
ON HOLD/being rewritten
Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,961 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 02-03-08 - Published: 01-11-08 - id: 4005006
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xxxx
The first thing he noticed was the lack of hurt. That confused him for some reason, though he didn't know why. For some reason, it seemed as though he should hurt. The second thing he noticed was the strange feeling spreading through his chest—cool warmth, as though water and sunlight had mixed.
He opened his eyes slowly, letting his eyes accustom themselves to the light before even trying to look around. He was safe here, he knew that. Neither his eye nor his arm pulsed with any kind of warning.
He paused at that thought, wondering at it. Why would arm or eye warn him of anything? He couldn't remember. He raised his left hand to his eye, touching rough red skin to a scarred eyelid. He pulled the hand back, eyeing it with distant interest, turning it to observe the back.
The glowing cross was familiar—but then, why shouldn't it be? It was his hand.
The green glow pulsed, brightening for a moment, and he felt something moving inside his mind, offering information and memory in cool, clinical terms.
Gray eyes blinked in brief confusion, then a small, relieved smile touched the boy's face. My name is Allen Walker. I am an Exorcist. Mana gave me this eye to see Akuma. My Innocence… saved me.
He heard a sound at the door and turned his head, listening to the feeling in his head identifying the person. :Komui:
"Allen-kun!" The man gave a genuine smile of relief, his glasses glinting in the light, "You're awake! How are you feeling?"
He thought that over. "Strange…" It really was strange. Everything seemed a bit distant, colors more washed out than he thought they should be.
"Strange?" The scientist came closer, concerned. "Strange how? Are you in pain?"
Allen shook his head, smiling slightly. "No. I feel as though I should be, but I'm not. It's strange, that's all."
Komui was silent for several moments, considering. "Allen-kun… do you remember what happened?"
Allen shook his head again.
Komui pushed his glasses up his nose, apparently deciding whether or not to be worried. "I see."
Allen tilted his head, feeling vaguely curious. "What did happen?"
"You and Kanda were on a mission together and ran into Akuma."
Allen froze as the presence in his mind made itself known again, prodding forth memories that had been blocked off by a haze in his mind that he hadn't even been aware of until it was forcibly dissipated by a flash of heat and cold. The sensation of water and sunlight morphed into fiery ice as the word 'Akuma' brought forth :rage: not his own.
He gasped as the burning cold intensified, then shuddered. His arm pulsed briefly, light flashing from imbedded Innocence, and the strange sensations eased, cooled and warmed into something bearable—almost comforting.
"Allen!" Hands on his shoulders, pressing as though turn and restrain—
It took both shout and shake to make him realize he'd curled onto his side, clutching at his chest with a low keen resonating in his throat. But everything was calming, so he let himself go limp and be rolled onto his back, tolerated fingers prodding at his bandaged chest and wrapping about his wrist to check his pulse.
"What happened, Allen? Are you all right?"
Allen opened his eyes, weary blue-gray flicking towards wire-rimmed glass before slowly sliding shut. He couldn't work up the energy to answer and sank gratefully into the familiar haze of sleep.
xxxx
Kanda blinked when he heard a knock at the door, turning his head to regard the wood behind his back. The knocking wasn't very urgent, so he was tempted to ignore it until a vague thought brushed his mind.
Allen wouldn't ignore someone at his door, no matter what.
Kanda stood, stretching muscles cramped by long hours sitting against cold stone and hard wood, then bending to pick up Mugen and place the blade on the table. "Come," he called to the unseen visitor.
The door cracked open almost hesitantly, and Kanda turned to raise an irritated eyebrow in its direction, waiting to see who it was before deciding what to say.
One jade eye poked around the edge of the door, peering into the room from beneath bright red bangs.
Kanda sighed. Bookman's apprentice was a… an ally, he supposed. An irritating ally, to be sure, but a good Exorcist and a good friend to Allen. Which meant he wouldn't be turned away at the door, despite Kanda's first inclination.
"Uh… Yu?"
Kanda's other eyebrow rose. Lavi, being timid? Unheard of!
"Are you coming in or not?" the swordsman demanded, turning back to glare at the lotus.
He heard movement and the door clicking shut. "Yu… are you OK?" there was a slight pause, "I mean, I went to see Allen, and he looked awful, but something weird happened, and I think he's OK, now… and Komui said you weren't doing too well, so I thought…"
"I'm fine." Kanda's terse reply cut off the nervous rambling before Lavi's second sentence caught up to his mind and he spun, "Allen's all right?"
Lavi blinked his one eye, then nodded. "It was weird. One minute, he was dying, I mean his heart stopped and everything, and the next… His Innocence did something and there was all this glowing mist, and suddenly he was fine. Well, not fine fine, but his heart started back up and this weird silver-green glowing stuff patched up his chest and he coughed a bunch of blood out of his lungs and fell asleep."
Lavi was acting strange today, Kanda decided. Still, he supposed he was as well. This whole business with Moyashi was enough to upset anyone, especially those who knew the annoying white runt.
Kanda returned his attention to the redhead in time to catch the concern leveled in his direction.
"Are you sure you're all right, Yu?" Lavi asked.
Kanda gave a slight nod, "I'm fine." This time, it sounded much more believable as the relief he felt at the cursed Exorcist's apparent recovery settled. Allen would be all right.
"So… what did happen?" Lavi sat on the bed without so much as a by-your-leave.
Kanda tossed a glare in the redhead's direction before going to lean against the opposite wall. "We ran into Akuma."
There was silence for a time as Lavi waited for him to elaborate.
"That's it?"
No answer.
"That's it? You ran into Akuma and that's all you have to say? Geez, Yu, can you be anymore vague?" Lavi paused and snorted, waving a hand. "Nevermind, of course you can. Now, really, what happened?"
All right, so the annoyance wouldn't let this go. Kanda suppressed a growl and glared, tempted to reach for Mugen just to be able to hold the comforting weight of steel in his hands. He refrained from actually doing so and closed his eyes instead.
"I do not wish to speak of it."
Lavi snorted, "Really? I never would have guessed."
Kanda cracked one eye open to examine his unwanted guest, wondering at the acid humor in that voice. It was unlike the Junior Bookman to be so… sardonic. But then, he didn't really know the other Exorcist well—he made a point of not growing too attached. The others always died in the end.
But Allen… he wasn't a friend. All right, so he was—but Kanda was not his friend in return. Or, that's what he told himself. But he couldn't deny the absolute horror he had felt when the smaller Exorcist had been struck, the confusion that, even with his chest laid open, the boy had only thought of Kanda's safety and not his own life.
He couldn't deny the guilt he still felt over the Moyashi's injury, the guilt that outweighed even the humiliated anger that he hadn't realized the 'man' was an Akuma. The guilt that Allen Walker had been injured, nearly unto death, defending him when he didn't need to be saved.
Not that he didn't try to—deny any and all of those things. But he knew the truth of them, even if he would never admit to any of them. And he knew that somehow, impossibly, the naive Exorcist had worked past his shields enough to win some kind of regard. Somehow, Allen's ideals touched something long left quietly dormant in the back of his soul and brought out a trace of the person he could have been, if not for that person and his own lust for revenge.
He mentally snarled away the unwelcome thoughts and forced his attention back to the one-eyed redhead.
"Well?"
Kanda repressed a sigh. There was no getting out of it—he'd have to tell Lavi something. "Fine. He took a hit for me. The baka thought he was saving my life." Irritation mixed with guilt. He'd told Moyashi time and again—those gestures of camaraderie were completely lost on him. What would it take to get it through the runt's head?
Kanda completely failed to notice that the referance of 'the moyashi' had turned into a nickname in his head just as surely as he failed to notice that he'd begun to think of the smaller Exorcist by name as well.
xxxx
OK, so that could have ended better, but I'm tired of working on this chapter. So, anything else will be relegated to the next. That aside, I will not be using Japanese terms except in Kanda's occasional 'slips', as he's the only native Japanese speaker I've yet identified in the Anime. It is, after all, set mainly in England… London, even. But I like to slip a few words—such as 'moyashi' and 'baka' that seem like things Kanda would make a habit of using—in. Most should be translatable from context, but 'moyashi' is 'beansprout' for anyone who's confused on that one. It's rather vague.
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