Author: iluvcarlisle PM
Just random drabble and short tales of manly bonding time at the Cullen house...Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,533 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 01-20-08 - Published: 12-27-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3972368
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This one is... disturbing on many levels, but its funny. Now, we all owe a hand to... MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY! (Spelling?" ) Anyway, enjoy.
This is Jasper's point of View.
"Jasper?" Emmett was in one of those moods. One of those scary, funny, infectious moods that means two things. 1. Emmett got booty. (The likely one.) or 2. Emmett has a plan. (Just as likely.)
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes?"
Humor was rolling off of Emmett in waves. "Have you... Have you ever thought of naming your...?" His head kind of twitched down.
I looked totally clueless.
"Your... Yah..." Emmett pointed at his lap.
I gawked at him. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, then opened them. Then I stopped breathing. After ten seconds, I picked up a regular breathing pattern again. "Are you kidding?"
Emmett shook his head.
I laughed like a maniac. "You have to be kidding! I have never ever thought of naming my penis!" I shrieked.
Emmett looked at me, then at his pants. "I was thinking Ken for me."
I sat there in stunned silence. "Are you kidding me?" I repeated the phrase over and over, trying to validate the prank in my head. "You have to be... It must be a-"
"I was thinking Rex for you." He smirked. "You need to man up... its a good, beefy name. And Lord almighty knows Emmett got beef..."
I exhaled. "Not Rex..." I said slowly. "Thats to... rocker... "
Emmett agreed. I perched my chin in my hands and started thinking.
"I got it!" Emmett eventually screamed.
"What?" I hated to admit this, but I was excited to hear the name. "Major." He said finally.
I smiled at him.
"Its perfect." Emmett looked pleased with himself.
But we both knew there was one more person who needed a little help... "Edward?" I said thoughtfully.
"Betsy." Emmett murmured.
"Chip." I volleyed back.
I started laughing. "How about Sophia?"
"Edward!?" I yelled.
He appeared at the door looking totally clueless. "Betsy or Hunter?"
He looked thoughtful. "Hunter."
There you go... I wanted to try that one really bad, so tell me what you think...