|Wasabi Mashed Potatoes
Author: Apple Snapple PM
Mukahi, Shishido, and Oshitari have a talk about wasabi mashed potatoes. Rated T for swearing. Oneshot. Complete and utterly pointless crack.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 991 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12-21-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3959953
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Say what?" Shishido asked incredulously, flipping through his book in the tennis clubroom.
"Yes, you heard me."
"No, it isn't."
"You shut up, Shishido."
"Gakuto, just quit it. No one's going to believe you."
Mukahi looked outraged. "How can you not believe me? This is Fuji Syuusuke we're talking about here!"
"Yeah, and this is real food we're talking about here."
"I'm telling you, Fuji was in a burger shop eating wasabi mashed potatoes!"
"And why should I believe you?"
"Uh, because I have two eyes, a nose, two ears, and a mouth?"
"Yeah, a mouth that spews out BS every five seconds."
"It's true. There's no such thing as wasabi mashed potatoes, nor will there ever be."
"There is such a thing, I tell you!" Mukahi insisted. "If you don't believe me I'll show you!"
"I'd rather you not."
"THEN HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME?!
"I'll never believe you."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I MEAN, COME ON, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT FUJI'S LIKE, PART MAMMAL!"
"Gakuto, all humans are mammals," Oshitari commented.
"That's not what I meant!"
"Wait, do you mean part monster?" Shishido inquired.
"Then don't say mammal, say monster. Jeez."
"Well sorry! My vocabulary just isn't doing well today."
"Yeah, says the person who spelled 'vocabulary' V-O-C-A-B-U-R-A-L-Y."
"Ugh! Yeah, says the person who asked 'what's white and red mixed together?' during art class!"
"Hey! Only girls know about those kinds of things!"
"So are you saying those 14 something males in the classroom were all girls in disguise?"
"We're getting off topic you know!"
"Right." Mukahi took a deep breath. "Shishido, I WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME!!!"
"...Do you know how weird that sounds? It's like you're trying to confess for your undying love to me or something."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!! I MEANT THOSE WASABI MASHED POTATOES!"
"I don't believe you..."
"Well, this is Fuji we're talking about here," Oshitari stated. "And Fuji could make anyone make wasabi mashed potatoes for him. Remember? He's one of those sadistic people who laugh at everyone's pains or something."
"You see, even Yuushi believes me!"
"I'm not saying I believe you, I'm just saying that it's plausible."
"...What does plausible mean?"
"Oh...why couldn't you just use the word 'logical'?"
"My vocabulary isn't working well today, remember?"
"You know what I hate the most though?"
"No." Shishido and Oshitari said together.
"I absolutely hate it when I see those big gallons of water that say 'sodium free'. I mean, hell, isn't water supposed to be sodium free?"
"Wait, I thought you hated that Kikumaru guy from Seigaku the most," Shishido said.
"Meh. My hatred for things varies from time to time."
"Wait, what were we talking about again?"
"Wasabi mashed potatoes," Shishido answered.
"Oh. Right. Well, he did eat wasabi mashed potatoes, I saw him with my own three eyes!"
"We humans have two eyes, just so you know."
"Oh. Right. But seriously, he did eat them! And if you don't believe me he's probably going like, cut you up into little pieces with his scissors or something and then eat you!"
"Where do you get all this crap from?"
"Um, I actually got the cutting up and eating thing from Sweeney Todd. You know, the movie thing?"
"I thought that movie was rated R."
"So? It's a musical too."
"Regardless of wheter it's a musical or not, Gakuto," Oshitari said, not looking up from his English textbook which he had begun reading.. "It's still rated R, and you're not allowed to see it without adult supervision."
"And what the hell do you think you're doing?" Mukahi demanded, stomping his foot on the ground.
"I'm studying, obviously. Have you ever noticed that finals are coming up?"
"While we're talking about wasabi mashed potatoes?"
"We weren't talking about wasabi mashed potatoes!" Shishido shouted, slamming his hands down on the table before him. "We were freaking talking about a rated R movie that just came out like, on the 21st!"
"Which would be yesterday."
"Whatever, same thing! You keep going off topic to some random crap which I don't even understand about blood and guts flying out while you're talking about FOOD. OH, LORD, HOW AM I EVER TO EAT MASHED POTATOES EVER AGAIN?!"
"Dude, stop spazzing, it's just a harmless conversation about wasabi mashed potatoes."
"HOW IS THAT HARMLESS?!"
"Then again, Fuji Syusuke's probably out to kill you or something..."
"GAH!!!" And thus, Hyoutei ended in a...not so pleasant day.
I haven't updated in three weeks. Screw school and all its homework aka busywork