Stadard disclaimers. I don't own anything. All characters are OOC.

Five years into their training trip and after many mistakes and moments of idiocy by Genma, Ranma met, and had to bid a tearful farewell to, his first, dear friend, Kuonji Ukyo. He thought it was nice of Mr Kuonji to give his daddy the yatai as a going-away present. That was the same year that his daddy tried something weird. He dug a pit, filled it with kitties, and threw Ranma in, covered in fish. Naturally, Ranma fed the kitties each time he was thrown in. Eventually, Genma gave up.

Eight years and many more mistakes and idiotic moments later, Ranma’s father made him go to an all boy school. It was there he met another friend, Hibiki Ryoga. Ranma thought he was a nice guy once you got passed his piss-poor sense of direction. He was waiting for Ryoga to show up for their latest sparing match three months later when, sadly, his father got impatient, knocked him out, and dragged him off to the nearest port, only waking him to swim to China. Ranma didn’t even get to say goodbye to his friend this time.

After a year and a half in China, their journey brought them to a certain training ground hidden within the Bayankara Range in the Mt Quaichin region of Qinghai province. This turned out to be another example of Genma’s idiocy. The fool couldn’t read Chinese, didn’t bother listening to the training ground’s guide, and provoked his son to join him on the poles above the springs that would seal their fate. Ranma was naturally surprised when a giant panda emerged from the spring he’d kicked his father into, and thrown off guard enough to get knocked into another.

“AIYAHHHH!!!” yelled the Guide. “He fall in too, too cursed spring! Legend say all spring drain into this one! Never know what customer come out as! If very lucky, he no get curse. Not have many lucky customer, though.”

What he and the many guides before him did not know was that the springs did not drain into this one. This spring was instead a master spring. It was controlled by a spirit of justice and, as such, gave its visitors the form they most deserved and/or needed, occasionally righting the wrongs done by other springs. In Ranma’s case, the spirit of the spring blink-blinked upon encountering him. ‘Hmm,’ it thought, ‘old ma nature did a half-assed job with this one. Can’t say I blame her when humans keep mutilating the ones she makes as soon as they’re born. Oh well, might as well fix it.’

Genma and the Guide held their breath as Ranma emerged. At first, it seemed like nothing had changed. The Guide was the first to notice the difference. “AIYAHHH!!!” he yelled. “Sir have mixed curse of Spring of Drowned Man and Spring of Drowned Woman! Sir now is ladyboy!”

“WHAT!?!” cried a shocked Ranma. He didn’t feel anything too different. But, just to be sure, he turned and looked at his reflection in the water… then looked closer. Other than his face being slightly softer, he could see nothing wrong… then he looked lower and opened his gi to reveal a smallish set of boobs. He didn’t see much of anything else after that as he’d fai-… er, lost consciousness.

0.0

Six months after the Jusenkyo debacle and yet more bouts of idiocy, Genma and Ranma returned to Japan. Everything seemed to be going as normal until they reached Nerima, Tokyo.

“I still say the whole thing sucks!” yelled a soaked and irate Ranma as s/he and his/her father fought in the rain. “Pickin my fiancée without even askin!” S/he then threw his/her father into a stop sign, knocking it down.

As he stood back up, Genma-panda held up a sign that said “It’s a matter of honour, boy.”

The young hermaphrodite winced at this. “D-damn. Why do ya always gotta bring up honour? Fine, I’ll go meet em. But I ain’t makin no promises, oyaji. An’ could ya change back first?”

I’d only get wet and change again Genma-panda signed. With that settled, the odd pair made their way down the road to the puzzled mutters of passers-by.

0.0

In a modest family home in Nerima, a meeting was taking place between a man and his three daughters.

“Wait a second!” yelled Akane. “Don’t we get to choose who we marry?!”

“Calm down, Akane,” said Nabiki. “You never know, he might be cute.”

“All boys are perverts!”

“Now, now,” said their father, “do try not to judge him before meeting him, ne, Akane? They should be here any moment.”

“So, father,” said Kasumi, “what’s Ranma like? Is he older than me?”

“Is he cute?” asked Nabiki.

Their father laughed nervously, then said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” asked Nabiki with a hint of steel in her voice and a dangerous look on her face.

“I’ve never met him. They’ve only recently returned from a training trip that extended into China.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Akane. “I’m going to the dojo now. If Nabiki or Kasumi wants to be stuck with some pervert, they can marry this Ranma, but count me out.” With that, she walked off.

After she left, there was a knock on the door. The father immediately ran to answer it, followed closely by his two remaining daughters.

“Ooh, it must be Ranma,” said Nabiki.

“Saotome, my old friend!” cried her father. When he opened the door, instead of the bespectacled, balding man he remembered, he saw… a giant panda?

“Outta the way, stupid!” said a voice from behind the animal. “He ain’t gonna recognise ya like that, so ya might as well move!” The panda stepped aside so that the people at the door could see who was speaking. “Hi,” said the androgynous person before them. “You must be Tendo Soun. I’m Saotome Ranma. Sorry about this.”

0.0

“So, let me see if I’ve got this straight,” said Nabiki after things had been explained to those present. “You and your dad went to a cursed training ground in China, and now he turns into a panda while you turn into a hermaphrodite.”

“Yep, only… mine’s permanent,” said Ranma.

“Oh my, what a pity,” said Kasumi as she served tea.

“Well,” said Soun, “your problem isn’t all that bad. All we have to do is take you to a surgeon and have those… erm…”

As he was pointing at Ranma’s chest and looking rather uncomfortable, Ranma decided to have pity on him… somewhat. “My boobs?” he said.

“Yes, those… removed, and the vow to unite the schools can be carried out.”

“Hate ta tell ya this, Tendo-san, but I’m kinda comfortable this way. I got used to it in six months and I hate hospitals. ‘Sides, I couldn’t afford ta cut ‘em off if I wanted ta.”

“Oh the shame!” cried his father. “To think my dishonourable son could so easily accept such an unnatural form! It breaks your poor father’s heart!”

“Oh the shame that my idiot father would force his son under the knife to fix his own mistakes!” Ranma cried mockingly. “Let’s not ferget whose idea it was ta go ta that training ground in the first place. Oh, and remember who wanted ta go ta China even though they didn’t speak a word of Chinese?”

“It was all for the art, boy.”

“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, this curse ain’t that much of a problem. My boobs’re small enough fer me ta tie ‘em down so nobody’ll notice ‘em, an’ I’m still a guy where it counts.”

“Very well then,” said Soun, patting Ranma on the shoulder and turning him to face the two of his daughters that were present. “My eldest daughter, Kasumi, is 19 and my middle daughter, Nabiki, is 17. Pick either one and she’ll be your fiancée.”

“Eldest and middle?” asked Genma. “You’ve got another child here Tendo-kun?”

“Yes,” Soun replied, “but my youngest does not wish to take part in this, Saotome-kun.”

“She’s gonna hit the roof when she meets Ranma though, daddy,” said Nabiki.

“Oh my, you’re right, Nabiki,” said Kasumi. “It’s a good thing you’re going to be Ranma’s fiancée then.”

“Huh? Why me? What about you?”

“I’m already interested in someone, remember?”

“Oh, right. Well, it could be worse.”

“Um, shouldn’t I have some say in this?” asked Ranma.

“What, you interested in someone else, Saotome?” Nabiki replied.

“Well, no, but…”

“Trust me when I say that things could be a lot worse. You might have ended up with Akane if she was here. She hates boys, and I somehow doubt being half girl would help you. Besides, at least you don’t turn into an animal like your father.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“It’s settled then,” said Soun. “Ranma, Nabiki shall be your fiancée. Treat her well, son.”

“Uhh… sure…”

“Please let me show you to your room, Ranma, Saotome-san,” said Kasumi as she stood and headed toward the stairs. They followed and were quickly settled.

An hour or so later, as the two fathers were seated at the table catching up on old times while Ranma took a bath and the two Tendo sisters got back to whatever it was they were doing before meeting the Saotomes, a loud scream could be heard from the bathroom, followed by running. The screamer and runner in question turned out to be none other than Akane, who had dashed from the bathroom wearing little more than her gi top and was now grabbing up the dinner table shouting, “I’ll drown him in the bathtub!!”

“Oh my,” said Kasumi, alerted by all the noise her sister was making, “what’s wrong, Akane?”

“There’s a pervert in the bathroom!!” said girl replied.

“That’s just Ranma,” said Nabiki, who had also come to see what all the fuss was about. “Don’t worry about it.”

“How can you say that, Nabiki?! He’s a pervert!!”

“I’m a pervert?!” yelled Ranma from the doorway. He’d taken a few seconds to dress before dashing downstairs. “You’re the one who ignored the occupied sign and didn’t bother knockin before walkin in the bathroom!”

“You saw me naked, you lech! And it’s different when a girl sees a boy!”

“Excuse me,” said Nabiki as she walked over to Ranma’s side. “Sorry about this, Ranma. She tends to overreact. Akane, this is Saotome Ranma, my fiancé. Ranma, this is my baby sister, Akane.”

“FIANCÉ!?!” yelled Akane. “You’re actually engaged to this sicko?!”

“Oh, get a grip, Akane. Nobody told you to walk in on him. In fact, I should charge you for peeping on my future husband.” Akane stood there sputtering for a few moments, then began to storm off in a huff.

“What I don’t get,” said Ranma as she was passing, “is how she could stare at me in the bathroom and not even notice my boobs…”

That comment stopped Akane cold. ‘His what?!’ she thought.

“And yet she notices I’m a boy and has the nerve to call me a pervert. At least I didn’t stare.”

“Oh please, Ranma,” said Nabiki. “They’re not exactly big enough to notice.”

“Hey!”

“Come on, you’re a guy… sort of. That should not offend you.”

Just then, Akane walked back into the room with a shocked look on her face. “Correct me if I’m wrong,” she said, “but did I just hear that… that… boy” she spat “say he had boobs?”

“Yes, you did, Akane,” said Kasumi. “And I’m quite surprised you didn’t notice them yourself as you did see him naked.” She wore a puzzled look on her face. “Were you only looking below his waist? That’s very improper, Akane.”

“I WAS TRYING NOT TO LOOK AT ALL!!”

“Didn’t seem that way ta me,” said Ranma. “It took ya all of, what, two minutes ta leave?”

“I WAS IN SHOCK!!”

“Suuure you were,” said Nabiki. “Akane no hentai.”

Akane, having her defences shot down and having to absorb the fact that her sister’s fiancé had breasts, stormed off yet again, slamming the door to her room.

“You know,” Nabiki continued after she had gone, “Now that I look, yours are only a little smaller than hers.”

Ranma just looked at her as if she were nuts and thought, ‘What has that stupid panda got me into now?’