Gibbs watched it as in slow motion, the way Tony pulled the trigger, jumped at the sound of Gibbs's voice and the shot embedded itself in the wall instead. Gibbs jumped forwards and grabbed the gun, threw it on the work bench and grabbed Tony by the shoulders.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Gibbs asked, shaking Tony roughly, "Don't you even think about killing yourself! You idiot! Moron! Stupid fuck!" Gibbs yelled. He stopped shaking Tony when he saw the tears stream down Tony's face. "I'm sorry Tony, I didn't mean to shake you, I'm sorry" Gibbs said and embraced Tony, rocking them from side to side. "Christ.. why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" Gibbs asked.

"I loved her.. I loved her..she was like my only sister.. she knew everything about me, EVERYTHING, I let her die.. I let her die.." Tony sobbed. Gibbs hugged him a little closer. "I just stood there like a moron and let her die" Tony sobbed.

"You couldn't know Ari was there Tony, you had no way of knowing that at all" Gibbs said and kissed Tony's forehead several times before embracing Tony again.

"I can still feel her blood on my face, I can still picture her saying, waow, I thought I'd die before, and then drop dead on the ceiling.. the way we looked around for Ari.. the way she died was so pointless.. utterly pointless" Tony sobbed.

"I know.. I know" Gibbs said, blinking away his own tears, "Don't you ever try and kill yourself Tony, ever! You got me? If you kill yourself she died in vain, when you remember her, remember what she did for you, how much she loved you" Gibbs said.

"She was the only one I could talk to, McGee's alright, Ziva's going to be a good investigator, Abs is nice to me and a good friend, but Kate, Kate was special. I talked to her about everything.. Everything Jet!! I miss her so much.. so terribly much" Tony sobbed. Gibbs knew that Tony remembered when he mentioned McGee and Ziva, but he didn't want to interrupt Tony talking, so he kept his mouth shut. "She knew it all.." Tony sobbed, "I can't live without her.. I can't.." Tony sobbed harder now. Gibbs pulled away from him and cupped Tony's face in his hands.

"Listen to me Tony, I didn't think I could live without Kelly and Shannon, but I'm still here.. When I think the day sucks and I think dying is the only answer, I look at you and I can live another day.. Tony, I love you, and I need you to promise you wont EVER try to kill yourself again! Okay? Can you do that or do I need to strap you to a chair?" Gibbs asked. Tony looked into his eyes and nodded. Gibbs embraced him again. "You stupid stupid man.." he chuckled and kissed Tony's forehead. "Good thing I came down here or your brains would be splattered all over the place" Gibbs said.

"I dunno what I was thinking.. she would've hated me if I'd done something like that" Tony said into Gibbs's shoulder.

"She would" Gibbs said and released Tony. "Now, do you remember everything?" Gibbs asked. Tony sighed and nodded. "That's great!" Gibbs said, "But you're still not happy.. why?" Gibbs asked.

"Because I remember it all.. even the bad things.. why couldn't I just forget the bad things in my life?" Tony asked.

"Because you wouldn't be who you are if you did" Gibbs replied. "Let's get upstairs and go to bed, telling everyone about your health can wait until tomorrow" Gibbs continued, "Everything can wait another day" Gibbs finished. The two of them walked upstairs and into the bedroom, and just held eachother for the entire night.

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AN: That's it for this story, hope you liked it, and I hope you didn't find it too long :) Hugs and kisses, your humble writer..

Disclaimer: All hail DPB