|Jumping to Conclusions
Author: Chibi Lover XDDD PM
Poor Naruto always jumps to conclusions when he hears Sasuke speak. Crackfic. SasuNaru.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Naruto U. & Sasuke U. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,972 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 04-12-08 - Published: 01-02-08 - Status: Complete - id: 3987065
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Hey guys! I can't believe I'm actually writing a chapter 2 for this fic. But incase you're wondering, the reason for doing this is NOT because of plot bunnies, OR the fact that I got more reviews for this story than my others put together, or even because of requests for a sequel. The simple reason for this update is Chapter 397 of the Naruto manga. I mean, Sasuke actually criedbig emo tears! Of BLOOD (If you're wondering why this is so important, read the A/N at the bottom of the last chapter)! I couldn't NOT write this!
Disclaimer: (checks piggybank) Nope, I don't have enough money to buy Naruto. I don't even have enough money to buy (shudder)Orochimaru.
Warnings: After reading this fic, you will lose about 10 IQ points. And all belief that ramen isn't an aphrodisiac. It's already too late for Naruto. OOC, sexual context
Ja Ne XDDD
Using Naruto's frustration, Sasuke convinced Naruto that he didn'tlike Sakura, and was gay, too, which gave him the opportunity to take Naruto to his room (he drew the line at Konoha Academy) where they had sex, made love, did the horizontal tango, attempted to make manbabies, etc. Naruto had himself balled up, in the far corner of the bed, desperately attempting to avoid eye contact with the youngest Uchiha. That's when a scantily dressed Sasuke turned over and said,
"What's wrong, Naruto?"
"You took my innocence" said Naruto, still averting his gaze.
"Awe, come on, Naruto, it couldn't have been that bad"
"That bad?! You raped me!"
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did!"
"You can't rape the willing."
"I WASN'T WILLING!"
"Oh, really" Sasuke said, a smirk forming on his pale lips. "You could've fooled me. You know, with all the, 'More, Sasuke!'s and 'Harder, Sasuke!'s you were practically screaming out."
"I-I did not!" Naruto stammered out.
Sasuke's smirk was now apparent. He even through in a little bit of fake shock as he said, "You didn't? But if that wasn't you moaning, then who was it?" With that statement, he pulled out a tape recorder, which was play a voice shockingly similar to Naruto's, breathlessly calling out Sasuke's name in between moans.
"You BASTARD!" screamed Naruto, as came out of his ball, dashing for the tape recorder and smashing it into pieces.
"Go ahead and break it. The quality wasn't nearly as good as the video I made or the DVD, or the-"
Naruto drove his tanned fist into Sasuke's face, breaking his nose. Sasuke's body didn't even flinch at the strong contact, and he maintained his usual expressionless face, even though the warm red liquid was dripping down his nose and falling into his mouth as he opened it. Naruto growled, and tried to look scary, but since he was still blushing, and only had a silk blanket covering very little of his tanned body, he didn't look threatening at all.
"I'll never forgive you, Sasuke!"
"Why won't you 'ever forgive me'?" Sasuke said, clearly unfazed by this empty threat.
"This was never supposed to happen! At least… not like this!"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I… I pictured myself being…" Naruto's blush deepened "on top."
"Impossible." Sasuke said flatly.
"WHY NOT?!" Naruto yelled.
"Because I'm taller, stronger, more buff, older, and more mature. Plus, I refuse to be uke."
"You can't rape the willing."
"Go to hell, you emo-bastard who is one with the stick up his ass!"
"As I recall, you were the one with a stick up his ass last night, NarUKE-chan."
"So…" Sasuke started. "You wanna do it again?"
"… Sure, why not."
"Can we do it at Konoha Academy?"
And so, they lived happily, and lustfully, ever after.
A/N:Sorry it's so short. I did this in like, 2 hours while listening to my ipod. I honestly thought that this chapter was going to stay in Microsoft Word, halfway finished until I decided to just forget the whole thing. (Places a copy of story on alter and lights candles) Does this please you, plot bunnies?
Every time a person reads my stories without reviewing, a chibi gets denied a cookie. This time, it's a chibi Sakura. If you don't give her cookies, she can't get fat and even more unattractive, and Naru-chan won't be able to fall out of love with her, so he'd never fall in love with Sasuke as Sakura loses her foot to diabetes. (I don't hate Sakura anymore, but I recognize the fact that a lot of SasuNaru fans do)
Ja Ne XDDD