Chapter Nine
The Clarity

Penelo’s blood was boiling when she walked toward the Sandsea Tavern. What was wrong with men? First there were the ones that were supposed to be your friends, but who went and did the stupidest things. What had Larsa even been thinking? He’d kissed her, in the middle of the ballroom, where hundreds of people had been milling around. Rumors were going to start. Did he not think about these things at all? Word was going to get back to Judge Galheim.

And to Basch.

Her mind had been circling around that particular topic since she’d run away from him. And she’d tried to avoid thinking about him, but she couldn’t any more. Half of her had hoped he would follow her, though she knew that was stupid, silly, and just … immature. He couldn’t risk himself like that … and he’d already risked an awful lot by being in Rabanastre at all.

She slowed her walk, not wanting to be amid the crowd at the tavern quite yet. She needed to a few minutes to get her thoughts in order; needed to calm down a bit. And that meant she needed to figure out why she was so angry with him. She had been the one who had kissed him. Just because he had kissed back … it didn’t mean anything. She took him by surprise, he was acting on instinct … there were many explanations, good ones. But only for the first kiss.

There was no getting around the fact that he had initiated the second kiss. And it had been … Penelo stopped and leaned back against one of the brick pillars in front of Migelo’s shop, closing her eyes briefly. She’d been kissed before, many, many times. But never in her life had anyone kissed her like Basch had kissed her. And she’d never wanted anything quite so badly in her life, as she’d wanted him, in that moment.

That kiss had changed everything for her. Inexplicably, he had gone from being Basch to being … well, Basch. That wasn’t the issue, though. The problem was that now, to her, she knew she’d never be able to stop thinking of him like that, and that … well, that could complicate a lot of things. Things like Emperors, and duties, and, well, whole lives.

And there it was. With perfect clarity, she understood why she was so angry. Because he’d rejected her. He’d weighed his options -- that’s what the second kiss was about, obviously -- and ultimately, had chosen his duty and honor over a poor, orphaned dancing girl from Rabanastre. So she wasn’t angry at all, then.

She was humiliated. She made it so damn easy for him, too. Penelo, wearing her heart on her sleeve again, letting him see just what she was feeling. Damn him. He shouldn’t have kissed her like that if he didn’t mean it at all. She hadn’t ever thought that Basch wascruel, until now.

She considered turning around and going to her apartment in Lowtown, but she couldn’t let the troupe down like that. And besides. She really needed a drink.

---

Penelo woke up the next morning with the worst headache of her life. The dim light in her bedroom was enough to make her wince, and she groaned as she rolled out of bed and made her way to the kitchen.

Vaan was sitting at the table. “Remind me not to go out drinking with them ever again,” she mumbled. The memories of the previous evening after she’d left Basch and arrived at the Sandsea were fuzzy, at best.

But she remembered Madhu. A lot of Madhu. She wasn’t even sure how they’d gotten Madhu in Rabanastre, any way. Someone had to have brought it in from Bhujerba.

“You look terrible,” Vaan said cheerfully. “The hell’d you drink last night? You didn’t drink the Madhu Balthier brought, did you?”

Penelo shot him a scathing look. Of course it was the damn pirate. And he knew she couldn’t tolerate that stuff. But if she recalled correctly -- and she very well might not be -- he’d been the one pouring her cup after cup of the stuff. And she’d talked to him for a very long time, she remembered that much. Oh, gods. Had she told him about kissing Basch? Oh, gods, what had she told him? He probably ran and told Ashe all about it, too. Oh, this just made her lifeperfect.She dropped her face into her hands and moaned.

“Penelo?” Vaan asked carefully.

“What are youdoing here, anyway?” she asked him from behind her hands.

“Aside from the fact that I live here, you mean?” Vaan asked.

“I thought you’d be out by now, that’s all,” she said snappishly, glaring at him.

“Cranky,” Vaan remarked. “I was going to, but then a messenger from the palace showed up, with this. Said it was important that you got it. So I waited.”

Penelo arched her eyebrow. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” she asked him.

“I was going to, but you were talking in your sleep. Actually, it was more like you were yelling at someone. And I didn’t want to get involved. I get yelled at by you enough when you’re awake.”

Penelo’s eyes widened. “I was yelling? Did I -- what did I say?”

Vaan looked at her, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know. Something about someone being a self-righteous bastard, I think.”

Penelo laughed uncomfortably. “Guess it was just some weird dream.” She held out her hand. “What did the messenger bring?”

Vaan handed her the envelope. Penelo was amazed to see that it was actually still sealed. “You didn’t read it?”

“I’m not five, Penelo. It’s addressed to you.” Vaan rolled his eyes.

Penelo sighed and opened the letter. “It’s from Larsa,” she said, her stomach knotting up a little bit. She read on, her eyes widening as she did. “Oh, no!” she cried. “Oh, no, no, no, no!”

“What’s wrong?” Vaan asked, standing up and trying to read over her shoulder.

“I was supposed to have lunch with Larsa today … but Judge Galheim is insisting that they leave this morning.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Vaan said, not really sure why this news was sending his friend into near-hysterics.

“No, you don’t understand!” she cried. “Basch is here, but no one’s supposed to know. And he’s supposed to leave this morning … but … there’s no way the public airships will make it back to Archades before Larsa’s does!”

“If no one’s supposed to know, then why do you know?” Vaan asked.

“Vaan!” Penelo snapped. “That doesn’t matter! What matters is … getting to the aerodrome before he gets on that stupid airship. Because if he’s not at Solidor Manse when they get back … it’ll be bad. Just trust me, okay? Your airship isn’t fast enough. Don’t get all cranky and defensive about it now,” she said when she saw the expression on his face, “it just isn’t. Go to the palace and get Balthier and meet me in the aerodrome in twenty minutes. I am not kidding.”

She ran back to her room and threw on the first outfit she came across, and then hurried out and into the busy Lowtown streets. She pushed her way through the crowd and made her way up the steps to the streets of Rabanastre.

The desert morning was already blazingly hot, but Penelo scarcely noticed as she raced through the streets. She didn’t really care if people were staring at her. She wasn’t even sure that Basch hadn’t left yet, but if he hadshe only hoped it had been hours earlier. If not, well, then, she hoped to catch him before he boarded the airship. And then the Strahl would get him home in plenty of time.

She reached the aerodrome in what she was sure was record time, and stepped inside the cool interior, feeling nauseous from her hangover, the heat, and her exertion combined. “Oh, I’m going to kill Balthier,” she groaned as her stomach flipped. She steadied herself against the wall, praying that she wouldn’t be sick here.

She quickly took in her surroundings, and was glad that the aerodrome did not appear to be very busy this morning. Too many people recovering from the fete last night, she was sure. Which is what she would have liked to be doing, truth be told.

She wished she didn’t care so much, but she couldn’t risk Basch getting into some kind of trouble. More trouble than he was already in, of course. He wouldn’t tell her … but things were very very wrong in Archades. And it was really her fault that he was in Rabanastre to begin with. She still wasn’t sure that she bought the excuse about him being in Dalmasca because of Larsa. Not entirely, anyway. But she also knew that he hadn’t come for her, either.

She shook her head in exasperation, and grimaced as the motion caused a new wave of queasiness to wash over her. She didn’t have time to be worrying about all that now. She had an Judge Magister’s ass to save.

At that moment, she saw Larsa and Judge Galheim enter the aerodrome. Her eyes widened and she quickly dove behind the row of benches near the entrance to hide herself from their view. She just couldn’t answer questions this morning about why she was here. The only good news was that if Basch had already left, he might make it back to Archades in time.

He entered the aerodrome five minutes later. Penelo darted out from her hiding spot, grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him back down behind the benches with her.

“Penelo, what is going on?” he asked her, concern all over his face and in his voice. “Are you all right?”

Penelo felt all the anger and embarrassment from the previous evening fading away at the uneasy tone in his voice. He was truly worried. About her.

“Shh,” she said, smiling a little. “I’m fine.”

“Then what …?”

“I’m really sorry about this. But Larsa and Judge Galheim are here, right now. Getting ready to head back to Archades.” She pointed, and she watched the color drain out of Basch’s face as he confirmed this fact. The expression on his face chilled her.

Gods, she wished he would tell her what was wrong. He looked genuinely afraid. And Basch wasn’t a man who was given to fear.

“I … I won’t make it back to Archades before they do,” he said slowly, as though he were contemplating his options.

“Yes, you will. Vaan has gone to get Balthier, and they’ll be here soon. The Strahl will get you home in plenty of time,” Penelo told him firmly. She closed her eyes as the newest wave of nausea rolled over her.

“You’re ill,” Basch said, scrutinizing her carefully. She looked very pale today, and there were circles under her eyes.

“Completely self-afflicted,” she told him, trying to keep her tone light. “Actually, that’s a lie. Completely Balthier-inflicted. He brought Madhu to the Sandsea last night. Guess he thought I needed it.” She looked up then, and her eyes met his.

Neither one of them could bring themselves to look away, and Penelo found herself leaning forward. His mouth was only inches from hers, and for a moment, they were sharing the same breath. Electricity crackled in the air, mixing with anticipation, and Penelo waited, afraid to close that last little bit of distance between them, wanting him to do it, to prove that she was wrong about him.

Instead, he cleared his throat and sat back. “About last night,” he said. “I would apologize.”

Penelo exhaled in frustration and shook her head. “Basch, don’t do this. Just … I’m embarrassed enough, okay? Don’t make it worse.”

“Embarrassed?” he asked, genuinely puzzled. “You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Oh, really?” she retorted. “Rejection is a humiliating experience, if you didn’t know,” she said coldly, not looking at him.

“Penelo.” Basch’s voice was pained.

“It’s okay, Basch. I understand. And I’m not mad. I just don’t want to talk about it any more. It happened. It was a stupid thing, and it’s not going to happen again. End of discussion,” Penelo hoped her eyes didn’t betray what she was saying.

She looked up and saw Vaan entering the aerodrome with Balthier and Fran right behind him. “They’re here. I’m going to go distract Larsa while they get you to the Strahl.”

“Penelo.” Basch’s voice was firmer now. His hand wrapped around her wrist before she could stand up. “I did not reject you. I don’t have that luxury. I’ve told you, my life is not …”

Penelo shook her head in frustration. “Your own. I know, I heard you last night. Just don’t,” she said quietly. “It doesn’t make things better.” She stood up then, and made her way to the other side of the aerodrome, where Larsa and Judge Galheim waited.

“Penelo!” Larsa said, his face lighting up.

Penelo smiled. “I came to see you off. I’m very sorry we couldn’t have lunch today, as planned. Can you sit for awhile, at least?”

“I’m afraid not,” Judge Galheim cut in. “We must be getting back to Archades with all haste. There’s been some urgent state business that has popped up, you know.”

“Of course,” Penelo said, forcing herself to remain civil.

“You will come to Archades next month, won’t you? For my birthday?” Larsa asked then.

Penelo turned her attention back to him. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Well, then,” Judge Galheim said. “It looks like the airship is ready, my lord. Shall we be off?” She turned to Penelo. “And I suppose we shall see you next month.”

“I look forward to it,” Penelo replied as Judge Galheim made her way to the private hangar where all diplomatic guests docked their airships.

Penelo turned to embrace Larsa then, and was once again taken by surprise when he pressed his lips to hers. It was a quicker, gentler kiss than the one last night had been -- but just as sudden and unbidden. And when her eyes flashed up, she caught sight of Basch as he entered Hangar Two, where the Strahl was docked.

He was looking right at them, and he saw the whole thing. Penelo didn’t even have a chance to read his expression, because he was gone.

“There is much we must discuss when next we meet,” Larsa whispered in her ear before pulling away.

Penelo could only nod. She tore her eyes away from the spot where Basch had been standing and looked back at Larsa. “Y-yes, of course,” she said, and her voice sounded hollow to her. She hoped that Larsa didn’t notice. She waited until she was sure that they were in the hangar and therefore, out of sight, before she sank down to the floor in front of a large pile of luggage.

What a perfectly fine mess this was.