Author's Notes: Okay. This is it, eh? First things first: apologies to everyone who was hoping that this would be slash. It was in the original, but there was just too much going on with the House/Wilson dynamic, and throwing in McManLovin' didn't help anything. Second, I hope to see you all at my next story, working-title of Untouchable and dedicated to my wonderful wife Lex (for full summary, see my profile). It's going to be awesome. It's much longer than this one, and it doesn't involve deaf!House, either. But nonetheless, I hope that you all give it a try.

And finally, as always, a gargantuan thank you to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate them more than you know! I always smile whenever I see another review alert in my inbox--thank you, everyone. I'm always happy to hear your thoughts.

Hey You
I'm praying for a miracle
But I won't hold my breath
I never said I was perfect
But can you take me home?

Faster.

No. Unless you actually want to be a deaf QUADRIPLEGIC.

MORON. I can’t see what you’re saying while you’re pushing the WHEELCHAIR.

Oh, the possibilities...

Did you know that I can still drive?

No.

Which is pretty weird. What would happen if there was a FIRETRUCK and I didn’t pull over? Can’t I get ARRESTED for that?

—

Are you pissed at me already?

House! I can’t talk and drive at the same time!

You mean you never learned to drive with your knees?

House!

We’re at a stoplight. I can see five people that are talking on their CELL PHONES.

Stop it!

Look, that woman over there is looking at PORN on the INTERNET.

Seriously?

—

She is not! She’s—now you made me miss the green light!

So you got HONKED at. Big deal.

Hey! Where’s my BIKE?

I was worried that it would get STOLEN, so I put it in my parking spot at the HOTEL.

I want it back. Let’s go get it.

Right now?

Yes, right now. Why not?

You’re not—House, you’re not going to ride a MOTORCYCLE. You just had your SKULL cracked open last week. If you got into an ACCIDENT...

Then I’d die happy, and you wouldn’t have to pay for a CASKET. Please?

No.

Yes. Every day.

You don’t have a girlfriend.

You might as well be my girlfriend. You’re more work than all the girls I’ve dated put together.

Well, I’m obviously worth it. You’ve been with me longer than all the girls that you’ve ever dated put together.

You are worth it.

—

—

Group hug time!

Shut up. What do you want for dinner?

CHINESE. You’re paying.

Go ahead and sit down on the couch. I’ll get the—

Yes?

Oh, you must think you’re clever. You can go get the phone yourself. I’m going to sit down and relax.

Getting the phone to order dinner doesn’t count as ENABLING!

You were going to call me on it as soon as I brought you the phone, weren’t you? Oh, no. You’re getting your own phone.

Wilson!

And you’re paying.