I.S.141Nahyian Elias

8111/14/08

ELA Narrative Account

They called me the outcast, the loner. When all the other boys were laughing,

standing in a circle, I would stand all by myself in the shadows. I had no friends. No one

to talk to, no one to laugh with. How I envied those boys in the circle.

I saw him almost everyday. Those stunning blue-green eyes, the beautiful smile.

People liked him. They laughed at his jokes and wanted to be his friend. He was a non-

conformist, unconventional, a daredevil, an extrovert. Other boys wanted his

characteristics- the gorgeous smile, his taunting eyes, his whimsical personality.

He had everything I didn’t have.

Maybe I was a bit jealous of him. But I liked what I had seen about him. I wanted

to know his name.

One day we were in the Playing Fields. We weren’t doing anything, just talking,

laying in the early spring grass, enjoying the sun’s warm rays.

I was looking at the boy, staring at him. He saw me gazing at him-and smiled at

me. I might’ve had a heart attack right there and then. God, his beautiful smile-right at

me. Me.

I looked down at my sneakers, felt myself blush. And a few minutes later, he was

standing right next to me.

I felt my soul tearing away from me. My heart beats hard in my chest.

“Hi,” he says, “My names Phineas.”

I wonder if I can even manage to speak.

“I’m Gene.”

“All my friends call me Finny… so I suppose you can call me Finny too.”

I want to pass out in his arms.

“So…” he says. “You’re always staring at me. Any particular reason?” He smiles

again.

“Well,” I begin. “No. Not- not really.” What I really want to say is, “You have

such beautiful eyes and a smile so breathtaking. How come you don’t stare at me with

those striking eyes and smile at me with your killer smile?”

But I can’t say those words.

I’m having such an awkward moment. I feel my cheeks getting red. Why can’t

I talk? The answer hits me hard. Obviously. This boy is ripping my heart out of my chest.

“Don’t lots of people stare at you?” I blurt out.

“Well… I suppose,” he says. His turn to blush now.

“Why wouldn’t they? I mean…”

He looks at me with a passionate, penetrating stare.

“No one stares at me the way you do.”

Ah.

I blush terribly. I want to cry.

“So,” he says. “I hope we’ll get to know each other better.” He smiles. “I don’t

want to say good-bye…”

“Neither do I.” I manage a slight smile.

“But, unfortunately, ‘bye.”

“Sure. See you.”

He walks away, leaving me alone in the emptiness of my thoughts.

The following week, I am alone in my room. We were assigned new roommates.

I was to room with he himself- the beautiful boy, Phineas.

I suppose life has its coincidences. Or maybe fate really does exist.

I sigh. I feel tears come to my eyes. But why? I can’t stop. The tears run down my

cheeks like streams of sadness.

“Grow up,” my brother would say. “You’re being enlisted in the army next year.

Do you think this is what they expect of you? Grow up.”

But even as my brother’s words reverberate in the room, I cannot stop. I keep

sobbing uncontrollably.

I will get nowhere in my life. I am stupid, thoughtless, uncaring, and I’m a loner

to everyone.

So unlike Finny.

I stand in front of the mirror of my wardrobe. A boy who is skinny and pale with

black hair and sad, sad brown eyes stares back me,

God, even I can’t stand to look at myself. I must really hate myself.

The waterworks start again. They run down my cheeks, full of self-hatred and

sadness.

Quickly, I wipe away the tears. Then, I tell myself to grow up.

“So, Gene, fate brings us together again,” Finny says the next day with a slight

smile. So Finny is a believer in fate. He seemed like the optimistic type,

He sighs, sits down on his bed. “You know, I think we have a lot more in common

than we both think.”

I ponder that for a moment. Me and Finny? Alike?

“Well, like what?” I ask.

He thinks for a moment, too. “We just do.”

That helps. I sigh, look out the window of room. outside, there is a tree with pink

flowers. Finny looks me over curiously. Why does he look at me? I am nothing special,

just a boring copy of everyone else’s shadow. Finny, on the other hand, is unique, good-

looking…

Now I look at him. Very awkward moment, so I am the first to look away. Maybe

he is too much for my eyes to look at.

I look out the window again, gaze longingly into the irresistible blue sky. It

reminds me of the blue in Finny’s blue- green eyes- sweet, endless, forever… Stop, I tell

myself. Don’t look into the sky.

“What’re you looking at ?” he asks.

Your eyes, I want to say.

“The sky,” I reply.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. Then he gives me a taunting smile.

You have every right to think I’m lying, Finny, because I am.

“You stare at everything, don’t you?” he asks. “you always seem kind of distant…

kind of absorbed in your own thoughts all the time.”

“Do I?” I asked.

He nods with a smile.

“Is that… a bad thing?”

He laughs. “No, of course not. You must think a lot, then. What do you think

about?”

“Random things, I guess. I read once somewhere that thinking too much isn’t

exactly right for you.”

“Depends on what you think about,” he says. “So what do you think about?”

“I told you, “ I say softly. “Whatever comes to my mind.”

“I don’t believe you,” he says.

You can accuse me of lying once more, Finny, because I am lying. I think of only

one thing- you. For the past few weeks, all I have thought about is you- your smile, your

eyes that look like the oceans’ deep blue-green waves that roll endlessly…

In attempt to change the subject, I ask, “Are you enlisting in the army next year?”

“Well,” he says. “We all have to.”

“Let me try again,” I say with a smile, “Do you want to?”

“Yes,” he says. He stands up, comes next to me by the window. “Why?”

“You just don’t seem like the war type. You’re so happy, and you just have this

whimsical personality about you,” I say. “You don’t seem like you’d want to fight and

kill people in a war.”

“And how can you tell all that about me?” he asks, his blue-green eyes smiling

along with his gorgeous smile. “We’ve just met.”

“I can tell.”

He looks at me with that passionate, longing gaze.

Stop staring at me, Finny. It’s killing me. And… I love you, Finny.

He looks out the window. His eyes look troubled now, almost as if he wanted to

say something… but can’t.

I want to pass out for real now.

“Finny?” I ask, the word trembling.

“Yes?”

He turns to looks at me. he has the same trance-like gaze.

Everything I look for is in this boy.

And as if on cue, our lips lock. He tastes like heaven. His arm runs up my shirt and

around my shoulder. This is what I wanted- his touch. The ache in my heart grows

stronger, but it feels wonderful now. All the sweetness I want from life throbs within this

kiss. God…

There is a knock at the door. We break loose. Our golden moment is broken, but

still I am satisfied.

I sigh, and he blushes three shades of red.

But he smiles. “Well, we may have only just met,” he says. “But Gene… I love

you already.”

“I love you too, Finny,” I say. I smile with true happiness.

I walk to open the door.

I knew then, I had a true friend. And maybe, he could be even more than just

a friend.