Whelp. After having a stimulating conversation, courtesy of Missa, with pillows and blankets and giggles and touches- just kidding- about my lack of SasuSaku support, I wanted to make it up to her and make this, somewhat angst, SasuSaku one-shot.

Yay me?

Don’t own the characters, just a calendar that Missa seriously wants and I feel bad for not buying multiples of beforehand.

-And we’ll dance-

-

You came back into our lives with a strong gust of wind and a fighting refusal of acceptance that the one true purpose in your life was done and over with.

I remember watching you from afar, staring down at that dreadful man’s lifeless corpse, just watching you, watching him, staring down at him as though willing him to wake up again and bring to your life a goal, a reason, a cause to your now seemingly empty, void, spacious world.

I remember crying and the hand on my shoulder, the small footsteps he took forward and the rage you had burst forth with, as if he was the one who committed such atrocity.

But Naruto wasn’t your enemy, never was. Neither was the man you killed, finally, as you had vowed yourself you will so many years ago. Itachi couldn’t even become a sliver of the enemy you yourself had created.

You.

You were your own worst enemy this entire time, Sasuke.

You knew this, and yet, you still continued.

It took three Jounin and Kakashi to get you off him, to pry your hands from the throat of an unsuspecting Naruto. It took three days of complete solitude until Tsunade deemed you sane enough to emerge on to the Konoha grounds. Three days you stood trial, actions and reasons and debated evidence placed on the table in regards to your desertion that granted you a missing nin status-before you were found and deemed a traitor.

Three days of imprisonment and torture, to see if you were lying when you said you were forever loyal to Konoha, you just had your own mission, your own life purpose.

Three days of my weeping, of my incompetence-and just like that, with the snap of your fingers, for those three days I had reverted back to my weakling of a self.

When you finally came back to us I was away on a mission, and the day I came back the first steps I took were in the direction of your home. Upon reaching your door I remember the soft pit-patter of the starting rain on an overcast day and the rumbling of my stomach from being so hungry- not having been able to eat for a day and a half, due to having to stay hidden because of the requirements of the mission, and the heavy pounding of my heart rose above all, thumping loudly until I thought it would clog my throat and stop my very breath.

But you never answered your door, and when it rains it pours, for you were gone again.

It was a dance we were playing, it seemed, one that would last forever.

I had thought initially, once a runaway, always a runaway, but Tsunade had smiled at me and told me the demeaning mission she gave you, the start of trying to gain our trust back into Konoha. I beamed at her unknowingly and held her so tight…irritated, she told me I was delirious and sick and needed the day off, that I should take a walk, she suggested, maybe near the gates.

You were due back in an hour.

I waited and waited, under the board for the lookout stand just to get away from the rain and when you appeared you looked my way blankly for a moment before walking up to me.

Smiling, I never knew how nervous I could be after all these years until you carelessly placed your hand in mine and lead me away.

“I have to report back to the Hokage first, but afterwards…” you trailed off, and I remember the look in your eyes.

Such consternation, yet lack of emotion.

I nodded mutely; dinner was to be the plan. I raced home and put on my best dress and pinned up my hair, light make up with the smell of vanilla coating my skin. I walked on clouds and thought that the rain would stop just for me, just for our first real date, but of course, it didn’t, instead the skies were darker and the rain kept at it.

I didn’t let it spoil my mood though, I couldn’t.

You dressed so plainly, I had to repress a grimace and instead faked a smile and over embarrassed laugh, “Guess I dressed up a little bit too much, huh?” You shrugged and walked away leaving me to run to catch up to, just as you always did, and of course I followed, as I always would, making idle chit chat and giggling as cutely as I could, as flirtatiously as I could, but it never worked, would never work.

We sat down with a plop, drenched because you kept the umbrella somewhat to yourself, and out of anger I had pulled it to me, my insane strength breaking the handle, you tossed it aside with not so much as a blink and we trudged on, getting beat down by the downfall of was most likely, my inner tears screaming out. I felt as though I was walking down a hollow tunnel, and at the end of it was not light but much more darkness, emptiness, a life filled with bland and monotony that couldn’t even be imagined.

We ordered our foods, ate awkwardly, or at least, I had. Paid the bill and then got up to leave, the rains still an onslaught against us.

I had tripped and broken my heel, and I thought, this was it, this was it, why? Why!? What had I done wrong?! And then you turned to me, and you looked down and held your hand out.

“You okay?”

I looked up mutely for a moment about to extend to reach your hand but you had taken in back because, apparently, my moment’s hesitation was too long of a wait for you.

You placed your hands in your pockets and stared down at me, soundlessly.

I fought back a sob.

I got up, not even thinking about how ridiculous I must have looked with my mud soaked dress and wet hair, you turned once again, obviously thinking I was alright, knowing that despite the distance you set between us, I’ll always come running and follow you.

One of these days Sasuke, you’re going to turn around and she won’t be there.

One of those days was now.

The next time I see you, you have flowers in your hand, you are actually apologizing without the words and my heart breaks a little because I had given up on you.

I know it’s too late, but I take them and you inside anyways, and we sit across from one another, silently gazing at one another and before long, the ring on my finger.

One of these days Sasuke, you’re going to turn around and she won’t be there! Instead, she’ll be with me, married and happy, the wife of the next Hokage! And you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself.

“So, you said yes.”

“Yes, I…I did.”

And the pain is almost too much to bear as you get up, no longer able to withstand looking at the engagement ring that sparkles with pride, almost as though this one moment was worst than all in your life.

You look to my face, mouth open, ready to speak, and then it shuts closed enabling you to walk towards the door in a huff. I want to call out but your name is stuck in my throat and-what did you expect after treating me as you did for so many years?!- You turn back once again, intake of breath and then rushed, the first time, so fast that I couldn’t hear. You almost decide not to repeat the word but you do.

“Why.” And the amount of emotion in your voice is a first.

“Because…” because, because, because why would anyone choose Naruto over you Sasuke?

I, of all people, thought I’d be the last.

“Well?” and you are impatient again, believing me to be dangling and playing with your heart carelessly, but then I see it, and I see through you…and I can’t help but think, are you really hurt…hurt that I chose him to be my partner because you loved me…?

Or was it something else?

“Because he has a heart.” I say before I can think it. “Because he loves me.” This, I say, because I know it.

“I have a heart, Sakura. Everyone does.” And I laugh, I laugh a bitter laugh because of course only you would take it so literal, only you, Sasuke…

And I do the unthinkable, as an engaged woman, as someone wiser and stronger and looked up to, I become vulnerable again and indulge in this one moment of serpentine romance and hold you close to my skin, to my body, with my hands, to my heart.

And I laugh, again. Against the fabrics of your clothes, against the warmth of your skin, against the shivers of your body as your hands race up and down my form, earnest, because now I know the real reason as to why you were so mad. Because now I had remembered that second purpose in life –revival of you clan- that needed one key factor, something I had fit the specification of…

And I laugh one last time before crying, choking out the words,

“Funny…you claim you have a heart but…I’ve put my ear to your chest, and guess what…?”

Silence.

“I hear nothing.”

So let me go.

And we’ll dance.