The morning after Sasuke left I went home and cried until I threw up. It was awful. I couldn’t stop.

Dear Sasuke, Do you think you could come back sometime? Just for a little vacation? I’d like to see you again.

Sometimes I sneak bottles of sake from Tsunade’s office and drink them in the bushes outside of the hospital during lunch break. Sake tastes like banana peels against my tongue. But I keep drinking anyways.

Dear Sasuke, Are you doing well? Right now? Wherever you are? I wish I knew where you were. Then I could actually send letters to you.

I slept so much yesterday. I think twelve hours. But when I woke up I still felt tired. Is something wrong with me?

Dear Sasuke, Do you know people are talking about you as if you’re dead? I wish you’d come back so you could prove them wrong.

On Friday Tsunade got mad because all her sake was gone. She asked me if I knew anything but I said no. Tsunade knew I was being dishonest. I could see it in her face, but she took pity on me and pretended to believe my lie.

Dear Sasuke, I can hardly remember what happened the night you left. I think I cried a lot, but not as much as I do now. I started crying the other day, while I was healing a patient. Tsunade had to come and take me away.

This afternoon I kept seeing Sasuke everywhere. I saw him at the hospital and at Ichiraku and even when I was talking to Ino. Am I turning crazy?

Dear Sasuke, I asked Sai if he could paint a picture of you. He doesn’t really know what your face looks like, so I had to stand there and describe you while he painted. It came out looking really good. I hide it under my bed and look at it every once in a while.

Today someone asked me how I was doing. I couldn’t remember her name. I said I was doing great and everything’s fine and I even mentioned how nice she looked with that ribbon in her hair. These were all lies.

Dear Sasuke, I don’t even work anymore. You’d be disappointed. The only thing I do at the hospital is entertain the old people. It’s not that fun. I should probably tell Tsunade to assign me to another task, but I feel too tired nowadays. My legs feel like they’ve been pasted to my body with super glue.

Ino wanted to go shopping, so I went with her. She tried to convince me how great I looked in this outfit or blah blah blah. I said I didn’t want any clothes and could I please just sit down? Ino looked hurt but she said okay. I didn’t mean to make her feel bad but how can I be nice to anyone when I feel like this?

Dear Sasuke, I hope you’re getting enough to eat. When you come back I could buy you a bunch of tomatoes. I’m sure you’d like that.

It was Valentine’s Day last weekend. While I was walking to the hospital I kept seeing happy couples walking the streets and holding hands. I found myself screaming at them. What is wrong with me?

Dear Sasuke, Why did you leave? Why? Did you know how many people you hurt along the way? Why did you always act so mean, Sasuke? Don’t you know revenge is pointless? How could you be so stupid?

I hide all the letters to Sasuke in a folder under my mattress. Last night the bed felt weird, and it was probably because the stack of letters had gotten too fat. I bought another folder.

Dear Sasuke, I know I shouldn’t be wasting my time like this and writing letters to you that I don’t even send. You’d call me a weakling and a sissy, but I wouldn’t care. I’d just be happy to hear your voice again.

Naruto finally convinced me to go out to eat with him. We had a nice time. I felt a little better. I could learn how to live my life again, I think.

Dear Sasuke, Today I took out the painting Sai made of you and looked at it for a long time. Then I hung it up on the wall. Now your face is the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.

When you come back from wherever you are right now, could you drop by my house for a visit? I wouldn’t mind, really.

I really miss you, Sasuke. I bet Naruto and Kakashi miss you too. Do you ever think about us? Ever?

And don’t worry. I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.

Yours,

Sakura