Warning: This will be a Slash story between two male characters, so if you don’t like it then I suggest you get over it or try another fic. This is a Mature fanfic; so if you don't like mature scenes, then you shouldn’t even be here reading this.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the things you recognize from the Harry Potter books. Also all quotes are not mine, and any marked as unknown are unknown because the sites I got them from did not have the name of the author.

A/N: MATURE SCENES: the mature scenes in this fic have been edited out. For the full version go to my website (links on profile page).

Breath Into Me

And this is how it feels when I
Ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself
When I keep running away from you!
And this is who I am when,
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when
It's all left up to me.

Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I'm falling... falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling,

Falling.
Breathe into me
Breathe into me

And this is how it looks when
I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart
When I finally hit the ground!
And this is how it hurts when
I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear
When I throw myself away!

Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I'm falling... falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling,

Falling.
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe into me!

Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.

Author Unknown

“Harry! Morning, mate! It looks like you got ran over by a hippogriff, but after you collapsed on the bed last night you slept like a log.” Ron greeted Harry by slapping him on his shirtless back as he took his seat at the breakfast table.

Harry merely grunted and reached for the juice.

“Kingsley and Snape got you good, didn’t they?” Fred asked, wincing at the rather large purple bruise adorning their honorary brother’s side, along with a few other healing cuts, bruises, scars, and burns littering him everywhere else.

Harry simply grunted again and reached over Hermione for a slice of toast.

“Well aren’t you just a ball of sunshine this morning,” she commented with a disapproving frown as Harry shoved nearly the entire piece into his mouth and swallowed without hardly chewing, wincing as it went down his sore throat. Hermione studied him for a moment with a critical eye.

“Can you even talk, Harry?” she asked exasperatedly. Without even looking at her, Harry shook his head and reached for another slice.

It wasn’t uncommon after a day of training for Harry to be like this. Harry had asked the Order to start training him after the end of his fifth year, when Sirius had died and he had found out about the prophecy. Dumbledore had been hesitant to allow it, but Harry hadn’t asked for his permission. In the end, the old headmaster had had no choice but to give in. Harry’s training was intense, and more often than not, it left him collapsing in bed at the end of the day.

After his normal classes, Harry would go to the Room of Requirement and train with whoever was there to train him that day. On weekends, it was an all-day thing. From the time he woke up before the sun rose to the time he collapsed in bed late at night he would train, only taking breaks for meals and to use the restroom. This kind of obsessive training wasn’t the Order’s idea, and if an instructor refused to train him, then Harry would train himself without any help.

Over the years, it had gotten easier for them to accept Harry’s obsessive training, but that didn’t make it any easier for them to watch Harry do this to himself. Harry’s need for constant healing had caused Hermione to decide to become a healer. She had ended up studying so much that she already knew practically everything she would need to earn her license. All she had to do now was finish her schooling at Hogwarts and get her NEWT’s.

That is when school started again. After an attack in the middle of their seventh year, the school had been closed indefinitely until things could be cleared up. Now they were staying at Headquarters with most of the Order of the Phoenix, and most of their professors were living with them. Harry had invited anyone who needed a place to stay. In Hermione’s opinion, it was good, considering she was able to keep up with her studies and lessons rather easily. And it was convenient for Harry because he had the professors on hand whenever he suddenly decided he needed extra training in a subject.

“Here.” She sighed and pointed her wand at Harry’s throat. As usual, Harry’s body tensed, and his hand twitched as if to intercept her arm.

Hermione and the others were used to this reaction, so she ignored it. Harry was like a fine-tuned machine. He could go from a dead sleep to ready for battle in a twitch, and any time there was a wand pointed at him, even friendly, they could see that it took all of Harry’s control not to lash out defensively as it had been ingrained in him to do.

“There, is that better?” Hermione then asked once she was finished.

Harry nodded, rubbing his throat and taking a long sip of his juice. “Yeah, thanks,” he then answered verbally in his deep baritone. “Kingsley wanted me to work on my silent spell work again,” he commented, causing Hermione and the others to frown. They didn’t like some of the things Harry was put through in his training, but they kept their mouths shut, knowing that it wouldn’t do anything but make Harry angry by protesting.

“So… umm, Harry did you hear the news?” Ginny questioned, breaking the tense silence that had fallen over the table.

Harry shook his head, finally starting to fill his plate and eat like a normal person. Apparently today was going to be one of his rare day’s off, considering he hadn’t left as soon as he had shoved the first piece of toast down his throat.

“Bill and Charlie are coming to stay for a while here at Headquarters. With the war and everything happening so quickly, they thought it best to stay close to the family, and the Order in case they were needed,” Ginny answered, smiling brilliantly at the thought of her two oldest brothers coming to stay with them.

Harry paused for a moment in eating as his hand wavered, but luckily it went unnoticed by the others as he continued to stare down at his plate. “Really?” He tried to sound as excited as everyone else, even as he felt an uncomfortable tightening in his chest.

“Yeah,” Ginny continued enthusiastically. “Charlie will be here some time this afternoon, and Bill said he’ll be here by dinner — and he says he’s bringing someone along,” she finished with an excited smile.

“Who do you think it’ll be?” Ron asked, looking around at everyone at the table, not noticing that Harry’s hands had suddenly clutched his fork so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

“It’s probably that boyfriend he hinted at to Mom in the letter he sent her a few weeks ago,” Fred replied, glancing at his mother who was doing the dishes with a happy little smile on her face.

“I think they’ve been dating for about four months now,” George commented before stabbing a sausage and shoving it into his mouth.

“I can’t wait to meet him!” Ginny suddenly exclaimed excitedly, nearly hopping in her seat. “Bill’s never brought anyone home. This must be serious. I wonder what he looks like! I bet he’s gorgeous!”

“Ginny, you must not pester the poor man as soon as he gets here, and absolutely no pranks!” Mrs. Weasley admonished firmly, placing another platter of eggs on the table as Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, McGonagall, and a few other Order members and professors began to trickle into the kitchen and quickly fill up the empty spaces around the table.

“What poor man?” Kingsley asked, flopping down into a seat beside the twins as Remus sat himself beside him and across from Harry.

“Bill’s boyfriend,” Hermione answered, as it seemed everyone else was busy eating once again.

Kingsley frowned at this. “Is he planning on joining the Order?” he questioned, pouring himself some pumpkin juice.

“I believe Bill said he was thinking about it, but he would like to speak to Albus first,” Mr. Weasley stated before opening The Daily Prophet and scanning the contents. “The young man’s supposedly a good dueler, and he graduated from a school in Egypt with top marks, although he is originally from here. His father is in politics, so the family moves around a lot. He’s training as an Auror now, and from what I’ve heard he’s a prodigy.”

“How old is he?” Remus asked curiously. The boy must still be young to still be in training.

“Twenty, I believe,” Mr. Weasley answered while looking over an article at the same time.

“How do you know all of this? I didn’t even know Bill had a boyfriend!” Ron exclaimed. He looked at his father incredulously, as if he couldn’t understand how he could have kept this a secret.

Mr. Weasley shrugged his shoulders and turned a page in the paper. “I make it a point to know what’s going on with all of my children. Just because your brothers live in different countries doesn’t mean I don’t keep track of them. And as for not telling you, it’s never come up. Bill’s life is his own, if he wants you to know anything else he will tell you himself,” Ron’s father answered not once looking away from his paper. “Now close your mouth, Ronald. It’s not polite.”

The conversations turned to other subjects, but Harry remained silent unsure about what he was feeling and his appetite now nonexistent. He thought he had gotten over this. He had pushed those emotions down and buried them. Harry shook his head firmly. He couldn’t let this distract him. It meant nothing… it had never meant anything.

“Harry?” Harry’s head snapped up to look at Remus’s frowning face. “I’ve been calling your name… are you okay?” the werewolf asked in concern, as everyone’s attention was now on him.

“Yes. I’m fine,” Harry answered quickly, shaking himself out of it. “I’m just not hungry anymore,” he stated, standing up.

“But, Harry, you’ve only eaten half your plate, and you didn’t eat dinner last night,” Mrs. Weasley protested.

Harry shook his head and turned to leave. A hand caught his wrist, however, and he looked down into Hermione’s concerned eyes.

“Where are you going?” she questioned, loosening her grip as she felt Harry immediately tense. Perhaps it hadn’t been the best idea to grab him.

“Out,” he stated coldly. Then, realizing the way he had sounded, Harry softened a bit and gently pulled his wrist free. “I’m just going to step outside for a moment… get some fresh air.”

“Do you want some company?” Ron asked, moving to stand, but Harry quickly shook his head and motioned him back down.

“No. I’ll just be right outside,” he replied. They reluctantly nodded, letting him go. Harry could feel their concerned eyes boring into his back the entire way out… and he hated it more than anything.

Harry sat on the top step of Grimmauld Place and breathed in the cool, crisp, morning air. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to think of Bill.

I was about half in love with him by the time we sat down. That's the thing about guys. Every time they give you that cocky little smirk... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.

Unknown

His face contained for me all possibilities of fierceness and sweetness, pride and submissiveness, violence, self-containment. I never saw more in it than I had when I saw it first, because I saw everything then. The whole thing in him that I was going to love, and never catch or explain.
Lives of Girls and Women

Harry heard someone coming down the stairs and was horrified to see that it was Bill Weasley.

The oldest Weasley son stopped short at seeing him however and frowned in concern. “What has you down here so late, or should I say early?” he questioned, coming over to the table and taking the seat across from Harry while summoning himself a glass of water.

“Nothing… just… dreams…” Harry managed to stutter out softly, twirling his own cup nervously in his hands, while keeping his eyes focused firmly on the table rather than Bill’s shirtless chest, and trying to fight the blush he could feel creeping up in his cheeks.

“Nightmares?” Bill asked, growing more concerned. He had obviously heard about Harry’s nightmares.

Harry shook his head violently, not wanting to cause Bill to worry.

“Ahhh... Those kinds of dreams then,” Bill stated with a knowing smirk. Harry’s face immediately blazed with embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it, Harry. You’re a fourteen-year-old hormonal teenager. It’s only natural — just ask Charlie. I had to share a room with him.” He chuckled at Harry’s horrified look.

There was a long silence as Harry tried to control his racing heart. If Bill only knew who the dreams were about, he wouldn’t think they were so natural.

“So who’s the lucky girl?” Bill then asked slyly. Harry choked violently on the drink he had just taken a sip from. “Oh, so it’s not a girl.” He’d said it jokingly, so Harry’s reaction to that statement made the oldest Weasley son’s eyes widen in surprise.

Harry felt his face flaming again and was horrified by his lack of control over his emotions. “I don’t… I mean… I,” he stuttered unable to come up with anything to say, because Bill was dangerously close to figuring it out.

This only made Billy laugh. “It’s quite alright, Harry,” he reassured calmly, although this bit of information had come as a shock to him. He had been sure that Harry and Ginny were going out — or would be at some point if his mother and Ginny had anything to say about it. Wouldn’t they be in for a rude awakening? Bill wished he could be around to see it when it happened, although he felt sorry for Harry.

Harry peeked up at him warily through his fringe. “You mean you don’t think I’m a… freak?” he asked hopefully. The truth was, Harry didn’t know what to think. He had never had those kinds of dreams before, and never in a million years would he have thought that his first experience with them would involve another male— specifically the one sitting a few feet away from him.

“That would be rather hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?” Bill leaned back in his chair carelessly as Harry gaped at him in shock, his eyes widening in surprise at how casually Bill admitted to it. “Have you mentioned this to Ron or Hermione yet? I can assure you that Ron isn’t going to have a problem with it, and I doubt Hermione would either. She seems open minded enough for a Muggleborn,” he encouraged reassuringly, causing Harry’s nerves to ease.

Harry shook his head in answer. “I just… I mean… I didn’t realize that I…” He trailed off unsurely.

Bill looked at him thoughtfully. “That’s why you’re up, sitting down here alone in this dark kitchen? You just realized you were attracted to guys, and you’re confused?” He watched Harry closely.

Harry nodded his head only a small blush gracing his face this time. “I… I just… never had a dream like that before, of any kind,” he answered softly, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably and avoiding Bill’s gaze.

“Ah, and you didn’t expect your first dream to involve another male,” Bill stated understandingly.

Harry nodded his head. He kept his eyes firmly on the table, afraid that if he looked at Bill then somehow the curse breaker would see it in his eyes and know who the dream had been about.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Harry,” Bill stated with a small frown, thinking that Harry’s avoidance was due to shame rather than embarrassment.

“I’m not!” Harry assured quickly. He didn’t want Bill to think that, because he wasn’t. He was surprised to find that he wasn’t horrified by the idea of another guy, considering he had grown up with Muggles. He just had never really thought about it, but then again he had never really thought about girls either. “I’m just… confused,” he finished, looking back down at the table with a frown.

It wasn’t only the dream that was confusing him though. He was supposed to see the Weasley’s as family. Bill was supposed to be like an older brother… like Charlie right. If that was the case, why was Harry feeling this attraction to him? Why did his stomach squirm at the sight of him? Bill was undeniably very, very attractive. Even a straight guy would notice that. But he was Ron’s older brother, and Harry was only a scrawny fourteen-year-old, with awkward limbs, baggy clothes, and round glasses. And he was completely clueless about relationships.

He hadn’t even experienced his first kiss yet!

“Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to experiment and figure it out. That’s what your teen years are all about after all. You’re supposed to be confused,” Bill continued more lightheartedly. “Try a girl… try a guy… Heck try them both at the same time!” he stated enthusiastically. Harry couldn’t help but choked on a surprised laugh at Bill’s last statement.

It felt good to laugh about this, he decided. He shouldn’t take it so seriously. It was just a stupid crush, even if it was his first one and a guy no less. People got them all the time, and they were gone just as quickly, replaced by the next pretty thing to walk by. It was just a stupid infatuation because Bill was just so cool, dangerous, mysterious, likable… and nice to him.

He would be over it tomorrow. But as he looked back up at Bill, who was smiling brilliantly at him, Harry’s breath caught and his world spun out of control.

Caroline: You love with your mind and soul, not your heart.
Adam: Then how come I hurt here when you're not with me?

I loved him. He was worth waiting for... and waiting for... and waiting for. Finally I realized I had waited away my life for an answer he had already given me: Had he loved me back, I would not have had to wait.

Anonymous

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
David Grayson

After that night Harry had taken Bill’s advice and had tested the waters. But still his dreams always brought him back to strong, tan arms, a broad firm chest, shoulder length auburn hair, beautiful deep blue eyes, and a smile that could make his heart flutter and his breath catch. Eventually, Harry stopped even looking at other people, thinking it unfair to them that he couldn’t focus on them like they deserved. Hermione and Ron began to worry at Harry’s lack of interest in dating anyone of either sex, but Harry had waved their concern off as him simply not having time. He never let on that the real reason was because he had nothing to offer anyone else. He had given his heart away a long time ago.

When Bill was around, it was obvious that Harry’s attention was centered on him. Everyone always joked it off as Harry simply looking up to Bill, admiring him like an older brother, and Harry never did anything to dissuade this opinion. He just enjoyed the time he got to spend with the oldest Weasley son, and was happy for the excuse that the others had made up for him. Bill hadn’t seemed to mind either and had welcomed Harry’s admiration happily, unconsciously taking more of Harry every time he welcomed him in.

Harry listened with rapt attention to every word, every story, and every sigh that left Bill’s mouth. He studied the way his mouth moved, his facial expressions, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about Egypt, the way he moved his hands when telling a story, the way he smirked smugly when he knew he was right about something, and that smile… the smile that Bill only seemed to reserve for him. Before he even realized it, Harry had fallen completely and sadly in love with his best friend’s oldest brother. And the worst thing about it was that he had allowed himself to fall in love even knowing subconsciously that it could never be. He had deluded himself anyway, believing foolishly that he had a chance… that Bill would wait for him to grow up more… that Bill would even want him.

The last time he had seen Bill, Harry had been a puny, angry, fifteen-year-old whose godfather had just died. Harry remembered Bill at the small private memorial service the Order had held for Sirius the day Harry had found out he had inherited everything. He’d sworn that he’d never to go back to the Dursley’s again and that he’d focus as much as possible on destroying Voldemort and his followers. Bill had hugged him after it was all over in a completely platonic way that was so brotherly Harry felt his heart breaking. At that moment, reality had set in, and he realized just how pathetic he had been. No one knew that at that moment, Harry’s tears weren’t only for his beloved godfather, but for a love that he knew could never possibly be returned.

A lot had changed since then, and Harry had promised himself that it would never happen again. He would never delude himself like that again. He would forget about his feelings and forget about Bill. And he had done exactly that. Harry had thrown himself into his training, distracting himself with the only thing he had ever really been good at besides flying… fighting. Hermione and Ron finally got the hint and had stopped trying to get him to date. Harry barely had time for the two of them anymore, much less someone else. Not to say that Harry was inexperienced, because he definitely wasn’t lacking in offers, but that was just it. They didn’t mean anything. They were simple hookups, one night stands. Harry just didn’t have anything else to offer them.

Harry had transformed from the scrawny, clueless, kid Bill had known to a strong, determined, and powerful young man. Harry may have only been seventeen, but he could face any grown wizard with confidence and get respect, stand toe to toe with the best Aurors out there and beat them, stare danger in the face and sneer at it. He held a presence of power and confidence about him that would have any crowd of people immediately paying attention. He spoke with a commanding passion that could inspire even the most cowardly man to stand up and fight. Harry had molded and trained his mind with the best, and he had buried every weakness he had.

Yet not only had his mind been molded to perfection, but he had the body to match. Harry wasn’t an easy person to approach. He was quite intimidating even when he wasn’t meaning to be. Harry now stood a respectable six two — thanks to Snape and Kingsley’s daily diet of foods and nutrition potions. He was nearly two hundred pounds of rock-hard muscle sculpted to perfection. Harry had broad strong shoulders, matched by powerful arms that once locked around you gave you the sense of either no escape or the feeling of ultimate protection, depending on the situation. His back was a showcase of beautiful flexing muscles, while his sculpted chest and washboard abs could leave anyone feeling weak in the knees. His legs were long and powerful, leading up to a rear that not even the Romans could reproduce, as the twins would joke.

His face was that of a warrior, or a fallen angel, as the papers were known to describe it, since there hadn’t been a picture of Harry taken since that disastrous battle at the Ministry and Sirius’s death. Nothing about Harry was soft and innocent. His eyes were hard and cold as steel, no longer the brilliant laughing green they had been, but darker, more angry, and no longer guarded behind bothersome glasses. His jaw was strong and sharp, more often than not clenching in frustration, concentration, or determination, the muscle twitching as his eyes remained deadly focused on his task. The dramatically higher arch of he cheek bones added even more sharp angles, but the softness of his lips and messy raven hair balanced out the harshness a bit, somehow making Harry a bit more… human.

Harry wasn’t ashamed of his body either. He often walked around the house full of Order members and professors shirtless and wearing nothing but his training pants, prepared should any one of Kingsley’s ‘surprises’ spring out at him. He had been seen walking from his bedroom to the bathroom or kitchen in nothing but boxers late at night, and even a few times walking from the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his hips after a shower. Although many admitted that Harry’s body was definitely gorgeous and pleasurable to look at, Harry would not have agreed.

Harry’s body wasn’t meant for pleasure. It wasn’t meant for soft caresses and gentle touches. It was meant for war. It was meant for fighting. In Harry’s own eyes he was a weapon — a fine-tuned machine ready to fight at a moment’s notice. He was ready to face his death and defy danger in a split second. It was what Harry had become. What he had turned himself into, because other than that he had nothing left to give anyone anymore. His love, his affection, and his heart had been given away a long time ago. For some reason, he had never taken it back.

Harry stood to his feet with a steely glint in his eye. He didn’t need it back either. It was a weakness now, a hindrance to him, and he didn’t care that Bill had found someone. He was happy for him, actually. It was good that Bill had been able to find someone to be with, and it wasn’t Bill’s fault that Harry hadn’t. Bill had never known of his affections — no one had — and if Harry had anything to say about it, no one ever would. It didn’t matter anyway, because in the end Harry didn’t expect to be here. If for some reason he did survive this war, who would want someone like him anyway? Even he admitted he was pretty screwed up.

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"You can't stop your heart from loving, really — it's like standing out there in the ocean yelling at the waves to stop."

Unknown

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
Anonymous

The most painful thing is to be sitting right next to the person you love most, but never being able to let them know.

Unknown

“Is Harry coming down?” Charlie asked as they all took their seats around the dinner table. He had seen Harry briefly at lunch, but then Harry had disappeared again and had yet to show for dinner.

“I imagine he’ll be down shortly. He was reading when I passed by his room. He tends to lose track of time when he’s really focused,” Hermione answered, taking her seat beside Ron.

“Wow. I never would have thought little Harry would turn into such an intellectual, but I guess Hermione had the bigger influence,” Charlie joked, causing Ron to make an indignant noise. “But then again I can’t imagine he would have time to read all the time with as much working out as he must do. The guy is as hard as steel. I can’t believe he’s only seventeen!” he then commented with a look of disbelief. It was true: Harry was a lot different than most seventeen year olds — in physical appearance as well as mindset.

Harry was way too mature and way too serious to be a normal seventeen-year-old-boy. He had been like that since Sirius’s death though, since he had learned of the prophecy, since he had started training. Harry just didn’t do normal seventeen-year-old things. He didn’t play Quidditch anymore. He didn’t sit around the common room horsing around with the guys. He didn’t go out with them on Hogsmeade weekends. He didn’t go out on dates or talk about girls, or guys for that matter. Harry just didn’t do normal. Although he still hung around with Ron and Hermione, they had come to understand and accept that in Harry’s schedule, they were at the bottom of the list.

It didn’t mean that Harry wasn’t their best friend anymore. It didn’t mean that Harry didn’t care for them. It just meant that Harry had come to the conclusion that there were more important things than relationships and having fun, and it was because Harry cared for them that he did this. Ron and Hermione understood that. It was because Harry had to save them all that he sacrificed everything. It was because Harry loved them that he had become what he now was. They were still there for Harry even though he wasn’t the same eleven-year-old they had first met. They would always be there for Harry. They gave him a life beyond the fighting. They gave him more to live for than just killing Voldemort.

Their attention was suddenly drawn to the door as they heard footsteps approaching. Seconds later Bill Weasley walked into the room with a huge grin on his face. He was followed closely by a tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed man. Mrs. Weasley was immediately on her feet and making her way to her oldest son, who had to bend down to hug the short woman.

“Bill!” Mrs. Weasley exclaimed happily, pulling away to look him over. “I see you still haven’t cut that hair of yours… and that earring!” She huffed and gave him a disapproving frown.

“Aww… come on, Mom. I just got here. Don’t you want to meet who I brought?” Bill asked with an amused smirk as he leaned over to hug Ginny.

“Yes we do,” Tonks said, eyeing the man standing slightly behind Bill appreciatively. “No offence, Mrs. Weasley, but can I have him for dinner instead,” she asked, fanning herself dramatically.

Bill and a few others chuckled. He grabbed the blonde’s hand and pulled him forward. “Everyone, this is Alex, my boyfriend. Alex, this is everyone,” he introduced with a proud smile.

“Hello everyone, it’s nice to meet you,” Alex offered with a confused smile of his own. Mrs. Weasley rolled her eyes with a huff and began the long process of naming everyone, as Bill seemed content to simply leave it as that.

While that was going on, they took the time to study Bill’s boyfriend. He was about the same height as Bill, which was around six three and muscular as well, although not as broad in the shoulders. He had a very… pretty face, and a charming smile that would definitely win him the cover of Witch Weekly. He wore rather dressy clothes for someone training to become an Auror, but then again Mr. Weasley had mentioned that his family was in politics. His skin was pale for someone who lived in Egypt, which gave them the impression that he spent most of his time indoors or that he just didn’t tan. All in all, he was rather eye-catching, and they could definitely see why Bill was attracted to him.

Once the introductions were over, Bill pulled Alex to two empty seats between Remus and Tonks. “Hands off, Tonks,” Bill warned jokingly as they sat, leaving two more empty seats one at the head of the table and the one right beside it.

The second one was soon filled when Albus Dumbledore walked into the room. “Ah, Bill, I see you’ve made it, and Alex as well. It’s very nice to finally meet you young man… Albus Dumbledore.” The old headmaster stated as he offered Alex his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Headmaster Dumbledore. I’ve heard many great things about you,” Alex replied, taking the old man’s hand and giving it a firm shake.

“Now you will be able to see if they are indeed fact,” Albus replied with an amused twinkle. Then his eyes turned to the empty seat at the head of the table, and they dimmed considerably. “And where is Harry?” he questioned, turning to look at the group.

“Yes, where is little Harry?” Billy repeated, looking around as if Harry would suddenly pop out from behind someone.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to come up with a new name Bill. Little Harry’s not so little anymore,” Charlie informed with a smirk.

“Well, I think I’ll be the judge of that,” Bill replied, getting to his feet, intent on finding Harry and dragging him down to dinner. Bill had been looking forward to seeing the little guy again. He was a bit put out that Harry wasn’t here to greet him. He had missed Harry’s big innocent emeralds staring up at him so admiringly. Just as Bill was about to move from his seat, the dinning room door opened and a rather imposing figure stepped into the room.

Bill felt his jaw hit the floor. “Harry?” he asked incredulously, as he took in the young man before him.

The emerald eyes slowly lifted to look at him. Never in a million years would Bill have thought he could be struck dumb by a simple glance. Charlie hadn’t been lying: Harry definitely wasn’t the scrawny teenager that Bill remembered. If it hadn’t been for his messy, just shagged hair or his endless green eyes Bill didn’t think he would have recognized him. Bill felt himself shiver. Those eyes definitely weren’t innocent anymore.

“It’s nice to see you again, Bill,” Harry said and reached out his hand to shake Bill’s hand.

Bill wasn’t having any of that. He shook himself out of his shock and pulled Harry to him and gave him a firm hug, causing Harry to tense and freeze up. Bill didn’t take notice. He pulled back and gave Harry the once over again. “I know it’s been a while, but I can’t believe how much you’ve changed… You’re definitely not a whiny, snot-nosed teenager anymore — although I can’t say much for Ron,” he joked, smiling brilliantly as he finally released Harry and Ron gave an indignant protest.

Harry immediately turned his focus anywhere but at that smile, and his eyes immediately fell on the attractive blond sitting beside Bill.

Bill, seeing where Harry’s gaze had landed, immediately turned to his partner and introduced him. “Harry this is Alex… my boyfriend. Alex this is Harry Potter, my youngest brother’s best friend.” Harry felt something inside him clench at those words, but he violently shoved it down.

Alex stood from his seat as he shook Harry’s hand. “Welcome to my home,” Harry offered politely and gave him a small smile that he told himself wasn’t forced.

“Thank you, Lord Potter. It is a very nice place,” Alex replied with a nod.

It was true. Grimmauld Place had been completely stripped and remodeled. It had taken months to finish, even with the use of magic, but it had been a project that Harry had been determined to get done even with all of his training. It was the least he could do for Sirius and for the Order, who needed a nicer place to meet and stay. Thanks to Dobby, even Mrs. Black’s portrait had been removed, and a large dinning room/meeting room had been added so that Mrs. Weasley could have more space in the newly remodeled kitchen.

“So, how did you two meet?” Ginny asked excitedly breaking into the silence that had fallen as Harry took his seat and fixed his plate.

Bill and Alex shared a look and a small smile before Alex began answering. “Well, I was doing field training as an Auror. We were on site at one of the pyramids, and Bill had been called in because we couldn’t figure out of some curses…”

Harry tuned him out, telling himself that he didn’t care. He didn’t feel anything for Bill anymore. It had been a long time ago, and he had been young and stupid. He hadn’t seen Bill in more than a year, and seeing Bill now certainly did not make his breath catch and his heart flutter. It meant nothing, but as Bill leaned over giving Alex a quick kiss, Harry suddenly didn’t have an appetite anymore.

Curly: I just turned around and rode away.
Mitch: Why?
Curly: I figured it wasn't going to get any better than that.
Mitch: Yeah, but you could have, you know, been with her.
Curly: I've been with lots of women.
Mitch: Yeah, but, you know, she could have been the love of your life.
Curly: She is.

Believe me, every heart has it’s secret sorrow which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself.
Anonymous

“Wow, I can’t believe how much they’ve all changed. Ron’s taller than the twins now, and Hermione, Ron definitely got lucky on that one. Who knew she would grow up to be so attractive?” Charlie commented as he, Remus, and Bill sat around the dinning room table after the Order meeting that had taken place after dinner. “Not to mention Harry… I had heard that he was training, but when he walked through the door, I swear my jaw hit the floor. I didn’t recognize him.”

“Yeah, Harry’s changed the most out of all of them. He’s so focused now. You would never believe that he was just a teenager. He so serious all the time,” Remus replied, taking a sip of his drink.

“So why wasn’t he at the meeting tonight?” Bill questioned, pouring himself a drink. He had only come down a few minutes ago to find Remus and Charlie still sitting here. Alex had already gone to bed, so Bill had decided to stay down and catch up on what had been happening with everyone.

“Harry chooses not to attend them since Ron and Hermione aren’t being allowed in yet, considering they are still in school. He doesn’t want to be unfair,” Remus answered with a shrug. “Although I doubt they would mind Harry joining, we’ve invited him plenty of times, but Harry sees no need. Albus would never send him on a mission, and Harry knows that. Harry has his mission, and it’s better not to put him in any unnecessary danger. Harry knows we will answer any questions he has. If he asks, we will tell him the truth and what’s going on. There are no secrets kept from him anymore.”

“And what is Harry’s mission?” Bill asked, although he already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it confirmed.

“To complete the prophecy,” Remus stated with a frown. “We gave Harry a choice. He could have run, and no one would have blamed him… he was only a fifteen-year-old boy, after all. We would have hidden him away and helped him run without a second’s thought, but he chose to stay. He chose to fight, and he hasn’t once wavered from that choice. Every day he trains. Every day he pushes himself to nearly breaking point. He’s changed so much over these near two years… I often wish that he’d run,” the werewolf finished, staring down into his teacup sadly.

Bill and Charlie frowned in thought as they watched the older man. Remus looked as if he had aged ten years since the last time they had seen him. His worry lines were more pronounced than ever, and there was a sadness in his eyes that broke their hearts, and they knew that it had to do with Harry. Everything they had heard about Harry so far had only caused their own frowns to deepen. From what they understood, Harry had pulled away from everyone — maybe not so much physically, but emotionally he wasn’t there anymore. He had become cold and angry… almost bitter. He berated himself constantly if he messed up, not giving up until he completed a task perfectly, and he punished himself each time he failed.

Harry had turned himself into a machine, a weapon. He was no longer the shy little fourth year they had first met at the Burrow all those years ago. He was a confidant, powerful, strong, and admittedly very attractive young man who could take on the world and most likely defeat it. There was nothing soft and innocent about Harry anymore. They could see it in his frown. They could see it in his eyes. He was cold and jaded beyond their understanding, but most of all Harry was angry.

Their deep thoughts were interrupted as the front door opened and two figures stumbled into Grimmauld Place. Remus, Charlie, and Bill were immediately on their feet looking through the dinning room door, which had a charm on it set there by Mrs. Weasley that allowed you to see out, but not in without actually opening the door. She had placed it there to make sure that none of the teenagers or Order members could eavesdrop when they had a meeting. There was also another charm instead of the standard silencing charm that allowed sound in but no sound out in case of an emergency.

Their hands immediately loosened on their wands as they noticed one of the figures was Harry, but then they tightened again since Harry looked as if he had been in some sort of fight. His clothes and hair were completely messed up, as was the other figure’s; but seconds later, the three men’s eyes widened in shock as they realized exactly why that was. Harry grabbed the front of the man’s already crumpled shirt and forcefully pulled him against his body in a dominating kiss that they could see caused the man’s knees to go weak. The attractive blonde immediately reciprocated, although he didn’t try to take control from Harry. Instead he moaned deeply, digging his fingers into Harry’s waist and pulling him closer.

“Merlin, I want you so bad,” the man groaned breathlessly as Harry’s mouth attacked his neck and one of his hands began lifting the guy’s shirt from his pants.

Harry stopped his attack and pulled back, looking down at the man with emotionless eyes. “This means nothing,” he stated firmly, causing those in the kitchen to look at each other with wide eyes at Harry’s harsh words to the man he had been kissing passionately only seconds before.

The blond nodded, surprising them even more, as his hand snaked to the back of Harry’s neck and he leaned in close lips brushing Harry’s ear. “But for tonight, I’ll make you forget you ever loved him,” he stated, pulling Harry’s hair harshly and crushing their lips together in a hard brutal kiss.

Harry responded with a vicious growl, picking the man up completely off the floor as he slammed him against the wall. The man didn’t seem to mind; in fact, he seemed to be enjoying the brutality of it. He threw his head back and wrapped his legs around Harry’s hips, gasping harshly as Harry’s lips ripped from his mouth to trail hot kisses down his neck and then crying out sharply as Harry bit his shoulder. The man practically melted under Harry, giving all control away without a single thought.

Harry completely dominated him with a passion and desperation that went beyond the act that they were performing. In fact, it almost seemed angry. Harry’s hands ripped at his clothes, but the blond didn’t seem to care one bit. With each harsh, powerful thrust of Harry’s hips, he was reduced to nothing more than an incoherent, gasping puddle. The man’s head fell back against the wall, turning in their direction — yet he couldn’t see them. His half-lidded eyes burned with an intense desire and pleasure so deep that it was arousing just to look at him, at what Harry was reducing him to. The man continued making a whole string of different noises, from crying out, to mumbling incoherently as Harry ravaged him relentlessly.

“Please… please… please,” the blonde whimpered breathlessly, leaning forward so that his kiss swollen lips rested on Harry’s ear as his hands and nails now dug into Harry’s shirtless back, making deep scratching marks as Harry pressed him into the wall.

Harry didn’t make a noise as he finally pushed them both off of the wall and carried the man, who didn’t seem as if he would have been able to stand on his own anyway, into the study and closed the door with a snap. Those in the kitchen shook themselves out of their shock as the study door closed, relieved that Harry had had enough mind not to do in the middle of the entrance hall what they were sure he was now doing.

“Wow… umm yeah… I’m not gay or anything, but that was rather… yeah,” Charlie rambled into the silence, not really knowing what to say after witnessing such an intense scene.

Remus simply turned and walked back over to the table where he sat down heavily in his seat with a weary sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, looking more worn than they had ever seen him before.

“Remus?” Bill questioned when he finally managed to get his voice to work and rip his eyes away from the doorway.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it before… all the signs were there,” Remus whispered, as if berating himself. “It shouldn’t be so surprising, really, though I haven’t exactly been the best godparent. Look at what I let Harry do to himself. I’ve tried to talk to him. He just doesn’t listen… But this, I should have seen this. I should have noticed he was hurting this whole time.”

“Remus, what are you talking about?” Bill questioned as Charlie came out of his shock as well and turned towards the werewolf.

“What that guy said… about making Harry ‘forget he ever loved him. I should have known. How bad of a guardian am I if I can’t even tell when my godson is hurting?” Remus replied, placing his head in his hands.

“Remus, you’re not a bad godfather. You care about Harry. You love him — anyone with two eyes can see that — and Harry knows that as well,” Charlie said reassuringly as he walked over and placed a comforting hand on the werewolf’s shoulder. “I don’t think anyone’s noticed anything. If Harry has been in love with someone, then he hasn’t let on about it. I don’t think Ron and Hermione even know about this. They’ve mentioned before not understanding why Harry doesn’t try to find a steady relationship, and I’ve seen the way Harry stares at them together. He longs for companionship like that, but this would explain why he doesn’t go after it. Perhaps it is a recent development.”

Remus shook his head. “No, I don’t think it is. It had to have been before all of this started, before Sirius’s death. Harry hasn’t been in a relationship with anyone since then.” He stated thinking back to everyone he had ever seen Harry with. There had been a few women, and quite a few men, but they had all been like the one who was with Harry now. They hadn’t meant anything.

“The last two serious relationships I remember Harry in were that Diggory boy in fourth year, and then the Chang girl in fifth year. But I hadn’t thought either of them were that serious, and this guy said it was a ‘him’… it was a man.”

“Perhaps Diggory and Chang aren’t it… perhaps it is an unrequited love. The guy said it as if Harry still loved this man. Therefore, he never got over him. But I doubt it was the Diggory boy, either. If I remember correctly, they broke it off mutually before the final task took place,” Bill added with a thoughtful frown. “Even if they hadn’t, Diggory died. I’m sure Harry would have gotten over it by now. No, this person must still be alive, still be around for Harry not to have moved on.”

“Who do you think it is?” Charlie questioned, looking between his brother and Remus.

“It could be any number of people, especially in the Order. They’re around Harry all the time,” Remus answered. “But I’ve never seen Harry act any differently around any of them. If he is in love with someone here, then they definitely don’t know about it. Harry hides it well.”

“Then we’ll just have to watch him closer. Alex and I were going to train with him tomorrow. Albus wants to see what Alex can do. Do you know who else is going to be there?” Bill asked.

“Kingsley and Severus will be training Harry, and I imagine they’ll be testing Alex as well. Albus will be there of course, along with whoever else wishes to go. The entire Order has been invited to see what Alex can do,” Remus answered with a thoughtful frown.

“Then that’s perfect. We will just have to watch Harry and see if there is anyone in particular he pays attention to most … or avoids the most for that matter,” Charlie stated, and the others agreed.

“What do we do once we find out who it is?” Bill asked, causing both Remus and Charlie to pause.

“We figure out why Harry never told him,” Remus answered softly. Once again they fell silent as they wondered who this person could possibly be that had stolen Harry’s heart and crushed it without even realizing.

Truth, Justice, honor… none of that’s worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren’t honest, or just, or honorable. They’re petty, and they’re angry, and they’re afraid; and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted… And what’s truth to that?

M. Clark

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou

Pain hardens, and great pain hardens greatly, whatever the comforters say, and suffering does not ennoble, though it may occasionally lend a certain rigid dignity of manner to the suffering frame.
Antonia S. Byatt

They had watched Harry as they said they would all morning and afternoon, but Harry hadn’t given any indication that he had even had someone over last night. The man had already been gone by the time they had come down, memory modified to think he had been at a hotel with some nameless guy. They doubted that Harry had even given the guy his real name in the first place.

Plus, today was a training day; therefore, there really wasn’t much to watch except for Harry training. They watched him in amazement as he dueled both Kingsley and Severus in the middle of the room until finally he managed to take Kingsley out followed by Severus a few moments later. Kingsley had already tested Alex; and while he hadn’t beaten the seasoned Auror, they all had to admit that the young man definitely had talent. Charlie had even had a go, and had lost only moments into the fight.

Then Alex offered to duel Harry. While Kingsley and a few others laughed, thinking he had to be joking, Harry stood and removed his outer robes.

“Whoa Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Kingsley protested, resting a hand on Harry’s forearm as he went to remove his shirt, which was already soaked in sweat.

“Oh, come on, it’s all in good fun. After all, how many can say they’ve had the chance to duel the great Harry Potter… and just imagine if I win!” Alex exclaimed with a smirk, although there was a challenge in his eyes that was answered by Harry’s own.

“I doubt that,” Snape snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and looking on the scene doubtfully. But then he waved his hand carelessly. “Go ahead, Kingsley, let him… have a go.”

“But Potter’s been dueling all morning. He needs to take a break,” Kingsley once again protested, although he already knew he had lost as Harry pealed off his shirt and grabbed his wand from where it had been resting beside him.

Catcalls and whistles flew from a few seated around the room. “I could never get tired of that,” Tonks stated fanning herself dramatically. Harry smirked and sent her a playful wink, and she feigned swooning.

“You should have been there the time Professor Snape walked in on him naked after a shower.” George laughed as Tonks and a few others looked on in shock, glancing at the potions master who had suddenly gone rigid.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him blush before,” Fred replied, earning more laughs.

“I didn’t even know he could blush,” Ginny added.

“Poor guy couldn’t even form a sentence, and he’s usually so eloquent,” George stated again with a mock sigh, as they tried to cover their laughter as best they could.

Harry snorted in amusement, remembering that incident. Severus turned his death glare on the three redheads who immediately paled and stopped talking.

Alex and Harry got into a dueling position, eyes never wavering from the other. The others in the room could practically feel the intensity in their gazes and wondered briefly what that was all about. At Kingsley’s okay they began with Harry throwing off a simple curse to begin with. It was normal practice in a friendly duel to start off with simple spells at first to get the feel of your partner, and they both had been doing it all morning. Alex, however, obviously thought that wasn’t needed with Harry Potter. In the next second, Harry had to quickly throw up a powerful shield to block the curse thrown at him.

There was a pause as everyone stared in shock, looking between the two men wondering what had just happened. Harry froze for a moment, staring at Alex in surprise, but Alex took that opportunity to throw another curse at Harry — this one even more dangerous than the last. Harry quickly threw up another shield, and Alex took the opportunity to throw curse after curse at him without pause, forcing Harry to hold his shield in place, draining him faster. Soon they couldn’t see Harry anymore from all of the curses crashing around him.

When Alex finally paused, doubled over and breathing heavily, they looked over to see Harry still standing with a frown and a hard glint in his eye that told them this wasn’t a game anymore. Alex barely had time to look up before Harry was on him. They could feel the electricity of the curse zoom by as Alex barely dove out of the way of it, but Harry simply sent another. This time, it hit it’s target, picking Alex up off the floor and slamming him against the wall. Then Harry simply jerked his hand, ripping Alex’s wand away and catching it. Then with another jerk of his hand, Alex was yanked forward, landing face first on the floor.

Harry continued stepping closer. Bill and the others stood up unsure what to do as, with another sharp movement of his hand, Harry had picked Alex up off the floor until the blonde’s feet were dangling an inch above the ground.

“Harry, that’s enough!” Kingsley suddenly shouted.

For a moment, it didn’t seem as if Harry was going to listen to him, but the next second he lowered his hand, dropped Alex in a heap on the floor, and threw his wand at the panting man’s feet with a sneer.

“This duel is over,” Kingsley continued, eyeing Harry warily as if waiting for him to pounce again. But Harry just continued to stand there, staring challengingly at Alex as the blond picked himself up off the floor, facing Harry defiantly and mumbling something that they couldn’t exactly catch.

No one registered exactly what had happened until Harry had tackled Alex to the floor, wands completely forgotten. Fists, elbows, and knees were all trying to find purchase as they rolled across the ground, both trying to get the upper hand. There were cries of alarm from those around the room as they either jumped out of the two men’s way or stepped forward to try and break them apart. Bill and Charlie finally managed to grab Alex as Remus and Kingsley got hold of Harry. The two were still trying to get at each other though, fighting against their captors until the Headmaster himself had to step between them and put up a shield.

“That is enough!” Albus stated firmly, standing between the two men glaring at each other. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it ends now!" Bill, Charlie, Kingsley, and Remus cautiously loosened their grips when it seemed that to two weren’t going to fly at each other again. “Harry, take a break. You’re tired and overheated, go cool down,” the headmaster ordered looking at Harry, who was sweating and bleeding from his lip and a cut on his cheek, but furious beyond belief.

“I’m fine,” Harry began, finally tearing his glare away from Alex to look at Albus, who was frowning in disapproval, eyes shinning in disappointment.

“I said go sit down, Harry,” Dumbledore cut in firmly, leaving no room for argument. With an angry sneer, Harry turned away.

“Now Potter, what was that all about? You let emotions get in the way. You were fighting like a common Muggle,” Kingsley stated, stepping up to Harry as he snatched a towel off one of the racks and began wiping his bloody lip and sweaty face.

“Nothing,” Harry stated through gritted teeth, turning to walk away.

“Potter!” Kingsley called commandingly. “Don’t you walk away from your superiors! Come back this instant and explain your behavior,” the Auror shouted as he would to any of his Aurors in training who were acting this way.

Harry suddenly spun around and shot off a dark curse that took them all completely by surprise. Kingsley immediately sent up a shield, but it wasn’t strong enough for the power of the curse. It sliced straight through, hitting the Auror in the chest and sending him back against the wall where it pinned him, crushing his chest and restricting breathing, as he struggled against it.

Harry’s eyes flashed dangerously. “I don’t take orders from you! You are not my superior, and I am not one of your goddamned Aurors,” he snarled, releasing the man who fell to the floor trying to catch his breath.

“Potter, we have agreed to training your otherwise worthless hide; therefore, you will show us the proper respect. And where did you learn dark curses?” Severus suddenly snapped stepping forward.

Harry’s sneer immediately turned on the potions master. “Don’t you dare Snape!” He hissed furiously. “The only reason you agreed to this is because I’m the only chance you’ve got at being free from him. It sure as hell wasn’t because you wanted to help me! It sure as hell wasn’t because you wanted to give me a better chance at surviving this… No, your only hope is that I survive long enough to take the bastard with me!”

To their surprise, Snape’s disposition softened somewhat as his eyes scanned over the obviously furious and defensive teen. “Potter… Harry, that’s not true and you know it,” he stated, causing them to stare at the potions master as if they had never seen him before. They knew Snape and Harry had buried their hate for each other a long time ago and had even become friends, but it was still odd to see it. “Your life is important to all of us … it means something to all of us.”

Harry snorted derisively. “My life means killing him. That’s all I’ll ever be worth,” he stated. Before any of them could get over their shock and begin to protest, he was gone. The door closed behind him with an angry bang.

“Alex, what happened?” Bill asked through the shocked silence as everyone turn to look at the blonde man who was still glaring at the spot where Harry had been standing while wiping the blood from his nose.

Alex sneered at the spot, crossing his arms over his chest angrily. “I told him to stay the hell away from you. That you would never love him,” he snarled, turning to look at Bill.

“What?” Bill questioned, obviously not believing what he had just heard. “Why would you say something like that to him?”

Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed!” Alex replied with a disbelieving laugh, eyes shinning in mirth as if it was funny how thick Bill could be, although there was nothing funny about it. “The way he acts around you. The way he stares at you. It’s been apparent since the moment we got here… Merlin, Bill, you haven’t noticed have you?” His eyes widened in genuine amazement at Bill’s look of shock and confusion.

“Noticed what?” Bill questioned with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“That the guy’s completely in love with you,” Alex answered, looking at Bill as if he had lost his head.

Charlie and Remus both choked on their own breath as they turned to look at each other, mirrored shock showing on both of their faces.

“Bill,” they breathed together.

Bill seemed just as shocked as the rest of them. In fact, everyone seemed dazed as they turned and stared at the doorway Harry had just disappeared through and then at Bill.

Bill stared at Alex in disbelief for a moment before shaking his head as if to snap out of his shock and quickly turning to leave.

“Bill where are you going?” Alex asked, quickly grabbing hold of Bill’s arm and stopping him.

“I’m going to go talk to Harry,” Bill answered in a tone that indicated that Alex was the thickest person in the world.

“Why?” the blond asked, frowning in confusion.

“Why?” Bill asked, turning back to Alex incredulously. “Bloody hell, Alex. Why would you say that to him?” he asked instead, not understanding Alex one bit at the moment. Bill had never seen him like this before. Alex had never done anything so blatantly mean and sadistic, and right now Bill was having a hard time not throttling the blond himself.

“Why the hell not! You don’t expect me to just stand around and watch while he pines after you like a lovesick puppy,” Alex stated as if Bill were crazy for thinking anything else. “I simply told him the truth … put it to an end before he could try anything.”

“Try anything! Alex, I didn’t even know! No one knew! Harry hasn’t said anything to anyone!” Bill exclaimed heatedly. “I can’t believe you would do something like that!”

“What does it matter, Bill? I simply told him the truth. You don’t love him!” Alex returned, his voice rising as well.

“Well, not like you’re implying. But hell, Alex, I’ve known Harry for years,” Bill answered back. “I care for him. You should know that!”

Alex sneered disdainfully. “Yeah, you’ve told me all about him! Innocent little Harry… Well open your bloody eyes, Bill. He’s not so innocent anymore! He’s a conniving little bi…”

“Alex, that’s enough,” Bill cut in before Alex could finish that statement and possibly cause more trouble than Bill could get him out of — not that he felt like he would have tried at the moment. Alex deserved whatever Remus and the others could dish out. Bill had never thought that Alex could do something so… cruel.

“I’m leaving,” Alex suddenly stated, causing Bill to take a step back in shock. Alex pushed pass him and walked out into the entrance hall. “I’ve already packed all of my things. I’m going back to Egypt, and I want you to come with me.”

“Alex, you can’t expect me to just leave my family.” Bill protested in disbelief. He could hear his mother protesting, as well; and he was extremely thankful his father was holding her back.

“They were just fine before you got here. They will be fine after you leave, and you’re only a floo call away,” Alex stated, looking at Bill impassively. “I don’t see why we have to stay here. I don’t see why you have to stay around him any longer.”

“Alex, the war,” Bill protested again. But Alex simply shrugged his shoulders.

“It can be fought without you. You heard what Potter said. He’s the only one who can win this. I don’t see why you’re needed,” the blond responded, shocking the crowd.

“We can’t let Harry fight this alone,” Bill began, taking a calming breath and trying his best to remain in control and talk reason to Alex.

“From what I see, he’s not alone. He has plenty of people willing to die with him. You are not needed here,” Alex countered again, crossing his arms over his chest carelessly.

“You can’t ask me to do this, Alex. You can’t ask me to choose between you and my family. There is no choice, and you know that.” Bill replied looking at Alex intensely.

“Not your family… him!” Alex stated, looking disdainfully up the stairs. “I don’t want you around him. I don’t want you to speak to him. I don’t want you to see him ever again. So choose Bill… me or him.”

“Alex,” Bill breathed, his mind still not understanding exactly how this was happening, how everything had gone downhill so quickly.

“Make your choice, Bill,” Alex stated unwaveringly. “Either you come with me and never see him again, or you stay here and never see me again.”

Bill stared at his boyfriend for a long moment as if seeing him for the first time. Slowly, he took a step back towards where the Order and his family stood behind him.

Alex sneered, taking the gesture for what it was, before abruptly turning and grabbing the handle on the door.

“Once you leave, you will not be able to return without an Order member’s aid, and you will no longer remember the location of this place or be able to speak of it or anyone staying here to anyone,” Albus said from the back of the room.

Alex yanked the door open angrily and walked out without a backwards glance.

The silence was broken by a loud crashing and an anguished scream that ripped through the house, conveying such a deep loss and anger that is tore at their very hearts — and it wasn’t from Bill.