1. The new band room is so 2009!

2. You cried when you were told the old fire escape was taken away from the band room.

3. You wish you knew why you love band, but nothing comes to mind.

4. You know you’re a band geek when everything you own has a musical note on it.

5. You hum your parts down the hallway, scaring your peers and staff.

6. You’re terrified of having a cousin in band.

7. She’s gonna brag 24/7

8. That’s ok, life’s full of many band surprises.

9. Pin the valve on the sousaphone!

10. Break open the bass drum head.

11. Break dance with the marimba players.

12. I’m in a band! I’m in a band! Everybody look at me cause I’m in marching band! I’m in a band! I’m in a band! Took a good hard look at the fuckin’ marchin’ band! Yeah! (Seriously, I have an arrangement on here; look for it ;D)

13. Remind me to STOP listening to Lonely Island, just because it annoys fellow bandies.

14. Also, I caution use of these songs that I make: band kids will cause serious injury upon hearing the band name being tainted as so.

15. Giving out your phone number to random band kids.

16. Doing said giving away while putting away instruments.

17. You sorta like to dance for your fellow band peers.

18. You love how your ex went from a sousa player to a trumpet player….who really can’t play.

19. You hate kids who don’t try to play.

20. You love marching band so much, you dedicate most of your time to trying to help it and the equipment out.

21. Chit chatting with marimba players, because they’re people too.

22. The BD and the lead bass drummer….have a relationship you really don’t want to know about.

23. They’re both boys, if you get what I mean.

24. You bring your laptop with you to band events to record the epic events that should encounter your band

25. You have a tendency to forget where your music is…a lot.

26. You meet various bandies from the schools in your county….at the county fair.

27. The funny part was you weren’t even trying.

28. You allow the lead tenor sax player to name all your stuffed animal children.

29. You’ve finally allowed the integration of guard into your family.

30. You hope to make the guard girl realize that sometimes men are jerks and you don’t need them; no matter how good lookin’ or smooth talkin’ they might be (I know, I finally sounded black…).

31. You hope that one day your band friends meet again in the real world.

32. You wonder how you fall for all the guitarists and percussionists in bands…

33. The sousaphone players from other bands…will be attacked by at least two of the sousas from your school

34. If your football team can’t win the games, join marching band. J

35. When life gives you a new sousaphone, give it to the kid who can’t play for crap (yeah, our BD did this because he’s section leader…bleh).

36. You try to explain to other bandies what life was before there was a high enrollment.

37. They’ll never understand the yelling and beating.

38. I guess you could depict band camp as a place of perpetual evil.

39. Everybody’s favorite summer activity is playing their instrument and perfecting their amature and much, much more.

40. You just now realize that your mouth probably hurts so much from the vast amounts of instruments you play in one day.

41. Can you help it that you play a different instrument for each band?

42. And that your guidance counselors insist that you be in four bands EACH DAY?

43. You giggle snort at the various ways people try to play their instruments.

44. The band director assumes that the lead trumpet had ‘female’ issues when she merely had poison ivy.

45. You wish the smart board was used more often in band.

46. Even though you absolutely hate smart boards.

47. Lately, your band director has been extremely perverted.

48. You now know what the BD is like in an elite class: he cusses a lot more

49. The BD can have full scale conversations…with his three cats.

50. He really hates Sassy.

51. Of course, you would too, if she peed on your expensive bedding.

52. You’re having horrible success re-writing ‘Jizz In My Pants’ as a band song.

53. Man, you wish you could get pep charts for Lonely Island songs.

54. You meet Miami Trace’s lovely three sousas…who are all boys. Ironically, the only boy sousa is out of town, and there are conveniently three girl sousas..

55. When life gives you lemons, you make awesome smelling mouthpieces.

56. More than half your band cried when they say that the MUSIC DEPARTMENT was the first to be demolished from the old high school.

57. Pin the bell on the sousaphone!

58. Pin the reed on the clarinet/saxophone mouthpiece?

59. Make out sessions with someone you’re not even dating.

60. Playing the nervous game with your band sons and you hit a pot hole, causing your hand to actually go down their pants.

61. But you know you liked it.

62. The asst. BD finally ‘came out of the closet’ (we have a LARGE storage closet).

63. The BD has been waiting for it.

64. The sophomore and freshman sousas fight…constantly over working tubas.

65. You’re so glad you’re a junior, because you can get away with anything.

66. The BD and the asst. BD call for sousaphone intervention; WHILE THE SECTION LEADER IS OUT PARTYING

67. You love reminiscing on the times you’ve cried in band.

68. God, how were you able to make it this far? You were so effing annoying.

69. We go through a maturity phase by sophomore year.

70. You miss the field commander from 2008’s marching band so much, you add her on FB and tell her all the new things.

71. The BD hates whining flute players.

72. Especially freshman flute players.

73. So glad…I was never a flute player.

74. Really unhappy that I am a ‘bone player however, because now I teach 6th grade ‘bones and clarinets how to play their instruments!

75. Why was I destined to play so much!?

76. When your partner in crime finally comes back from partying, you cry and hug him and wish he would realize how much you really did miss him.

77. You love all the analogies that BD makes towards the white kids in band

78. The BD hates talking about uniforms: concert band and marching band both!

79. The band has taken on the liberty of taking famous politicians and rulers of different countries’ names.

80. How the heck did I get stuck with Condi?

81. Eh, that’s ok, because apparently the lead sousa and his ex, the freshman sousa, are Bill and Hilary Clinton…

82. You bring your boyfriend, a commoner, to the football games; he’s very confused on the culture.

83. Your bf LOVES comparing the HHS band to Adams County.

84. You make pictures of the band and have people play “Guess Who”.

85. Winners get cookies! Losers: Euthanized -- The old fashioned way!

86. Picnicface and College Humor are a great part of the band bus.

87. You hate London’s hot chocolate (London, Ohio’s hot chocolate tastes like hot, watered-down Yoo-hoo!)

88. You need to take on a part time job, to pay for all your instrumental needs.

89. Your substitutes stare you down while you’re writing these one hundred band things

90. College essays on marching band! You hope it appeases your foreign English teacher.

91. You love the fact that your math teacher understands the marching band members.

92. You love using Spanish terms on the others in band, because no one understands you!

93. Especially if you and the field commanders start speaking it fluently.

94. I am going to make a sign for marching band, both in English and Spanish! Woot!

95. The BD unintentionally keeps making gay jokes.

96. And sexual jokes.

97. You’ve broken the rules for once, and sat with your band sons on the way back from the games.

98. You’re surprised that no one killed your partner in crime on the way back from Kentucky.

99. You inspect your instrument for peer damages; people love throwing projectiles into both you and the sophomore’s sousaphones.

100. You really wish you could control yourself from making these incredibly stupid band lists.

I dedicate this chapter to 2009-2010 seniors: Laura Eigel, Aubrey Griego, and Lizzie Keister. I lovez them.