Author: Caspre PM
Toph bumps into an old friend, who manages to uproot the whole lifestyle of the Gaang with her quirky habits, such as her lovematching obsessions between Toph and Sokka, and of course pissing off Katara when she flirts obscenely with Aang..fun to be had!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Toph & Sokka - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,344 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 03-10-08 - Published: 12-25-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3967909
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"I think it's the safest bet to assume that Aang's head resembles a grapefruit."
"No way!" Toph insisted, shaking her head at Sokka. His look of maddening superiority fell from his face at her disagreement as Toph poked Aang's face a couple of time, no doubt feeling it for herself, "It definitely looks like a street sign- don't forget the arrow,Snoozles!"
"You know, I resent Snoozles. I have woken up considerably throughout this time we have spent together as a group!" Sokka objected, but he paused before sniggering slightly and saying: "But I guess at Nickelodeon, we all have to have…Nicknames…geddit?"
You could have heard a mouse's digestive system at work it was so silent.
Katara came across the three teenagers holding a jar of water, shaking her head wearily.
"You two are seriously clueless." She declared. Toph and Sokka shot her evil looks while Aang smiled appreciatively. But Katara didn't stop there.
"Ithink he looks like Gran-Gran."
There wasn't even enough air in the stratosphere for Toph and Sokka to draw breath as they pounded the earth and clutched their sides. Aang's good natured smile had completely vanished and all that was left was a jerky twitch in his left eye.
"…your Gran-Gran?" He whispered. Katara frowned in confusion at the quaking heaps that were Toph and Sokka and at Aang's tragic expression and gave a serious nod.
"I think you have her eyes." She said sweetly, cocking her head to one side and hugging the jar of water she was holding, "So whenever I look at you, Aang, I think of home."
"And wrinkles and saggy bits!" Toph gasped amidst her tears. Sokka bawled with mirth as they rolled around even more. Aang just nodded in acceptance and looked at the ground, thinking of arthritis and weak bladders.
"Aw come on, Aang," Sokka said through his giggles, "You're a hundred and twelve now, and it's time to accept that you're getting old!"
Eventually, Toph and Sokka managed to regain themselves and by that time Katara had made dinner. They also found themselves a couple of years older. (Kidding.)
They were just about to feast on watery stew when Katara cried out: "Ohshoot I forgot the milk! We can't drink this without milk!"
"And why ever can we not?" Sokka demanded in a dramatic boom of a voice, his spoon already rocketing towards his mouth and his eyes closed passionately for his one and only love: food.
"Because milk is the ingredient that prevents the soup from giving you terrible boils." Katara said in a bored voice, obviously having foreseen her brother's rash actions, and didn't seem at all surprised when Sokka went cross-eyed as he looked down at the spoon that was already in his mouth. He spat it out, shrieking and massaging his tongue, which was already sporting a rather impressive sore.
Aang couldn't go, because he had been consumed by the disease of vanity, raking his face for any signs of premature wrinkles and liver spots in a shard of ice he had frozen for himself.
Katara couldn't go, because she was trying to heal a boil that had sprung upon Sokka's behind, which had made it impossible for him to sit down.
Sokka couldn't go, because…well it's already been explained.
So Toph was off to the market, in the already setting sun, skating along the earth for a little entertainment and still snickering at the collection of boils above Sokka's right collar bone, which resembled the Fire Nation insignia. He'd actually tried to beat them off with his sword in frenzy.
Soon enough, she was there, and was just walking along when she bumped into someone, whom she'd failed to notice as she felt her way through the narrow street full of stalls and merchandize.
"Watch where you're going, Shortie!" A very familiar voice cut through the air as it scolded her.
"Excuse me? I'm blind- cut me a little slack here!" Toph piped up indignantly, trying to stand in a way that made her look vulnerable and helpless.
"Yeah, yeah, I know you can feel the ants from the other side of the market from here, Toffee!" Toph was finding this term of endearment a little toofamiliar now…she froze as she felt the vibrations of this curious person more carefully.
"Wait...Cari?" Toph's mouth fell open, which was quickly stuffed with a lump of clothing, because her oldest friend who she hadn't seen in nearly a year had pulled her into a bone-crunching hug. After a moment or two, Toph found herself free of Cari's bosom and stepped back cautiously.
"How the hell...?"
"Well, Toph-in Coffin, it's been a while!" The tall girl with olive skin and thick mahogany hair cascading down her back grinned toothily, "Last I heard was you were off traveling with the Avatar! Which reminds me-"
The smile vanished, but Toph didn't see this, so she had no warning for the vein-popping, muscle-marinating thump that was heading for her stomach.
"Oof!" And she fell to the floor, the world's greatest earth bender, was defeated by a single punch from her best friend. (Don't worry she's not dead or anything, she's just...on the floor, an unlikely situation for Toph!)
Doubling over in pain, Toph tried to breathe, but she was completely winded. Cari towered over her, hands on hips and her teeth bared.
"What the hell happened to you, Toph? Best friends don't just get up and leave town, especially at our age, especially when they're blind, especially without saying goodbye, dammit!!!"
Toph finally struggled up, massaging her abdomen. Cari had always had the slightest touch of violence in her personality. In fact, the two girls met when Toph took the last rock cake at an earth kingdom party and Cari punished her by sitting on her.
"It's more complicated than you think, Lover Girl." She groaned, the use of that long forgotten Nickname feeling strange on her tongue, "I had to help Aang..."
Glaring and silence was all she received.
"...The Avatar?" Toph tried, and when she heard a murmur of recognition she continued, "I needed to teach him Earth bending, and that meant traveling with him. My parents wouldn't let me go, because they still thought I was the same old baby blind boo-boo b-"
"Ok, Ok, I understand. You always were a peace and harmony kind of...well no you weren't. Compared to me you're an angel, though, Doll." She winked roguishly, even though Toph couldn't see it, she felt it was necessary, "But come on, Toph, you couldn't even say goodbye?"
"I had to leave quickly. My parents weren't that happy about it so-"
"-You ran away. Yeah, your mother tried to cover it up with boarding school but I knew she wouldn't let you out of the house, let alone a big school with boisterous children, pushing and shoving, not to mention fire hazards with those military freaks flashing their flames now-"
I ran away." Toph summed up for her, raising an eyebrow and
sighing. But underneath the façade she was really enjoying her
pointless discussions with her best friend again, "I know I was
going to get The Boulder's autograph for you ,Lover Girl, but-"
"I KNOW! I WAS SO PISSED OFF!!!" 'Lover Girl' screeched, causing a curious cabbage salesman to start and drop some of his prize vegetables on the floor. Cari ignored he's wheezy yells of protest, "You knowI'm crazy about him and you never bothered to get off of your lazy-"
"THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN AN EGOTISTICAL MUSCLY MANIAC AND HIS SIGNATURE!" Toph screamed, causing the cabbage salesman to jump and fall into his crate of cabbages, "Now come on, if you want to carry on this 'blissful' reunion, then you can just follow me; I have to get some milk and some boil antidote for Sokka."
Cari just stared, "Who is Sokka?"
"No one. Just a guy in the group I'm traveling with."
Cari watched Toph closely as she hid under her curtain of hair.
"I see...so ya must love him quite a lot to just trot off to get some medicine for this Tokka guy-"
"It'sSokka! What kind of word is "Tokka"?" Toph ridiculed. Cari smirked.
"I don't know! It could have some special meaning?" She guessed, not knowing how close she was to the truth, "Is he cute?"
"NO!" Toph roared. However, while Toph could detect a lie through earth bending, Cari had the uncanny knack of being able to just look at the culprit and deduct a fib.
"Right...!" She concluded, grinning sideways at Toph as she walked with her.
There was silence as they pushed their way through the crowds, just enjoying each other's presence again.
"You know another problem I have is that now I can't get into Earth Wrestling, because I had a free pass because I knew the Blind Bandit, so I couldn't even spectate The Bould-"
"How's Shigure?" Toph interrupted a plan up her sleeve. Cari stopped mid babble to jump and down with glee, a strange twinkle in her eye.
"HE'S SO HOT!" She shrieked, "But not as hot as Tsume..." And with that she was silent again, alone with her daydreams and leaving Toph without a headache again.
Soon enough, they purchased some Lemur Milk and some boil antidote. (Which actually turned out to be some more Lemur Milk, which they should have realized after Katara told them that it was the antidote to the boils in the soup)
"So how old is this Sukka guy then?" Cari asked her head finally clear.
"Itold you, it's Sokka. Where do you get all of these weird names?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got here by ship, and the sailors all use words like them...It's easy to pick up on!" The wild looking girl explained, but grinned mischievously all the while, "Anyway, it was quite a coincidence to bump into you like this! I can't believe you're staying on the shores of thisplace!"
"I heard they hate Earth Benders here."
"...We're in Earth Kingdomhere, Lover Girl."
"Itused to be Earth Kingdom, until the Fire Nation infiltrated it. Apparently the Earth Benders here gave quite a fight, so bad that any Earth Bender has been taken away and the threat still stands for any of them visiting..."Cari shrugged nonchalantly, even as an Earth Bender herself, "But it's not so likely that they can take uson." She patted Toph on the shoulder, who was still processing this news. Eventually she smiled and nodded. The pair of them made one HUGE ego.
"Cari, I've missed you." Toph confessed, "And I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye."
Cari smiled a saintly smile, and gave Toph a friendly punch, which sent her stumbling.
"Aw, you know I can't resist that tragic tone." She said happily, "So do I get to meet this gang of yours?"
"Hi...nith to meet you guyth..." (Don't forget the lisp.)
"Hi, I'm Aang!" The sweet young child lifted himself into the air and glided charmingly over to Cari, bowing graciously, "I didn't know Toph had any friends-"
In a matter of seconds, Aang found himself up to his neck in earth, because Toph had lost her temper.
Toffee, so you're still as short as your temper?" Cari sniggered,
giving the earth an idle kick to free Aang in order to shake hands
with him. Toph stayed calm and smiled.
"Not exactly," She insisted, "But Twinkle toes is a special case. He's resilient enough."
"Excuse me?" Sokka piped up indignantly, "I seem to recall numerous Earth Beatings from you, Toph!"
"Yeah, I forget." Toph yawned, indifferent to Sokka's accusation, "Sokka here happens to be a real delicate flower."
"THAT I am not!" Sokka scrambled to his feet and marched over to Toph, jabbing her in the shoulder, "I am a warrior, and should be treated as such!" And as the 'warrior' drew breath, Toph quickly unscrewed the bottle of milk she had purchased and stuck it in his mouth.
"There, there, Snoozles, you have your bottle now." Toph cooed, patting him so hard on the head that he sunk into the ground with every strike (thanks to some earth bending as well of course) He looked furious, but sucked on the bottle all the same.
"Sothis is Sokka?" Cari deducted, as the true genius she was...! "I imagined him a little less...inflamed." She eyed the many boils, which in all fairness werereceding slightly due to the milk. Sokka removed the bottle from his mouth (with a comical 'pop!' sound) and said:
"In my defense, if it wasn't for Katara's shabby cooking skills-"
Unfortunately, they didn't hear any more of his babbling, since his whole face was encased in a block of freshly frozen ice, courtesy of Katara.
"IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY COOKING, YOU GUYS WOULD ALL BE IN TROUBLE!" The pre-menstrual water bender screeched as her brother and everyone else felt her wrath, which was radiating off of her.
"Hi, I'm Cari." The charismatic earth bender announced, smiling and waving at Katara, who was breathing so hard, her hot breath was slowly thawing the ice encasing Sokka's head.
"Hello. Cari." She said shortly. Cari looked to Toph who shrugged.
"Katara can be like this sometimes. Usually she's sugar and spice." She explained. Cari simply shrugged.
"Yeah, Toph-in Coffin can be like that sometimes as well." She tells the group, jerking an accusational thumb Toph's way.
"Ooooh," Sokka sighed, realizing something, "So youlike weird nicknames too!" The group caught on and murmured things such as "Oh right!" "Well wouldn't ya know!" and "I hate those nicknames..." (That one was from Sokka)
"You want a new one, Snoozles?" Toph threatened, "I was thinking Tufty, due to that puppy dog's tail you've got shooting out of your head!"
"...What'syournicknameCari?!" Sokka babbled, desperate to change the subject whilst poking his pony tail subconsciously.
"Lover Girl." Toph answered in a bored voice before Cari could even open her mouth.
They stared for a while, perhaps expecting Cari to brandish a heart studded bow and arrow, or blow some kisses whilst hitching up her skirt.
"She falls in love at first sight. She's a guy hopper. It's a new guy every minute!" She shot a dark look at Cari, who simply rolled her eyes and folded her arms. She raised her eyebrows and said: "Well at least I show signs of emotion,Toffee. I don't think you've had one boyfriend in all the time I've known you."
"Well you had a different one each day. And you always went crazy over some book character. I could never keep track of each male that you chose to fantasize about!"
"To be short-she's a whore." Toph concluded. A stony silence followed of course between the two friends.
"Another nickname would be Matchstick." Cari added, breaking the silence and pulling a lock of hair behind her ear to reveal a very battered looking matchstick, "I've always kept some behind my ears, you never know when they're going to be needed!"
"And have you ever needed to use them, Matchstick?" Toph asked in a bored voice, rolling her eyes.
"...No- BUT THE TIME IS APPROACHING! One of these days..." Cari murmured. Absentmindedly she drew out the matchstick and chewed on it for a while.
"She likes to chew them too. Her mother was always taking them off of her..." Toph recollected, smiling at the memory, "But it's not as if they were dry to light anyway. They wouldn't have been much use to you, Lover Matchstick."
Katara, Sokka and Aang (The outsiders of this conversation) just looked at eachother, realizing that they weren't alone in thinking that the conversation Toph and Cari were sharing was one that only primitave lifeforms would have.
"WELL!" Sokka practically shrieked, forgetting his breaking voice, "I think we should all start a fire, it's getting dark and we still haven't eaten-"
"Careful, Tufty, that ice has only just been removed." Katara hissed.
The gang was more or less happy with this arrangement. Although after learning about Cari's infamous romantic antics, Katara seemed to be clinging to Aang a lot more.
"More soup, Aang?" She asked, batting her eyelashes as she plonked herself between Cari and Aang, who had been discussing Penguin Sledding just moments before.
"No I'm ok; those seven bowls will hold me up for the night." Aang said wearily, peering down at his bloated stomach (free of boils, thankfully).
"Well you just say if you want seconds, I mean, eighths." Then she forced some laughter, so tinny and shrill that the whole group winced.
"You just peel yourself away from Aang, there, Sugar queen. I'dlove some seconds!" Toph announced, holding out her bowl.
"You know where the pot is." Katara said, flapping her hand somewhere in Toph's direction, never taking her eyes off of Aang, whilst taking snide glances at Cari, who was wolfing down her helping.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" She asked, raising her eyebrows so high they merged with her loops.
"This is my first bowl!" Cari protested, hereyebrows furrowing and her dark eyes widening, so far that they looked like black holes that could consume the whole universe. AndGod. Or as you Avatar fictioners like to write: The "Spirits"...!
Eventually the envy and disdain died down, and everyone started to go to bed (or just lying down on the ground, because cartoon characters don't require comfort, it seems).
First Aang left, which meant that Katara followed like a puppy. Then Sokka decided to leave, after licking up the last of the soup and belching considerably (only to be topped by Toph).
"I'll see you ladies in the morning!" He said, his voice strained from the stretches he was doing, "Night, Toph." He nodded to her. Cari detected the hint of a blush from her best friend and enemy's porcelain skin. Silently, she watched Sokka crawl into his sleeping bag and waited until she heard a series of squeaky snores.
"Sooo, Toffee." She faked a yawn and stretched out on her back over the grass, jiggling a leg leisurely, "What's the deal with you and Tufty?"
"There is no deal." Toph told her steadily.
Liar, Cari thought in a flash. She smiled, having predicted Toph's complete denial already.
"Are you sure? Nothing going on there?" She asked innocently, but she grinned wildly as she turned to face Toph.
"Yep. Sure." She stated, "Goodnight." And with that she turned over and fell silent.
Cari sighed, stood up and pulled an earth tent out of the ground, like they had done together in countless sleepovers and still smiling, she took her place next to Toph and curled up, closing her eyes and feeling her heartbeat slow as she thought to herself:
I'm sure I can think of a way to get those two together. It's about time Toph got a boyfriend.
"And you can wipe that dumb grin off your face."