“Oh, great Iososis, we offer to you this sacrifice!”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” said Tommy.

“I don’t see why not,” said Billy, “It happens a lot.”

“Yeah, to you.”

“Iososis, accept these powerful virgin twins and grant us your divine favor!”

“… what?” said Tommy. “Virgin twins?”

“You mean we’re going to die because you haven’t had sex?” said Billy.

“Wait, me?”

“You’re the one who rushes into things,” said Billy, “Why are you a virgin?”

“Kate doesn’t put out.”

“You two are dating?”

“No.”

“That might be why.”

“You’re the one with the boyfriend,” said Tommy, “Why don’t you put out?”

“We’re waiting.” said Billy.

“Oh, come on.”

“What? We haven’t been dating that long. And we’ve never had a real relationship before,” said Billy, “It’s harder to find dates when you’re gay.”

“I’d use that as a reason to have sex sooner, not later.” said Tommy.

“Oh god.” said Billy.

“Yeah, I think that’s the god.”

“I saw something like that in an anime once.”

“…was it porn?” said Tommy.

“Kind of.”

“We are so screwed. Literally.”

“Oh god.” said Billy.