but oh well

i just randomly felt like writing this

song- My Last Breath by Evanescence

enjoy

My Last Breath

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

I took a deep breath in, the cold sea air filling my nostrils. The wind whipped at my face and my hair was a mess all over my face. There were tears stains on my cheeks and my eyes were blood-shot red, yet the tears had stopped flowing long ago. Cliff diving... it was supposed to be relatively safe. I was hoping it wouldn't be too safe, just quick and painless.

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I couldn't deal with life anymore. Every second I wasn't with him was meaningless. And I knew he wasn't coming back. So what was the point? The edges of the hole in my heart were burning and making it bigger every second I didn't jump off that cliff. I glanced down at the waves crashing viciously against the sharp jagged rocks that I knew would kill me if I jumped. I got queasy. When I backed away, the edges burned more. I didn't know which was worse: the searing pain in my heart or the sick feeling I got whenever I looked over the edge and thought about jumping.

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your tears

"Bella," the sweet melodic voice warned. He knew what I was going to do. I knew that I was going to jump no matter how queasy I got. I knew that I could. I knew that I wanted to. I knew that I would. But I didn't understand why I still didn't jump even though the pain was getting to be unbearable.

"Don't do it, Bella." The voice was stern and commanding. When I looked over the edge again, the voice became pleading and hurt. "Please, Bella, please. You have so much to live for. Please don't jump."

I backed away again, but my arms clutched at my heart again hoping to stop the pain that was getting worse and worse.

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I sat down near the edge, closed my eyes, and hugged my knees to my chest. I was practically hyperventilating. I wanted—no, needed—to jump, to end the pain. But then why couldn't I jump? I rubbed my temples tiredly and tried to breathe in and out evenly. You coward, Bella, I thought to myself, You can barely rip a band-aid off yourself. Just do it. Quick and painless. You won't feel a thing. I pushed my hair out of my face. I must have looked like hell. Just do it.

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will leave you here

But still you wake and know the truth

No one's there

I spread my arms out wide, letting myself feel more free. Once I heard his voice again in my head, screaming, "Bella! Don't do it! Please!", I smiled and closed my eyes. The edges scorched more fiercely every second, causing my face to scrunch up in pain. The wind died down and left me with a breeze that tickled my face.

Say goodnight

Don't be afraid

Calling me calling me as you fade to black

I stood there for a minute, still not jumping but standing there with my arms spread wide. Stop stalling. I heard a motorcycle in the distance—Jacob's motorcycle. He was coming over to save me. Damn. I extended my foot over the edge.

"Bella! Please! Don't do it! I'm not worth it!" he shouted in desperation.

"Yes, you are," I whispered, my voice cracking and fresh tears brimming over my eyes.

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I quickly leaned over feeling the adrenaline pump through my veins as I plummeted toward the deathly sharp rocks.

"No! Bella!" two voices yelled. Jacob and him.
"I love you, Edward," I whispered as tears flowed more and more and I crept into eternal darkness.

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