I decided to write a holiday one-shot and try my hand at my OTP, KakaSaku. It turned out to be epic length, because we all know I can’t do anything in small doses.

So here is a massive one-shot for you all, a Christmas gift from me. Enjoy lots of flirting, WAFF, and of course a nice helping of holiday smut to keep you warm!

P.S. Kakashi is 35 in this fic, so if you do the math that makes Sakura 21. Enjoy!

---

Christmas Confessions

--

Sakura entered the hospital staff room and made her way to the back at a plodding, weary pace. The hospital was always busy around Christmas; aside from the influx of head colds this time of year, for some odd reason people tended to be more prone to ridiculous accidents around the holidays as well. Tonight had been no different, and the pink haired medic was more than glad to be done with her shift and going home.

She passed the sitting area where an exhausted chuunin medic trainee was passed out in an old shabby armchair, and as she walked by she heard the drone of the news forecast coming from the small radio on the coffee table. Freezing temperatures, with a probability of high winds. Great. Just how she wanted to spend her week off from work; locked in her house with nothing to do because it was too cold to go anywhere. It could at least snow once in a while to make up for it, but no, not in Fire country.

With a tired and mildly irritated sigh, she approached the wall of lockers in the back of the room and stopped before the one with her name engraved on a small metal plate. She opened the locker and shrugged off her white lab coat, exchanging it for her heavy winter parka. She pulled the dark coat on and then wrapped the sea green scarf Ino had gotten her last Christmas around her neck before closing the locker and leaving the room.

She stopped at the reception desk near the entrance and was greeted by the plump receptionist, Yumiko.

“Hello, Sakura-san. Are you on your way out for the night?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah. I have the next week off, actually, so I was just stopping by to see if there’s anything in my inbox that needs to be signed before I leave.”

The older woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “The Hokage actually let you take a whole week off? You really do get perks as her apprentice…”

Sakura gave a short laugh. “Hardly. If anything it’s the exact opposite. But actually, she is forcing me to take a week off, says I’ve been working too hard and overstressing myself,” she explained. She secretly thought her shishou just didn’t want her to make her look bad as she slacked off, but she was still grateful to her mentor for giving her a much needed break no matter what the reason.

“Ah, well, lucky you in any case. So do you have any special plans for Christmas?” she asked as she moved to the row of cubbyholes on a nearby wall.

“Not really. I’ll probably just pig out on cookies and enjoy sleeping in,” Sakura answered with a small smile.

Yumiko looked over her shoulder in surprise. “What? No plans at all? There’s nothing here but some thank you cards from patients, by the way, you want them now?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah sure, I’ll take them. And no, I really don’t have any plans. Everyone I know is going to be spending it with their families or they are away on missions. So it’s just me this year,” she replied with a small shrug.

Yumiko came back and handed her a few envelopes before sitting in her chair again. “That’s just not right, Sakura-san!” she exclaimed, “No one should be alone in during the holidays, and tomorrow is Christmas Eve! Are you sure there’s no one to spend it with, no secret man you’re not telling anyone about to keep you warm on the cold nights?” she asked with a sly smile on her mousy features.

Sakura laughed quietly and shook her head. “I think you read too many romance novels, Yumiko-san. The only thing I spend my cold winter nights with is a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.”

The brunette shook her head sadly. “Such a shame. Well, I hope you have a happy holiday anyway.”

She smiled again. “Thanks. You too. Are you working this year?”

“No, I’m actually on my way out in a few minutes as well and I have the next two days off. I just have to drop these files off at the jounin headquarters before I go,” she answered, patting a small stack of folders on the desk.

“I’ll take them for you.” Sakura offered amiably.

“You don’t have to do that, Sakura-san. Go home and enjoy your vacation.”

“No really, it’s no trouble. I pass by the jounin HQ on my way home every night anyway, so I don’t mind,” she insisted.

“Are you sure? Ok, thanks Sakura-san,” Yumiko replied with a warm smile.

“No problem.” She reached out to take hold of the stack the woman offered and tucked them under her arm.

“Just drop them off at the night desk; they’ll know what to do with them.”

“Ok. I guess I’ll see you in a week then. Night, Yumiko-san,” she said with a parting smile as she turned for the exit.

“Goodnight, Sakura-san! Merry Christmas!

---

Sakura briskly walked the few blocks from the hospital to the jounin headquarters, her scarf pulled high around the lower half of her face and the files pressed flat against her chest as she crossed her arms to keep out some of the biting wind-chill.

Thinking back to her conversation with Yumiko, she shook her head dismissively as she walked. Yumiko seemed to think it a great tragedy that she was alone this Christmas, but Sakura wasn’t nearly as down about it as the older woman was on her behalf. She hadn’t done the whole big Christmas thing since her parents were alive, and for the last few years she had just quietly passed the holiday with a few friends and a minor exchange of gifts.

The only thing different about this year was that none of those friends were available as they had been before. Naruto was spending it with Hinata, and if he was aware she was spending it alone he would insist she join them, but as it was their first Christmas together as newlyweds there was no way she was going to intrude as the third wheel so she had told him she planned to spend it with Ino . But in reality Ino was spending Christmas with Chouji and Shikamaru in Suna, as guests of the Kazekage and – more precisely – his sister. Sai and Tenzou were away on a mission with ANBU, and Sasuke…well, even though they were friends, spending Christmas with him, his wife and their brood of kids would just be…weird, considering everything. That only left one person, and he wasn’t in Konoha either at the moment, so this year she was totally alone on Christmas. She didn’t mind, really, it was only one day out of the year, even if it would be nice to spend with someone she cared about.

She finally reached the entrance to the jounin HQ and pulled open one of the doors, quickly moving inside. A rush of heated air hit the exposed part of her face and she sighed happily as she pulled the scarf down around her neck and her chilled skin began to tingle with renewed warmth.

Sakura had only become a jounin six months ago and didn’t really know her way around the big HQ building yet, but she found the night reception desk a ways down the long dimly lit corridor without too much difficulty. She stopped before the counter and looked at the receptionist, who tore her eyes away from the novel in her hand and fixed her with a look of immense boredom.

Several seconds passed, and eventually it was clear to Sakura that this oh-so-put-upon secretary was merely going to sit there and stare expectantly at her until she stated her business. She pursed her lips in slight annoyance and held the manila folders out to the other woman. “These are from the hospital,” she said shortly.

The receptionist slowly reached out and took the folders from her hand. “The medical release forms?” she asked in a tone of supreme disinterest.

Sakura belatedly realized that she didn’t know what was in the folders because she hadn’t bothered to look or ask Yumiko, so she remained silent in hopes that it would look as if she was simply returning the secretary’s anti-socialness. It had been a long day and she wasn’t in the mood to deal with rude people.

The other woman emitted a long-suffering sigh and rolled her eyes as she opened the top folder and looked for herself. After a moment she looked back up at Sakura, “Fine, I’ll take care of these. Was there anything else?”

“Nope,” she answered, already turning on her heel to leave.

She took two steps and stopped in her tracks as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and looked down the hall toward the entrance to see a tall figure ambling toward her. She couldn’t see his face behind the orange book he held in front of him as he walked, but just his familiar lanky gait and shock of spiky silver hair over the top of the book were enough to do funny things to her insides. She willed the flutter in her stomach to cease and tried to look casual as he approached, no doubt heading for the same reception desk she was standing at.

Seconds ticked by as her former sensei drew nearer at his usual unhurried pace. Of course he knew she was standing there, but Kakashi always did things his own way and at his own pace or not at all, so she busied herself with looking busy and not like she was waiting for him.

Finally, he drew up to the counter and stopped. “Yo,” he said in greeting, lowering his book and giving her a patented eye-crinkle.

“Hey, Kakashi. When did you get back from your mission?” she asked. She noticed that the bored receptionist had visibly straightened at the older jounin’s arrival.

“Just a few minutes ago. I see Tsunade-sama in the morning, so I stopped by to pick up the mission report forms on my way home,” he explained, turning his one-eyed gaze to the receptionist at the last words.

The girl simply stared back at him with an almost dreamy expression, until she realized that he had just mentioned what he was there for and was waiting. She nodded and quickly sprung from her chair toward a filing cabinet on the far side of the reception area, far too eagerly for someone who, five minutes ago, looked like they had just awoken from a coma.

Sakura rolled her eyes with a soft snort.

“So what brings you over here this late, Sakura-chan?”

She quickly looked back to her former sensei, who was now leaning with his elbows on the countertop, his visible dark eye fixed intently on her. “Oh, I was just dropping some files off from the hospital on my way home,” she replied casually.

Kakashi’s eye roamed over to the small stack of manila folders on the desk, “Ah.” His gaze met hers once again, then flicked down to the envelopes in her hand. “What are those then, love letters?”

Sakura’s eyes widened a fraction, but then she followed his gaze and gave a soft laugh. “These? No, these are just some thank you cards from patients.”

Now his eye widened, and years of experience with the expressions that one eye made told her he was surprised and amused by her words. “What? What’s so strange about that?”

“Why is it strange? Well, how should I put this…your bedside manner isn’t exactly something to brag about, Sakura,” he said with a hint of teasing.

She glared indignantly at the silver haired man, but a smile graced her lips as she swatted him on the shoulder with the cards. “Only towards you and the other two, because your combined idiocy and stubbornness drive me to wit’s end.”

Kakashi chuckled quietly at her playful ire. “Are you sure it isn’t because you have a soft spot for your teammates?”

She rolled her eyes in mild exasperation. “That too, though sometimes I can’t for the life of me figure out why…” she said, but her lips still held an amused smirk. “Anyways, thank you cards are much more believable than love letters of all things…I don’t know what gave you that idea…”

Kakashi simply fixed her with that same piercing stare. Unreadable as it was, it somehow brought a slight heat to her cheeks and made her belly do an annoying little flip-flop. It really needed to stop doing that! Time to change the subject… “Speaking of patients…you’re not injured are you?”

“Nope. The mission was a piece of cake.”

Sakura’s eyes narrowed. “Most month-long missions are not pieces of cake, Kakashi…”

“Ah, see, but it only took me three weeks, so there’s your proof it really was,” he countered with a shrug. “I’m fine, Sakura, no need to worry,” he finished with a playful ruffle of her hair.

She swatted his hand away and fixed him with a suspicious glare. “If I find out you’re lying to me I’ll kick your ass.”

“If I were injured and hiding it from you, wouldn’t injuring me further only make things worse?”

“I’ll still do it. Ask Naruto,” she replied with a smug smirk.

Another quiet chuckle from the Copy Ninja, and a moment later he straightened up off the counter when the receptionist came back and handed him the blank mission report forms.

“Here you go. Did you need anything else, Hatake-senpai?” the receptionist asked cheerfully with a simpering smile.

Sakura rolled her eyes again, not bothering to hide it.

“No, this is it, thanks,” he replied evenly as he turned away. He purposely slowed as he passed Sakura and inclined his head over his shoulder in a way that indicated she was welcome to follow.

She fell into step beside him, ignoring the jealous glare at her back. They were halfway to the exit before she spoke up on a thought she’d been pondering, “So, since you finished your mission early, that means you’ll be in the village for Christmas?”

His head tilted slightly as if the thought had just occurred to him as well. “It does.”

Another moment passed as they walked toward the exit at a leisurely pace, neither one relishing the thought of going out into the cold again, and at least in Sakura’s case, not wanting the conversation to end just yet. “So do you have any plans? For Christmas I mean. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve you know…”

He glanced at her briefly and gave a small nod. “I know what day it is, Sakura,” he said, smirking beneath his mask at the exasperated pursing of her lips. “But no plans.”

“Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn’t since you weren’t even expecting to be here,” she said in belated realization. Inner Sakura suddenly began to jump up and down with arms waving in the background of her mind, trying to get her attention.

Kakashi shrugged. “That, and the holidays aren’t really my thing. The only plans I have are to sleep for the next two weeks and enjoy some good, quiet reading time.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “So you actually want to spend Christmas alone?”

“Doesn’t bother me, and it wouldn’t be the first time,” he said indifferently.

That almost stopped her in her tracks, but if he noticed the sad, guilty look on her face he didn’t react to it. Since her parents died, she had always gone around and given small gifts to her friends before Christmas, including Kakashi, and the day itself had always been spent with one or more of them at their homes or hers. But Kakashi had never been there. She, Naruto and Sai and Sasuke had always assumed he hung out with his older jounin friends or something, and she never thought to realize that her former sensei may have spent all those Christmases alone. He really wasn’t the overly-social type and he probably really didn’t mind, but she still felt awful in retrospect.

She watched his masked profile as they walked, silently debating and mustering the courage to voice her thoughts. “That’s terrible, Kakashi…” He shrugged again, and she took a deep breath, “Why don’t you spend Christmas with me?” she asked as casually as possible.

The silver haired man slowed and came to a stop, though whether it was out of shock or because they had just reached the exit, she wasn’t sure. He stared at her with a wide dark eye for a long moment, but then his expression relaxed into that familiar eye-crinkling smile. “That’s very considerate of you, Sakura-chan, but I’m sure you already have lots of festive things planned, and I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Translation for those who knew the Copy Ninja as well as Sakura did: Large groups of people making merry and spreading cheer - no way in hell.

She shook her head. “Actually I don’t have anything planned this year either.”

His eye widened again, and this time the surprise was very evident. “Really? I figured you’d be spending the day with Naruto or something…”

“He’s spending it with Hinata, and being a third wheel while fighting my gag-reflex at their lovesick canoodling all day isn’t exactly my idea of a fun time. And everyone else is either out of the village or spending time with their families and significant others, so I’m all by myself this year.”

Kakashi didn’t comment further, but continued to watch her with an appraising look. She flashed him another bright smile. “But if I’m alone and you’re alone, then we could be alone together, and then we wouldn’t be alone, right?” she said cheerfully.

Kakashi’s expression went strangely blank, and after a second she realized what her words had just sounded like. “Er…for Christmas,” she added quickly, her heart doing a peculiar thump in her chest. Idiot!

There was another long pause before he spoke again, “I don’t know, Sakura…I’m sure something will come up at the last minute with one of your friends, and I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated,” he said hesitantly.

Her brows creased incredulously. “In the next twenty-four hours? I doubt that. Besides, now that I know you were going to spend Christmas alone I’m not giving in,” she said playfully, trying to lighten the strange air that had formed around them.

He didn’t reply, and another long moment stretched as she gazed hopefully at him. She bit her lip nervously, and then emitted a sigh before giving it one last shot, “Come on, Kakashi… there’s no sense in us both being alone on Christmas when we could spend it together. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, we can just hang out. At least come over tomorrow for Christmas Eve. I’ll even make you dinner!” she added brightly.

He stared at her in indecision, but the thought of a decent home cooked meal was creeping into his subconscious and steadily weakening his will. And although he really didn’t mind it himself, the thought of Sakura being alone on Christmas wasn’t sitting well with him at all. He let out a resigned sigh, “Alright, Sakura. But just dinner, nothing fancy. And no gifts,” he said pointedly.

Her smile widened and she beamed happily at him. “Deal! I wouldn’t know what to get a perv like you anyway; you obviously don’t know how to use a watch, and you already have every Icha Icha book in existence,” she teased, remembering previous gifts she and her teammates had gotten their team leader. He huffed softly in amusement. “Six sound ok?” she asked, knowing he wouldn’t show up until at least an hour after that.

He gave her a small nod and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Sure.”

“Ok Great!” she said casually, trying not to show how secretly thrilled she was. “I should get home before the temperature drops any further,” she added, pulling her coat tight around her body as she prepared for the bite of winter once more. “See you tomorrow then, and try not to be too late, ok? Night, Kakashi!”

He lifted a hand out of his pocket to give her a friendly wave. “Night, Sakura,” he said, his lone dark eye following her as she left the building.

She exited through the door and quickly pulled her scarf over her face to block the cold rush of wind, and also to mask the silly grin on her features. Inner Sakura was dancing in circles, and Sakura’s gleeful squeal of delight was carried away by the wind as she began the walk toward home.

---

When Sakura spontaneously invited her team leader over for Christmas Eve dinner, she hadn’t stopped to think about all the things the impromptu decision left for her to do in one short day. She was normally a very busy person, working long hours at the hospital and also going on missions with her team, so she was rarely home. Because she never had time to cook, she didn’t have a very impressive supply of food in the house, and she’d had to get up way earlier than she wanted to on her first day off in months to go to the market before it closed for the holiday.

The rest of her morning had been spent with the dust covered cookbook of her mother’s that she dug out of one of the kitchen cabinets the night before, trying to figure out how to cook the roast she’d bought and what to serve with it. With meticulous effort usually only awarded to her medical techniques, she finished the pre-cook preparations and then set to cleaning.

The house her parents had left her was rather small and cozy, but still bigger than a single person needed and since she was in it next to never, things had a tendency to collect dust. It had taken all of late morning and part of early afternoon to dust, mop, vacuum, and tidy up to a level she was happy with.

Dinner had gone in the oven an hour ago, and she had just finished up the last of the laundry. Now she stepped into the steaming shower and ran her head under the water with a satisfied sigh. The roast had another hour and she had just enough time to shower and get ready before starting the vegetables and rice. She was proud of herself. Everything was going perfectly. She knew she didn’t need to go to all this effort for Kakashi, because he probably wouldn’t notice or care if her house was clean or not, or if her medical scrolls and notebooks and even some dirty clothes were strewn all over the place. And he had told her not to do anything too fancy or involved on his account, but she stubbornly wanted everything to be perfect. He had never been in her house before, and she wanted to make a good impression on her former sensei.

That, and because…well, honestly…she had it bad.

Really bad. So bad, that she couldn’t seem to stop those stupid butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw him. And those occasional heart palpitations couldn’t be healthy. It was ridiculous. She was a grown woman, not some silly preteen. She had known Kakashi for years, almost half her life now; he had seen her at her very best and her very worst, more than a few times. But ever since she realized how her feelings for him had shifted and evolved over time, she couldn’t be near him without getting those funny little twitters inside. And the dirty thoughts…oh the dirty, corrupted thoughts. Damn her teammates for turning her into a pervert!

It all started around eight months ago, when she had decided it was about damn time she became a jounin and went to Kakashi for help with training for the upcoming exams. He had agreed, no doubt with a little push from Tsunade, who wanted Sakura to succeed but as Hokage wasn’t able to give her apprentice her undivided attention. Kakashi was a hardass when it came to training, she knew that already. But when it concerned something as serious and difficult as the jounin exams, he was an outright tyrant. Sakura hadn’t known what would come first; her death from all the strain, or the Copy Ninja’s at her hands. But aside from the blood, sweat, and tears he inflicted upon her, she had enjoyed spending time with him and they had reinforced their friendship a lot during those intense sessions last summer.

All of their hard work paid off and she made jounin with relative ease. She was immensely proud of herself, but it meant even more to know that Kakashi was proud of her as well. The training was over, but their new deeper friendship had continued, and they even hung out a few times afterward.

Then last September, Kakashi had celebrated his thirty-fifth birthday. Or rather, he had been forced to celebrate it because all of his friends and teammates threw a huge party and dragged him there. That was the night when she realized the way she saw and thought of Kakashi had changed again. The first time, the transition had been from sensei and much older authority figure, to the more equal standing of teammate and eventually friend. But this time the change was a bit more drastic, and much more surprising to the pink haired kunoichi.

That night she realized that as they had gotten closer over the course of her grueling training, at some point, she had come to see him as a man. A very attractive one. How did she know he was attractive when she hadn’t seen his face? She just did, that’s all. Call it women’s intuition. That, and all the times she’d seen him in various stages of undress as she healed his injuries. Besides, sex appeal was something in the way a person carried themselves, it came from within, and didn’t matter what a person was wearing or how much of their body they covered. And in Sakura’s recently discovered opinion, Kakashi radiated it.

She didn’t remember much of that night three months ago, as the details were fuzzy from several beers too many, but she did remember having this epiphany while sitting next to him on the couch at Genma’s house. She didn’t remember anything at all after that point, and she had completely forgotten about it by the next morning when she woke up in her own bed – alone and fully clothed, thankfully. Forgotten, that was, until she had run into him later that day at the grocery store. What was so incredibly appealing about a man pondering which brand of orange juice to buy, she didn’t know. But there they were, talking normally, when she suddenly remembered the previous night’s realization and the butterflies had attacked her.

They hadn’t left her alone since. Any time she saw him across a room, or when he was standing next to her, and especially when he looked at her for any length of time. Kakashi had this way of looking at people like they were the only person in the room, and that could be a very good or very bad thing depending on who he was looking at and why. And lately, when he focused on her like that, she got all wibbly inside. This crush, if you could even call it that, was ridiculous. It was stupid, the way it – he – affected her so. It was Kakashi, she had known him practically forever.

But maybe that was the problem. It was certainly why she hadn’t told anyone. Not even Ino knew she lusted after the Copy Ninja. But it wasn’t just that she lusted after him. He wasn’t just some hunky piece of man-candy. It was a lot more than that and she fully knew it. It was Kakashiand her newly discovered feelings scared the hell out of her.

She knew what entanglements like that could do to friends and teammates if things didn’t work out. And besides, Kakashi was almost certainly not interested in her like that, and she definitely remembered what chasing after an uninterested teammate was like. She was not going there again. She had no intention of telling her silver haired team leader how she really felt about him, and was simply hoping her crush would die or at least simmer down to a tolerable level where she could eventually lock it away and have things go back to normal between them.

So then why did she impulsively invite him over to her house for Christmas Eve? Because he was her friend, her teammate, and a person she had always looked up to and respected. Because he was alone on Christmas, like she was, and truthfully she felt a little guilty for not thinking of him in years previous when he had probably been alone then too. And because despite her reasoning, she wanted to spend more time with him, although there was a good chance it would only make her problem worse.

Sakura was startled out of her thoughts as a loud piercing beeping invaded her ears, and she realized with alarm that it was her smoke detector going off in the hallway. “Shit!” she grumbled as she hastily exited the shower, conditioner still in her hair, and dripped water all over the floor as she scrambled to wrap a towel around herself and rush out of the bathroom.

“Shit, shit, shit!” she exclaimed as she ran into her kitchen and was greeted by a fog of heavy smoke and a sickening stench. She opened the oven door and another cloud of smoke billowed out in her face, causing her to hack and squint as she reached for the oven mitts.

“Noooo…!” she whined as she lifted the pan containing a blackened, shriveled lump of char that had once been a beautiful roast out of the oven and set it on the stovetop. Her towel fell off in the process and she had no free hands to catch it with. It was the least of her concerns anyway, and she stood naked in her kitchen with mitted hands on hips as she looked miserably upon what was supposed to be her perfect Christmas Eve dinner. “Why, damn it! Why?” she cursed loudly at any forces watching.

The only answer was the continuous shrill blaring of the smoke alarm in her ears, and with another angry grumble she grabbed her fallen towel from the floor and moved back to the hallway to fan it into silence. Alarm neutralized, she stomped back into the kitchen and glared once again at her ruined dinner while re-wrapping the towel around herself. It was supposed to have another hour, damn it! She hadn’t been in the shower that long had she? She turned around to look at the open recipe book on the counter and read over the instructions again. Her eyes scanned over a particular line and widened. Her head snapped around to look at the oven and then her mouth fell open in dismay. Cook at 350 degrees for two hours. The dial on the stovetop was set to 450…

“Aww...fucking HELL!”

How could she have been so stupid?! She had made sure to carefully follow every last detail…But somehow she had overlooked one crucial thing and now her perfect dinner was ruined. Dead. Unsalvageable. She sighed despondently, plopped down on the stool near the island counter and glanced at the clock on the wall. Six-thirty. Her face fell even further and she laid her head on her arms with a defeated whimper. Kakashi would be here anytime now and she had nothing in the house worth serving as a Christmas meal. All the stores were closed and even if they weren’t, it was too late to start over anyway. And on top of that, her house now smelled like burned meat and smoke. So much for good impressions.

Still grumbling at her own stupidity and blaming the universe for conspiring against her, Sakura got up and opened all the windows to let the out horrible stench before dejectedly heading back to the bathroom to rinse the rapidly clumping conditioner out of her hair.

A few moments later, a loud thud echoed through her home as the tiled wall of the shower cracked under her fist, followed by a piercing yowl of frustration as the pink haired kunoichi discovered that the hot water had run out.

---

The streets were practically empty and an almost eerie stillness had fallen as Christmas Eve settled over Konoha. The stores were all closed and everyone was inside with their families where it was warm and cozy.

Everyone except for the Copy Ninja, who was definitely not warm and cozy as he made his way to his former student’s house. He could be lounging on his worn but remarkably comfy sofa reading Icha Icha right now, but instead here he was walking through icy winds and arctic temperatures.

He still wasn’t entirely sure why he had agreed to join Sakura for Christmas Eve. He honestly didn’t care one way or another about the holidays, and hadn’t since he was a young child when both of his parents were alive. But somehow it just didn’t seem right that someone as bright and kind-hearted as Sakura was alone during a time when people should be with loved ones.

It surprised him that she had no one to spend the holiday with. She had no family but had many friends, and he would have thought a string of adoring boyfriends as well. He knew she worked too hard, anyone who knew her well could see that, and although she remained close to her inner circle she never branched out to make new connections, so maybe it wasn’t that strange that she didn’t have a man in her life after all. Or maybe she still wasn’t over Sasuke. Since they had broken up, she hadn’t dated anyone as far as he knew and she had almost completely immersed herself in her work, then added even more onto her plate by becoming a jounin. The Uchiha had moved on, but maybe Sakura hadn’t.

But the biggest reason he had accepted her invitation was probably because he was a sucker for that pouty-lip thing she did when she didn’t think she was going to get her way. He had always had a bit of a soft spot for his only female teammate, but neither he nor any of her other teammates could ever resist that pout. That, and she had mercilessly given him The Eyes. Those big, devastatingly green eyes that could break the will of even the hardest men. How was it that women instinctively knew how to do that from a young age? He doubted Sakura even knew how she affected the men around her; she was just naturally charming and alluring, not to mention she had grown into a remarkably strong and beautiful woman. That’s why it was such a shame that she was all alone on Christmas. Only the jaded and world-weary like him should be alone, so he had agreed to keep her company, as little as his company counted for.

Agreeing to this was probably a huge mistake on his part, as spending time alone with Sakura in her house was sure to only make it harder for him to maintain a respectful distance and keep things on a friendly level between himself and the kunoichi who had recently wormed her way beneath his skin. But he could never say no to her, not in any real sense, and so he burrowed his face further under the scarf covering his masked nose and sighed, continuing on his way to Sakura’s home while trying not to think about how royally, hopelessly screwed he was.

---

When Kakashi knocked on Sakura’s door at seven-fifteen, he had expected to be greeted with a bright, warm smile and the smell of dinner cooking, and a tiny part of him maybe even hoped for a hug from the generously affectionate girl.

Therefore he was more than a little surprised when the door opened after a long pause to reveal an obviously unhappy and highly disgruntled Sakura, who didn’t smile or hug or even say hello, merely held the door open and beckoned him inside.

“Why is it so cold in here? Is your heater broken?” he asked as he hesitantly removed his scarf and coat while eyeing the pink haired woman.

Sakura took in his appearance without noticeably ogling, admiring the fit of his dark grey sweater over his lean muscles. He still wore the black singlet with attached mask underneath, and she recognized his black pants as standard jounin issue simply untucked and let fall over his boots, but he still looked damn good.

She took the coat and scarf from his hand to hang on a hook behind the door. “I had all the windows open until a few minutes ago,” she muttered peevishly.

Without his hitai-ate she could see his brows crease incredulously. “Why? Are you trying to get sick?”

She fixed him with an exasperated glare. “Yes, Kakashi, I’m trying to get sick.” He simply held her gaze with a blank stare, and after a moment she sighed heavily and walked back into the living area, grumbling over her shoulder as she went; “Look in the kitchen and see for yourself.”

Wary yet curious, he slipped out of his boots and followed her through the living room toward the open kitchen at the far end. As he approached he caught sight of the metal oven pan on the stovetop and something black and unrecognizable inside. “I see…” he said quietly, stopping before the unidentified object that his keen nose detected would have been quite delicious, had she not burnt it to a crisp. He poked at it with a finger and heard a dull crunch. “What happened?”

“I killed it,” she grunted, then crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

Kakashi’s eyes crinkled mirthfully, but it was due more to the adorable purse to her full pink lips than because she had ruined dinner, although that was pretty amusing as well.

They stared at the blackened lump for a moment, one depressed, the other amused, and then Sakura emitted a heavy sigh and gave him a plaintive look. “I’m sorry, Kakashi. I thought I had done everything exactly according to the instructions…I planned on making you a great Christmas dinner and I really wanted everything to be perfect. But I guess I’m just horribly un-domestic…” she said miserably.

Kakashi smiled at the unhappy girl, genuinely touched that she had tried to go to so much effort for him, even if he had asked her not to. “It’s alright, Sakura. You’re a kunoichi; your strengths and skills lie elsewhere, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re also a brilliant medic. You can’t be good at everything, you know,” he finished, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The corners of her lips curled slightly, but she gave him a baleful look. “You are.”

“You’d be surprised. I can’t cook either, and I’m terrible at fixing anything electronic because of the nature of my chakra.”

She looked up at that, and a small smile formed on her features. “Have you ever electrocuted yourself?”

“Almost. Twice.”

She laughed softly and shook her head, but then her defeated expression returned, though not angry like before. “Sorry I ruined our dinner,” she said again.

He gave a small chuckle. “It’s only food. Don’t be upset about it. I’m not.”

Her features softened and she gave him a grateful smile. “Well, I don’t know what were going to do now,” she said with a small, bleak laugh, looking around her kitchen. “All the stores are closed and I don’t have much worth cooking.”

“I’m sure whatever you have will be fine.”

“Instant ramen,” was Sakura’s answer as she held open her pathetically bare cupboard and scanned its contents.

“Ehh…” Kakashi scratched the back of his head and tried not to look too put-off. He already had to eat more ramen than he could stand as it was, with Naruto dragging him to Ichiraku once or twice a week.

“Sorry. I planned to go shopping the day after tomorrow. I’m just never home to cook so…”

“No worries. Ramen is…fine?” was his rather unconvincing reply.

“No, it’s really not…why do you think it’s the only thing I have left?” she said with a short laugh. “These are only here because Naruto likes to keep a stash at both mine and Sasuke’s houses.”

She hoisted herself up on the countertop to look higher. Kakashi chuckled under his breath at her being too short to see the top shelf, but mostly he just enjoyed the view of her backside as she squirmed and rummaged through her small pantry. He always liked it when she wore pants instead of her shorts and medical skirt, because he could see the full outline of her firm, shapely rear. Not that he would ever admit this out loud, and he would die before he got caught looking, so he made sure to train his eyes back to her face as she finished her search and hopped down.

“Nothing but old, dusty cans of peas and carrots, I’m afraid. Oh wait!” she exclaimed, rushing over to another cabinet and pulling it open. “I also have some granola bars, and some homemade cookies that Hinata sent over the other day…”

“What kind of cookies?” he asked, though it really didn’t matter because anything was better than ramen.

“Chocolate chip.”

“Perfect.”

She grinned brightly at him. “You know, Hinata is a kunoichi too, and she’s an excellent cook…I don’t know why I can’t do both,” she mused sourly, but all signs of her earlier depression seemed to have dissipated.

“Well, you are a much stronger kunoichi than she is, so I guess it balances out. I think you’re more suited to being the way you are and you shouldn’t try to change that, even if you are a terrible cook,” he said teasingly, and she gave him a playful glare as she pulled a large plastic container of cookies out of the cabinet. “You wouldn’t be the Sakura-chan we all know and love if you were any other way.”

A heated blush spread over her cheeks and she quickly looked away. Why did he have to say things like that? It only made her like him more and it was not helping her little ‘problem’. She turned her back to him as she reached for a plate in another cupboard. “Thanks, Kakashi. Hey, could you go start a fire while I get this ready and fix us some drinks?” she asked casually, willing the redness from her face.

“Sure.” He made his way into the living room as she began pulling more dishes out.

A few logs and a few hand seals later, there was a small, cozy fire in the old fireplace that was rapidly spreading warmth throughout the chilly house. Sakura entered a few minutes later holding a plate of cookies on one hand, and a thermos under the other arm with two mugs dangling from her fingers.

Kakashi was seated on the sofa, but Sakura sat down on the floor with her back against the seat cushions and motioned him to join her. “I don’t have a coffee table right now because Naruto and Kiba broke it in a wrestling match a few weeks ago. I’m making them pay for it, so it might be a while before I finally get a new one,” she explained with a dry smirk.

The silver haired man huffed in amusement as he lowered himself to the floor and stretched his legs out. “No decorations?” he asked, glancing around the room.

She shook her head. “Not this year. I wasn’t expecting to have anyone over, so…”

“Ah. What’s that?” he indicated the thermos Sakura was removing the cap from.

“Hot cocoa,” she replied, giving him a small smile. “You like hot cocoa, right?”

“Who doesn’t?” he said, taking the offered mug from her hand and bringing it under his nose. He blinked sharply and pulled his nose away. “What else is in this?”

She chuckled at his scrunched up face. “Cinnamon and spiced rum. Try it.” She obligingly looked away as he did, and heard him murmur pleasurably against the rim of the mug.

“Mmm. This is really good.”

“It was my mom’s recipe. She always said it was perfect for cold winter nights spent with good friends,” she said warmly.

He met her gaze and gave her a warm eye-crinkling smile as he reached for a cookie from the plate between them. Sakura took a cookie as well, and they sat quietly watching the fire and sipping cocoa. Several minutes passed comfortably before either felt inclined to speak again.

“See, this isn’t so bad, right? If you ask me, this is a better way to spend Christmas Eve than slaving to make a huge meal and then doing dishes all night,” Kakashi said affably, taking another cookie.

Sakura smiled sweetly at her silver haired team leader. “Yeah…this is nice,” she agreed softly. Shifting sideways a little and leaning her head against the seat cushion, she looked up at his masked profile. “I’m glad you came over tonight, Kakashi. Especially since we haven’t really talked or hung out in over a month.”

He glanced down at her with a mildly disturbed expression. “Well, in my defense, I have been gone on a mission for the last three weeks…”

“I know, but I still missed you. I like spending time with you.” She felt a blush spread over her cheeks the moment the words passed her lips. That may have been a little too much to say, but she just felt like saying it. The alcohol was making her feel all warm and fuzzy, and so was the intense way he was looking at her again.

“I like spending time with you too, Sakura,” Kakashi admitted quietly. There was something in the way she was looking at him, jade eyes glinting in the light of the fire, which tugged at some deeper instinct in Kakashi, but he did his best to ignore it. It was just the alcohol and the warmth from the fire making him think like that. That and how pretty she looked in the flickering light and that soft-looking sweater that matched her eyes. He brushed those thoughts aside and, despite his better judgment, decided it was time for another mug of that spiced cocoa.

He poured himself another cup from the thermos, and gestured to Sakura in a silent offer to do the same for her. She gave him her mug with a small smile, and once he refilled it, they sat quietly and watched the fire again.

A few minutes passed, and Sakura stole several glances at her former sensei’s masked profile. The snug dark fabric defined his nose and chin almost perfectly, and she could see his lips move when he talked and smiled. She knew that he was most definitely a very good-looking man, barring some hidden deformity that couldn’t be seen. But she realized that she wouldn’t even mind if there were. She wished she could see him smile just once without the mask.

“Kakashi…?”

He glanced down at her. “Hmm?”

“I know we agreed on no gifts, but…can I have just one?” she asked quietly.

Kakashi’s eyes widened ever so slightly and he looked at her for a long moment. “What kind of gift…” he replied hesitantly.

“…Will you show me your face?”

She half expected him to laugh, but her brow creased when instead he began looking around the room. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for a hidden camera,” he said, eyes scanning the ceiling.

“Kakashi…”

“Naruto and Sasuke aren’t hiding in the closet, are they?”

“No! Jeez, Kakashi, I can’t believe you don’t trust me…” she exclaimed indignantly, reaching out to slap him none too lightly on the arm.

He absently rubbed the sore spot on his bicep. “Well, it’s not like you three haven’t pulled tricks in the past like that.”

“Well not this time. Maybe I’m trying to seduce you…” she said softly, a playful smile curling her lips.

The Copy Ninja’s eyes widened even further and he stared at the pink haired woman with his mouth slightly agape. Did she really just say that…?

Sakura held his gaze for a moment longer before bursting into giggles. “I’m only playing with you,” she said, although a warmth had spread through her insides and across her cheeks at the boldness of her own words.

“Uhh…” was about all he could think to say at the moment.

She laughed softly again, finding his flustered state to be rather cute. “I’m not trying to seduce you, Kakashi,” she said with a placating expression, “But I’ve known you almost…ten years now, and I really just want to know what you look like. Please? I promise I won’t laugh.”

He gave her a small frown. “What makes you think there’s something to laugh at?”

She shook her head mirthfully. “I don’t. But I do have my theories, and I’d like to see if I’m right. I won’t tell the boys, or anyone else. I promise it will stay between us.”

There they were again. The Eyes. And the effect was doubled by the glow of the firelight and the rosy flush on her features. And…he did trust her, more than just about anyone still living…He sighed, “Alright.” He reached up and hooked a finger under the thin fabric –

“Wait!”

He paused just as the mask reached the end of his nose and looked curiously at the wide eyed girl.

“Can I do it?” she asked in a small, almost awed voice.

Kakashi stared at her for a long moment, and then lowered his hand from his face in answer.

The corners of her lips curled as she moved the nearly empty plate of cookies out of the way and crawled closer to him. Kakashi couldn’t help but smirk, because she looked almost exactly like…a kid on Christmas.

But then his face went blank and he tried not to let his eyes widen as she practically crawled into his lap, bracing one knee on either side of his outstretched leg, half straddling him as she positioned herself directly before him. She smelled divine, and so he promptly stopped breathing.

Sakura was so close to him that she could feel his body heat, somehow more noticeable than the heat of the fire on her back. This wasn’t exactly what she planned to do, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable with her proximity and made no move to counter her, and she felt this strange, almost magnetic pull to be nearer to him than she originally intended.

She slowly raised her hands to touch the sides of his face and his eyes flinched ever so slightly at the soft contact. But she didn’t see it; her gaze was intently set on the mask. Her fingertips slipped under the edge of the thin fabric and after a moment’s pause, slowly began to pull it down. Centimeter by centimeter his face was revealed, and her large eyes drank in every single detail. She softly pulled her lower lip between her teeth in an expression of rapt focus. It was perfect, better than she had imagined. Fine features that still held a slightly rugged edge, even, well-formed lips that fit his face just right, and he even had a tiny freckle on his cheek. He hadn’t shaved today, and faint silver-grey stubble lined his chin and masculine jaw. After a long moment, her green eyes finally trailed up to meet his mismatched ones and she gave him a soft smile.

Kakashi’s throat had suddenly gone very dry, but he swallowed hard and managed to croak out, “How’s that theory holding up?”

Her eyes flicked down to his mouth, fascinated by the way his lips moved when he talked. Then her smile widened into a grin and she moved back a little, to better take in the whole picture. “I was right,” she said softly, “Kakashi…you’re beautiful!”

He emitted a soft huff of laughter. “Uh…thanks?” He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to being called beautiful, but Sakura was openly gawking at him, and she seemed to like what she saw. He couldn’t help but be pleased by that.

“It’s true; you’re a hunk,” she said playfully.

He smiled a little self-consciously at her words. There were a few reasons he wore a mask, and the unwanted attention about his looks was one of them.

“Kakashi…are you blushing?”

“…No…”

“You are!”

“No, I’m not.”

“See? There and there,” she teased, touching her fingertips to the slight pink tinge on either cheek.

“It’s the rum.”

“Nooo…Admit it; you’re blushing.”

“So are you.”

Sakura paused and pulled her hands away from his face. He was right, their proximity and other things had brought a heated flush to her cheeks as well. Suddenly feeling self-conscious and a little too forward for her liking, she backed off of him and sat down in her original position at his side. “It’s the rum.”

“I see…” He picked up his mug and took a long drink.

“Anyway…thank you, Kakashi,” she said quietly after a moment.

“Sure. Now stop staring at me like that or the mask goes back up,” he smirked.

That smirk nearly melted her on the spot, but she managed to hide it. “Okay…” she sighed, and smiled at him again before reaching for one of the last remaining cookies. Despite her promise to stop staring, she couldn’t help but steal glances at him. “The boys would die if they knew…” she muttered against the rim of her mug.

“Knew what?” Kakashi asked with a wary sidelong glance.

She smiled slyly. “That you’re better looking than all three of them.”

He gave a soft snort. “Riiight. Sasuke is pretty enough to win the Miss Konoha pageant, and Sai isn’t far behind,” he retorted.

Sakura giggled softly at the mental image. “Well, I think so anyway.” She was surprised at the boldness of her words again, but the alcohol was giving her courage, and if he didn’t seem put-off by it, she may as well run with it.

He stared at her uncertainly. That was strange to hear coming from her, considering she had spent a good portion of her life pining for Sasuke and had even been romantically involved with him for half a year. Was she flirting with him? He couldn’t deny that he liked the idea. But she was probably just being playful like normal, and he didn’t like the direction his less than sober mind kept taking him.

“So why were you going to be alone on Christmas, Kakashi? Aside from the mission, I mean. Don’t you have a…a girlfriend, or something?”

A quiet chuckle escaped his lips and he gave a small shake of his head. “No.”

“Oh. Then…a boyfriend?”

Kakashi laughed outright, and Sakura was fascinated again by his unmasked mouth, noticing even, white teeth with just slightly elongated canines, although not as pronounced as Kiba’s.

“No, Sakura, I don’t swing that way,” he said, still chuckling.

“I didn’t think so, but, you know…” she shrugged, and then gave him a strange look. “What’s so funny anyway?”

“Nothing,” he murmured against his mug before taking a drink, amusement still evident on his features.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?”

Kakashi choked and nearly spit his cocoa across the room. His eyes went wide and he began to cough as the burning effects of the alcohol went down the wrong pipe. Sakura quickly leaned over and began to pat him on the back while laughing at his startled reaction.

A minute later the silver haired man had calmed down enough to breathe properly and try to form words. “Sakura what’s with these questions?” he croaked.

She removed her hand from his back and reached to grab the oversized blanket across the back of the couch, wrapping it around her shoulders before sitting down. “I don’t know…I was just trying to learn more about you,” she said amicably. “I mean, I’ve known you like…forever, but you’re still so mysterious.”

“Don’t you think ‘what’s your favorite color?’ would have been a better place to start?” he reproved, finally sitting back against the sofa once more.

Her arm brushed against his as she shrugged. “Ok, well, what is it then?”

He turned his head and met her gaze, and a long moment passed before he said, “Green.”

Something about the way he said it, so quietly, and he was giving her that look again…she felt the butterflies stir up and a warm feeling spread through her body. It was just a simple answer to a simple question, right? Maybe she should slow down on the spiced cocoa…

After another moment Kakashi’s lips curled in a smirk. “Well, if you get to ask personal questions then so do I…so why don’t you have a significant other to spend Christmas Eve with?”

Sakura laughed quietly. “Me with a boyfriend? Now that’s funny.”

“Why?”

“Do you know how much free time I have? None. I don’t have time to meet anyone, let alone go on dates…unless I could find a guy willing to skip all that and just move right in so I could at least see him for a few minutes before I pass out from exhaustion every night.”

“You push yourself too hard,” he said quietly.

“I know, I know. I just can’t help it; I want to do my best all the time and I just get so caught up in my work…” She shook her head a little and sighed, “And besides that, there aren’t any guys interested in me.”

Kakashi’s brows rose minutely. “Now that can’t possibly be true.”

She smiled wistfully. “It is. Tsunade-sama says I can be a little intimidating to most guys, and I guess she has a point. And if they’re not intimidated by me then they’re scared of the Three Idiots and probably you too…” she gave him a playful glare.

He tried not to look smug.

She sighed again before continuing, “Also, I guess most guys aren’t interested in a girl whose priorities aren’t focused on settling down and becoming a housewife.”

“I think you’d be surprised to know how many men prefer a strong, independent woman with her own goals, Sakura. Most especially among shinobi, who want a woman who understands their chosen lifestyle.”

“Not all shinobi,” she said cynically.

He nodded in understanding of where those thoughts stemmed from. “Is that what happened with Sasuke?” he asked quietly.

She searched his eyes for a moment, and then gave a small nod. “Partly. He’s been married four years now and already has three kids… I want more out of life than to become a one-woman baby factory. I always knew what he wanted, and I thought I could give it to him, but I just couldn’t do it, and I’m glad I figured it out before it was too late.”

Kakashi nodded again, but remained silent as it was clear she had more to say.

“But that wasn’t the only reason. We just weren’t right for each other. There was no chemistry; we had to work too hard at it, and eventually I realized that while I do love him, it’s not the kind of love I thought it was, and we agreed that it wasn’t going to work. I’m glad we came out of it as friends, and I’m happy that he’s finally happy,” she finished with a small smile.

“And in the five years since then you haven’t been involved with anyone?” he asked with mild incredulity.

She shook her head and gave him a wry smirk. “Nope.”

He gave her that eye-crinkling smile, sans mask. “Well, don’t worry; you’ll find the right guy someday.”

Her smile became slightly melancholy. “I think I already have, and that’s the problem,” she murmured quietly.

His mismatched eyes focused sharply on hers. “So you are interested in someone…but why is it a problem?”

Her eyes widened slightly and she took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she was about to go into this, and she would probably regret it later, but she just couldn’t seem to stop now. “Because he’s the one guy I can’t have,’ she sighed.

“He’s married?”

She frowned. “No.”

“Gay?”

“No!” she laughed.

“Doesn’t know you exist?” For some reason he suddenly wanted to find out who this mystery guy was…and make him disappear.

Sakura sighed heavily and shook her head. “No…he knows I exist. He just doesn’t notice me…in that way. He’s…older, and he must still think of me as a child.”

“Ah, I see…Is it Genma?”

Her brows shot up in surprise. “Why would he be the first person to come to your mind?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Every girl seems to go through a Genma phase.”

She laughed at that. “Well he is damn hot…but no.”

He frowned a little and thought for a moment. “Tenzou?”

She laughed again and cocked her head in thought. “That’s not a bad idea, actually…he’s pretty attractive too, now that I think about it…” she saw him frown again, and her smile widened, “But wrong again.”

Another long pause. “…It’s not Gai, is it?” he asked with a disturbed look.

“Hell no! God, Kakashi, how could you even think that?” She gave him a playful shove in the shoulder.

“Well that’s a relief,” he chuckled. The list of older men Sakura could be interested in was only getting weirder, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore. “I’m sure you’re wrong about him not noticing, Sakura. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Sakura stared into his mismatched eyes for a long moment, feeling all warm and fluttery inside at his words. Was he including himself in that statement? Her heart soared at the possibility, but then why hadn’t he figured out who she was talking about? She didn’t think she’d ever have the guts for this, but if she was ever going to find out…

Her lips curled in a small, ironic smile. “You know, for a supposed genius…you’re a real idiot…”

His brows creased slightly and he stared back at her for a long, confused moment. Then, his eyes widened as it finally dawned on him. “It’s not nice to make jokes like that with an old man like me,” he said with a friendly, and fake, smile.

Sakura didn’t return it. “You’re not old. And I’m not joking,” she said quietly, her jade gaze unwavering.

His smile faltered, but he scratched his hair and tried to laugh it off again. “I think you may have had a bit too much of that cocoa, Sakura-chan,” he chuckled, looking away from her luminous eyes toward the fire.

Her brows pulled down in a frown and she emitted an indignant huff. “I’m not drunk, Kakashi. I meant what I said, and if you’re not okay with that then say so. Don’t treat me like I’m a child!”

His gaze drew back to hers sharply and he turned partly to face her, sighing heavily. “I’m not treating you like a child, Sakura, but you clearly aren’t thinking about this. You don’t know –”

“What I’m talking about?” she cut him off, beginning to grow angry. She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re right, I must be drunk. Because there’s no way I could possibly want a man who I’ve looked up to and respected half my life, who’s saved my life more than once and always been there for me when I needed it most. I must still be a silly little girl who’s too young and stupid to know what she wants, because what woman would want a man who is smart, and funny, and gifted, and loyal and kind and not to mention impossibly gorgeous? No, you’re right, I couldn’t possibly have real feelings for someone like that…” she finished, feeling the heat spread through her cheeks both in anger and at her own boldness.

Kakashi simply stared at her, his normally sharp mind reeling, unable to form words.

Sakura stared back at him, an indignant glare but also a small trace of hope in her jade eyes. But the hope began to dwindle and fade as he merely continued to watch her with that unreadable expression. In place of hope she began to feel embarrassment. He was going to reject her. He would do his best to let her down easily, because that’s just how Kakashi was, but she just knew he was going to crush her. She knew it would turn out like this! How could she be so stupid and let a little liquid courage ruin everything?

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, and very embarrassed, she looked away from his intense gaze and down at her lap. “I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.

“Sakura…”

She pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “It was stupid of me to bring it up. I don’t want to make things any worse so let’s just –”

“Sakura, look at me.”

She shook her head and stubbornly refused to acknowledge the stinging in her eyes. “No, you were right, it’s a bad idea. I didn’t mean to ruin the night with my stupid mouth! And really…I…can you please just forget I said anything? I want us to stay friends and I don’t want things to be weird and I get that you don’t think of me that way and its ok so –”

Her words caught in her throat as Kakashi suddenly leaned forward and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, and their eyes met for one heart-stopping second before he sealed his lips to hers.

Time slowed to a stop, and all of her thoughts vanished as his lips probed against hers, gentle, and yet unmistakably hungry. She couldn’t quite believe this was happening. After all of the fantasies and the secret pining, Kakashi was actually kissing her! And oh, what an amazing kisser he was…Her lips parted and she returned the kiss eagerly, a soft sound escaping her throat as he slanted his mouth more fully against hers and his fingers wove into her hair. She could feel his longing in this perfect kiss, and it filled her with wonder because somehow she had never expected him to return her feelings.

Her hands released the blanket around her shoulders and reached to clasp into his shirt as she felt him pulling away, not wanting him to go. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling back to meet her eyes. She gazed up at him, breathless and awed, and he gave her a small, ironic smirk as his thumb grazed softly over her cheek.

“Believe me, Sakura, I have thought about it,” he rasped.

His smooth, deep tone flowed over her like a caress and she leaned forward ever so slightly. She had never felt a magnetic pull like this before, and without realizing it she licked her lips, remembering the feel and taste of his and wanting more. “You have?” she whispered.

His eyes had trailed to her mouth, some primal part of him stirring at seeing that tiny flash of tongue against her full, soft lips. “Mmhm…too much,” he murmured.

“How long?”

His eyes closed for a moment. “Since your birthday,” he sighed.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Since my – Kakashi, that was almost a year ago!”

He gave a small, dry laugh. “Trust me, I know.”

She was confused, and her fingers tightened against his shirt. “But then…training me over the summer?”

“Pure torture,” he groaned quietly.

Sakura couldn’t help but smile a little at that, but she was still confused. “But then …why didn’t you tell me?”

“Partly for the same reason you didn’t tell me.” He sighed and looked away to the fire again. “And because…you don’t need to be weighed down by someone like me. You should be young and carefree and happy. Because you deserve better,” he said quietly.

Sakura frowned, feeling sad and angry at him at the same time. “I’ll be the judge of what I do and don’t deserve, and who is good enough for me or not, Kakashi. Look at me,” she tugged on his shirt, and after a moment he met her gaze again.

“Sakura…”

She could still hear the hesitation in his voice, so she grasped him tighter and leaned forward. “I’m old enough and I’ve been through enough to know what I want, and what I want is you. More than any man I’ve ever known and I mean that, so stop making excuses and kiss me, damn it.”

He stared at her with a slightly bewildered expression for another moment, before he pulled her against him and crashed his lips to hers in a smoldering kiss. This time it was stronger, but still testing, discovering the other’s taste and feel, absorbing reaction as their lips parted and brushed and sealed together again. His fingers twined tighter into her short hair and his other arm slipped under the blanket to wrap around her waist, fingers splaying against the small of her back, and he pulled her closer with a low groan.

His tongue gently laced the seam of her lips and she parted them with a sigh, hands sliding up his firm chest and around his neck as their tongues met in a sensual dance, the sweetness of chocolate and cinnamon lingering. His tongue swept along hers and worked deeper into her mouth, and she moaned softly as he dominated all of her senses and left her reeling. He leaned into her, and she twisted her fingers into the soft silver hair at the base of his neck as he lowered her to the floor.

His hand moved from beneath her and stroked over her hip and up her side, strong fingers slipping beneath the edge of her sweater to caress the soft skin of her stomach. Sakura mewled and shifted, aligning herself more fully beneath him as her hands slipped from his neck to wander down the hard plane of his chest before wrapping around his sides.

Kakashi tore his mouth from hers and trailed his lips down the side of her neck, kissing and nibbling, her sweet floral scent intoxicating his enhanced senses. Sakura sighed with pleasure at the feel of his tongue and teeth against the sensitive skin of her throat. At the same time, his rough hands roamed over her tummy and the contrast sent shivers down her spine. She arched up into him and wrapped one leg over the back of his thigh, and her hands began to slide beneath his sweater and undershirt to caress his smooth, muscular back.

Suddenly, and much to her confusion and disappointment, his lips and hands stopped their exploration. She turned her head to try and see his face.

When he spoke his voice was low and strained. “Sakura…I don’t think –”

“Don’t stop,” she breathed with a fervent shake of her head, and he slowly pulled up to look at her face.

He gazed into her luminous jade eyes, strikingly beautiful in the firelight and even more pronounced by the faint dusting of kohl on her long lashes, and the way her full lips glistened with moisture from his kisses... “Sakura…” he murmured again, knowing he should make an argument but his brain just couldn’t come up with one. He felt himself slipping with every passing moment, but he couldn’t look away from those deep emerald pools.

“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered again, letting her fingers softly caress his bare cheek. “Kakashi…I want to be with you.” She saw the longing and barely restrained desire behind his eyes, and she trailed her fingertip along his jaw and over his lower lip. “I can see you want to be with me too…there’s no reason to fight what we both want.”

“I can think of a few…”

“Well, don’t. There’s nothing wrong about it, and it’s no one’s business but ours.”

She could see his resistance weakening, she could feel him giving in, and she gave him a soft, sensual smile. He sighed and lowered his head until their brows touched, his nose softly nuzzling hers.

“You’ll regret this later, Sakura…I don’t want to drag you down. This wouldn’t be some fling or youthful experiment. I don’t work that way,” he murmured quietly, his mouth inches above hers.

She blinked in confusion and stared up at him with a small frown. “Weren’t you listening? You should know me well enough to know I don’t do things like this halfway… I know what I’m asking for.” She gave him a small, reassuring smile and ran her fingers through his spiky silver hair. “I don’t want a fling, idiot. I want everything. Make love to me, Kakashi,” she whispered softly.

His mismatched eyes, crimson and charcoal grey, stared into hers for a long, decisive moment. And then he was kissing her, hard and possessive and full of fire. Her tongue sought entry and he granted it with a primal groan as he settled his body fully against hers. The soft contours of her athletic but feminine form pressed against him perfectly and it was all he could do to restrain his pent up desire for the pink haired goddess beneath him. His body wanted to ravage her, but his mind wanted to take it slow, to make love to her and show her all that lay in store for them.

Sakura felt a warmth spread all throughout her body and it had nothing to do with the crackling fire only a few feet away. She wasn’t used to this, this breathless, all-encompassing feeling and this maddening physical need to be closer, to feel his hands and lips on her, his skin against hers. It had never been like this before, and she moaned wantonly and gripped his sides to pull him further against her as she tried to wrap her legs around his hips.

Without breaking their heated kiss, Kakashi slipped his hand behind her neck and gently lifted her as he sat up. She moved readily and rose up until they were both on their knees, foreheads touching, their breath mingling. Her hands rose to hold his face as his arms slipped around her waist, fingers easing under her sweater and stroking softly over her skin, taking the cloth up as he went. He continued to lay soft, teasing kisses and nibbles against her lips as he slowly lifted her shirt up and over her head.

Wanting to keep things even, she reached for the hem of his dark sweater and slipped her hands underneath, hooking her thumbs over the fabric and lifting it as she palmed up the smooth expanse of his torso. She had fantasized about touching those firm, perfectly defined muscles in this way, ever since the first time she had seen him shirtless, and she was not disappointed by how amazing they felt beneath her lustful hands. She removed his shirts and then pressed against him with a pleasured sigh, relishing the delicious feel of skin on heated skin. Her lips tasted the skin of his neck and began to trail downward, and she heard his intake of breath as her teeth nipped lightly across his chest, followed by the soft touch of her tongue.

His hands roamed up the skin of her back and wove into her hair, lifting her head up. The heat and intensity of his smoldering gaze sent an erotic shiver down her spine that made her breath catch and her nipples tighten, and she moaned softly as his lips met hers and his tongue glided into her mouth once more. He broke away to trail hot, open mouthed kisses down the column of her neck as his fingers found the clasp of her bra. His tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat and she felt him smirk against her skin.

“Black, huh…” he murmured approvingly, “I always knew you were a naughty girl.”

The deep, sensual timbre of his voice thrummed through her and filled her with heat, and she smirked as she felt the hooks of her bra snap open. “You have no idea…” she whispered seductively.

He made a quiet sound of amusement that vibrated against her skin. “Not yet, but I’m certainly going to enjoy finding out,” he replied, his hands gliding over her shoulder blades to remove the lacy undergarment.

She had never been this exposed to him before, but she felt completely at ease as he lifted his head from her neck to focus on her small but full breasts. The primal hunger in his eyes indicated that he very much liked what he saw, and she felt a boldness fill her at knowing he desired her as much as she did him. “Good enough?”

His eyes flicked up to hers, and a devastatingly sexy smirk formed on his lips as he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. “Perfect,” he whispered lustfully, before crushing his mouth to hers in another searing kiss.

He lowered her again, breaking from her lips to hover over her as her back met the soft blanket again. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispered, drinking in her flushed, glowing appearance.

She smiled softly, fingertips trailing over his lightly stubbled jaw. “Kakashi…”

His calloused fingers trailed across the flat expanse between her breasts and down her stomach, their slight roughness giving her pleasured chills as they moved over her skin. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to her sternum, and her fingers threaded into his messy hair as he began to kiss a heated trail down her chest. She gasped softly as his lips brushed over her nipple, her gasp turning to a low moan as he drew the taut peak into his mouth and sucked gently, tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. Her fingers tightened in his hair as she held him against her, arching her back to press into him encouragingly. Within moments her heavy breaths tuned into small pants as heat flooded her core and her desire spiraled to a whole new level.

She exhaled sharply in disappointment as his mouth released her, but bit her lip in anticipation as he worked a wet trail across her chest and hungrily closed his lips around her other nipple, giving it the same thorough attention. His fingers ghosted over her abdomen and slipped beneath the edge of her pants, and she squirmed in approval as he unfastened the button and began to tug her zipper down, his mouth never ceasing its torturous pleasure. A moment later he sat up partway and grasped the waist of her pants with both hands, and slowly began to pull them over her hips and down her legs, mismatched eyes taking in every inch of newly revealed skin, settling with a pleased smirk upon the lacy panties that matched her discarded bra.

Sakura sat up as well, reaching for the waistband of his pants as she pressed her lips to his passionately. He responded hungrily, tilting her head with his hand and meeting her tongue with his as she worked his pants open and began to slide them down his slender hips. He lowered her to the blanket again, slipping out of his clothing as he settled over her. He groaned softly against her lips as her silky thighs brushed over his, and his fingers threaded into her hair as he continued to explore her mouth heatedly.

His fingers were moving down her abdomen again, and mewled softly in anticipation of his touch. They slipped under the edge of her panties and brushed soft pink curls, eliciting another moan of pleasure swallowed by his kiss. He made slow, teasing strokes over her womanhood, and a soft cry escaped her lips as his fingers found that most sensitive bundle of nerve endings and began to move in rhythmic little circles. Her moans went up an octave as she felt one strong finger ease inside her heated opening, and she rolled her hips upward to further the sensation. A second digit soon joined the first and he made a low growl against her throat at the feel of her muscles tightening around his fingers. He began to move them slowly within her and she continued to roll her hips against his hand with increasing moans as his thumb worked the heated button in time with his fingers.

Sakura felt as if her entire body was on fire. The silver haired shinobi above her exuded such restrained power and raw masculinity that her body was practically aching with desire for him. But for as much power coiled just below the surface, his touch was incredibly gentle and controlled, and it made her want him even more. She could feel his arousal against her thigh and she ran her hand down the smooth ridges of his chest and stomach, and a hiss escaped his lips as she closed her fingers around his length. She began to softly stroke the rigid flesh in her hand, and he emitted a small groan of pleasure as she grazed over the sensitive tip, a tiny drop of moisture slick beneath her thumb. “Kakashi…” she whispered brokenly, barely able to think from what he was doing, let alone form words, “I need you inside of me.”

His eyes met hers, clouded and smoldering with lust, and a predatory smirk curled his lips as he lowered his head to kiss her. She didn’t mind the loss of his fingers, as the heat built to an almost unbearable level in anticipation of his hard, muscular body against her, inside her. He slipped her panties over her hips and tossed them aside, then settled over her as he positioned himself, and her silky thighs slid over his hips and wrapped around him as his hard length pressed against her heated entrance.

“Sakura…what about…”

Her fingers gripped his strong shoulders tightly. “Medic…” she rasped with a hint of exasperation. She rolled her hips to feel more of the delicious friction against her core, emitting an impatient whimper, “Kakashi…”

Her wanton eagerness was unbelievably sexy, and he was pleased that he would be able to completely feel her around him as he took her for the first time. He eased his tip inside her and his eyes snapped closed at the incredible heat. He braced himself on his elbows as he slowly sank within her, and a low, primal growl escaped his lips as she enveloped him completely. “God, Sakura…”

Her only reply was a heady moan as she lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around him, the feeling of him filling her too overwhelming to form words. Her moans increased in pitch as he began to move, filling her again and again in slow, powerful thrusts. Her nails grazed down his smooth back and he growled against her throat as his muscles rippled under her fingers, and his particularly hard thrust told her he liked when she did that. Soon their heavy pants became groans and cries as passion overtook them. One hand slipped beneath her to grip her shoulder and the other grasped her thigh and lifted it higher, the angle allowing him to hit deeper and make her cry out with every thrust. Her nails raked over his back and shoulders and his teeth grazed the skin of her throat. Sakura felt the intense heat begin to tighten in her core, and she frantically bucked her hips upward to meet every driving push.

“Oh, god…Kakashi!”

Suddenly the heat flared white hot and exploded within her, spiraling out in waves, and she threw her head back with a loud, gasping cry. Hearing his name on her lips as she came and the way she tightened and pulsated around him drove him right to the edge, and as he watched her beautiful face contort in ecstasy he fell into oblivion with her. The muscles of his back tightened under her hands and he shuddered against her, his broken groan buried in the hollow of her neck as he emptied himself inside her.

They lay still for several moments, slowly coming down from the incredible high and waiting for their racing hearts to slow. He released her thigh and slipped his arm around her waist, and she ran her fingers through his spiky silver hair and cradled his head against her. She felt him stir and her hands caressed over his shoulders as he slowly pulled out and removed his weight, settling on his side next to her.

His fingers wove into her short pink hair as he gazed down at her. “You really are beautiful…”he murmured softly.

She purred appreciatively and gave him a soft, radiant smile. “Back at ya,” was her playful reply. A boyish grin spread across his handsome features, and she felt a little flutter inside. Even though she had him now, the butterflies were still there, proof of how completely head-over-heels she was.

He leaned down and captured her lips in a tender, lingering kiss. “What was that earlier about not trying to seduce me?”

Sakura giggled softly and ran her fingers though his unruly hair. “I really wasn’t trying to, but since it happened I’ll definitely take credit for it.” He chuckled quietly and lowered his head to nibble the skin of her neck. She sighed in contentment, “That was amazing, Kakashi.”

She felt him smirk against her skin. “Hmm, you should know by now that I don’t do things halfway either, Sakura,” he said, a hint of smugness in his smooth tone.

She grinned at hearing her own words thrown back at her. The fire still blazed in the fireplace, but air still gave a faint chill to their naked, slightly sweaty skin. Kakashi reached over and grabbed the section of oversized blanket that wasn’t beneath them and wrapped it around their bodies. Out of curiosity his eyes found the clock on the wall, and he looked down at the drowsy pink haired woman. “It’s after midnight. Merry Christmas, Sakura,” he said quietly as he brushed his lips softly over hers.

She smiled against his lips. “Merry Christmas, Kakashi.” Then she let out a small laugh, “This is the best Christmas present ever.”

He laughed as well as he settled and wrapped his arms around her once more. “It sure is,” he agreed quietly.

“You know, I have the next week off…” she hinted with a mischievous smile.

“I’ve got two, and I know exactly how I’m going to spend them,” he replied.

“Reading Icha Icha?” she teased.

“Aloud while naked in your bed? You really are a kinky little thing, but I’m up for it if you are.” She simply laughed and snuggled further into him.

Several minutes passed as they lay quietly, basking in the warmth of the fire and each other’s arms. Sakura was floating high on a giddy feeling as she thought about what lay in store for them now that they had admitted their feelings and taken things to another level. She still couldn’t quite believe it, that her feelings for her silver haired friend were reciprocated, and that her ridiculous little crush had turned into something so much more wonderful. This really was the best Christmas ever.

“So…what now?” she asked quietly.

He looked down at her and smirked. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to how gorgeous he was under the mask. He appeared to think on it for a moment, and then his smirk widened to a playful smile.

“How about some more of that cocoa?”

---

A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed this little piece of holiday fluff. This was my first KakaSaku, so any feedback on how it turned out would be awesome.

Happy Holidays!