Co-written with Elly-rox5.

Summary- Snape and Hermione fall in love with some interesting results…

Hermione is in bold, Snape is in normal, Ron is italicized, and Dumbledore is underlined.

WARNING!! WRITTEN WITH ABOUT 2 HOURS OF SLEEP!!!

“Professor! I have a question about my grade on this paper! You said I didn’t include anything about the properties of moonstone, but you can clearly see it right here…”

“Well, Miss Granger, I don’t think you made enough effort to show the fact you know anything about it, because I know you do.”

“But sir, I know the properties of moonstone! It’s not my fault that Ron kept me up all night... I really shouldn’t have said that.”

“Well, um… You should have come for extra help, which would have been helpful to you.”(Wink Wink)

“Umm, Professor, you yelled at me when I tried to come for extra help first year. Is your eye twitching?”

“Miss Granger, I don’t need you picking out my optical problems! And, you were a twitty-know-it-all in First but now…Excuse me…”

“Professor Snape! Come back! Please… Severus.”

“Miss Granger, I can’t be alone with you…I get these feelings…Please LEAVE!”

“I get them too.”

“Holy Shit, you do…I…I love you…”

“Oh Sevvy!”

“Would you…um…like to come to my dungeon…to see…some (weirdly shaped) test tubes?” (Wink Wink)

“Only if it’s your (weirdly shaped) test tube!”

“Don’t tease me Hermy…COME! LETS GO!” Just then a class of First years walked in. “Class is dismissed Twits! LEAVE!”

“Oh Snape!” Hermione slapped him. “You are denying the first years their lesson! Knowledge is a gift! You are not the man I thought you were!”

“Hermy, please…I love you…Come to my dungeon…I’ll make you feel better,” (Wink Wink)

“Take me, Take me, babe” Snape grabs Hermione and runs to the dungeon.

A few hours later…

Snape and Hermione are…um…looking at (weirdly shaped) test tubes… When, Ron came in!

“Hermione! I thought you loved me! All those special moments together! Oh Hermy, how could you?!”

“Hey, my nickname for her is Hermy!”

“Oh, Ron, I was only with you to make Sevvy jealous, and everyones always wanted us together through the whole series…Ron, LEAVE! Sevvy and I have some…finishing up to do…”

“You’ll pay for this Snape! I’ll get my honey bear back!”

A few days later…

Dumbeldore comes into Hermione’s divination class and calls her out.

“Hermione, I need to talk to you about something Ron told me.”

“Holy Shit, Ron walked in on me and Sevv…I mean…Snape…we were…”

“I know, Hermione…Snape took advantage of your beauty…(akward!!!)…he is fired…what he did was illegal…aren’t you glad Ron told? He protected you!’

“hat Asss!!!!!!!!!! And Professor, aren’t you gay? Why would you think I’m beautiful? I LOVE Sevvy! He is my guy! We love to be together!!!!!”

“I’M BISEXUAL! And that’s still illegal…”

Two weeks later…

Hermione take her broom and flies to Askaban…

“You ass! I’m pregnant! You’re in jail…What am I going to do? I hate you!”

“I don’t know Hermione! And if you came all this way just to yell at me, you clearly don’t have a life anymore so JUST GO DIE!!!”

“I’m not naming my baby SEVERUS!!! You go die!”

Nine months later…

Hermione gave birth to one butt ugly greasy baby who she named…RONALD!!! Ron was her true love deep down, she owed it to him to name the baby that…well, that’s what would have happened, but Hermione killed herself by throwing herself off her broomstick on her way back from Askaban…

After finding out, Snape killed himself. Since Hermione was nice she went to heaven, but since Snape was mean he… didn’t go to heaven. So, they still couldn’t be together,

FIN!