Disclaimer: College students rarely have the funds to buy television shows, even if thy re severely underrated.

Time Period: Pre-Series, Season One

A/N: Written for xbitexmyxlipx over at VMSanta, on livejournal, and no, the title has no relation to the Lifehouse song, even if it is one of my favorites. ;)

First Time

The first time Logan realized he was attracted to Veronica wasn’t after Lilly’s death, Duncan’s (first) disappearance, and the destruction of both of their families, like it should have been. It was before, before any of that even started.

It was when she was with Duncan, and he was with Lily and they shouldn’t have been anything more than friends through obligation, association, and all around convince. That’s how it should have been, but that’s not how it really was.

The truth was that Logan had always found Veronica deliriously attractive, even when she was in that stupid soccer uniform. Especially in that soccer uniform. He loved Lily, but when the Fantastic Four went out he couldn’t help but notice her subtle curves, her beautiful features, and the way she could look sexy in a t-shirt and jeans. He didn’t feel bad about it; he’s pretty sure Duncan would have done that same thing with his girlfriend, had it not been his sister.

The first time he realized that his attraction to Veronica was more than just physical was (way) before it should have been. They were supposed to go to the movies, but Duncan and Lily, on their way home from some family function, were running late, which, translated to they weren’t coming

Standing outside Neptune’s movie theatre he looped his arm through hers and led them to a diner. (It was Duncan and Lily who had wanted to see the new Aaron Echolls movie anyway.)

They shared a plate of French fries, and talked for hours. The time flew by, until Veronica got a call from her father, telling her to hurry home unless she wanted a deputy to escort her. Quickly she gathered her stuff and pulled out her purse. She blushed when he told her he would pay, and then turned an adorable shade of red when he insisted on walking her home.

The first time he thought about acting on his attraction for Veronica, was still before it should have been, but he and Lily were on a break, and he was sure that somewhere behind their sunshine and rainbows relationship, Duncan and Veronica weren’t really as happy as they appeared. (That might have been wishful thinking.)

They were at a party, on the beach. He was drunk, and she was sober, but her cheeks were flushed from the ocean breeze and her hair was flowing, and she has just said something incredibly witty but no one else had seemed to notice, because she was Veronica, and she was only there for sugary sweetness and naïve innocence.

So he looked at her, and thought about what it would have been like if he had pressed his lips to hers with Duncan, Lily, and all the 09ers watching. Then, she turned away. The next day he got back together with Lily.

The first time he almost acted on his thoughts about acting on his attraction for Veronica, they were alone. She showed up at his house at one in morning, tears streaming down her face, whispering words like Duncan, and breakup between her sobs. He held her in his arms, and let her cry before telling her he had no idea why Duncan broke up with her.

He drove her home, and walked her to her door, and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. She sighed, and he thought about what it would be like to trap that sigh in her mouth, blockading it with his lips.

He almost found out, but she was looking at him like she knew what he was thinking, and she said something about Lily. And then he remembered that he did, in fact, love Lily, so he watched her go inside, safely, and drove home, still wondering what it would have been like to kiss her.

The first time he treated her as if he despised her was after Lily’s dead, and her father had accused Duncan’s of murder. He had just lost Lily and Duncan wasn’t returning his phone calls, and the way it looked, sooner or later the Mars family would be run out of town. He couldn’t take the thought of losing one more person he cared about (loved, actually), so instead he convinced himself that he hated he (or at least he tried to).

The first time he hated himself for destroying her was the day after Shelley’s end of the year party. He woke up hung over, with distinct memories of a girl with long blonde hair in a white dress. He remembered shots, and drugs, and Veronica making out with Dick Casablancas, and bile rose in his throat. He erased the memories from his mind, (or at least he tried to).

The first time he realized that she wasn’t the same person that she used to be was the first day of Junior year. Her hair was short, and her face was determined, and everything about her was different. A few days later when she walked up to Wallace and cut him loose from the flag pole, he realized just how different she actually was.

The first time he forgot he was supposed to hate her was at Lily’s memorial service, when their eyes meet, and for a moment it was like nothing ever changed, but the claps and cheers of their classmates broke the connection, and he remembered exactly why they were supposed to be enemies.

The first time he realized he liked this new Veronica more than the girl she used to be was when she found out who stole the money from his pool house, and prevented Weevil from breaking his pretty face. She was smart, and sassy, and sarcastic, and she didn’t take anyone’s crap (not even his). He couldn’t help but feel a hint of pride on her behalf.

The first time he let himself care about her again was when she held him in the lobby of the Neptune Grand, and he cried for his mother. She was kind, and concerned, and when he looked her in the eyes, he realized that the old Veronica wasn’t gone, she had just grown up.

The first time he kissed her (old or new), it was her who initiated it. He had just made the grand gesture of rescuing her, only to find out that he had punched out an FBI agent, but he really was not all that concerned because she was safe, and alive, and despite the fact the he made the last year of her life living hell he didn’t know what he would do if he lost her too.

It’s these thoughts that were running through his head when she kissed him, which is why it took him a minute to process what happened, and then he realized she was leaving so he grabbed hold of her arm and spun her around and kissed her like he had wanted to so many times before.

The first time he realized he was in too deep was when she glanced at him from underneath the hood of her car, as he inwardly fought the urge to punch Dick and Beaver. They shared a knowing smile, and later, when they made out in the girl’s bathroom, he felt happier than he had in a long time. So, he kissed her and ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach the told him this wouldn’t end well.

The first time he called her his was in front of half of Neptune High School, at his house. It wasn’t voluntarily, and he hadn’t actually planned it, and he and Veronica never actually discussed their relationship, so he was taking a bit of a leap, but when Dick made a not so witty comment about her he couldn’t help himself. He held his hand out to her as he said it, and for a minute he was afraid she wouldn’t take it, but then she did, and everything was okay.

They had a lot more firsts after that.