Hi, everybody! I am so sorry I abandoned this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Yeah. Okay then.

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REMUS: Alright. I choose…three.

SIRIUS: Excellent. I’ll count for you.

LILY: No. I’ll do it. I am much more responsible than you, Potter, and Pettigrew put together.

JAMES: Are not!

LILY: Am so!

JAMES: No!

LILY: Look, Potter! The merpeople are eating chocolate!

JAMES: What! I want some!

LILY: (Rolls eyes and starts counting)

-Five minutes later-

LILY: Okay. Ready?

REMUS: I suppose.

Spouse- Dolores Umbridge

REMUS: Who’s that?

SIRIUS: She’s probably the woman who will make your live a living hell.

REMUS: Nah. What more could she do to me?

SNAPE: What’s wrong with you?

REMUS: Your mother!

SNAPE: Oh. Now I see. Your mentally disturbed…

Wedding Robe Colour- Blue

SIRIUS: Let me be the first to say, Remus, you look dashing in blue.

REMUS: Why thank you, Sirius. But I still won’t sleep with you!

LILY: What the hell? Wait. I don’t even want to know.

REMUS: Well, Lily, Sirius wants to screw at least one guy before he dies.

LILY: Why don’t you just do yourself, Sirius?

SIRIUS: Believe me. I’ve tried. It’s just not the same.

LILY: Oh…

JAMES: Evans! Those merpeople are not eating chocolate! I actually don’t know what their doing…

LILY: Of course not, Potter! I made it up!

JAMES: Peter! Go swim out into the lake and ask those merpeople what they’re doing.

PETER: You really want me to?

JAMES: Yes! Now scoot!

LILY: No, Peter! He’s just joking!

JAMES: Get on with it, Peter!

PETER: (Shrugs and jumps into the lake)

Spouse’s Robes- Bronze

REMUS: Interesting…

LILY: What’s interesting?

REMUS: Well, I would have more to say on the subject if I knew what Dolores looked like.

SIRIUS: Let me paint you a picture. Dolores is tall, and lanky, and bald.

REMUS: With my luck, she probably will be. But I’m sure she’ll have a beautiful heart.

SIRIUS: Yeah. But she’s also a banshee!

Country you will live in- England

REMUS: Yes! I won’t be near these clowns! Sirius, don’t make that face! You know how I can’t resist the pouty face!

SIRIUS: Yeah. I know.

REMUS: No means no, Sirius.

SNAPE: There is something really wrong with all of you.

Place you will live- mansion

JAMES: Yes! Now you’ll have a place for all of us to stay when we come to visit!

REMUS: I don’t think so. You see, Dolores and I will be having lots of kids, and they are going to occupy all of those rooms.

Kids- None

REMUS: Crap…

SIRIUS: Oh come on, Remus! You know you love it!

REMUS: No, I am really not loving it right now…

JAMES: Yeah baby! Remus’s house, here we come!

REMUS: Peter is the only one who can visit me! Where is he anyway?

JAMES: Who cares?

Nickname- P-dog

SIRIUS: That’s a strange nickname for you.

REMUS: I know that you all were expecting it to be Nancy. Am I right?

SNAPE: Yes.

REMUS: No comments from the peanut gallery, please!

Method of transportation- Car

SIRIUS: That’s completely (giggle) respectable.

JAMES: Yeah. Not bad!

SNAPE: That’s all you can afford? A muggle device?

REMUS: Shut up, peanut gallery!

Personality- happy

JAMES: Oh yeah. I could defiantly see that.

REMUS: Sure. I’m marrying Dolores Umbridge. Who wouldn’t be happy?

SNAPE: Every living thing on Earth would be unhappy if they married Dolores Umbridge.

REMUS: Why? What do you know about her?

SNAPE: Nothing…

Favorite book- A History of Magic

REMUS: Ah yes. It already is a favorite.

JAMES: Really strange.

REMUS: Who? Me?

JAMES: Yeah. You like the most boring book in the whole universe.

Pet- bull

REMUS: I don’t think I can handle a pet. Especially not a bull.

JAMES: Don’t worry! When we visit, we’ll help you!

SIRIUS: Oh wait. We’re not invited to Remus’s house.

PETER: (panting) James…Those merpeople…they weren’t eating chocolate…

JAMES: Really? What were they doing?

PETER: There…were…no…merpeople!

JAMES: Really? Then what are those things?

PETER: Those are the giant squid’s tentacles!

JAMES: Cool!

PETER: I touched one and it grabbed me and started throwing me from tentacle to tentacle! What? You didn’t see me?

SIRIUS: No, mate. Sorry.

SNAPE: I did.

PETER: Why didn’t you say anything? You could have helped me?

SNAPE: It amused me.

PETER: (collapses)

JAMES: Maybe we should take him inside…