Severus felt something firm and warm beneath him and a scent he recognized filled his nostrils.

Hermione…

Everything came rushing back to him. He jerked upright, horrified at the sight of a small dark stain of drool on Hermione’s shirt.

“Good morning.” She smiled, but Severus could see she was unsure of the situation.

He swallowed. “Morning.”

She smiled again, this one reaching her eyes. They seemed to light up at the very sight of him.

He felt his tension drain, but not completely. He had fallen asleep on top of her after crying like a child. What she must think of him…

He felt her fingers brushing back his hair and he could not help but close his eyes at the pleasurable sensation. But the pleasure faded as he thought of how the evening before had ended.

“Hermione…I—“

“I don’t think any less of you,” she blurted.

He opened his eyes. The way she was sometimes able to read his thoughts and emotions still startled him.

“In fact if anything I feel closer to you. You let me see that side of you.”

He snorted. “The side that drools on you while I sleep?”

She grinned. “Even that side.” She shrugged. “At least I know what I’m in for.”

He let out a shuddering breath at the thought of them together in the future. His unrealistic fairy tale of the last few weeks was invaded by reality.

He pulled away from her, rose to his feet and began to pace.

She frowned at his change in behavior.

“I’m selfish, Hermione. And often bitter. I’m obsessive and…”

“It’s okay.”

He looked at her in confusion.

Hermione had been expecting him to pull away from her.

She got to her feet and stepped toward him. “It’s okay to be afraid and unsure. Hell, I have been. That’s part of learning about someone, of getting closer. You share things or do things and wonder what the other person might think of you. ”

“I do not want you to regret anything with me. I want you to make sure that spending time with me is what you want and not…”

He closed his eyes and she could feel pain radiating from him.

“And not what? Obsession? Out of loneliness?”

He nodded.

“Give me some credit, Severus. Give yourself some.”

He clasped her arms and looked deep into her eyes. “Just promise me you will think things through. Everything. ”

She leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the mouth. He had thought things through for three years, but obviously had not counted on his insecurities rising to the surface. “I promise. Now what do you have in your cabinets that we can use to make breakfast?”

--

Hermione did as Severus promised and made sure she thought everything through on her own time. Their relationship suffered because of Severus’ fears, but she let him have his way. They both needed time to digest how they felt and what they wanted.

The weeks passed and some of the tension was finally released when Severus invited Hermione to brew with him. The brewing and research caused them to talk openly again and to discuss topics with their normal vigor and not quiet subdued tones.

One evening Hermione did not arrive as she was supposed to. Severus immediately assumed that she had changed her mind about spending time with him.

The arrival of her Patronus, swirling around him, showed him he was being incredibly foolish. Hermione had not come because she had been summoned by Ginny and Harry. Melody had miscarried Ronald Weasley’s child and it had the entire family upset. There was more as well but she promised to see him later that night if he was interested in waiting up.

He waited impatiently. Pacing the small length of his den so many times over that he had lost count.

She arrived, distraught. He immediately took her into his arms. She didn’t cry, but held onto him tightly.

They sat and talked afterward. She told him that the Potters believed Melody and Ron would divorce. They had been fighting frequently since she had become pregnant. It was possible the stress Melody had been under for weeks caused the miscarrige. Ron seemed unstable and Harry had promised that it did not have to do with Hermione and Severus. Hermione did not tell Severus she thought otherwise.

Melody would be okay physically and Severus commented that someone had been looking over her. She had been freed from Ronald Weasley and a loveless marriage.

Severus cooked Hermione a late dinner, and they researched for a while to keep her mind from Melody and Ron. The research helped to keep Severus’ mind on other things as well. He could not help but feel that this could ruin everything. If Melody and Ronald divorced Ronald might focus all his attention on Hermione.

The research somehow led to the couch with Severus and Hermione kissing and touching. It ended with them breaking away before they went too far.

It once again became a trend where their evenings together left them both aroused and incomplete.

--

Time passed as it tended to, and Severus watched Hermione become quiet. Something was definitely bothering her.

They were sitting on the couch one evening. Hermione stared off into the flames reaching up the fireplace.

Severus’ hand covered hers in an effort to break the disturbing tension. She immediately removed her hand. Severus felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Hermione ignored his hurt expression and forced herself to say what was on her mind. “Do you still…love her?”

He did not have to ask who.

“I will always love Lily.” The look of hurt that appeared on Hermione’s face for the briefest moment caused the muscles in his chest to tighten.

“She was the first woman I ever loved, Hermione. The first woman that offered me friendship, companionship despite my upbringing and appearance.”

Hermione still would not look at him. He could see tears in her eyes.

“Hermione…”

“Am I a replacement for what you couldn’t have with her?” she asked softly. Her voice cracked as the words fell. She hated herself for asking such a question, but she had to know. She had been worrying for days. Melody had obviously been a replacement for herself when Ron could not have her.

“How dare you!” Severus cried out and Hermione pulled away, fearing his anger.

“How dare you believe I would ever think so lowly of you!”

She turned to look at him, her eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears.

“This is how things are supposed to be. Lily was supposed to marry Potter, and I was supposed to protect her son. Just as I was meant to notice you all those years later and fall in love with you.”

Hermione’s lips parted in surprise and her heart began to beat hard and fast. “You love me?”

Severus looked at her. “Do you think I could share this much of myself, and want to share more with someone I did not love or trust?”

Her reaction was instant. She threw herself at him, her arms around him, her face buried into his neck and hair. He pulled her more tightly against him, the fear fading to relief.

Hermione knew he felt something for her, but had not realized his feelings went so deep. She felt stupid and childish.

“I’m so sorry I doubted anything…”

He tilted his head and she moved back so they could look at each other.

“I understand…and I echo your feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am not proud to admit this…but I am jealous of Weasley.”

“Severus, you know I don’t feel that way about him.”

“I know… but that does not stop me from feeling insecure. From thinking Weasley wants me to believe I have competition. Especially with his impending divorce.”

“You certainly have NO competition, Severus. I have eyes only for you, regardless of how Ron acts or thinks.”

He brushed her hair back from her shoulders. “I see that now…especially in light of this discussion.” He pushed some of her hair behind one ear. “You have been jealous too.”

She parted her lips to speak and he put one finger against them to silence her.

“I understand why, but you have nothing to fear. You are not a replacement and you never will be. We have both been foolish.”

“Yes. But now we know the truth,” she replied.

He nodded. “Where do we go from here, Hermione?”

She looked down, fidgeting with her hands. “I think we should go upstairs.”

He swallowed hard. Had he just heard her correctly? The blush on her face confirmed that he had.

He had never taken her upstairs. There had been no reason to. The only room there was his bedroom.

“Hermione…” Was he understanding her correctly? It was hard to tell because the blood was pounding in his ears and he could not seem to breath properly.

She forced herself to look at him, even though she knew she was flushed with fear and embarrassement. “Every time we are together we end the night tangled and aroused. We always part uncompleted. But not tonight.”

“Hermione, I do not wish for you to regret-“

She silenced him with a finger to his lips. “I never slept with Ron or Jared for the same reason. It’s silly and childish, but I could only give that part of myself to someone I loved…”

Severus inhaled sharply.

“Which is why I’m offering myself to you alone. Because I love you, Severus Snape.”

A trembling hand reached out to touch her face.

“I promised that I would think things through. Everything; and I have. I don’t care what other people have to say. I only care about what you say and think. I don’t care that Ron still has feelings for me, because it doesn’t matter. I don’t love him. I love you.”

He kissed her hard on the mouth, but did not allow her to respond. He broke away, disentangled himself and got to his feet. Looking down at her he offered his hand, doing his best to keep it from shaking.

“Would you accompany me upstairs, Hermione Granger?”

--

I know awful way to end the chapter! Chapter 7 will be edited for fanfiction dot net, but will be available unedited in my live journal. When it is ready it will be found at cormakfanfic dot livejournal dot com. (Replace dot with . ) I have a lot written, just need to finish it up. Both the edited and unedited versions of chapter 7 will be posted at the same time.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.