A/N: Bah. I know, it's been a very long time. I just have never really gotten myself to do much writing at all. But, that will change now, because I'm determined to write more. Plus, a good thing is I've improved quite a lot, if I dare say so myself. I'll really try to update this more often, I swear. I've been working a bit on the storyline and stuff too.

This chapter is short, but that's because this is only supposed to get things going properly. After this, the "plot" or whatever you're supposed to call it will start progressing.

I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. I just enjoy playing around with the characters themselves, because I love them. :3 The manga and its characters belong to Tite Kubo.

I apologize for any possible grammar and/or spelling mistakes I've missed while reading through it and all that. Enjoy, and I apologize once again for the long wait. I would appriciate reviews.

Chapter 3

2006, 25th August, Tuesday

I was excited at first. I really was. I mean, the guy that was the "object" of my first crush had switched classes and was now taking the same subjects as me! We weren't always in the same class, but we were in the same class a couple of times the rest of the Monday and this day. I thought it would actually be rather interesting and... well... as immature as it may sound... I was sort of hoping for it to turn out into something like a fairy tale. Which is very childish and foolish, but I couldn't help myself. You're allowed to dream, right? But it seemed that my expectations were a bit too high, because I ended up feeling rather down after school ended. He had actually seemed really interested at first when we sat next to each other yesterday, but either I had just been imagining it all or it was a one-time thing or something. Either way, he didn't pay me too much attention afterwards. He seem rather blank and indifferent towards actually interracting with anyone, to be honest. But I was hoping that he would notice me in some way.

He wasn't being rude or anything, he just didn't show much interest. And I didn't really find it in me to try and initiate more contact... He seemed so focused on learning and after class was finished he would be gone to get the books for his next class. It was almost as if he went through the school day on some mechanic functions that told him what to do and that he wasn't supposed to do anything else. I'm really beginning to wonder just how Matsumoto managed to get through to him at all. Probably because she's more forward than me... I don't really feel frightened by talking to Hitsugaya or anything like that, no, I'm just not a very forward person and I'm careful with how I act and what I say. And since he hasn't showed any sort of interest to get to know me, I'm a bit afraid to actually talk to him, I guess.

We have the first class together on Tuesdays. I was planning to sit with Rukia, because we always sat together, but she pushed me away to where Hitsugaya was already seated and gave me a wink. It was probably supposed to tell me to go for it, but she if anyone should know that I'm not all too much into "going for it". But it's a gesture to appriciate, or something... She just wants to help me, after all, since she knows I'm a bit shy. I'm just not sure it will make such a big difference in the end.

Anyway, I was pushed towards him, so I sat down next to him as Rukia sat down a few seats away from me, smiling as if she was a small kid in a candy store. She was very excited about this small crush of mine. I can sort of understand that... I usually don't care about males at all, and she just found that weird. I don't know why I got interested in Hitsugaya... I think it may be because he gives off another kind of aura. And he's shorter than me, and I find that somewhat funny.

"Good morning," I greeted him when I sat down, a casual greeting. I could easily do that.

He at least gave me an acknowledging nod, but that was it. I thought that he would at least say something in return, but it seems that he doesn't do that... For some reason. I knew he was quiet and a bit introverted, but to not return a greeting. Well, alright, he did return it, but as I said, I had expected him to at least open his mouth. Not to be arrogant or anything, but it surprised me. I sent him some occasional glances during the class's hour as well, though he didn't pay attention to anything but the teacher.

"That guy is rather cold, isn't he?" Rukia asked, frowning lightly, as the class ended and we were heading towards our lockers. "He didn't say anything and he didn't even look at you!"

"Rukia, we don't even know each other," I said and sighed tiredly. "He's probably not interested at all."

As much as it hurt for me to say something like that, it was the painful truth, and Rukia silenced so I think she agreed.

I had no idea that I would be so right about it, though. I thought that usually you noticed when someone was interested in you. I don't know if I'm just too careful to make him actually see how I look at him. Maybe my glances were too casual. I'm not sure, but he didn't show that he noticed them in any way. Rukia told me that I should be more forward and show it more, to make sure that he really notices, but I'm not sure I'm actually brave enough to do it. Besides, it's just a crush, right? From what I heard of crushes, it should go away eventually. Sure, I would be very happy if something would happen, but I don't know... I guess it doesn't hurt to try to become his friend, though. I could always do that.

After all, I don't know anything about him. He just seemed interesting and... cute, and I think that was what appealed to me. He's just so different but he seems to handle it very well. He seems so sure of himself, something that I have never quite managed. It's not like I'm torturing myself with negative thoughts or anything of the like, I just don't have much courage or confidence. Something that he definitely has. And his overall look is just very... very... sexy for the lack of a better word. Wow, it feels awkward thinking of anyone like that, but... I shouldn't deny it to myself. I think he looks great, especially with that white hair of his. It's just... so pretty. I feel like touching it so bad when I look at it, because it looks so thick and fluffy and soft and...

Alright, I admit it. I want to be together with him so badly. I'm not sure what to do with myself! I want him to notice me, to talk to me, to give me those small smiles that I've seen him occasionally, surprisingly, give Matsumoto. I feel so selfish, silly and narrow-minded thinking that way, but I shouldn't deny it. I just want him to look at me, notice me, pay attention to me. But I have no real idea how to make him do that. When he looked at me that first class we had together, with those beautiful eyes... It made my heart flutter. It was just such an amazing feeling. The thought that he might not be interested in me at all, and the thought that he may never be, pains me. Thinking that way makes my heart wrench, but it's the truth, the very painful truth.

I suppose I would need help to at least become his friend. I feel like I have no idea how to make friends, I do know that, but he's my first crush. I just feel odd around him, so I'm honestly not sure I could manage to do that. I should talk to Rukia about it. Maybe Orihime would work too, but Orihime is... well, Orihime. I don't know, but she just doesn't seem like the right person to ask. Maybe it's because I'm not as close to her as I am to Rukia. It would make sense. And Rukia is calmer than her on that matter, despite her slightly... violent nature when she thinks someone is being an idiot. She did notice I was being all weird and thoughtful the whole day, it seemed, and I think it's very likely since she confronted me.

"So, why don't you try to talk to him when you see him in the hallway?" she asked, her expression and voice stern, her hands placed on her hips.

"I... I don't know. I don't want to seem like a too straight-forward person," I answered uncertianly and peered at him as he closed his locker, idly fingering on a bracelet on my arm. "I mean, wouldn't it seem odd? I don't want him to think of me as someone weird."

Rukia rolled her eyes and gripped my shoulders. I turned my eyes back to her and almost flinched back at the anger in them. I know that she always mean well, but really, when she looks at someone like that I can't help but feel a bit afraid.

"Hinamori Momo," she said silently, almost hissing, and stared straight into my eyes with that glare. "If you want someone as obviously introverted or blind or cold, or whatever, that he is to notice you, you need to make an effort. He's not going to magically suddenly notice you and start talking to you, I thought that much was obvious. Unless you do something, nothing will happen! Wow, you're unbelievable!"

I have to admit, that's what makes me a bit hesitant with asking her in the first place. She thinks I should toughen up and things like that, and if I want her help she may think I'm just hesitating about it. But I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. I'm just not sure how to approach him. Should I just randomly walk up to him the hallway and say hi? I personally don't think that's a very... good way to do it. Maybe it's how people normally do it, but I'm never the one to actually make that first step and I've never payed attention to how others have done it. Rukia will probably think I'm silly, worrying about things like that, but I want to make a good impression on him and the first words I've actually said to him was that stupid question. "What are you doing here?" What was I thinking?! I feel like enough of a fool around him as it is, so it should be obvious I'm hesitant, right?

Rukia may think it's a stupid thing, but I really don't. That move was a very dumb thing for me to do, really. It was rude. Sure, I was surprised, but it was no reason to ask him such a thing. I knew people could change what they wanted to study if too much time hadn't passed, and I didn't even think of that when he sat down next to me.

I should probably stop thinking about it, but I can't. It's what makes me so worried about socializing with him. Maybe I should apologize for it, I never actually did that. It would be the right thing to do, wouldn't it? Apologizing for being rude, I mean. Everyone does that. I should suggest it to Rukia, but... What would she think of it? She always says I apologize too much. Maybe I do, but it's a good way to make sure you're on good terms with everyone. Then again, she also said that it could be annoying... Maybe I shouldn't apologize. Maybe it doesn't bother him at all. Maybe he doesn't even remember. If I apologize and he doesn't remember, then it will make me look like a big idiot.

Maybe I should just walk up and say hi? We have actually talked, as much of a bad and short talk that it was.

I worry too much, I really do, but I can't help it. I just can't. I like him, of course I will worry about what he thinks of me. That's just a natural thing, isn't it? I think it is anyway, from what I've watched, read and seen. Of course, I'm not sure Rukia would really care about that... She would say that it doesn't matter if I make good enough impressions on him afterwards, and maybe that's true. I did already waste my first impression, didn't I? Can it get worse?

Yes, it can. It can definitely get worse. I shouldn't think that way, but I do. Rukia always tell me that I should be more optimistic and not worry about things too much. She's right, I know she is, but it just happens. It's a habit, I guess. I can't help but worry about most things. Like at the first day of school. It was a new school, a new set of three years, and I was nervous as hell. There would be new people, new teachers... Well, everything would be new. And I had heard so many things about High School too, scary stories, so of course I was worried that it would be very bad. Sure, there are some things here that just really concerns me, but it's not as bad as I had first thought. I'm actually comfortable with it all. Rukia scolded me a bit for it, though. She's always there to look after me; I know her... aggressivness is nothing but something good. At least if you're on her right side.

I really do appriciate everything she has done for me. I should listen to her more. I know that she can help if I ask for it, and she will be there to encourage me. I shouldn't worry too much, like she says. If I try to be confident, and with her support, I should be able to do this. I will approach Hitsugaya. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.