AN: I had this drabble last month for Hinata's birthday but didn't send it before waiting for editing but I am sending it now under AU unedited.

Chapter 6

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday! Blow the candle and make wish…

Insecure.

She was insecure. It was in her character. It was not because she had lived a traumatic incident that made her timid, hesitant and fearful. She had always like that since her babyhood. Maybe the incident she had lived during her childhood trigged her being withdrawn, quiet and shy. In spite of being encouraged she had been accused for being weak. Because she couldn’t look into others eyes. She couldn’t talk without stuttering. She couldn’t help but cringe whenever she was talked. She couldn’t help the nervousness she felt whenever someone approached her. There was nothing she could do about her blushing, stuttering, trembling. She was frightened making mistakes, being made of fun.

So she hesitated. Even while taking a step forward she was frightened. What if she failed? What if it was wrong? She needed to be assured even when she had to answer two times two makes four.

Her father was disappointed of her. She was weak as to his standards. She wasn’t good enough to be his daughter, Hyuuga heiress. So she was always scolded, told how much she was not good enough. She would never be good enough… she was blamed for being weak. She was asked why… but she didn’t need these. She needed someone to lend her their strength and push her forward by holding her hand. Not by giving her another kick causing her to fall and fail again.

Maybe everything could be different if people closest to her wouldn’t come over her too much and scold her at her every mistake she could work off her timidity. She could be the wonderful heiress her father wanted her to be. Maybe people who cared about her didn’t try to protect her mentioning (without noticing) how much she was weak.

Her insecure brought the loneliness beside itself. She had troubles communicating people. Having fears for first encounters she kept away from people at the beginning. She couldn’t jump and say what in her mind out. She thought about her sentences over and over but most of them have no courage to give voice to her thoughts were being left unsaid. Because she was afraid she was going to stutter. She doubted she would sound stupid and people would laugh to her. She didn’t have many friends. In fact she couldn’t say she had friends really. There were people around her. Classmates. Teammates. Former ninja. Family members… but while she couldn’t completely say this was my friend she couldn’t dare to ignore them completely either.

While being called weird how could she dare to join to others… especially by the one who she admired a lot?

Worries, doubts, fears had always kept her to improve more, get better, stronger… one day she wishes she would learn to be human too…

Sometimes she wanted to not exist. She wanted to go far away. Away where nobody knew her. Where she wasn’t she… without how people knew her, without her name, without titles, without social status that stuck to her but wherever she went wouldn’t everything would be same. She would always be herself. Even if the people didn’t know her at the beginning in time they wouldn’t be any different from the others she left behind.

Sometimes she wished to die. Because her absence wouldn’t hurt anybody. Since her existence wasn’t necessary… she wanted to die at her birthday; the day which had no specialty while she wasn’t seen worthy by the people she cared.

Loneliness.

He chose to be alone himself. He didn’t seek friendship. He wasn’t interested in what others talked, played. They were nothing to him. Laugh. It was a far away word he left in the past. Because he didn’t deserve to enjoy life while everybody’s rights to live were taken from them by force except him. With the blood on his hands he didn’t deserve to live like a normal human. He was left alive for one purpose. At eight he left being a child. He had been mourning since the day his elder brother massacred their family. Since that day, the day one day before his birthday, he stopped crying for simple things. He stopped worrying for things what were important to others. He didn’t care to make anybody happy or help others. He hated birthday gifts. Because it was the day he mourned loosing his parents. He had only one purpose to continue living. To kill his elder brother and avenge his family.

So he had to be strong and surpass Itachi to kill him. If only he was stronger before his family killed. If only he could do something to stop his elder brother… he trained and trained. He didn’t have time for stupid things like having friends or drooling after girls.

If he left to Orochimaru it was for the promised power. He wasn’t an idiot. Maybe he was blinded by the hatred he felt for his brother but certainly he knew what he was doing. He didn’t go to the snake for his beautiful eye. He had never joined Orochimaru. During the time he was in Sound he worked to get stronger. He made his plans for the day he was going to encounter Itachi.

The first days hurt much. He missed his mother when he was sick. Smelling a known meal on the streets he felt the absence of her a lot. There was nobody to cure his injures anymore. There was nobody there to pull the covers on him in cold weathers when he kicked them off in his sleep. When he pierced his finger while trying to patch the rips on his clothes he felt the absence of her more… Turning he accepted to see his father. He felt the need of him trying to perfect a jutsu. Nobody to lead him, nobody to take care of him he was toughened. He got used to loneliness. Getting used to loneliness he got stronger.

Because of that he had to break all his ties with Konoha. They weakened him. They took him away from his main goal. What they accepted him to do anyway? Sit and wait while everybody around him got better. He took what Konoha could give him. It wasn’t enough. He needed more.

If only his teammates understood him. Let him go and didn’t work too much to bring him back. Why they couldn’t see if he didn’t face his fate how could he continue to live like a normal person with them. Couldn’t they understand it would kill him inside…

The loneliness made him insecure. Because he believed nobody could help him. Nobody could take away the pain he survived. Getting closer to someone was frightened him because he was going to lose them at the end. While he was stabbed from back by his brother how he could trust other people anyway. He couldn’t be friend with anybody without a doubt. He couldn’t let them in that much easily. He was grateful for everything they tried to do for him. For taking away his loneliness even for a while but he had no time for their childish games, promises for beautiful tomorrows. There was no tomorrow for him while the ghost of his brother continued to breathe on his neck.

Sometimes he wished he was someone else. It was just a dream what happened. He wished later he could be a human again.

Silent.

The blood was soaking his back. The warm wetness wasn’t easing even if it was hours. The bundle on his back was getting heavier with every step he took. The injure he himself supported slowed him more. He wished they were found already. Where were the people who didn’t even leave him a second alone now? Couldn’t the sharp noses of the dogs, Inuzaki, Naruto get the sharp irony smell of the blood, belonged to both him and the girl he was carrying? He cursed the girl. Where the hell she came into his fight between him and his brother? He wasn’t a bit help either. Nobody would. They would only cause him trouble like her. They would get used as traps by Itachi for him. Because he was so weak valuing other people’s lives.

She hardly kept her opal eyes open. The lids were getting heavier. It hurt when he adjusted her sliding form. The blood was leaking out as if it was trying to rush away from her and get free. He tried to take care of the wounds but it wasn’t enough. She felt the warm liquid flowing from her arm to her finger tip and dripping to the ground. He was breathing hard. Very panting made her body to rise and fall lightly on his back. He was bleeding himself. Why they couldn’t meet anybody yet? Where were her teammates? Sakura? Naruto…

Alone.

It was too silent in the dept of the forest. It was scaring her. So green. So dark. She couldn’t see sky. For once he was annoyed by the silence. The only thing he heard was the girl’s slow breathing, the rustling of the dried leaves crashed under his ninja shoes and his hard breathing.

Unsafe.

She was dying. She felt. ‘Happy birthday.’ She smiled lightly. She had her wish come true.

He stopped and let the lifeless body fell from his back. Dropping onto his knees he blinked. The red orbs turned black before his eyes closed and his body hit the ground covered with dead leaves.

Failure.

End of Happy Birthday.

6. Pessimistic