Author: Nightmare Remnant PM
Because he wasn’t sure, but he was…that he couldn’t love and couldn’t be loved. [Drabble]Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 434 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12-09-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3938278
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
But Seimi is dead, and Seimi has always been loved. Not liked but loved. It was frustrating and confusing. His thoughts eventually running in circles Ritsuka would sit there at night and wonder at the irony of the situation.
Because somehow, in someway it had to be ironic. Maybe it was the fact he loved his brother so absolutely and that Soubi had loved his brother. The bitter irony of two people who loved the man always loved but unable to love anyone else, a tragic detail in the many tragic details. Ritsuka's current life is made up of tragic, blurred, overly defined and morbid details.
So at night, when the thoughts become too much Ritsuka clutches at his head and cries out for his brother. Because Seimi made everything all right and right now nothing is all right.
Caught in the many webs of his own thoughts and everything that made up his life Ritsuka cried out. Because he wasn't sure, but he was…that he couldn't love and couldn't be loved. That all he could feel was a desperate attachment that wasn't quite love.
Or that no one could love him. Maybe he was both or either, unable to love or unable to be loved. Ritsuka isn't sure, and after awhile with all the tragic details blurred and smeared around him, he finds he can no longer care.
He accepts Soubi's dead reassurances of love and holds them tight with a desperate denial at times. Refusing to believe them not to be real. In the morning he comes to his senses and thrusts away the dreams of a child and becomes that harsh adult again.
Ritsuka isn't sure what they mean by Loveless, but it is his name.
He just wonders whether it means he cannot love or cannot be loved.