|Ted and Ralph's Christmas
Author: Minor God PM
Ralph has organised a party for his estate workers... Sadly, he's forgotten to invite anyone but Ted.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Words: 812 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12-15-07 - id: 3947745
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author note: Hi everyone, welcome to a new Ted and Ralph. I hope you like it; it's more serious than most of them our there, but please do read and review!
Disclaimer: I thoroughly disclaim both the characters.
Ralph: Er, Ted, I was wondering… Are you… that is, have you given any thought to Christmas yet?
Ted looks up slowly.
Ted: Christmas, sir?
Ralph: Yes. Have you thought what you might be doing, or, anything?
Ted: Not really, sor, no.
Ralph: Do you like to do anything for Christmas, Ted?
Ted: …Not really, sor, no.
Ralph: No. Rather materialistic, isn't it, Ted, Christmas? The tacky lights, shoals of presents from the soulless supermarkets; drunken… things in, pubs… I suppose you prefer a night in with Mrs- oh, er.
He remembers Mrs Ted is dead and looks mortified.
Ted: It's only the 11th of November, sor.
Perhaps you're right… Are you looking forward to it though?
Ted: Oi wouldn't really know about that sor.
Ralph: No… I sometimes wonder at the enormity of it myself – that such simple beginnings led to such great things… That such a great hold on the hearts and minds of mankind could grow from something as humble as a birth in a stable. D-do you believe in God, Ted?
Ted's eyes widen at the unexpected question.
Ted: Oi was always raised as a Catholic, sor. My mother, she had very strong religious views.
Ralph: Yes, me too.
Ted: But Oi never believed a word of it.
Ralph: No. No, perhaps you're right. Perhaps we are all alone in the universe; masters of our own destiny, as it were...
He looks up to the sky philosophically. Ted gets visibly bored.
Ted: Oi better be getting back to work now, sor.
Ralph (sheepishly): Yes, of course Ted. …Ted? There's just one more thing. The estate workers' Christmas party. Will you, that is-
Ted (deciding to save Ralph the trouble): Yes, sor.
A month later, at the Christmas party. Ted is looking about stunned, because it is actually not a party, more an intimate dinner in an exclusive restaurant. They sit on opposite sides of a small table. Ralph is pawing at the menu embarrassedly.
Ralph: 'S I'm most dreadfully sorry, Ted, it does seem like what with all the excitement of Christmas, and everything, I have forgotten to invite everyone else.
Ted (mumbling): That's all roight, sor.
Ralph: No, Ted, it was irredeemably careless of me…
He takes a deep breath.
Can you forgive me?
Ted looks across at him bemusedly.
Ted: …It's all roight, sor.
Ralph: Thank you, Ted. So, what do you think you might have?
Ted: Oi don't really know, sor.
Ralph: Oh, er, they have a Christmas dinner on offer. Do you like Turkey, Ted?
Ted: N…not really, sor, no.
Ralph: What is it you have for tea on Christmas Day, then, Ted?
Ted: Usually Oi've had whatever Mrs Ted wanted, sor. But this year, Oi dunno. What about you, sor?
Ralph: Er, probably just a Marks and Spencers' individual turkey roll; being on my own, and what not.
Will you be spending Christmas alone, Ted?
Ted: Well Oi don't know about that. Oi suppose Oi will.
Ralph: And Brussel sprouts.
Ralph: Christmas, one must eat Brussel sprouts, whether we enjoy them or not.
Ted cracks a smile.
Ted: True sor.
Ralph: I remember one Christmas, my father forced six of them into my mouth while my mother held my hands behind my back.
Ted's eyes widen.
Ralph (wistfully): I remember also, how excited I would get as the train pulled into King's Cross Station when I returned from school for the holidays… hoping mother and father might have come to meet me… Then, er, the long solitary bus ride home.
Ted (mumbling): Doesn't surprise me, sor.
Ted: Your parents, sor; they were never very kind to you.
Ralph: [Stunned silence. ...Well, they did their best, w-
Ted: No, they didn't.
Ralph: No… no, I suppose you're right.
Extremely long and awkward silence. Ralph looks dangerously wistful again.
Do you remember, Ted, that Christmas night when I tried to run away, and you found me hiding in the lower field?
Ted: Yes, sor. When you wor- six?
Ralph: Yes… And, er, when you took me home, father…
Ted: He hit you, sor.
Ralph (sadly): That's right.
Another long and awkward silence.