Disclaimer; I do NOT own Squaresoft, the characters, or anything of that matter. IF I did, then Cloud and Tifa would have confessed their feelings, Aerith would have never existed, and Sephiroth would of tried to take over the world with penguins :)

A/N; This basically takes place before Advent Children...when Cloud gets the geostigma and such. Yeah. Plus, I'm kind of a newbie on here so cut me some slack. This is my first story/chapter so far xD. Read, review, and thanks for readin'!

Darkness.

Silence.

Darkness.

Come on, sleep already.

Stillness.

This is the third week, Cloud. The THIRD week you haven’t slept well.

What?

Whats wrong?

Whats happening?

Blue optics fluttered open, vision blurred for a second as the appearance of the austere ceiling greeted him. Pain immediately enveloped his cranium throbbing uncontrollably. His eyes squinted shut. His head hurt. His body felt stiff. His mind couldn’t sleep. Great. With a vitriol sigh, his eyes reopened boring once again at the ceiling.

Maybe if I just lye here…maybe I’ll just fall asleep…

I’ll dream.

I’ll drift…

Yeah. Right. He’d been trying that for how many hours, days, weeks…and still nothing. He’ll just force himself up again and drown himself in beers to fall asleep and find that same worried visage on her face again. Her concerned face. Lord…how he hated seeing that bright and early in the morning. He felt guilty every time. But…what else can he do to get to bed? Seriously, he had deliveries in the morning to do; he had a job to do. Can’t be tired on the job. Beer was the only hope.

Groaning, the brute managed to lift his body up, sitting on his bed staring across the sheets slightly perplexed. He exhaled, chest feeling heavy and numb while his legs were in no mood to move. Spidery fingers rubbed at his blue-green eyes trying to remove his hazy sight. He felt totally out of it and drained. He eventually shifted his body out of the blankets and sheet letting his feet touch the floorboard.

Eyes drifted towards the window for a moment, catching how blue the room was from the illuminating moon cascading into the room. The violet sky was starry, streaked with charcoal cirrus clouds. It was a tranquil night, peaceful and full of serenity. Why could he feel like that for once? Why couldn’t he sleep with that feeling for just one night? Why were his nights always full of nightmares? Darkness?

“Gah, fucking…” He cursed as he soon came back to his senses. The male soon stood, taking a haste stride over towards the bathroom before he headed downstairs to the bar. He flicked on the light, catching his reflected image upon the mirror first. His eyes squinted hard, still adjusting to the light. He looked obviously terrible. Feathery blond, naturally spiky hair materialized flattened, bangs touching his forehead tenderly. With the lack of sleep, deep plum colored bags draped underneath his tainted optics as eye crust crusted them. His skin seemed to lose even its natural color.

A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned forward resting his head against the mirror. Lord. He wanted no one to see him like this. No one. Not even her. God, no. One look could break him apart and make him leave for sure to stop hurting her. Leaning back, he sucked it up, took a quick piss and headed out of his room.

The hallway was dark, black dark having only a faint blue hue. Gees, he could barely make out where the stairs were as his eyes again had to adjust to the dark. His hands felt, as his feet took precise steps and balancing his weight in case he stepped on a creek. They worked around, until his hand touched something incredibly cold, slick, and circular. Naturally he pushed for a brief moment until the loudest creek erupted from the door. His body froze, his breathing ceased, everything stopped. Nothing moved. Sapphire eyes flickered over towards motion, slight movement within the sheets, shifting movement. It was her room. He held his breath until he had to breathe and till the shifting stopped. …Silence. He got lucky. If Marlene was here, she would have confronted him within a split second. That in meaning how of a light sleeper she was. It was often the child would enter his room, noticing his restless nights and his dreaming. She knew more of the problem than her.

Relieved, he started for a moment into the room. It too was blue hued, the same moonlight shimmering inside upon her rested body. She was there, lying in the blankets with the bed taking her shape. She laid on her side with a single layer of blankets wrapped around her frame, clearly forming her curves. Her head rested against the pillow as her dark chestnut hair spilled against the whiteness touching her ivory flesh of face and shoulders. Pale pink lips seemed as if locked in his small smile as she rested. Lashes kissed at her cheeks as she slept on, dreaming. She looked peaceful and calm, making him envy her almost. Her face…Her body…Her lips…everything…She was beauteous beyond words.

Abruptly, Cloud stumbled back, noticing he’d been examining her for quite some time. Grunting, he took meek steps and slithered downstairs to the bar. All was quiet and silence like normal. No Marlene. No Tifa. Just Cloud and himself and cases of beers. He brought haste in finding his first one for the night and soon sucking it down his throat. Bitter. It was strange to Cloud to drink like this actually. He hardly ever drank, until now, drinking only to make him fall asleep. He then opened another, taking his time for this one and think.

Nightmares…pain…

…Reunion

Jenova.

…Wait, what?

The man shook his head as his fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose. What the hell was that for? Reunion? Jenova? Suddenly, his left arm throbbed with cutting pain. His heart raced for a moment, the pain spreading to his shoulder feeling like it was eating away at him. His fingers felt as if electric shocks were being bolted through them, limp. He twitched, throwing the beer out of his other hand and grasping his arm clutching tightly. The crash of his beer bottle was heard as the liquid swam to the floor. He stumbled back into the counter with his teeth grinding in utter pain. His eyes shut. His head thumped. His breathing slowed. His body stiff. A small cry of agony coughed out, as he groaned.

No…

Please

Please don’t be black…

“Cloud!”

He struggled to keep his balance as the pain continued to smite him. Though potent, soft hands grabbed his shoulders holding him in balance. His head grew light. Quickly he took a daring glance to his arm, which still remained it same color.

“Are you all right?”

Her voice…

“Cloud!”

Forcing his eyes open, a pair of worrisome alarmed ones stared back, brown and wine colored. He stared for a moment almost trying to recognize those close, familiar eyes…all in the while his pain seemed to fade.

“…Tifa?”

“Cloud? Are you okay?”

“I--…yeah.”

“What happened? Were you drinking again?”

“I’m…not sure.”

Tifa sighed, releasing her grip off of his broad shoulders back to her sides. She looked tiresome. Her straight hair sat messily on her shoulders and forehead as her eyes shook with flickering emotions and feelings. She stood there barefooted, dressed in only a white tang top, which revealed too much of her black bra, and black soffees tied to fit just at her waste. It was her normal dress to bed when Marlene or anyone wasn’t around.

“Cloud…” She looked away to the floorboards, a hurtful expression holding in her eyes.

He stepped back putting on his usual impassive look across his face. He waited. Secretly, he loathed seeing her like this and the awkward silences between them. How he longed for better communications skills.

“Teef?”

“I just--…look, I just want you to know that I’m here for you, okay? You can tell me anything, you know I’ll listen and understand, right?”

She looked back up again, this time making eye contact with her childhood friend meaning she was stern.

“If something’s wrong just tell me. I can help you.”

“…I know,” He muttered, eyes breaking the lock drifting to her lips as a troubled look smeared across his visage.

“Okay…I’m just letting you know that I’m always open for you…”

Her eyes drifted past him, Cloud noticed. His gazed followed hers as he turned to see what she was looking at. Of course, how could he forget his beer shattered in thousands of lost pieces with the liquid still inking and waxing all over the floor? There it all sat waiting for Tifa or someone to clean it up.

“It’s all right. I got it,” Tifa said as she breezed by him grabbing a wash cloth hanging from the oven on her way. He watched her kneel down picking at the glass and throwing them away next to the trash can near her. He hated seeing her doing that. It was his mess and his fault he dropped the damn thing. She shouldn’t have to clean up his mistakes, damn it!

“No, I’ll clean it up. It’s my mess. Here…” The blond soon then knelt down next to the barmaid grabbing all the broken glass he could hope to cease her work.

“Cloud! Be careful!”

Too late.

After throwing all the chunks of the bottle away his hands dripped in fresh, crimson blood. Tiny slits swathed his palms from the cuts of glass. He stared at his hands for a moment, inhaling the scent of iron in the blood.

“Look at you…all right. Go upstairs into my bathroom and wash your hands off. I’ll clean and wrap them before you head to bed again,”

“—But”

“Don’t worry about it, just go,” She ordered motioning with her head tilted towards the stairs. “Everything’s okay.”

Sighing he obeyed, knowing that there was going to be absolutely no possible way to win the quarrel. He got up ambling to the stairs and into her room, back into the gloomy blue world. There, he saw her bed again; blankets and sheet tangled seeing how she unwrapped herself. He continued on, feeling the blood course between his fingers almost dripping.

Flicking on the light switch, now covered in his blood, he dumped his hands into the sink turning on the cold water, cooling his burning cuts. The blue-eyed man watched as the blood churned with the water turning a rusty brown color almost and down the drain.

What’s wrong with me?

What was that pain I felt?

…Jenova…?

Him?

What?

“Cloud?”

He jumped. The voice was so unexpected for him. He had let his guard down.

Tifa stood there in the door way with her hands occupied with rubbing alcohol, a cotton ball, and bandage wraps for his wounds.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you while you were in thought. Here, let me see your hands.” She turned and returned to her bed, sitting on the edge waiting for him.

Turning off the water faucet and wiping his hands, he dragged himself over with emotions firing off inside; alien, foreign emotions…

The bathroom light spilled on them as Tifa worked with Cloud’s hands, bubbling and burning from the alcohol. She was delicate, though, making it as comforting and relaxing as she could which was working. Cloud just abreast from her felt totally…different being close to her like this. Self-possessed, devotion, desire. He loved the feelings even though his muscles twitched at the flaming sensation of his palms.

“Almost done…” She hummed, complete focused on his hands. After her last dab with the saturated cotton ball Tifa enfolded the wrapping bandages, her work finished.

“All right?” The brunette woman questioned, her eyes looking as if smiling at him.

“Yeah…thanks.”

Strangely, she still held his hands in hers staring at them for a moment tracing up his arm to his chest and finally back to his eyes. All in the while Cloud just sat there, clueless on what do to next, at her side waiting to be released from her. A sigh released from her parted lips.

“Cloud…I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past weeks. You haven’t been yourself. Even though we don’t talk as much or see each other that much I can still sense that you’re not okay. You drink heavier; you’re in more physical and metal pain…” She stopped for a moment, wondering if she’d went too far for him still locking eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He asserted, sulking inside.

“You tell me you’re all right, but when I look at you…you’re not. Honestly, I’m a little tired of waiting for you to tell me something or talk to me again, but I know why you distance yourself from me. And---“

“Tifa,” Cloud growled, slipping his hands out from hers. “I’m fine. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“How can I? You’re always out, you never call, and we hardly ever talk to each other!”

“I just…need some time.”

The barmaid suddenly hushed, her eyes dropping to her hands concealing her true emotions flickering inside as he said that. And he knew why she stopped. He knew what she was thinking. Her. He didn’t want her to think that; if she did then their whole communication would go downhill, the last thing he wanted. He was getting over the past quite well, though often it would come back and haunt him. But other than that he was getting over it.

“Wait. Tifa, it’s not what you think.”

“Right,” She muttered. “Go back to bed, Cloud.” The brown-eyed woman then rose from her position and strode into the bathroom, also signaling his time to exit. Ireful, he sighed.

Shit.