Chapter 1

It was going to be a hot day, Horatio thought as he looked out the window from his position on the bed. It was still early morning and the sun hadn’t completely appeared from beneath the horizon just yet. The heat was already present, permeating the air and sticking to everything, the sheets, the walls, the windowpanes, his skin…every thing.

He wasn’t used to the Miami air yet, having just moved from New York. Yes, it was hot in the summer in New York too, but the air in Miami was different. It was more humid, more damp, making Horatio sweat and causing his shirt to stick to his back. But he didn’t mind the heat so much, he could live with the heat.

The bed creaked slightly but Horatio ignored the sound as he watched the sun slowly climb up into the sky, a fiery arch errupting into a round face of bursting flames spilling over the horizon. Yes, it was going to be a hot day.

He could see the beach and the ocean from his bedroomwindow. He watched the waves crash lazily into the beach and the sound soothed him, almost lulling him back to sleep, but not quite.

He finally peeled his eyes away from the sight outside and directed his gaze towards the alarmclock on his nightstand. The green letters told him it was six am and he debated to himself whether he should get up already or just stay in bed until the alarmclock went off at seven forty-five. However, it seemed the decision was taken out of his hands.

The door to his bedroom opened and a small face with large hazel eyes and brown hair peeked inside. Horatio smiled as the small boy stepped inside the room, softly closing the door behind him. He was wearing light blue pyjamas with a bright yellow star pattern and he was clutching a beige coloured, stuffed teddybear.

“Hey, what are you doing up son?” Horatio whispered softly.

The child shrugged his small shoulders and climbed into the bed, careful not to disturb the other person still sleeping beside Horatio. The small figure curled up next to the redhead. “I couldn’t sleep. The air smells funny and it’s hot, I feel all sticky.” And he crunched up his nose in distaste. “And Peter had to go to the bathroom.” He added, indicating the fluffy bear.

Horatio gave a soft chuckle. “The smell in the air is the ocean, you’ll get used to it. And yes, it’s hot, I know, but you’ll get used to that too.” He raised his hand and softly stroked the dark brown hair. “I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Why not?” The younger of the two asked.

Horatio shrugged. “I don’t know, I just woke up a while ago. I’ve been doing some thinking and I haven’t managed to fall back to sleep.” He looked at the woman lying next to him. “But it doesn’t seem like your mom is having any trouble sleeping and we should let her. Come on, I’ll make you some breakfast.”

The young boy hummed in agreement and carefully climbed down from the bed, dragging the bear along with him. Horatio slowly got up, carefull not to jolt the woman awake. He took the small boy’s hand in his and lead him out of the bedroom and down the stairs and finally into the kitchen.

“Do you want to have breakfast out on the deck?” Horatio asked. That was the nice thing about living near the water. They had a small deck with a table and a few chairs so they could eat outside when the weather was nice. Horatio had build a small fence around the deck so his little boy wouldn’t be able to fall in the water.

The brown-haired boy furrowed his brow in thought and then shook his head, climbing unto a stooll near the bar seperating the living room from the kitchen and plopping the bear down on the horizontal surface. Horatio simply nodded and pulled out two plates and setting them down on the table. He also pulled out cutlery and two glasses.

“So what do you want to eat?” Horatio asked, opening the fridge and peering inside to see what was available.

“Pancakes?” The child asked.

Horatio looked thoughtful for a minute and then nodded. “Alright, pancakes it is.”

It didn’t take Horatio too long to make pancakes and the small boy watched him the entire time. “Will you teach me how to flip them over, daddy? When I’m bigger and I can reach the stove?”

Horatio chuckled and nodded. “Sure I will, I’ll teach you how to make pancakes from scratch. They taste better that way.”

The boy smiled and nodded happily. They ate breakfast in silence, pancakes with tall glasses of milk, giving the small boy a milk moustache. Horatio wipped it off with a napkin and a smile and the young boy giggled.

“What are we going to do today, daddy?”

Horatio shrugged as he cleaned up their mess, putting everything on the counter near the sink so he could do the dishes easily later. “I don’t know, Ryan, what do you want to do?”

“Can we go to the beach? I want to make a sand-castle, this big,” and he stretched his arms to indicate how big. “I’ve never made a sand-castle before.”

Horatio chuckled. “If mommy agrees I don’t see why not.”

“If mommy agrees to what?” A voice asked and both Caine-men turned around to see a brown-haired woman standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Mommy!” Ryan exclaimed and he hurriedly climbed down from his chair and rushed over to hug her. The woman laughed and caught him in her arms, hoisting him into the air and unto her hip. She kissed him on the forehead and smiled.

“Hey, how’s my precious little boy?”

A little furrow appeared on the small forehead. “I’m not little.”

She laughed. “Of course not, I’m sorry. How’s my big boy?”

“He’s doing fine,” Horatio said, approaching the pair and smiling, “he just had a healthy breakfast.”

She tore her eyes away from her son and focused them on her husband. A soft smile graced her mouth. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Horatio answered and kissed her briefly on the cheek. “Do you want some breakfast? I made pancakes and there’s still some mix left.”

“I’ll think I’ll just have some toast. I’m not feeling up to pancakes.” She said and put their son down on the floor. “So, what was it that I had to agree with?” She asked as she quickly prepared some toast.

“Ryan wants to go down to the beach.” Horatio said as he sat down at the kitchen table while Ryan tried to crawl into his lap.

“I want to make a sand-castle!”

Horatio chuckled and watched as his wife went to sit down at the kitchen table across from him, a small plate of toast in front of her. “What do you say, Laura?”

Laura Caine smiled and took a bite of toast. She chewed carefully before swallowing and then smiled again. “Sure, I don’t see why not. We have a couple of days to settle in before we have to go to work and Ryan has to go to kindergarten.”

Ryan made a face at the mention of kindergarten, he wasn’t looking forward to a new class. Horatio Caine’s son didn’t make friends easily.

“A trip to the beach will be fun,” Laura concluded.

Horatio smiled. “That’s perfect.”

“Yay!” Ryan called out. “I really want to make a sand-castle… Can we take a picture so we’ll always remember what it looked like even after the ocean whipped it away?”

“Of course we can,” Laura said, “I’ll go pack a bag. We’ll have to pick up some sunblock though. We’re out and we don’t want to get a sunburn.”

Horatio chuckled, remembering a couple of days ago when he’d gone out without sunblock and he’d come back with one hell of a sunburn. It had faded away after a day or two but it had stung quite a bit for a time. He didn’t want that to happen again, or to Ryan.

He set Ryan on the seat next to him, lifting him from his lap. “Alright, while mommy packs the bag I’m going to do the dishes. Why don’t you go help her pack?”

Ryan smiled brightly. “Alright, I will.” And he scurried off to find his mother. Horatio watched him go until he’d disappeared into the hallway. With another smile the red-haired man turned to the sink, ready to get started on the dishes.

He could faintly hear Ryan asking Laura if he could bring Peter and Laura saying that they wouldn’t want Peter to get dirty. He laughed softly to himself when Ryan agreed because Peter didn’t like taking baths.

He’d finished the dishes and was drying his hands when the phone rang. He picked up. “Hello, Caine residence.”

“Hey Horatio, how’s it going?”

Horatio smiled. “Hey Frank, everything’s fine. We’re still settling in alright.”

“Good to hear. How’s Laura and Ryan?”

“They’re great. Ryan’s complaining that the air smells funny and that it’s too hot, but I’m sure he’ll warm up to Miami.”

“He’s young, of course he will. How did Laura’s interview go?”

“It went fine, she got the job. I’m glad for her. She really wanted to go back to work now that Ryan is old enough to go to school and stuff. I think she missed it, being a social worker, working with kids.”

“That’s good to hear. Well I have to get going, just called to see how you were doing. Tell Laura and Ryan I said hi.”

“I will, bye Frank.”

“Bye Horatio.”

Horatio hung up and shook his head. He liked Frank, he was reliable, a good man and he had a sarcastic sense of humour that never failed to make Horatio grin. He was glad they’d be working together on a regular basis.

“Who was that on the phone?” Laura asked when Horatio joined her and Ryan in Ryan’s bedroom, where Laura was looking amongst the unpacked boxes for Ryan’s swimming trunks.

“Frank, he wanted to check in on us.” Horatio said.

Laura smiled. “He’s a good guy. Glad to have at least one friend on the force already?”

Horatio laughed and opened one of the boxes, immediately retracting a pair of bright red swimming trunks. She narrowed her green eyes at him and snatched them from his hand. “How do you do that?”

Horatio shrugged. “It’s a natural gift.”

Laura snorted and stuffed the swimming trunks into the bag she was carrying.

“Can we go to the beach now?” Ryan asked and Horatio ruffled his hair.

“We’ll leave as soon as we all get dressed.”

-- -- -- --

He felt old.

The sunrise didn’t have half the brilliance it had twenty-three years ago and it seemed as if every day it was loosing some of its colour, becoming paler day by day. He sighed. It was twenty-three years to the day. Maybe he should give Laura a call and see how she was holding up.

He could remember that day as if it had only happened yesterday. They’d gone to the beach as planned and he and Ryan had made a sand-castle together. Laura had taken a picture of the both of them with it once it was finished. She’d taken Ryan swimming after that. There’d been a lot of people at the beach that day. It had been a hot day after all.

Every time he looked back on that day he would curse himself for his stupidity. He’d been so careless, so thoughtless. He’d only taken his eyes of his son for a minute, but that minute had been long enough for whoever…. He could still remember the rising panic in his chest when he realized that he couldn’t find his son, that his son, his little boy was… gone. He’d run around the beach in near panic, but Ryan had been gone.

The days that followed had been hell and the weeks after that even worse as he and Laura struggled to accept the fact that their son was probably dead. He remembered the desperation in Laura’s eyes as she asked him for another child and the broken look on her face when she suffered a miscarriage.

He sighed as he got up from the bed and went to the kitchen. It had all been twenty-three years ago. If his son was alive today… He would have been twenty-seven years old. Maybe he would have been starting his own family by now. Horatio hated thoughts like those, but he couldn’t avoid them, not on that day anyway.

The decision to pick up the phone and dial her number had been made in a heartbeat. Horatio didn’t know why he discussed it with himself anymore, he called her every year anyway.

“Hello, Laura Haigh speaking.”

“Laura, it’s Horatio.”

There was a brief period of silence on the other side of the phone and then a deep breath. “Hey Horatio.”

“How are you doing?” Horatio asked.

“As well as every year, I suppose. It doesn’t get easier with time.” She said softly.

He nodded although she couldn’t see him. “I know.”

“How are you?” She asked.

“Same as always.” He answered.

There was really nothing else to say between the two of them. They’d said every thing they needed to say to each other years ago. Sometimes Horatio thought he’d like to see her again, to be able to talk about what happened without all the pain and the anger and the desperation. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, if he’d ever be ready for that. He wasn’t sure if she was ready for it either.

They said their goodbye’s and hung up. Horatio knew that they wouldn’t talk to each other again until next year. Unless they met up in a case, but he doubted that would happen. Laura usually handled things with swing-shift.

As he walked from the kitchen into the livingroom he stopped for a few minutes to look at some pictures on the mantelpiece. There was one of him and Laura on their wedding day, he didn’t know why he hadn’t taken it off the mantelpiece and put it away after they’d gotten divorced. There was another one of Ryan when he’d been born. There was one of Ryan at the same age when he’d been taken. There was one of the only sand-castle he and Ryan had ever built together.

In the livingroom stood a big cabinet with several drawers. Horatio squatted down on his hunches and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a box and opened it. The first thing in the box was a beige teddybear, Peter and a pair of small babyshoes. They’d been Ryan’s. He and Laura had wanted to get them bronzed, but they hadn’t had the time before and after… it had been too difficult to deal with.

Another item was Ryan’s birth certificate. Horatio slowly traced the ink of Ryan’s name with his finger.

Ryan Raymond Caine.

To Be Continued…