Replacement

Characters: Charlie/Kate, Sawyer, mentions of Jack and Claire
Rating:PG-13
Setting: Season One, All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don’t own Lost. You know how it works.
Note: Written for challenge 63 - unconventional pairings on lostfichallenge.
Summary: After Claire goes missing, someone new works her way into Charlie’s life.

---

When Jack left Charlie alone for the night, she kissed him.

She didn’t know why. Maybe it was her own fear of losing one of their own. They had become such a close-knit group that any loss would break them. It had nearly broken Jack…and in a way, it had. Even though Charlie had survived the hanging. And it certainly had taken a toll on her, as well.

And Claire was still gone.

That was what made the kiss worse.

Charlie had pulled away quickly, only letting her lips move against his briefly. Ashamed, Kate muttered a ‘sorry’ and glanced down at the ground. When she regained the courage to look back up at him, he was intently staring ahead, his forehead crinkled in apparent frustration and his jaw tightly clenched. Kate frowned and touched his knee lightly.

“Charlie, I’m sorry, I-”

Charlie’s eyes fell shut. “Go away, Kate.”

Kate winced and stood up slowly, watching him to see if there was any change in his expression. There wasn’t. Guilt immediately washed over her as she half-ran back to her cave and into it’s seclusion. She had no right to kiss him - not after what he had gone through. Not when Claire was missing.

The truth was that she had always had a slight attraction to him. He was funny in an awkward sort of way - a sweet face in a sea of tense and serious ones. It was just unfair that someone like him was left to die, hanging from that tree. She didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if Jack hadn’t been so damn persistent.

Kate wasn’t that great with relationships or guys, anyway. She wasn’t able to read them very well, and was often confused on what they wanted, exactly. She usually acted on impulse and then thought about it later. Now she was standing in the middle of her cave, a terrified look on her face, as she thought about what she did to Charlie.

He had already went through so much - some of it he was even refusing to talk about. Even to Jack, who had his ways of making people open up. And now the crazy girl who never showed much interest in him before was randomly kissing him? It was too much.

And while she tried to convince herself she hadn’t meant anything of it, she knew that was a lie.

---

Only a few days later she found him on the beach, staring down at a suitcase that was lying open in the sand. She approached him hesitantly, determined to apologize and not be so nervous. When he saw her walking towards him, he glanced back down and grabbed the suitcase.

“Charlie…” Kate said as she came to a stop in front of him. “I’m sorry about everything. I don’t know what happened, ok?”

Charlie pursed his lips, considering this. Kate found herself holding her breath as she waited for a response. After what seemed like several minutes, Charlie nodded slightly and offered her the faintest smile.

“We all weren’t thinking right that night,” Charlie muttered. However, Kate wasn’t convinced that he was actually letting this go.

“Who’s bag is this?” Kate asked, desperate to change the subject as she gestured at the suitcase Charlie was now holding.

“It’s Claire’s…” Charlie sighed. “But someone took her diary.”

Kate winced. It was painfully obvious who took it. And in a matter of time, they were fighting with Sawyer, who took no time to humiliate Charlie right in front of her. A few fists were thrown, but no real harm was done. Charlie walked away the winner, but there was no doubt he would’ve been beaten pretty severely if Kate hadn’t held back Sawyer.

Sawyer told her he hadn’t read the diary, and Kate decided to believe him. When she was about to walk away to make sure Charlie was ok, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back around to face him.

“So I hear you and him got a little close last night,” Sawyer muttered, glaring.

Kate rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away. “How do you know? And what does it matter, anyway?”

“There’re other people living here too, Sweetcheeks. Word gets around. And who says it matters?”

Kate turned away quickly and started walking towards the caves after Charlie.

“Does Jack know?”

Kate paused and turned around. “I don’t know. And even if he does, I don’t see any reason why it would matter to me.”

---

Kate found Charlie sitting alone at the caves, staring down at Claire’s bags like he had that morning. She hesitated slightly before sitting down next to him. A long, awkward silence followed before Charlie finally spoke.

“I can fight my own battles, Kate.”

Kate frowned and looked down at her shoes. “I know, but I was worried about you. I didn’t want you to have to be alone like this.”

Charlie shrugged. “I‘ve gotten pretty used to it.”

Kate could tell he was trying to brush it off like it didn’t matter. But she could see the softness in his blue eyes that showed he desperately wanted someone to be there for him, but just didn’t know where to find that person. And Kate knew that person had to be Claire.

Kate sighed and stood up. She couldn’t even try to take Claire’s place - not without upsetting him. She was about to cross a very thin line, and if she did that Charlie would think less of her than he did now. Throwing him an apologetic look, she walked away.

---

Kate had fallen into a deep sleep, exhausted by the day’s events. She figured Charlie had done the same, but then she was awoken by someone sitting dangerously close.

She was wrong - Charlie hadn’t been able to sleep and at some point he had wandered into her cave. She woke up to see him looking down at her. And if he had been anyone else, she probably would’ve not taken it so well.

“Charlie? What’s wrong?” Kate asked sleepily, sitting up and blinking at him. Charlie took no time to explain.

“No one is listening to me,” he said desperately in a whisper so no one else could hear them. “I…I read her diary, and she wrote about these dreams of someone taking her to this place, and I said we should look for her there, but Jack won’t-”

“Charlie, slow down!” Kate demanded, much more awake now. “You read Claire’s diary?”

Charlie shrugged. “Yeah. I know. It was terrible of me…but I…you’re missing the point!”

Kate shook her head, thoroughly confused. “Charlie, they were just dreams she was writing about. They probably don’t mean anything, ok?”

That must’ve been the wrong thing to say, because in the next moment, Charlie was crying. Kate watched him a little awkwardly before entwining her fingers in his and squeezing gently. This only made him cry harder.

“I just want to find her,” Charlie muttered through his tears. “I just thought…maybe…”

“Charlie, we all want to find her,” Kate sighed, running her fingers over his knuckles. “I know. I know this is hard.”

“You don’t,” Charlie shook his head. And then he kissed her.

It was a soft kiss - very tentative and almost shy until she started returning it. Then it became almost desperate and fearful as they lowered themselves onto Kate’s blankets and the kisses turned into groping and muffled sobs, on Charlie’s part. And Kate wondered if he was pretending she was Claire.

---

Kate woke up with her forehead pressed against Charlie’s shoulder. She found herself wishing she would wake up with his arms around her, but they weren’t. In fact, he had his back turned to her.

He woke up soon after and rolled around lazily to face her. She offered him a small smile and he returned it before kissing her softly.

I know this isn’t what you want Kate found herself thinking, but was unable to say the words. It was something they had already agreed on silently, anyway. And while they hadn’t gone past desperate groping last night, she only wondered when Charlie would cave to a larger temptation.

This is my fault.

Her thoughts were shattered by commotion outside her cave. Charlie sat up quickly and ran out and she followed after.

Claire was back.

The End