NL: Hello, friends and readers! Merry Christmas!

Mystery: And Happy New Year! Read and Review, please!

NL: Hold, it! Back up! Why’d you cut directly to the “Read and Review!”?

Mystery: Because this one-shot is really stupid…

NL: Oh! And this story takes place in my Law & Disorder universe and WELL into the future of it, where all of Rika’s team joined already. Enjoy the story!

Team Limit FanFiction presents…

A Law & Disorder Christmas

The sun slowly rose above the horizon for daybreak. The light crossing over the snow-covered lanes of Cartoontopia. The sun’s daylight finally touched one apartment building. But this was any other apartment. It was home to one of the greatest detective agencies of Cartoon X-over land: the Heart of Gold detectives! Their leader/founder, Rika was sleeping soundly in her bed. Then, her eyes started to open gradually. She rose from her bed and stretched in her sky-blue pajamas, yawning. Rika couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something special about today…

“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!” she exclaimed, hopping out of bed and running out into her apartment’s living room, where it was beautifully decorated for the occasion; with tinsel, ornaments, and – of course – pure green pine tree. And underneath…presents! I’d better wait for the others to wake up before I start opening the presents…Rika thought to herself, restraining herself.

“Ah, screw it.” With a childish squeal, she jumped head first into the presents.

Her friends/roommates/team all emerged from their respective bedrooms. “What’s g-g-going on?” the famous Looney Tune pig, Porky Pig asked, wearing a purple nightgown and hat.

“Wait a minute…it’s Christmas!!” one of the team’s doctors, John Dorian (JD for short) shouted, hopping into the load of presents with Rika.

“Ah, bah humbug…” the two other doctors, Dr. Perry Cox and Gregory House grumbled.

Rika’s head finally showed itself from the pile of presents. The air just had a wonderful feeling in the air. Her friends all around. It was just what Christmas was. And, for some reason, the urge to sing over tookover her.

Rika: Christmas day is here once more…

Trisha “Trillian” Macmillan, the team’s tech-woman, smiled and joined in.

Trillian: Gifts and love and joy galore…

The team’s mysterious janitor stepped forward with a mop.

The Janitor: A special day that wipes the floor…

Three little puppy people named Yakko, Wakko and Dot joined hands.

Yakko, Wakko & Dot: With the other 364…

With that, the detectives’ supercomputer, Eddie, start playing upbeat music.

Rika: I wish everyday could be Christmas!
‘cause Santa brings gifts every year;
He’s reading my list
He’s feeding the deer
He’s hauling my gifts from the North Pole to here!

JD slid into the center of the room with a spotlight on him.

JD: I wish everyday could be Christmas!
‘cause every other holiday reeks;
New Year’s Day’s for mom and dad
The Easter bunny’s eggs smell really bad!
Valentine’s Day always makes me sad!

Dr. Cox: ‘cause JD just can’t get a girlfriend!

“What?” JD asked, perplexed.

Porky Pig and his partner, Daffy Duck emerged from two giant stockings.

Daffy & Porky: I wish everyday could be Christmas
’cause nice Toons get their rewards

Porky: I-I got pudding, I got slacks!

Daffy: I got all my back hair waxed!

Yakko ripped off the wax on the duck’s back, leaving behind a bare, and extremely painful red mark. The team’s chef and his assistant, Bender and Stitch relaxed on two lawn chairs with sunglasses and swimming trunks.

Bender & Stitch: Santa grants wishes while we relax

House: And JD still can’t get a girlfriend!

“STOP THAT!!!” JD shouted angrily.

The team’s map-man and no-job-in-particular, Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent rode on a large toy train as they rode it around the room.

Arthur: There’s just no other day like Christmas!
My family stays here, it’s real cool…
Just me, Ford and Trillian
I’m so very glad
There’s no Pete, no Gantu, no mysteries…

Ford:…and no Maleficent!

Arthur: Right!!

Rika: I wish everyday could be Christmas!
And I guess the best gift of all…
My friends stay together to say:

All of the Heart of Gold detectives: “We love you, Noggy…”

“My eggnog!” a homeless man living with them – who was running for mayor of Cartoontopia – named Zaphod Beeblebrox fiercely dove for a carton of it.

Rika: Wouldn’t Christmas each day be the coolest of all!
I wish it were Christmas.
How I wish it were Christmas…
I wish it were Christmas each day…

“Aw, I love you guys…” Rika smiled to all her friends.

Suddenly, all of Team Limit – their fellow detectives – just came crashing through the door. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” No Limit, their leader, came running in, screaming.

“NL, what happened?!” Rika asked.

“Mystery…sleigh…Santa…reindeer…BOOM!!” Time Zone answered, totally out of breath.

“Guys, c-c-calm down and explain what happened,” Porky said.

“Okay…” Bart Simpson took a deep breath. “What happened was…what happened was…Mystery got run over by a reindeer!”

All of the Heart of Gold detectives stared. “WHAT?!”

“What, do we have to sing it?” Wolf asked, crossing his arms.

“Eh, sure, why not,” another one of the Heart of Gold detectives’ robot, Marvin the Paranoid Android, shrugged. Eddie the Supercomputer started playing some music again as a spotlight came down on No Limit.

No Limit: Mystery got run over by a reindeer,

walking from the apartment on Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and Dr. Zoidberg, we believe.

Danny Fenton: She’d been drinking too much eggnog,

and I begged her not to go.

But she forgot her spell book,

and she staggered out the door into the snow.

When I found her Christmas morning, at the scene of the attack,

she had hoof prints on her forehead,

and incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Rukia Kuchiki: Mystery got run over by a reindeer,

flying from the tower on Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and Dr. Zoidberg, we believe.

Blooregard Q. Kazoo: Now we’re all so proud of No Limit.

He’s been taking this so well.

See him in there watching football,

drinking steak sauce and playing cards with the team’s cat, Garfield.

Time Zone: It’s not Christmas without Mystery.

Soon we’ll all be dressed in black.

And I just can’t help but wonder,

should we open up her gifts or send them back?

“SEND THEM BACK!” the others shouted.

Ben Tennyson: Mystery got run over by a reindeer,

walking from the apartment on Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Dr. Zoidberg, we believe.

Dr. Zoidberg: Now the goose is on the table,

and the pudding made of fig.

And the pink and red candles

that would just have matched the hair in Mystery’s wig.

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors,

“better watch out for yourselves.”

They should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

No Limit: Mystery got run over by a reindeer,

walking from the apartment on Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Dr. Zoidberg, we believe.

“Join in, guys!” he waved for the other detectives. The others sent each other disbelieving looks. Then, shrugged helplessly and played along.

Everyone: Mystery got run over by a reindeer,

walking from the apartment on Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Dr. Zoidberg, we belie-ei-eive.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate musicals?” House muttered as the music ended.

No Limit sighed. “Even singing randomly doesn’t fill the hole in my heart caused by my cousin’s death.”

Just then, Mystery walked into the room – covered in sleet and snow – and smacked the upside of NL’s head with an open palm. “I’m not dead, you idiot!” she screeched. “I was unconscious and you left me out in the snow!!”

“You’re alive!” No Limit exclaimed joyously, lifting his cousin up into the air with a hug. “‘Tis a Christmas miracle!”

Mystery sighed in exasperation. “I hate the holidays…”

---

The two detective agencies had spent the day having major fun: drinking eggnog, playing with their new presents, playing pranks (“Get that mop away from me, Janitor!”)…But now was the best part of all Christmas. With everyone nice and comfortable in coats, scarves, hats, and gloves – except for poor, forever-pajama-wearing Arthur, they didn’t have any left for him – they all headed for the great lighting of the Cartoontopia Christmas tree in Central Plaza. There, they met with all their cartoon pals that they helped out in mystery cases, and even some of No Limit’s author friends!

Once the leaders of Cartoontopia made sure that all its residences have showed up for the big event, they all turned to an obscenely large switch. Everyone waited in anticipation as the leaders flipped the switch. But – contrary to believe – the switch DIDN’T light the tree! Oh no…it did something even more magical. It released little, glowing fairies from their places. Everyone gazed in absolute awe as the fairies gathered around the giant tree, and grew even brighter to light up a whole square mile.

And the most beautiful part of all…a twinkling little star from the heavens slowly made its way down to the very tip of the fairy-glowing tree, shining above anything you could possibly see on Earth.

This sight brought a tear in Rika’s eye. “I think this is the best Christmas ever…” she whispered.

“You better believe it, girly,” the Janitor grinned widely. Then, slow – but ever so magnificent – music began to play.

Rika: Here we are,
Warm and cozy by the tree’s glow…

Rika, her team, friends, and all cartoons and authors stepped on to the stage before the tree.

Ben, Bart, & Bloo: Singing songs, and stealing kisses,
Under the mistletoe…

Ben had Bart sitting on top of his shoulders, who had Bloo sitting on his shoulders, who was holding a mistletoe close to Rika. All three attempting to give her a kiss, but fell over.

Bender: We finished our feast,

Stitch: And the tastiest treats!

Stitch bit into a piece of a gingerbread man.

Ford Prefect: But the spirit of Christmas just isn't complete,

Everyone: Without true friends, and family,
And the memories we recall…
It’s the love we share, that fills the air…
That makes this the best Christmas of all…

Daffy: Something special underneath the tree…

The duck handed Porky a little glass figurine of the Warner Bros. shield.

The Janitor, Dr. Cox, and House: We hope it fits you perfectly!

The three jerks held up a girly dress for JD, who – secretly – actually liked the dress.

Time Zone: I’m makin’ a wish…

Mystery: On a sparkling light!

Danny & Juniper: but that’s not what makes this a magical ni-i-ight…

Everyone: It’s our true friends, and family,
And the memories we recall…
It’s the love we share, that fills the air…
That makes this the best Christmas of all…
(It’s good friends), and warm wishes that makes this the best…

Rika, No Limit, & Wolf: This, the beeest…

Everyone: Christmas of all…

---

NL: (sniff) That was beautiful…

Mystery: Sure it was…

NL: Well, thanks for a wonderful year of reviews and fun times, loyal readers and friends! So, I wish you a Merry Christmas…

Mystery: And a Happy New Year! Keep on Reading and Reviewing for years to come, please!

NL: And say Happy Birthday, my birthday’s tomorrow! (December 26)

Starring the voice talents of:

Miranda Cosgrove as Rika

Joe Alaskey as Daffy Duck

Bob Bergen as Porky Pig

John DiMaggio as Bender Bending Rodriguez

Chris Sanders as Experiment “Stitch” 626

Rob Paulsen as Yakko Warner

Jess Harnell as Wakko Warner

Tress MacNeille as Dot Warner

Zach Braff as John “J.D.” Dorian & Time Zone

Neil Flynn as the Janitor

John C. McGinley as Dr. Perry Cox

Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House

Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent

Mos Def as Ford Prefect

Zooey Deschanel as Trisha “Trillian” McMillan

Sam Rockwell as Zaphod Beeblebrox

Warwick Davis (actor) and Alan Rickman (voice) as Marvin the Paranoid Android

Jesse McCartney as No “N.L.” Limit

Grey DeLisle as Mystery

Choi Min-sik as Wolf

Michelle Ruff as Rukia Kuchiki

David Kaufman as Danny Fenton/Phantom

Lara Jill Miller as Juniper Lee

Tara Strong as Ben Tennyson

Keith Ferguson as Blooregard Q. “Bloo” Kazoo

Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson

Billy West as Dr. Zoidberg