WE HIT 200 REVIEWS

WE HIT 200 REVIEWS!! WE MADE IT!! THIS IS, LIKE CHAPTER 15!! IT HAS 239 WORDS IN IT!! IT’S THE LONGEST THING I’VE WRITTEN ON THIS SITE!! WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPITALS??

DISCLAIMER: Ich heisse Nicola, der epitome of randomness. Ich heisse nicht Eoin Colfer, der author oft Artemis Fowl.

Hooray for broken german!!

The Sue Slayers

Chapter 15

Duck-and-covers

Blue Fangirls! Pink Fangirls! Red, orange and green Fangirls! They swarmed over the camp.

I shot wildly into the Patrol in front of me, felling a tubby Fangirl. Amelia yanked at my wrist and we ran into the trees, helping Matt set up his rifle.

Four Slayers, identified by their stripes (1), and six Fangirologists dove in from the fray.

“Captain!” squealed an American apprentice Fangirologist.

Ooooh, they were referring to Amelia by rank. (2) This was serious.

“Circle the perimeter. Shoot any non-OCs on sight.”

“And the trampled people?” asked Clare, who’d run in with the Slayers.

“Get them out. We’ll meet back here in ten minutes if this doesn’t die down.”

Amelia glanced out at the attack. Bitch slapping, screaming, biting and shooting. (3)

The Slayers seemed to be gaining the upper hand as I shinned up a tree, holding a case of darts in my mouth. Still, I was fairly sure that another Squee was lying in wait, if the battle went shaped like a pear.

I aimed at a blonde Fangirl who was on the fringes of the fight, clipping her in the shoulder. She clutched at the dart and keeled over. I shot at the girl behind her, who was in the process of kicking the shit out of a Canonist my age. She flopped over too, and the Canonist grabbed another Fangirl by the hair. I shot at her, missed and shot again. It hit her in the waist.

The Canonist waved over at me, and grabbing a boy, ran for the trees.

I grinned. I’d never been in a firefight before, and it was kind of…fun. (4)

Somewhere in the trees, an iPod tech had obviously escaped with their equipment, because as I took down another Fangirl, the Killers began to boom from my right.

At the first catchy twangs of guitar, the Fangirls lost their heart rates of 176 (5), their pulses plummeting down to about one hundred. They lost their hyper energy, and the battle (aka eighty-odd different bitch fights and twenty duck-and-covers)

‘You sit there in your heartache

Waiting on some beautiful boy to

To save you from your old ways

You play forgiveness

Watch him now, here he come.’

Yeah, the Killers kill in battle. I felled a blonde Fangirl as she fled from the battle.

‘He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentleman

Like you imagined when you were young.’

A familiar Fangirl, with strange silver streaks in her hair leapt onto the table where, until recently the Commanders had been hanging out, and began to scream in the Fangirl dialect.

“OMG, lyk, G2G!! TOTLY!! G2G!!”

The table collapsed under her weight.

As one, the Fangirls-every single one of them that wasn’t unconscious turned and ran, leaving about forty others, sleeping.

“Everyone in!” I heard Amelia shout. I jumped down from my perch and ran into the clearing.

Most of the Slayers seemed to be alright. The majority had scratches, a few had black eyes and I saw at least six nosebleeds.

Amelia went straight for the Commanders, immediately beginning to yell at them. I headed in the opposite direction, looking for any remaining Fangirls.

“Hannah Banana! You’re ok!!” I was knocked over by a blonde missile.

“Ooof.” I rubbed my head. “Hi Molly!!”

Molly ruffled her hair up and grinned. “I saw you shooting-awesome!”

“Where were you?” I asked. “More important, why are you here?”

Molly was a young Canonist. We’d only need about three in a situation this big, and I’d already seen twelve. (6)

“Grace wanted me here. She says we need the big guns.”

She sounded a little weird, considering Molly weighs, like, 30 kilos. She’s like a Human-Avian hybrid…except she can’t fly. (7)

I nodded, picking up a crushed Super Soaker. What a waste.

We were going to have a water fight.

“Right!” Yelled someone. “Pile the Fangirls here!”

“You’re making choice to live like this-

,
And all of the noise,


I Am Silence.


We already know how it ends tonight,


You run in the dark through a firefight.”

I had a massive headache, and the Yellowcard wasn’t helping. I mean sure, I love their unique brand of punk rock with violins, but seriously. This was after seven hours of My Chemical Romance (Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge), Cute Is What We Aim For (The Same Old Blood Rush), Good Charlotte (Self-Titled), Sum 41 (Does This Look Infected?), Fall Out Boy (Evening Out With Your Girlfriend) and bloody New Found Glory (Catalyst).

And now were halfway through Paper Walls. I had been praying they would at least chuck on Only One, at least it was quiet, but that wasn’t even on the Slayer Playlist.

I readjusted the towel over my eyes and stuck my fingers in my ears again.

The tent was so not soundproof.

Someone began to unzip the tent flap.

“Hannah, we need-what’s with the towel?” Grace asked.

“I’m getting a migraine.” I whined.

“Suck it up, Montana.” She reached over and yanked the towel off my eyes.

“What do you want?” I groaned.

“We have out-of-date blueprints, and I want you to look at them.”

I wriggled out of my sleeping bag, grabbed my runners (8) and crawled out into a tree trunk.

“Ridiculous place to put a tent,” I muttered, following Grace.

The other Commanders, and the Fangirology Captains were standing around the area where until recently, the Tactics table had been. As I walked up, Marisa and another Canonist hurried over.

“Hannah, Kasey, Kasey, Hannah.” Said Amelia, gesturing to the other Canonist.

I nodded at Kasey and she smiled.
“Pleased to meet you.” She said in an English accent.

“Right.” Said Fred-I mean Hayley. “Hannah, we want to send in the Snipers and a couple of Fangirologists to flush out the Fangirls in Fowl Manor.”

“Excellent decision,” I commented. “I trust dear Millie here had something to do with that.”

Hayley smiled in Amelia’s direction. “Yuh-huh. Perfectly planned, except that the blueprints we have of Fowl Manor are wrong. There are hallways that don’t exist, rooms that do but aren’t listed-you were attacked in one of them.”

“I’m not too good with blueprints,” I said. (9) “If someone shows me how to draw them, I could probably try.”

“Not enough time-none of us can draw them anyway.” Marcus told me. “We need you to take the Snipers to the attic and then you and the other Fangirologists will find and eliminate any Fangirls.”

I blinked. Long sentence much?

“So you want me to take four people with massive guns, and seven-“

“Ten, including you.”

“Ten Fangirologists into a securely guarded location, unseen by the occupants, and chase out the invisible, yet incredibly noisy hormonal teenager girls?”

“That’s about it.”

“Right. Easy.”

NOT!

(1) Our uniforms have colour coded stripes on the right shoulder. Light blue for Slayers, yellow for Fangirologists, orange for Canonist and bright green for researcher.

(2) We never call each other by rank, I mean it sounds stupid, Captain Amelia, Commander Grace, Private Hannah. Ridiculous.

(3) Honestly, it was like the bloody Big Brother house.

(4) Barring the majority of my friends being badly injured by hyped up groupies, of course.

(5) That’s the average. And I’ve seen em with rates of 210.

(6) Twelve-ish. Four of them had been in training, and two had been Slayer Canonists. That is, Slayers who were also Canonists.

(7) OR CAN SHE?

(8) American translation: Sneakers.

(9) Actually, I’m terrible with them. Why are they blue, anyway?

That song was When You Were Young by The Killers. All the mentioned artists and albums, My Chemical Romance, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, Cute Is What We Aim For, The Same Old Blood Rush, Good Charlotte, Self-Titled, Sum 41, Does This Look Infected?, Fall Out Boy, Evening Out With Your Girlfriend and New Found Glory with Catalyst.

Trust me on this, I had to end the chapter there. Artemis’ll be making another more vocal appearance next chapter, and there will be soooo much more music, it will be like a Spit Roast songfic.

When you read my next rant, you’ll understand. And as part of this run-on sentence, the first reviewer of this chapter will get a sneak peek of the next one!!

Back to school tomorrow, and I have 2 assignments so updates will be hampered by those, my mild case of writers block and my roller-skating injuries. My butt will never be the same…

Ahem.

REVIEW!!

Lotsa love,

Nicola.

Next chapter up: First draft is MISSING IN ACTION!

Oh, and word count: 1494. I need more WORDS!!