Me: There is no explanation for this one… I was just listening to Blue October’sCongratulations, and I started writing. Ah… I love Blue October! The next time I go to a music place, I’m getting another CD… Although, having discovered I have plenty of new music to get! Mweh heh heh… Which means lots of new stories!

Kaito: Finish the ones you started, you cursed hypocrite!

Me: Yeah? Well you’re a cheesehead Kaito. So there! Ahem. At least it’s not a true blue songfic. I have discovered that most people dislike those... Such a shame! I love matching music to stories… The theme songs I mentioned in Mental Ward; they’re normally what started me writing several fics at all! I draw my inspiration from music! It’s insane! For me, writing, drawing, and music are all synonymous! Don’t ask me to explain that one.

Kaito: Your explanation, m’dear, is that you have none. The day you do anything that makes sense will be the day of the apocalypse.

Me: Yes. This is what I came up with in all music-obsessive glory. Retarded, isn’t it?

Kaito: When are you not?
Me: Eh… true. I’m mental.

Kaito: I’m glad you agree. Of course, seeing as it is now one in the morning, you won’t remember any of this tomorrow. Honestly. Who else gets drunk off of nighttime?

Me: What? Did ya say sommat?

Kaito: Of course not, Dai-chan. S.C.! You’re going to have to cart her out of the room in a minute.

Me: No, no, I’m fine! I have music! I don’t feel tired at all! I need to do a lot more work… Ami’s already pissed at me… Damn… I need a beta.

S.C.: What? Don’t I count?

Me: You do not! You don’t revise anything! You write the word ‘ellipse’ in capitals all over the place, and that’s it!

S.C.: Well… It makes you look at the page!

Me: It… Huuuuuhh… S.C., were there always six of you?

S.C.: Uh… I don’t think so?
Me: Oh, my mistake… That’s just two… Silly me…

S.C.: …What?

Kaito: And so the lack of sleep finally registers.

--

It was a beautiful day out. The sun was shining against the walls and roofs of the houses lining the road, making them look much cleaner than they actually were. The sky was a clear blue with only the most picturesque puffy white clouds against it. There was a nice breeze blowing every few minutes that cooled everything down agreeably. Birds were chirping a little too loudly, and giving me a headache, but other than that, it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Almost weirdly perfect. It was one of those moments when you expect someone famous to leap out of the magnolia bushes and burst into a rousing rendition of Walking on Sunshine. Not that something like that had ever happened, but I had high hopes.

This is a day for greatness, I thought, strolling lazily down the sidewalk. Namine had kicked me out of the house to do some cleaning. She knows as well as I do that I do very little except get in the way. I needed the exercise anyway! Something wonderful will happen today.

Oh the irony.

“Roxas? Is that you?”

I blinked, recognizing that voice from somewhere, but unable to place it. I froze as I turned, staring with shock at the figure in front of me. My jaw dropped and he stared back. That can’t be… can it? I mean… This kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life… That can’t be… We both stared at one another long and hard, before bursting into simultaneous grins. “AXEL!!” I cried, running over to him and flinging my arms around his neck in a brief hug. He laughed, hugging me back for a moment, and I leaned away, holding him by the shoulders and surveying him. Same electric green eyes, same mime wannabe tattoos (heh) beneath them, same snow white skin. His hair was still a volcanic eruption of red, but now the tips were dyed black. He was also wearing a brown jacket now, instead of his old all-black ensemble. But that was as far as the alterations went. My mouth quirked up in a smile. “You’ve barely changed!” I exclaimed.

“I have so!” Axel protested childishly. “I’m much more handsome!” I rolled my eyes, laughing again and he did too. “Can’t say the same for you, though. You’ve gotten soft in your old age!”

“I’m not that old,” I scowled, crossing my arms. “And you’re a year older than me, Kasai!”

“Yes, but I work out,” Axel pointed out, smirking superiorly. I remembered why I used to smack him upside the head all the time. He can be incredibly annoying when he wants to. It only made me smile more at the moment. Same old Axel, all right! “And I am unbelievably cool, of course. Takes years off the appearance, love!”

“I work out enough that I still have the same right hook,” I smirked back. “Wanna feel it again?” Axel pretended to cower.

“I’ll pass, thanks.” He started walking and I jogged after him. He didn’t say a word, and for a minute I wondered if I’d hit a nerve, but he whirled around, a wild grin on his face. “This is awesome! I can’t believe I’m seeing you! You’re actually right there! I mean, there’s no way! It’s like a one in a million chance!”

I grinned back. “I know what you mean. It’s like fate, right? So when did you get here? Or better yet—why are you here? If you moved to this place, I’d definitely notice!”

“I got here two days ago,” Axel replied, still walking. “It’s this business thing. I got an all expenses paid trip to this… lovely little…” He looked around quickly, trying to find a tactful way to speak of where I lived, and I snickered.

“Dump,” I filled in. “This lovely little dump.” Axel nodded sagely, not missing a beat.

“Ah yes. This lovely little dump. I finished up the meetings yesterday, so I’m just here for two more days. I took my motorcycle out for a run—d”

“Shut up!” I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth. “No way! You don’t have a motorcycle!”

“Damn right I do!” Axel grinned at my astonishment, whipping out a set of shiny silver keys. “Wicked, ain’t it?” I nodded dumbly, feeling a little jealous. Where had Axel Kasai gotten the money for something like that? Lucky bastard! “Anyway, I was just driving around, so I decided to go for a jog… ’Cause this isn’t the most dangerous side of town.”

“Let me guess the next part of this riveting tale,” I said dryly. “You went for a run and managed to get horribly and completely lost. And then you were just wandering around the neighborhood, looking for something familiar?” Axel scoffed at this suggestion.

“What? No! I’m not stupid, Roxas!” He continued to walk and I continued to follow him with a tiny smile on my face. Finally he stopped with a sigh, and glanced back at me. “…Is it really that obvious?”

“Yes.” I grinned. Same old Axel, same old sense of direction! He could even get lost at our old school. “So do you know where you left it?”

“Eighteenth Street,” Axel muttered, and I snickered.

“Well, we might want to be walking this way then.” I turned, walking back the way we’d come, and Axel went after me, looking sheepish. “Don’t worry, my service as tour guide will cost you nothing but a minute of your time… And a ride on your motorcycle!” Axel grinned.

“It’s a deal!” He tapped the back of my hand with his fist, reminding me of years ago. Every time we made what we considered to be an important promise, we’d tap fists like that to seal the deal. I smiled up at him happily. I didn’t think he’d remember that! “And you Roxas? I’m assuming you live here, but where? What’s happened to you since I last saw you?”

“I live a little down the block, actually,” I responded. “I’ll give you our address later… Because there’s no way you’re going to leave without at least writing!” Axel stuck out his tongue.

“Wouldn’t let you go and ditch me either,” he informed me, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. Neither of us could quit smiling, I guess. I felt like such a dope, but it’s not every day you see your best friend! Axel and I had been partners in crime since elementary school, but we’d lost contact after high school graduation. It was sad, really. We’d been so careful about writing at first, and then our college courses had come full force… We drifted apart, lost the old addresses, forgotten to write. Eventually I didn’t even know how to contact him. Still, I’ll always think of Axel Kasai as my best friend. So for me, this was the best day in a long time. I couldn’t believe I’d just run into him like this! It shocked me to see how little he changed; how easy it was to fall into the old routine of laughing and teasing. I felt like a teenager all over again. I never thought I’d see him again… but it felt like he never left. “So anyway. You said ‘our’! Are you living with someone?”

“Married,” I declared proudly, holding up my hand to the sunlight. A simple gold ring on it shined in the light, and Axel whistled. “To Namine, if you believe that!” He blinked, and then smirked.

“Namine? You’re kidding. The same girl we were always stealing drawing pads from who told the entire school you and I were dating?” I nodded, chuckling as I remembered. We’d had lots of fun back then. “How’d that happen?”

“We went to the same college,” I said, smiling dreamily. “Me, her, and Pence; we all ended up in the same place in the end. We spent a lot of time together… Eventually she told me the reason she picked on me all the time was because she liked me. I always liked her, to tell you the truth.” I grinned at Axel, who appeared to be trying to imagine it. He seemed like he was having trouble with it, judging by the incredulous look on his face. “Before you know it… Well, here I am!”

“Wow... Congratulations! Any kids I should know about?” Axel teased. “Are you planning to flood the world with little Roxai, that will egg my bike and use me as a personal punching bag?” I scowled at him.

“I wasn’t that bad as a kid,” I objected. “And I only egged your car once. I cleaned it with you afterwards! I wasn’t that bad.” He just looked at me, smiling. I grimaced. “Oh fine. You were just as bad though, Kasai, and don’t you forget it!”

“You’re getting off topic,” Axel remarked, and I realized I was. I rolled my eyes, laughing.

“Right you are! Well, in regards to that question, yes. We were thinking of having two.” I couldn’t help the smile that came to my face. It was always there when I was talking about my family. “…And she has a baby on the way. It’s going to be a girl….” I smiled again, remembering the day Namine had run up to me with the news. It was like the world had dropped out from beneath me… Then came back twice as good in about two seconds. I was going to be a dad! I couldn’t believe it!

“Seriously? Your genes in a girl.” Axel speculated. “Hm… Dear God… The world had better be afraid.” I grinned, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

“Speak for yourself!” I said. “So what about you? Is there anyone special in your life?” Axel shrugged.

“Well, I’ve gotten pretty serious a couple of times… But no one at the moment.” I patted him on the back.

“Don’t worry. You’re a great guy; you’ll find a great girl.” Axel snorted, shooing me away.

“Eh, settling down isn’t my thing anyway.” He smiled at me again. “So, you really do like Namine?” I nodded vigorously, unable to keep another giddy smile off my face.

“She’s amazing,” I announced. “She’s really sweet now that she’s not trying to kill either of us. She’s thoughtful, funny, absolutely gorgeous, and just… So amazing. I’m so lucky to have met a woman like her. I’ve never been happier… I live under a seriously lucky star, right? I get the most spectacular wife in the world, I’m going to have an adorable daughter, and I even found my best friend again! Who else has a life like that?” Axel looked a little more solemn.

“Yeah… You are lucky. Not many people have lives like that.” He smirked at me. “Mine’s better though!”

“Oh yeah?” I crossed my arms, smirking right back. “What’s your life like then?”

“Well, for one, I’m an executive in a huge company and a millionaire,” Axel said offhandedly, and my jaw dropped.

“What…?” I grabbed his arm and jerked him around to stare him in the eye. “You’re pulling my leg. You—my pyromanaical, crazed best friend from high school who was in detention more times than I ate in the cafeteria, Axel Kasai—are a millionaire?” He nodded, and I blinked, releasing his arm. “Oh,” I said lamely, and he chuckled.

“I’m a bigwig in Marlstone Industries,” he explained. “I discovered a couple of things in college, made a few of the right friends, and succeeded in the big world, I guess. It’s not really all it’s cracked up to be; it’s actually pretty boring. There’s not much to do when you’re basically set for life.”

“And you think that’s better than having a family?” I scoffed. “Not having to work, thus being bored? Not a bit!”

“It’s not all bad,” Axel grinned, and I got the distinct feeling that I’d just taken some kind of bait. “I never run out of free time. I get to goof off as long as I want. I have a television the size of your local swimming pool. I have a motorcycle, a private jet, and enough cars to drive an entire state to another state. Plus, I can donate so much to charities… Getting a thank you card from a six-year-old in Kenya.” He smiled softly. “It’s pretty special, y’know.”
I smiled back. “I’ll bet… You know, we’ve both had pretty good lives. Equals?” I held up my fist, and he laughed, banging his knuckles against mine.

“Absolutely.” His eyes widened suddenly. “Hey!” I glanced over my shoulder where he was looking to see the sign for Eighteenth Street.” We glanced at each other, and smirked in unison.

“Race you?” I offered. Axel grinned.

“You’re on, Shorty!”

“I am not short!” I protested, but Axel was already off, and I had to scramble after him. The motorcycle came into view moments later, looking unfairly shiny, and I realized I couldn’t catch up with him in time. In response, I made a crazy dive for Axel’s legs. He let out a yelp and we both went crashing to the ground. Everything spun for a little while, and when I managed to sit up, Axel was leaning against his bike with a smug grin.

“I win,” he declared, and I sat up with a wince, glaring at him.

“What, you don’t care if I was hurt?” I grumbled, rubbing my head. “I hit my head, you know. If I had a concussion, what would you do?” Axel thought about this.

“I’d probably laugh,” he decided, and I glowered at him. He tapped the side of his bike. “So what? Are you still up for a ride or will your poor, aching head prevent you?” I stood up, brushing myself off, and marched over him, hands on my hips.

“Yeah right. You aren’t getting out of it that easily.” I sat down on the seat with another tiny pang of envy. It really was a nice bike… It was more than just shiny. It was a good solid model, like nothing I’d ever seen in the cheap magazines. I sometimes looked through them, longing to get one. Namine and I had never had the money, unfortunately, especially with the coming baby. Motorcycles are still the coolest shiny metal deathtraps in the world, and hella fun to ride; Axel and I both know that from personal experience. By this, I mean we’d stolen one from the school parking lot, and driven it for some of the best hours of my life— before wrecking it into a tree. The bike had turned out to belong to Luxord, a teacher of ours. We had gotten into so much trouble… And it was worth every bit! “Gimme the keys!”

“Nope.” Axel pulled me up from the seat, pushing me to the one behind it. “I said you got a ride, not that you got to drive. We don’t need a repeat of that time with Luxord’s motorcycle.” I pouted, but let him move me to the backseat.

“Come on Axel, I can drive it.” I complained. “You’re rich anyway. Can’t you get a new one?”

“It’s an antique model, and you are not wrecking it.” Axel said decisively, and I opened my mouth to scold him over the fact that he loved his bike more than his best friend, but he beat me to it. “Besides, I rather like you, Roxas. I’m happy to see you again, and I like you best in one piece.” I pretended to continue sulking, but in fact I was happy. Getting Axel to say something like that was a pretty big deal. It was nice to know that he hadn’t completely forgotten me. Besides, he could always see through me. He knew I was totally faking being upset. I was way too excited to mope.

He revved the bike, and I felt a laugh growing in my throat. How long had it been since I’d ridden? The machine hummed beneath me, seeming as eager as I was for the ride, but the motion was smooth; refined. It really is a good bike. “Ready to go?” Axel asked. I sure was. Except for one tiny little detail…

“Wait, where’re the helmets?” I inquired meekly. Axel just laughed.

“You’ll be fine,” he assured me. I had just enough time to think ‘oh shit’, and then we were off faster than I’d ever driven in my life. I let out a surprised squeak, grabbing onto Axel’s forearms tightly and fearing for my life if I loosened my grip at all. We were heading straight for a wall, but before we could crash, Axel swerved the bike away, and we went careening down the street. I let out another exclamation of surprise when we nearly hit a parked car, but Axel zipping out of the way just in time.

“Axel, the speed limit here is…!” I began, only to be cut off when we had another harrowing experience with a tree. When I dared peek around his shoulder, I ducked behind him again at the sight of a car that was actually moving. My neighborhood had been transformed into an obstacle course! “Slow down!” I shouted in his ear, and in response, Axel laughed maniacally, slamming down on the gas. The bike shot forward, and I shot backwards, having the air ripped from my lungs.

I sat back up, gulping air, with a death grip around Axel, who I figured was laughing at me again. I looked behind us, and my eyes widened at how quickly the houses were disappearing. We’re going so fast… I watched the scenery whip past in a colorful blur, barely breathing. The little breeze I’d felt before was like a hurricane on my face, and the bike was louder than I thought possible. I felt strangely distant right then. It wasn’t me down there, risking his life with a man he hadn’t seen in years. It was… someone else.

“Hold on tight,” Axel yelled back to me, his voice barely audible over the roaring of the wind. “This is the fun part!” He didn’t have to tell me twice. My fingers sunk into the hard material of his jacket, and I wondered what he was talking about with a sinking feeling of dread. Just then, we burst into the main highway and merged into its traffic. Axel slowed the bike to a reasonably sane speed once we were on the highway, and I was thankful. Getting arrested would put a damper on the day somewhat.

“Where are we going?” I screamed over the surrounding noise. I couldn’t see Axel’s face, but somehow I knew he was smiling again.

“You’ll find out!” He called back mockingly, turning onto a road I barely recognized. “Just sit back and enjoy the ride!” I spent a minute deciding whether or not I really trusted Axel, and found that I really didn’t have a choice in the matter. I knew he wouldn’t stop, even if I asked him to. Axel was just like that. So I hung on and watched the world whirl by in splashes of color. There was no telling how long I was like that. Riding on the bike was like flying. It felt like there was nothing around or beneath me… Felt like the world was just spinning faster and faster, encasing me in a column of air. I’d forgotten how it felt.

And then it stopped.

I blinked, confused, and then looked around. We really weren’t moving. And there were no other cars around us… We were completely alone. I didn’t recognize the road either. It was in a heavily forested area, and looked like one of those scenic back roads Namine loved to go to draw. Why were we here? “Axel?” I asked uncertainly, and he turned his head back to me, grinning.

“Hey, you were paying attention!” He exclaimed in a laughing tone. “I was sure you’d fainted or something.” I glared at him. “Anyway, this is where I was planning on driving… I figured you wouldn’t mind coming along.” I looked around again, this time more carefully, but still didn’t see anywhere Axel would be interested in.

“Where is this?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“It’s not where it is that’s important. It’s what it is.” He spread his arms out as if to encompass the place. “This road barely ever gets traffic. It’s monitored even less… It’s freedom. You can drive however you want. As fast, as slow, in any lane…” He trailed off purposefully, and grinned back at me.

“Can we stay in this lane?” I pleaded, and he laughed again.

“Anything for you, Roxy!” He declared, ignoring the dark look I gave him. Just like old times… It was annoying then too. The bike let out a rumble, and I nearly jumped. Axel responded by slamming down on the speed, and the world faded into a blur once more. This time, it wasn’t frightening at all. This time I was used to the speed and the reckless way he drove. It really was like flying, and Axel was, I’ll admit, a good driver. Suicidal perhaps, but he was in complete control. He twisted the bike, zigzagging across the road, speeding up and slowing down in intricate patterns that made my heart race until I thought it would give out. There was a feeling—bubbling up inside to the point where it was going to explode at any moment—and I couldn’t place it. Was there anything like it in the world?
Without any warning, Axel suddenly took a deep breath, and screamed at the top of his lungs. I screamed in response, nearly falling off the bike, and I felt him laughing at me again. “Try it!” Axel demanded. “It’s fun!”

“It’s stupid!” I shot back, and he made the bike spin in a circle, which making me gasp.
“Try it!” He insisted, and then let out another wild yell. The bike made the world a kaleidoscope for me. The feeling boiling in the center of my chest flew to my throat, expanding until it burst free. My own shout was quieter, and slightly pathetic in comparison to Axel’s own ragged cry, but he had been right. It was a feeling beyond flying, and lasted only a second. Axel laughed, and outdid me again, so I raised my voice once more. He screamed too, and we tried to outdo each other as the world shifted and flew beneath us. I wanted a motorcycle more than anything in the world at that moment.

Craziness and exhilaration coursed through me, and my legs tightened against the bike. I released my grip on Axel’s chest and spread my arms to the sky, catching the air. The wind nearly tore me off the bike, but I held on, grinning madly. “WAAAAAHOOOOOO!!” I crowed to the sky, and then had to grab onto Axel again as the bike spun to a halt. I frowned, thumping my forehead against the back of Axel’s jacket.Why did he stop? Just when it was getting good…

“Oh my God! Roxas, are you OK?!” Axel’s panicked voice sounded distant in my ringing ears. I nodded, bewildered, and Axel’s face abruptly changed from worried to utterly pissed off. I got the feeling I’d just done something really stupid. “What the hell?! Don’t you ever do that again! You could have killed yourself! I swear, if you ever do that again and the fall doesn’t kill you, I will!” The fury in his voice had undertones of something else… I think it was fear. He shifted and I flinched, expecting him to hit me, but he didn’t. Axel just climbed off the bike and walking away. I watched him go, feeling lower than I’d felt in a long, long time, and climbed off as well.

Axel was right. If I had let go when he was doing one of his tricks, I definitely would have hurt myself. I could have even when we were driving like we were. Out here, it would take a while for anyone to get to us if someone was hurt. Could I have died…? All because I got caught up in the moment and did some stupid little stunt like that? If I died like that, everyone would blame Axel, even though it wasn’t his fault at all. I would have ruined his life, probably. How had I been such an idiot?

Axel had gone to the other end of the road, and was drinking something from a flask that seemed to have materialized out of thin air. It didn’t smell like alcohol, and even if it did, I wouldn’t have said anything to him about it. He wasn’t looking at me, and I could tell he was doing it on purpose. I went over to him after a minute, looking at my feet. “Hey, Axel?” I said softly, and he ignored me. I didn’t—couldn’t blame him for that. “Sorry…” I murmured. “That was stupid… I’m sorry, Axel.” He said nothing. I continued to stare at my shoes, now feeling sick to my stomach.

“…You should be,” Axel spoke up at last. I looked up, but he was still staring away from me stonily. Boy, if looks could kill… It was like a knife and he wasn’t even looking at me. “That wasn’t just stupid. That was… there’s not even a word for it. I thought you had more sense than that.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I wasn’t thinking. It was just… It was nice. I stopped thinking.” I wanted to fly.

“What happens the next time you don’t think?” Axel retorted coldly. “Your wife loses her husband. Your daughter won’t ever know who her father was. Will they even be able to support themselves? Did you ever consider the responsibility that goes with a family, Roxas? You can’t do things like that.”

“You’re not any better!” I said, now angry. “You’re the same as me and you do things like that all the time! Don’t act like I’m shining example of screwing up! That’s not fair!” Now he looked at me, and I took a half step back in spite of myself. From knife to about six different atom bombs in a split second. His eyes were blazing.

“Tough!” Axel barked, putting away his flask. “Life’s not fair, Roxas, ever heard that? And maybe there’s a reason I don’t have a family! Iknow what I am and am not capable of! Don’t worry about being the shining example of screwing up—I’ve got that field covered! I haven’t done a damn thing right once in my life! I’m stupid, reckless, useless, and on top of every other screwed up thing I’ve ever done, I almost took you away from your family!!” His voice nearly broke on the last part, and my anger drained away, leaving me to feel more ashamed than ever.

“Axel, that’s not true,” I said immediately, stepping forward again. “You’re not—”

“What’s so good about me, huh?!” Axel’s fist slammed into the tree he was standing by, and I flinched pathetically. “What have I ever done right? I take all the wrong chances; ignore all the most important responsibilities. I…” He buried his face in his hand, breathing deeply, and I could tell he was trying to calm down. After a minute, he threw his hand down with a growl. “Never mind. Let’s just get back. Your wife must be wondering where you are.” He started off and I seized his arm before he could get far, refusing to let him go.

“No. Not yet.” He yanked on his arm, glaring at me, and I glared right back. “What is it you aren’t telling me?” I asked quietly. He nearly jerked his arm from my grasp at the second pull, and I dug my heels into the dirt.

“Nothing!” Axel shouted. “There’s nothing for me to tell you! Now let go, or I’ll make you!” I hung on all the tighter, ignoring the threat.

“Yes there is!” I shouted back. “You only act like this when you’re not telling me something!”

“I’ve changed Roxas! People change!” My arms were on fire. When Axel said he worked out, he wasn’t kidding.

“You haven’t!” I strained to hold his arm in place, squeezing my eyes shut. “You’re still you, Axel! I still know who you are! Tell me!” Was it just me, or was he pulling even harder? Where was he getting the strength?

“You’re better off not knowing!” He screamed, wrenching at his arm even harder, in a desperate attempt to free himself. “You don’t want to know!”
“Yes… I… DO!” I roared, and then he finally tore his arm away from me.

“I LOVE YOU!”Axel yelled, and it felt like the sky crashed down on me right then. I blinked, stumbling backwards. I hit a tree, still staring at him. Then I blinked again.

“What…?” I blinked a third time, trying to force my mind into a working state. It wasn’t coming easily. Did he just say that he…? I’m pretty sure he did… What the…?! I stared at Axel, waiting for some explanation, and he avoided my eyes.

“Yeah.” He said after a long moment, in a biting tone. “Not what you wanted to hear, right? That your old best friend is gay for you? That has to be a shock.” He turned and walked back to the bike, smiling coldly. I watched him for a moment, and then slowly followed.

“Can you… explain?” I managed, and he sat on the bike. I sat on the road beside his feet, looking straight ahead. “Please. I don’t understand…”

“What’s not to get?” Axel laughed bitterly. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time—from some time back in middle school, if you have to know. Namine had a basis for all that stuff she said about us.”

“…Oh.” I continued to look straight ahead, fiddling with the hem of my shirt absently. “Uh… Why?”

I heard Axel’s jacket rustle when he shrugged. “Why does anyone love anyone else? One part physical attraction, one part chemistry, and one part luck. Whatever kind of luck you have. And being attracted to you… It was inescapable. I never liked anyone more, never got along with anyone better… I never really got over it either. I don’t know why.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. Or I thought I asked. I felt so dizzy. Axel loved me? Since when? “Why didn’t you tell me that you felt like that?”

“It was… too perfect, y’know? Everything just… it fit too well to work out… I knew you’d never feel the same way.” Axel’s voice told me. I couldn’t imagine what the real Axel was doing, what his face would be like. “I was right, obviously. It would have screwed up our friendship; that kind of stuff always does in the end. At least I had that—being friends with you. I got to spend time and goof off with my favorite person, and I was thankful for that. We really were friends... I just wanted more on top of it.” I closed my eyes.

Friends… But friends didn’t love each other. Well, Namine and I were friends, but that was different. We were a girl and a boy… I mean, I knew about homosexuality. You’d kind of have to live in a box not to. It just seemed so far away from me. I’d known a gay guy once, and he was OK. He never hit on me or anything, we just talked sometimes. And likewise, I never picked on any of the notoriously gay kids at my school. I never really cared. I never really thought it would affect me. But Axel… He and Namine were the two closest people to me. It affected me, alright.

“…What can I do?” I asked, looking up at Axel, and he laughed again. He really did have the most horrible, painful laugh when he wanted to. I wanted to block out the sound, but that wasn’t the right thing to do. If I’d hurt him, I had to take it. I had to help him…

“You’re joking, right?” He smiled sadly. “Don’t say stupid things like that. I’ve held out against this feeling long enough; don’t give me a reason not to.”

“No. I’m not joking,” I looked him right in the eye so he knew I wasn’t. “Axel, you’re really important to me. I’d do anything for you, remember? I’m not going to take that back. I meant it when I said it.”

“Do you still mean it?” He asked, and I paused, thinking hard. He was in love with me. He’d been in love with me for a while, apparently. Did that change the time we’d spent together? No. He’d never done a thing to me, never taken advantage of me. Did that change the laughs we’d had? Not at all. They were still just as funny to me. Did that change how I felt about him? Yes, of course it would. I’d just learned what was probably my best friend’s biggest secret; or at least the only one I didn’t already know. Did it change those words, the ones I’d told him the day of graduation in some attempt to let him know how much he meant? Did it change the fact that I still thought of him as my best friend?

Not a chance in hell.

“I mean it.” I smiled up at him. He blinked, and I saw a flicker of surprise in his green eyes. Did he think I didn’t trust him? Did he think I would worry he would ask me to leave Namine for him? Did he think I was afraid he’d use that promise to take advantage of me? I wasn’t. I knew Axel, even if I hadn’t ever noticed that one detail. I knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or to hurt her. Axel was a good person for a thousand reasons. Even if he didn’t know them.

“I’d like it if you’d still think of me as your friend,” Axel finally said. “I really would… Prefer to stay friends.” I nodded, still smiling, and held up my fist. He looked at it for a moment, and then a tired smile came onto his face. He tapped it with his, and then leaned back. “…Thank you.”

“And?” I pressed gently. He looked back at me.

“You don’t give up, do you?” He sighed. “Well then… I want to be set free. But you can disregard that request.”

“Why?” I asked, rather unwisely. “How would I set you free?” The smile he gave me could only be described as dry.

“Use your imagination.” He said sarcastically.

I considered it. “Is that the only way to free you?” I asked. Axel considered that.

“I don’t really know.” He admitted. “I just know that I’m not. Free, I mean. I couldn’t ever be with anyone else without thinking of you… But don’t blame yourself. It’s my fault for not saying anything! Look, just forget about it.” He started the motorcycle and climbed on, looking tired. I noticed that he had lines on his face now; ones that I hadn’t noticed before. He looked older all of a sudden, and weighed down. “Come on. Let’s get you back home.”

I nodded and climbed to my feet slowly, brushing dirt off. I paused, then leaned down and pressed my lips to his for a second. He was staring at me when I pulled away, and I smiled at him again.

“Wha…?” He breathed, looking like he was about to pass out. “Roxas, what…?”

“You’re free,” I whispered. “You’re free, Axel.”

--

Me: Ah, so there you have it. I apologize for the writing… The characters seem a lot younger than they probably are. It was intentional, but maybe I took it too far. I expect that about three people will actually read this thing all the way through. I’ll get one review maybe, if I’m super lucky. I’m not expecting any. I’m expecting this story to piss just about everyone off!

Kaito: And you wrote it because...?
Me: Hey. I really shouldn’t be allowed to stay up this late! Although, technically I’m not. My parents are already asleep though—as is everyone else except me and my brother. And he stays up later than EVERYONE anyway. But it’s New Year’s Eve! Bedtimes are optional on holidays!
Kaito: Mm-hm. That’s great. Now go back to bed.

Me: -sigh- Yessir… (Geez, he’s stricter than my parents!)

Kaito: Did you say something?
Me: Eheh… No?

S.C.: Good save.

Me: Shush.

S.C.: Anyway; to everyone out there—

Kaito: Who actually reads this—

Mizu: Whether y-you hate it o-or not—

Me: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!