A/N: After much thought, this will indeed be the last chapter for this story. I have decided to do a sequel which will deal with the real-life ramifications of this chapter. THANK YOU for all who reviewed and supported this story.

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As he felt the soft edges of a wave ripple over his sandy torso, Gil Grissom scrambled to his feet.

NO!

He didn’t want to be in his secret hideaway.

This was no longer his Better Place. Sara was not here.

He wanted to get back to Sara.

He needed to get back to Sara.

Gil twisted wildly and forged a path of wet footprints from the seashore to the thicket. Perhaps Lady G. was still here.

She had helped him before.

Talking to her had helped him practice voicing his true feelings.

Talking to her had helped him break down the barriers he held in place his entire life, helped him to admit his feelings for another person without fear of rejection and the pain of being alone.

Perhaps talking to her would help him find his way back to his true love.

His muscular arms frantically tried to remove another piece of the blockade, but the branch stubbornly remained locked in place. “Lady G.! Lady G! Please…I need your help. Please help me!” As he impatiently waited for her response, his thoughts were of Sara and the danger of another nightmare beginning in his absence. He wanted to be with her, to protect her.

He distractedly added the newly loosened length of ebony wood to the growing pile located outside the hollow.

--

Sara had been slumped on the opposite side of the thicket, trying to halt the cascading tears that refused to stop moistening her cheeks.

Having been there alone for some time, she was feeling lost. Those feelings of abandonment, having been herded to the deepest recesses of her being, were now released – and threatening to overcome her.

This was no longer her Better Place. Grissom was not here.

She had walked the shore, trying to dispel the darkness that threatened her with the return of her nightmares. She had hoped to share her past in more detail with him before…Sofia.

She gulped back the tears of hopelessness that again threatened to overcome her.

After what seemed like an eternity, she sat and reflected on her life and thought again about…death. Was this what she was to expect?

Perhaps the real hell was not so much a fiery prison yielding no escape. Perhaps the real agony came from the burning inside your soul caused by a solitary state that left you brimming with emotions, crying out for release – and having no one to share them with.

Unrequited love. The only love Sara Sidle had known throughout her life.

She was here in what used to be her Better Place.

And as with all her dreams, the illusion had faded into the stark reality of isolation.

However, now she realized that even death would offer her no solace.

She felt trapped…with no hope of rescue. So she had slumped against the thicket, staring out into her Camelot, distracted by the rhythm of her breaking heart.

--

That is why the far off cries were at first ignored. She had been here for most of the time since Doc Robbins had injected her with medication powerful enough to curb her pain, (and unbeknownst to her, the fact that Gil had taken up sentry duty over his love.)

She had been oblivious to his rambling professions of love, only somehow sensing deeply that she was not alone and at that moment was being cared for. This comfort had caused her to relax deeply and return to her Better Place.

And now she heard an urgent plea emerging once again from the other side of the thicket: “Lady G.! Lady G! Please…I need your help. Please help me!”

--

Startled, Sara almost fell face forward onto the sandy surface as she called out while trying to scurry to her feet and keep her balance, “I’m here! Are you injured, Sir G.?”

Relief washed over him at her response. He hastened to continue.

“I need to leave this place, to return to my one true love. I find myself trapped here. I need to go back. Last time we talked I returned so quickly…please can you help me again?”

Without notice, more branches were loosened and discarded onto a growing cord of firewood.

Stifling a morbid laugh, Sara replied, “I can’t help you. I can’t even help myself…”

There was a long pause.

Once again, guilt engulfed Gil as her mournful tone sent him to high alert. He had heard that tone in Sara’s voice many times before the night of her DUI. He had chastised himself repeatedly for letting it go by without intervention.

He had promised himself never to let that kind of inaction happen again.

Gil took a step back to ponder his next move. He had to act quickly, but he did not want to create anymore fear or pain than Lady G. was already experiencing. Sometimes the best way to go fast was to go slow.

Life is always about choices. Here he was, focused on returning to Sara so he could fend off her demons and confess his true feelings for her. He wanted her to know he had changed, that he was no longer going to be indecisive about acting on his feelings.

Here he was, faced with his anonymous neighbor who had shared his loneliness and was now definitely showing the need for a friend. If he concentrated on trying to help her, then his Sara might awaken alone.

He sighed, and then a half-smile graced his face. He marveled at how Sara’s influence had managed to change his outlook – and he hadn’t even as yet expressed his true feelings to her.

Sara Sidle, he mused, was one of the most unselfish, most giving, most compassionate people he had ever encountered. Time and again, she had forgiven his failings and continued to believe him worthy of loving relationship, even when he doubted himself. If their situations were reversed, there was no question in his mind that she would attempt to help her neighbor.

And in sacrificing his own needs to help another, as he knew Sara would insist upon, an amazing thing occurred:

Gil Grissom truly became Sara’s knight in shining armor.

--

“Lady G.! Please talk to me. The last time we spoke, you led me to believe you are all alone and …well…sounding….desperate. Please talk to me. I need to hear you talk to me!”

Wiping away another tear, Sara braced her hands on the next ebony branch and started to speak but the words would not come. She intended to state the trite “I’m fine”, or the overused “Don’t worry about me”, or the irritating “Really, I’m OK”. But she had no energy left to start the music and begin the dance for the umpteenth time. In the harsh reality of this sunlight, for once she could see the damage her reticence had caused to her own well being.

“Sir G., I fear my story would be neither short nor pleasant. There are specters in my life that have come to claim me. I…I am afraid.”

As she felt her tears again begin their assault, she also felt…anger. Sara’s defensive shield was beginning to break down.

Unsure of what to say during this lull in her response, he simply placed his hand on another branch and said, “Take all the time you need. I’m here. I’m listening. Please….talk to me…”

Intent on hearing her reply, he absently sent more wood to the heap at the entranceway.

Sara, also, was unaware of the continued loosening of the ebony labyrinth that stretched before her. Concentrating on her response and the release of her pent-up anger, she absently began tossing the loosened ebony branches on a pile outside the entrance to the hollow.

Her body welcomed the reprieve from the midday sun as she found herself now standing in a hollow of the thicket. It was a slightly shadowed enclosure that could best be described as the backdrop for a ‘perfect summer day’.

Her intensifying emotional response, however, made her oblivious to her surroundings. Instead, she focused her thoughts solely on all the pain she had been subjected to throughout her horror-filled life.

This anguish permeated her being, causing her to lash out at her knight.

“Oh, are you really sure you can handle it? Because I can tell you stories that will curl your hair, Mister! Everyone is always asking if I am fine, if I want to talk…but the truth is no one really wants to know. Because if I were to tell you the truth, the unvarnished truth, you would run so far and so fast just to escape what I have had to relive EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!”

By now she was so agitated, she was screaming at him. All the while, she was physically tearing at the thicket, limbs flying off their entanglements. It was as if she were strangling every person who should have been there to protect her, yet turned their head away so as not to get “too involved” with this “troubled child”.

Gil reacted strongly to her outburst. “Lady G.! I am here…I am listening…I am not leaving you…please…TELL ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!”

By now he was so agitated, he was screaming at her. All the while, he was physically tearing at the thicket, limbs flying off their entanglements. It was as if he were trying to remove every barrier, every memory of turning his head away so as not to get “too involved” when faced with someone, like his Sara, who seemed to be “troubled”.

Sobbing, Sara braced herself against the thicket. From across the cavern, Gil’s heart was breaking. He needed to get to her. He did not know this person. But his limited interactions with her strengthened his resolve to help this gentle soul through this crisis.

To reassure her that every person has worth, that every person deserves love…

This need to reassure her made him pause.

--

Did he really believe that?

That even HE was a person worthy of love?

Gil braced himself against the thicket. Tears began to form in his eyes. In his entire solitary life, he had donned the armor and fought a good fight.

But he had never let anyone close. He had to guard his fragile heart, he told himself. But now, within the shadows of the cavern, he began to face an ugly truth.

He had felt love in his life. His mother showed him care and concern. And he had been a dutiful son.

But he had not felt worthy of anyone’s love.

He now faced the fact that he had blamed himself for his father’s departure. When his parents’ quarreling had escalated, he had silently blamed himself.

He was supposed to love his father and mother, right?

Because, and he had never admitted his own dark secret –

He hated his parents for always arguing around him…

He hated his father for abandoning them, and making him different from the other kids…

He hated that he could not do all the things the other kids did growing up…

He hated his lonely life…then…and now…

But he was supposed to love his father and mother, right? Well weren’t they supposed to be worthy of his love? …

But no…they had quarreled and his father had left…

so it must have been his fault because he hated them when they were together, right?...

And if he had been to blame for the breakdown of his family, who could love such child?

Gil stopped and stared at these thoughts as though they were displayed on a mental SMARTBOARD. The scientist in him stepped back and looked at the syllogism he had just expressed. Any freshman psychology major could see that his premises did not support his conclusion.

He blinked. It was becoming harder to breathe.

Had he just admitted to himself that he, Gil Grissom, had looked at this all wrong?

That he wasn’t doomed to living with loneliness anymore?

That he could have happiness like all those other people around him?

That he was worthy of the love of a wonderful woman like Sara?

The intensity of his clawing increased, as he tried desperately to reach Lady G. He wanted to reach out to her and help her understand the truth that he had uncovered here. He wanted so badly to show her that there would be people in her life that would really want to know, and to love, her – no matter what was in her past.

And the pile at the entryway continued to grow.

“Lady G.! Please…I am coming…I am trying so hard to get to you…don’t give up…please…talk to me…”

Sara’s anger had not abated. What Gil heard next sent shivers through his body.

“Fine! You want to know about my past? sounds of ripping wood

You want to know what happened to me? vigorous tearing sounds

I have been an orphan since I was five years old! sounds of wood being tossed

And I was GLAD to be an orphan. crashing of timbers

It was the only way my father was stopped from…

molesting me nightly! sounds of walls collapsing

As the walls around her continued to collapse, Sara shrank to the floor inconsolably. Her weeping sounds reverberated throughout the thicket, which now resembled an unfinished tunnel – being shaped from either end, with a short amount of distance left to be breached before full contact was made.

Gil waited until the shock of her revelation had dimmed somewhat.

His protective instincts screamed for him to hurry to her.

In his years as a CSI, he had come to uncover some ugly truths about the sickness of child abuse.

Those cases had always gotten to him and brought out the primal urge for revenge. Although he had heard her admission:

he was angry enough to want to kill the man who had done this to her.

No longer fearful for her safety, as she had told him what he hoped was the end of her tragic nightmare; his voice belied his heartbreak as he tried to calmly encourage her to continue.

“Lady G.?”

Sara sat surrounded by the mounting pile of broken ebony. She felt herself being buried by the growing tower. It felt strangely comforting, as if the thicket itself wished to embrace her.

“I hated him.

I hated all of them.

My father who hurt me and my mother who knew and did nothing out of her own fear.

The doctors and nurses who saw my injuries and accepted the lies.

The kindergarten teachers who didn’t feel it was in their job description to worry about my injuries.

The child services workers who railroaded me like their unwelcomed burden.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME!!

BUT NO ONE EVER PROTECTED ME!!

NO ONE EVER …LOVED…”

She couldn’t continue. But no matter. Her words would not have been heard over the din.

For upon her total admission of her pent up anger, frustration, sense of betrayal, and lack of ever really feeling loved, an amazing thing happened.

The remaining interior walls of the thicket simply fell like a house of cards.

The ebony branches, originally tightly bound and seemingly impenetrable, now lay in a heap as they softly unlatched their hold on each other. It was as if Sara’s admission of her true feelings had loosened the bonds that kept her trapped in her despair.

There was a light emanating from the other side of the tunnel.

As she raised her tear-swollen eyes towards the light, she heard the voice of her knight in shining armor becoming stronger, his tenor vibrating as he enthusiastically began climbing through the rubble, the vibrating sound mimicking that of a horseback rider charging towards his destination.

She was mired in this tower made of scattered wood. Her knight was coming! She would be rescued!

He had heard her greatest secret.

He hadn’t flinched.

He hadn’t run away.

He hadn’t thought she was unworthy of rescue.

For the first time in her life, Sara felt…peace.

--

After some false starts, Gil had almost scaled the pile of rubble. The dust was beginning to settle.

He continued to shout that help was on the way.

HE was on the way.

Asking her to hold on.

Asking her to trust him.

Sara was unable to speak. Her emotional catharsis had left her weakened and somewhat in shock. She continued to hear his soothing voice.

He hadn’t run away.

He hadn’t run away.

He was coming to rescue her.

At that moment, Gil Grissom reached the pinnacle of the rubble.

Their eyes locked.

Their breaths were drawn in simultaneously.

They stood…staring.

Their previous conversations began running through their minds.

Had she really thought about suicide?

--Had he really been unsure how to start a relationship?

Had she really admitted she was molested?

--Had he really wanted to leave this place to be with her

Had she really always wanted to be rescued by a knight…in armor…like I have always worn

--Had he really just scaled that rubble to rescue me? My knight?

Thank God she is all right…how I love this woman!

--Thank God he came for me…how I love this man!

He quickly descended the pile of wood and carefully extracted her from the ebony tower that had her imprisoned. He scooped her up in his arms and swung her with abandoned, all the while treasuring the feel of her in his arms.

Sara smiled widely through her tears as she reveled in the feel of his arms around her.

This is a dream, and I never want to wake up!

They clung to each other as they made their way back toward their safe haven, Gil wanting Sara to regain her strength out of the midday sun. His hands never released her from his grip as he lowered them both to the sandy shadows.

As the beachfront wildlife cawed and fluttered in the background, the waves were building onto the shoreline. The wind had picked up slightly causing the sand to envelope the landscape in a softly glittering whirlwind. This air movement whistled softly through the fully-opened tunnel, causing a lilting natural song to play in the background. The whistling movement caused the vegetation that had been hidden above the thicket to rustle, sending a torrent of native butterflies winging their way overhead towards the shoreline.

Sara shivered slightly. She did not know if she was really chilled or if she was reacting to the fulfillment of her heart’s deepest longing.

Gil immediately enveloped her in his strong arms, lightly running his hands over her back to warm her. This action, however, unleashed the deepest longing of his heart. He pulled back and smiled as he lifted his hand to remove a runaway curl from her downcast eyes. His action caused her to lift her face. She looked deep into his eyes.

He was no longer lost.

He was home.

He used the stack of wood she had discarded at the entrance to build a small bonfire. He had wanted to warm her. But Sara didn’t need a fire to keep warm.

Her love for him would do that.

They sat, huddled close in front of the fire.

Butterflies continued to hover in the distance.

The seabirds cawed and cooed on the shoreline.

The waves pounded gently onto the sandy shore.

Keeping her close, he whispered in her ear, reciting from Thomas Moore:

No eye to watch, and no tongue to wound us,
All earth forgot, and all heaven around us.

And then, in the shadows of their island retreat –

Gil and Sara shared their first expression of the depth of their true feelings for each other.

And made love – to their true love - for the first time in their lives.

Today…they had truly made this their Better Place.

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