|every breath we drew was hallelujah
Author: Neon Genesis PM
She tied you to her kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from you lips she drew the hallelujah. Sasuke and Sakura and everything in between. SasuSaku.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Sakura H. & Sasuke U. - Words: 1,591 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12-29-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3977506
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Every Breath We Drew Was Hallelujah
He is nineteen when he returns—and, Sakura thinks; he is more broken than ever. He is pale and disoriented and bleeding to death and being dragged along by that idiot/dobe/dead-last/orange-thing who is incidentally his best friend. He is more beautiful than ever.
She walks to them and she is confident and purposeful and not in the least nervous or doubtful or perhaps even a bit fearful—not in the least. Her hand trembles as she takes Naruto's hand and leads him to the hospital, glancing back every once in a while to be certain that Sasuke hadn't slipped of Naruto's back.
It takes three hours to stabilize him enough so that there's no chance he could die, because that would simply be cruel and ironic and maybe a little bit like justice, but she doesn't say so, because after all these years and shattered dreams and tears, he is still Sasuke-kun.
He is in his hospital bed, staring blankly at the equally blank wall, when she enters the room with a bouquet of lilies which she arranges meticulously in a vase by his bedside. She still hasn't looked at him.
She turns slowly, sits on the edge of the bed, and carefully places her head on his shoulder—for he is sitting up, not lying down, because it's the middle of the day and his mother taught him that it was bad manners to lie down in the middle of the day when you're not sick, and he's not sick (Liar a small voice whispers in his head), and he remembers what his mother told him and he listens to her still, and that is a little bit sad in itself. She still hasn't looked at him.
Sasuke shifts uncomfortably, because she hasn't said anything and she's acting strange and she smells like lavender and she's in his bubble, dammit! But he isn't going to talk first—no, he is not.
"Hallelujah," she says.
"Hallelujah," he repeats, incredulously, and she draws back and she grins at him, truly grins, and her eyes are green, he thinks, and—
She nods. "Hallelujah."
"Was it worth it?" she asks quietly, one rainy afternoon in the hospital when she is sitting on the side of the bed and he is resting his head on her shoulder—he's tired, and he is sick of those stupid, too-soft hospital pillows, he tells himself.
She smiles at him, and it might be a wise smile, it might be an insightful smile, and it might be just a little bit sad. "Yes," she murmurs, "I thought you might say that."
"Get up, get up!" she orders as she throws him out of the hospital bed (literally, throws, he winces) and begins to strip the sheets.
"What the hell?" he asks as he massages his aching temples.
"We're going," she says as she applies new, fresh sheets that don't smell like Sasuke-kun, it occurs to her, and she smiles to herself.
"Going where?" He always was a cautious one, full of doubt and suspicion and carefully considered, weighed decisions.
She glances at him over her shoulder. "We're going home."
They are halfway out the hospital door when he finally learns that yes, he had been released, and that no, she wasn't actually kidnapping him.
"Sakura, where are we going?" he persists, dissatisfied with her short, vague answers.
She sighs and holds out her hand to him. "Follow me." It isn't really a command or a threat or a plead or anything that would have convinced him to go in the past. There is no or else attached, no one is forcing him, but he listens, and he takes her hand anyway.
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
They arrive at the Uchiha complex, and Sasuke would have stopped and stared (except Uchiha don't stare, he reminds himself; they observe and, and analyze, for future reference. Yes) at the shockingly dust-free streets and houses, but Sakura still has his hand and she is still walking, so he grips her hand like a lifeline and follows her.
When he sees Naruto sitting on the steps to his house, grinning, that bastard, he almost turns around and walks back to the hospital, to ask if Konoha currently had a mental asylum and could they accept him as a patient, please?, but Sakura lets go of his hand and runs up the steps to Naruto, and in a sudden burst of impulse, he follows.
So they live there, he and Sakura and Naruto, and they are a family, Sasuke thinks, Sakura says, Naruto grins, and Sasuke thinks that maybe he is happy—or content, or at least not severely pissed-off, but it doesn't really matter when Sakura takes Sasuke's right hand and Naruto's left and tows them off to the grocery store, because if you pick it out yourselves you'll definitely eat it, right? and then to that damnable, nostalgic ramen shack.
He is on probation for two years, confined to the village, so with nothing to do other than beat up trees (most people had wisely opted not to spar with him and Naruto, always being an exception to the most category was frequently on missions), Sasuke accompanies Sakura at the hospital (damn it, he just got out of there) and scowls at the patients who get overly friendly with her--she had already smacked him upside the head for snarling.
At the end of the day he walks her home and snarls at the pedestrians who get overly friendly with her. Sakura is a very pretty girl, Sasuke not-really-acknowledges; and she doesn't mind if he snarls at random passersby. Sometimes she will take his hand and others he will take hers and sometimes they just walk side-by-side, but it always leaves Sasuke with that warm feeling he desperately wants to eradicate but pleads with not to end.
After a year Naruto moves out to live with Hinata, and Sasuke lives alone with Sakura, which isn't really living alone at all. The day he moved out, Naruto clapped Sasuke on the shoulder and whisper conspiratorially in his ear, "You better have kissed her before I get married." That idiot. As if Sasuke would ever do anything like that. Still, that night at dinner, he snuck such blatant and obvious glances at Sakura that they put the whole shinobi-stealth code to shame. Sakura, mercifully, pretended not to notice.
There were many nights that Sasuke had nightmares. Some just startled him awake, others left him panting and frightened. Some nights Sakura heard his distress and ghosted into his bed, others he steeled himself and crept to hers. Some nights he sucked it up and took it like an Uchiha.
One night after a particularly bad nightmare, Sakura stroked his hair away from his sweaty, clammy face, where his head rested on her lap, and sang quietly, mournfully,
"Baby, I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah…"
Sakura strokes his hair and Sasuke sleeps.
The first time he kisses her, his palms are sweaty and he grips her shoulders tightly, but his lips are gentle and his eyes are soft. She presses her hands against his chest, and her eyelids lower. They break apart, and she touches his face. "And every breath we drew was hallelujah," she promises.
They marry in a secluded little grove overlooked by willow trees. Sasuke frowns at her, because hadn't she always wanted a large wedding? She smiles at him. "Don't fret your pretty little head, Sasuke-kun." She lifts their intertwined hands as proof of her happiness with the small ceremony, and Sasuke thumps her head with his fist.
They are twenty-three and sitting on the porch, watching the sunset, because she always insists on silly, romantic things like that. She watches the sunset, he watches her.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun?" she glances up from where she is lying in his arms.
She smiles. "Hallelujah."
"Hallelujah," he agrees.
All I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
But sometimes Sasuke thinks that for Sakura and himself, it's more and it's less and it's everything in between, but it is a hallelujah.
So, yeah. This didn't turn out at all like I thought it would. I know it's kinda rambly and longwinded and random and all what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-ish, but I kinda like. Yeah.
Wow, I haven't written Naruto in a while. Am I the only person who's extremely dissatisfied with the current chapters? Maybe I'm just bitter...
The lyrics are random snippets of "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright.
Standard disclaimers applied.
Reviews make me happy and not-bitter.