mean, with the combination of my Come Hither Eyes Version 2.0, skankarific bikini, hotness and the water, not even Sasuke could resist!

But nay.

Hear us:

Sasucakes: “Sakura… What are you wearing?”
Sakura: “Oh, nothing much—”
Sasucakes: “Obviously.”
Sakura: (glares)

I mean, did he call me a slut in his subtle Sasuke language, because he better not have!

Sasucakes: “Whatever. Just take that off—”
Sakura: (mock-appalled) “Sasuke!” (pauses) “Well, if you insist.”
Sasucakes: (rolls eyes) “—and change.”
Sakura: “…But I wanna go swimming!” (smiles cutely) “You can come if you want!”
Sasucakes: “No, thank you.”

What is wrong with him, Diary?!

Sakura: (turns on Come Hither Eyes Version 2.0)
Sasucakes: (totally unaffected)
Sakura: (angry) “Ugh, this is so lame!” (stomps off)

And thus was my afternoon.

THUS WAS THE SASUSAKU RABURABU MARATHON.

Or the freaking lack thereof!

I AM NOT HAPPY.

Possibly PMS-ing,
Sakura

-

August 29

Diary,

Naruto still isn’t back yet and I’m bored.

His occasional bouts stupidity amuses me.

I mean I’ll quote him on it just to prove that calling him a moron so much is well… appropriate.

So apparently, when he saw Kurenai-sensei – thank her for existing and teaching and up-ing my totally awesome genjutsu skills, Kakashi-sensei – he thought she ate something giant, thus resulting in her belly. Like, no one can possibly be that stupid.

Sigh.

Anyway, Baldy came to me and told me we were contacted by one of Ayame’s old bandmates and she was wondering if Ayame – or well in all technicalities, me – could make it to a reunion concert thus leading me to my current problem.

I have to learn more songs.

And these aren’t just lame songs. These are super lame songs.

I’m screwed. I’m so, so screwed.

I not only have to learn that stuff but I have to learn the dances to said songs. I can’t even screw things up by accident because I’ll be with a group of girls who probably know Ayame better than anyone. Why does the world hate me so?

Not cool, Universe.

Not cool at all.

Woeful,
Sakura

-

August 31

Diary,

So yeah, Ayame’s old bandmates? Er they were rather…

I DO NOT LIKE THEM.

I DO NOT LIKE THEM AT ALL.

It started like this.

Sugar Girl 1: “Like, oh, my gosh, Ayame! You look so… so… so…”
Sakura: “Uh, hey… you!”
Sugar Girl 1: “Ayame…” (stage whispers) “Sweetie, did you forget about our diet plan?”
Sakura: “…excuse me?”
Sugar Girl 1: (sighs) “It’s okay, hun, we’ll just bring you to the gym to work off those extra pounds.”

I could not believe that girl’s gall! I mean really, she wants to bring me to the gym to lose weight.

I AM A KUNOICHI. THEY DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF A ‘WORK OUT’ UNTIL THEY CREATE EARTHQUAKES AND DITCHES AND SMASH BOULDERS AND—

Right.

BUT HERE IS WHERE I WANTED TO LAUGH IN HER FAKE FACE!

Sugar Girl 1: (haughtily) “So like, I can totally lift ten pounds now, Ayame!”

SERIOUSLY?

WELL, LOSER, I CAN LIFT A GIANT FROG. TAKE THAT.

And in came Sasuke, panty-dropper extraordinaire, taking the attention away from me/Ayame. Sort of.

Sugar Girl 2: “Ayame!” (smiles at Sasuke) “Is that your new bodyguard?”
Sakura: “Yes. Bodyguard, go get me water.”
Sasuke: (glares) “…sure.”
Sugar Girl 1: (has gall to wink)
Sasuke: (definitely shudders before ditching the joint)
Sugar Girl 3: “Babe, that is one hottie!”
Sugar Girl 2: (checks makeup) “Girls, how do I look?”
Sugar Girl 3: “Perfect!”
Sakura: “…Why?”
Sugar Girl 2: “Well I’m gonna go talk to him, duh.”

Then I did something bad.

In a fit of panic, though, so it wasn’t totally my fault. I think. Uh…

Sakura: “Y—you can’t!”
Sugar Girl 1: “Of course she can, Ayame.”
Sugar Girl 3: “Yeah, like how can you expect her to let a guy like that get away?!”
Sugar Girl 2: “Really, Ayame—”
Sakura: “He’s gay.”

Yep.

And I’m not even the slightest bit ashamed of myself, to be honest.

Content,
Sakura

-

September 1

Diary,

Okay so far Sasuke doesn’t know that there is a rumour going around the tour that he’s gay. But I’m sure most girls already assumed so! I mean, Ayame Nadakai (or at least who they think is the so-called ‘hottest girl ever’ according to some magazine) is constantly around him and he doesn’t spare me/her a second freaking glance! Most people just assume he’s gay nowadays!

…And they think he and Naruto have something going on.

(To be honest, I myself have considered this idea many, many times as well, which you obviously already know, Diary, as I’m sure I’ve told you about my theories tons of times!

I MEAN COME ON. HOW OFTEN DO THEY TRAIN TOGETHER? AND LIKE, THE NARUHINA SHIP HAS YET TO EVEN LEAVE PORT. NARUTO NEEDS TO LEARN TO BACK OFF MY TERRITORY.)

So yeah, I don’t think he knows I accidentally called him gay to make sure Two (Sugar Girl 2’s new nickname) didn’t even try making a move.

BUT LIKE, I WAS PROTECTING HIM.

I SWEAR.

HE IS MY PRECIOUS PERSON. AND STUFF.

I WAS PROTECTING HIM LIKE I WOULD PROTECT HIM FROM OROCHIMARU OR PEIN OR WHATEVER OTHER CREEPY-BUT-SORTA-DAMN-HOT AKATSUKI THE WORLD’LL THROW AT ME (ASSUMING SOMEONE PLAYED THE IDIOT AND LIKE, RESURRECTED THEM OR WHATEVER).

Anyway, Diary, onto the more important people, and by people I mean person, and by person I mean me.

Yeah.

So today, maybe around four-ish, after a gruelling music session with One, Two and Three with Sasuke lurking around and being constantly checked out (WHY DOESN’T HE JUST STAY AWAY?! Ugh, sometimes he is just so annoying!), I went back to my room.

And then bam, I saw it.

There was a bouquet of red roses on my bed.

Naturally I am having fun lying to myself and assuming it was Sasuke (but naturally, of course my hopes are being shot considering Sasuke is… Sasuke) since I don’t exactly have a definite sender. I’m still looking for the card, but it was probably from Naruto because he’s awesome.

Sigh.

Card-searching,
Sakura

-

September 2

Diary,

I hate the world. And Two. And Sasuke. And life. But mostly Two.

Why? Well see:

Two asked Sasuke if he was gay.

Sasuke gave her his are-you-freaking-retarded look and said no.

Then the slut totally asked him on a date.

And he said yes.

HE. SAID. YES.

(THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE BUT THIS SORT OF MAKES ME WANT TO BREAK INTO SINGING “SHOULD’VE SAID NO”.)

BUT SERIOUSLY – WHAT IS THIS?!

THAT. JERK.

UGH.

TYPICAL SASUKE.

Seriously pissed off,
Sakura

-

TBC

Sorry. I suck at updating and all. I know.
BUT HEY. HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE! :D