Sunlight streamed in through the window, opened to the morning breeze in hopes of lessening the sweltering heat. Light sweat dotted Lily's forehead and her cheeks flushed against the heavy air, her chest falling up and down in a quick rhythm. She felt slick moisture under her arms, trickling down her seemingly cold skin and soaking into her worn blouse.

She licked her mouth absently, tongue rolling over her top lip, which was more defined and thicker than the bottom. A ridge had placed itself on her lips, cracked down the center from the dry climate and her frequent licking. Her fingers were slick against the bare mattress, her bedding thrown on the floor and waiting to be washed. The room looked oddly naked without the usual flower duvet on the bed; the Led Zeppelin and The Who posters seemed to be enveloped by the white walls entirely.

Closing her eyes to the stinging from the sunlight, her mind flashed to a familiar scene in her thoughts; one of Severus on the ground, fighting for control over his body, his voice high with emotion as he cruelly called her a Mudblood. She whispered the word to herself now, testing the affect and sound of it on her own lips, measuring the way her tongue touched the roof of her mouth. It was a horrible word, one that for centuries had been used to discriminate against people like her. People who had suffered painful persecution. Severus had no right to say such a word, no right for he had mud running through his veins as well.

The awful image of actual mud pumped through a body -- from the heart, through veins -- added to her already turning thoughts. It disgusted her to even think of such things. She couldn't understand how someone accepted social ranks, especially someone like Severus. He should've known better, known the connotation and how much it would anger her.

Part of her hated him. Though, she wanted him sitting next to her right now. She wanted to walk to the playground and see him. An alienated feeling began to creep inside her, twisting her stomach and forcing her throat to tighten, not allowing air to her lungs. If she were so sure of her decision to not be his friend anymore, why did she feel like this then? Why did she desperately want him next to her, talking to her in his way, his eyes burning into her.

Her eyes began to sting in that familiar way, and she willed herself not to cry. She couldn't cry, not with the state of things, not with her silence toward Severus and her mother in the other room, weak with failing health. Failing health. She'd heard those words over and over again these past months. They were the proper way of saying her mother was dying. Cancer of the lungs -- years of smoking Dunhill fags had finally caught up with her, and that growth in her lungs, killing her day by day.

What would Lily do without her mother? She lay with her eyes close, pondering the idea of coming home and seeing just her father, gray and balding, those deep lines on his forehead becoming deeper and deeper. No hope for her family now. It was her mother that kept everyone together, it was her mother that made Petunia still speak to Lily. Her father had never been home much, and now during such a hard time he was gone more than not.

There was tapping on the window and she sat up, stretching her legs over the side of the bed, light hair dusted against her exposed thighs. The tapping became more persistent, and she looked to the window, wondering why the owl didn't just hop into her room.

"Well?" she said to the gray owl, motioning into the room. "I'm glad Mildred was able to respond so soon."

The owl jumped on the windowsill and stayed there, his clawed feet clasping and reclasping the metal jamb, his round eyes blinking up at her. He lifted a leg and allowed her to untie the small parchment from his claw. She looked quickly for the bowl of owl treats, knowing better than to leave the animal with no payment. A nasty scar on her thumb told of her earlier mistake.

Munching quickly on her treat, the owl flew off and Lily unfolded the message, reading it with slight anticipation.

Be there soon. Hope you don't mind. Mum bringing me.

Mildred

Rare excitement surged through her, and she jumped to her feet, realising how much work she still needed to do. Wash bedding, feed mum, the dishes. . . She feared that Mildred would have to wait until she finished her chores, then what would they do? They obviously couldn't stay in the house with her mother sick in the other room.

She bent over and bundled up her bedding, walking out of her room and down the hallway. When she crossed into the laundry room, she scowled slightly at the sight of Petunia washing clothes.

"I need to wash my blankets," Lily said, her voice forceful.

Petunia looked at her and shrugged. "You'll have to wait. I'm using the machines right now."

Lily huffed a sigh and walked back to her room, dumping the bedding unceremoniously on the floor. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her anger. No need to be angry at Petunia, just because she's a sodding snob doesn't mean she deserves it. She suddenly heard Severus' voice. Of course she bloody well deserves it. Your sister is a downright bitch, and you know it!

Blinking away a faint smile on her lips, she walked across the hallway and knocked softly on her parents' door, waiting for a response. There was rustling of sheets, then a quiet voice beckoning her in. Opening the door slowly, Lily made her way into the room, blind to the darkly lit surroundings.

"Mum, I want to know what you want for breakfast," Lily said, her steps hesitant. It scared her to see her mother this way.

"Eggs and toast would be nice, Lily," breathed her mother, the voice a harsh, raspy tone. She struggled to sit up and look at her.

"Don't move. I'll make it right now."

Her mother's face was evident to the cancer consuming her body; the skin on her round cheeks had shown colour and her eyes wide and revealing emotion, but now her personality was drowned out by yellow and withered skin. A shadow had placed itself around her eyes, forming dark circles and causing a swelling of skin. Lily couldn't bare to look at her mother, to see all her fears become reality. Disillusionment was upon her.

Gulping silently, Lily blinked away tears, loathing herself for the pity which dotted her consciousness. It was ever more frequent, this useless question of why me? People lose their parents everyday, she was not special. People die. You must move on. End of story.

"I'll be right back." She thought of telling her mother that Mildred was coming over, but found it irrelevant. Why tell her mother someone would be in the house if she never left this room anyway?

Closing the door behind her, Lily made her way down to the kitchen, hand trailing on the railing as she descended the stairs. The gray and brown porcelain floor tiles were cold against her bare feet, and she yearned for the heating spell that was found in Mildred's home. She collected three eggs from the refrigerator and cut a few pieces of bread from the loaf. Wheat bread with scrambled eggs. Easy but delicious.

Cracking the eggs open on the side of the counter, she quickly whisked them together, ignoring some of the yolk that had dripped onto her fingers. It was a mindless task, heating the pan and adding butter, and her thoughts drifted back to Severus. What he was doing now. If he was safe.

She thought of his friends, Rosier and Mulciber, if you could call them friends. Awful, horrible people who seemed to not understand that others had feelings and felt it every time they directed their hatred toward them. Lily supposed they enjoyed it, knowing most younger students feared them. There were rumors about whom was interested in Rosier and Mulciber. Him. Vold--emort. He Who Must Not Be Named. Could Severus also be in danger? They were all still so young, only sixteen. How could they be any help to an anarchic group at this stage of their life.

It was a comfort to know that Severus still had a year before he became of age. One year to maybe change for the better. To see his mistakes and realise his faults before it was too late. It was said He Who -- Voldemort had the facial features of a snake, that he killed willingly and without regret. An icy hand squeezed at Lily's heart when she thought about Severus being under His control.

She thought of the way he had looked that night after their fight, standing in the corridor and trying to apologise. His eyes had been round with desperation, his face flushed with emotion, lips parted and chest heaving. She remembered the fury inside her, blinding her to the pain evident on his face. She had hurt him, but god, what he had called her. All those times before when he had lost his temper, his jealousy and unpredictable reactions. It was pure frustration. She had known it but had done nothing. Frustration for what? That had been the mystery of it all. Years and years of heated glances, of his jealousy surfacing when other people were concerned.

What did Severus think of her? She was everything he seemed to be against, that was clear when he had called her a Mudblood. Was it revulsion that he felt whenever he looked at her, or was there something else, something which had been there ever since they had been kids. She bit her lip in secret hope, her chest constricting to the thought of Severus having -- well, whatever he had for her.

Blinking quickly, she scowled at nothing in particular, angry at herself for thinking something so foolish. Severus had been a mistake; their whole friendship had been a mistake. She was sure he knew it as well.

CRACK!

Lily jumped into the air, confusion forming within her disorientated thoughts. Her heart pounded, blood rushing through her veins. She turned and saw Mildred standing in the center of her kitchen, a bemused look on her face. Mildred's mother appeared apologetic.

"Lily, so sorry for frightening you," her mother said, glaring at Mildred from the side. "I thought you said you told her we were coming!"

Mildred shrugged, her brown eyes twinkling with laughter. "It's not my fault she didn't get my owl."

"I received it just fine," Lily answered, hand clutching at her chest, heart drumming under her fingers. "I was just unprepared, that's all."

"How's your mum doing?" Mrs Salisbury asked, her powered face glum. She seemed to concentrate all her pity on Lily, and slight annoyance coursed through her.

"She's doing as well as expected." She knew her voice was terse, but her reaction was involuntary.

Mildred made a face, then rolled her eyes at her mother. She sighed and said, "I think I can handle it from her. I'll owl you when I want to come back."

Tearing her eyes from Lily, Mrs Salisbury looked at her daughter, lips pursing. "Your grandmother is visiting. You can't stay for too long, remember. I doubt Mrs Evans wants you here for more than a few days, anyway."

"Oh, mum doesn't mind," Lily said quickly, glancing at Mildred and biting her lip to not smile.

Mrs Salisbury nodded, but looked to Mildred, raising her hand to smooth her hair down. "Be sure to not bother her mother, you hear. Don't get into trouble."

"I got it."

"Bye, Lily. Tell your mother I wish her well."

"I will," Lily said, but her voice was drowned out by the loud sound of Apparation.

"I don't think your mum is too happy with you."

Mildred shrugged. "Like I care. I can't wait to learn how to Apparate this year. Finally I can get away from her." Her voice was slightly pretentious, annoyed about her mother's attention on her. Though, Lily could understand. It was one of the few advantages of her mother being sick -- no pestering.

"What are you doing?" Mildred asked, leaning against the counter and looking at the eggs and toast.

"I just finished making breakfast for mum. You want some?"

Mildred frowned comically, her eyes widening. "You can do that yourself. No way I want to see your mother right now."

"I didn't ask you to give it to her. You want some?"

"No," Mildred answered, pulling herself up to sit on the counter. Her feet banged against the cabinet.

"Wait here for a second so I can take it to her."

"Got it. Hey, what are we gonna do?"

Lily didn't respond as she walked out of the kitchen, carrying a small plate. She'd figure that out after.

Darkness was forming around them, the distant sun creating a yellowy haze throughout the sky and horizon. They sat on a cement curb, watching Muggles pass in their cars and on foot. It was strange that Lily had begun to think of them as Muggles, just not as people but a whole other race which didn't understand her ways.

She stared down at her freckled legs, her shorts riding up her thighs and brown sandals pushing rocks away. Even though it was almost night, heat still pressed against her face and neck, her skin reddening from the last rays of sun. She sighed and turned her attention to Mildred, embarrassed that she hadn't planned something more exciting for them to do.

"What's in your hand?" Lily asked, watching her roll something between her hands.

Mildred shrugged, responding, "Just a fag this boy gave him. It broke in my pocket though, hoping to salvage it."

Rolling her eyes, Lily said, "Why did he give it to you?"

"Dunno, maybe wanted to impress me. You should have been there. He really didn't have to try. So fit, you know."

Lily sucked on her bottom lip, imagining Mildred flirting with some boy with a brilliant smile and sunglasses. "What did he look like?"

"Oh, god! He sort of looked like Sirius Black -- "

Lily groaned.

" -- but not as mentally challenged, you know?"

She snorted into her hand, laughing loudly. Black really did look like he had a deficient disorder. Always loud and disruptive in class. It made Lily want to scream just thinking about it.

Mildred seemed proud of her joke. "Well, anyway, he had the black hair and it was perfect, like all he did was sit and style his hair all day. Tall, looked so good in his trousers. I seriously found myself squeezing my legs together."

"What color were his eyes?"

"Dark -- like brooding eyes. It was sexy."

Lily sighed deeply. This was making her heart beat faster. It was ridiculous. "What was his name?"

Pausing, Mildred said, "Dunno, but it's not like I cared." Lily could hear the smile in her voice.

"It's better when they don't speak. Then you don't know what imbeciles they are."

"Yeah, like Sirius Black."

Lily found herself agreeing. "Like Sirius Black."

Frowning deeply, she thought of Severus, her face paralyzing as she remembered all those times he had called Black names. Fucking cocksucker with no brain and no talent except looking like a damn fucking pansy! Lily had always liked it when he cursed. It was exhilarating.

"What are you thinking about, Lily?" Mildred's voice was soft.

"I -- dunno," Lily responded, her lips unmoving, her eyes blind to the surrounding area.

Mildred snorted. "I hate to admit it, but you can be pathetic sometimes."

Lily didn't respond, her mind unable to release the memories of Snape scowling at Black, making faces at him, hexing him.

"Lily. This is creepy. Stop it."

"What?"

"Stop thinking about Snape! I thought you were never speaking to him."

Lily blinked, then looked at her. "I'm not."

"But you still think about him? It doesn't make sense."

"He was my friend -- "

"Was is the key word. What he did to you. That's just fucking tasteless. How dare you allow him to get to you now."

"I'm not -- "

"No good bastard. He's always left a bad taste in my mouth."

"He's not that bad."

Mildred squinted at her. "Are you kidding me? Do you remember what happened? How dumb are you!"

Lily began to retort, but realised how ridiculous she was being. Severus was a bastard. Mildred was absolutely right.

"I'm sorry. He's just been in my thoughts lately."

"I have an idea," Mildred said, standing up and looking risque.

Suspicious, Lily asked, "What do you have in mind?"

Mildred pulled out two eggs from her pocket. "Hope you don't mind, but I nicked them when you were feeding your mum."

Lily arched her eyebrow. "What are we going to do with some eggs?"

"Where does Snape live?" Mildred asked, barely able to suppress her grin.

Lily realised what she had planned. "No. No, we can't."

"Yes we can."

"No."

"Oh, yes."

It took them minutes to cross the river and find his house in Spinner's End. Lily couldn't believe she was going along with it, but part of her wanted revenge. She also wanted to see him again, and the idea that Mildred wouldn't have enough nerve to do it was also a comfort.

His house stood silently in front of them now, the industrial paint chipped and water-stained. It was a cramped sort of place, looked as if it would collapse at any moment. Lily had only been in it once, when they were twelve. Severus' parents hadn't been home and Lily pressured him into showing his room to her.

Severus had been so nervous, watching Lily's face as she inspected the place he had grown up. It had been sweet, charming, and ridiculous. He should've known that he could have lived in a box, and Lily wouldn't have cared. Sodding bastard.

Mildred didn't hesitate. Taking an egg from her pocket, she pointed at one of the top windows. "Is that where his bedroom is?"

Lily nodded, anticipation forming within her stomach. She was surprised by her own recklessness. Mildred had that affect on her.

Mildred nodded, then stepped back and threw the egg with all her strength at the window. It splattered against the glass with a loud bang. Lily was relieved the window didn't break.

"SUCK THAT, SNAPE!"

There was an immediate reaction. Commotion could be heard from inside the house, then the door flung open, revealing a bewildered looking Mrs Snape. It took her a second to realise what had occurred, then her heavy eyebrows lowered, eyes coldly staring at Lily and Mildred.

"Can I help you?" she asked, her voice obnoxious it's tone. For sure she was angry.

Lily reddened instantly, cheeks burning with embarrassment. What had she been thinking? She struggled to say something, but the words caught in her throat, prohibiting her speech.

Mrs Snape seemed to clench her teeth together. "If you are looking for Severus," she began slowly, voice dangerously low, "he doesn't live here anymore. Now leave before I make you clean up the splattered egg."

Horror struck Lily. "What? Why? Where did he go?"

The woman slammed the door without answering and Lily was left feeling worse than she had been. Not because of the egg, but the knowledge that Severus wasn't at home. That she didn't know where he was anymore. He could get hurt!

Mildred snorted.

"Be quiet," Lily said quietly, her heart sinking.

To be continued.