I'm not going crazy.

Oh, no, no.

I'm not convincing myself.

I'm NOT trying to deny something…erm…

Oh, yeah! Yeah! AHHHH!!!! EEEEEEE! shivering, rolling madly on bed, tears forming from corners of eyes

Oh, oh, oh, oh! A review!

This amateur…

…got a…

REVIEW!

Wow!

Fabulous!

Pure gratitude!

Thank you very much Yanagi!

Ahhh!!!!!

So, you asked for it, I'll try. But don't expect too much though. After all, I am a beginner…

Enough blabbers.

Sounds in //

Thoughts in italics.

Disclaimers: Noboyuki Anzai owns everything…except the fic.

Jamais Vu

Sequel to Somebody to Love

//creaks//

Solemn gaze followed a silver haired man's back as he took steps away from some patch of grasslands.

//creaks//

She stood just there, still, mind flowing through hidden dimensions she had uncovered before, yet found still so enthralling just now.

//footsteps//

"Going somewhere?"

//creaks//

Silence. Choking silence.

"Need you to care?"

//moan//

"There's no need to pry."

This is ironic, totally. I used to talk to him and he answers with groans, but now it is me who answers with small grumbles.

"Where is this conversation going?"

//sigh//

"Are you going to get her?"

Mikagami Tokiya didn't care to look at her.

"I love her."

She thought he had hurt her so much that there's nothing worse he could do. But saying in front of her that he loved another was so painfully true.

If it had to be him she loved, she wished she had died.

//creaks//

If anyone saw me and him here in this barren playground…no one would believe…

"I think you have to be off to Bobson's right now."

Oh. Bobson's. Bobson's. Yes, her workplace. An ice cream shop. Bobson's.

Somewhere she had always known that seemed to be a distant memory.

Jamais vu.

She thought he had forgotten that. But she hadn't. She once, when the world seemed so carefree and light for her, had narrated Mi-chan about her fabulous work in Bobson's with Koishikawa Miki and Tsuchiya Kei.

"I think monkeys don't care about that though, as long as they eat their meals. You know, the yellow things that--"

"Mi-chan."

An eyebrow twitched.

Silence.

"I love you."

She was crazy. And still is.

If she had once dreamed that Mikagami Tokiya, the resident iceman of team Hokage, would love her back once she admitted her real feelings, she must've known by now that it was not hard to happen. Just impossible.

//light chuckle//

"You happen to be in one of those hungry brutal food attacks, aren't you, she-monkey?"

Nothing.

"Oh, scratch that. He-monkey."

Silence. Realizations flowing through a sensible, logical mind.

…facts clearing up…

"So, let's suppose this." The purple haired woman started. Yes, she is a woman, whatever Mi-chan thinks. Whatever the man she loves thinks. "There was a pair of two very insane, insensible parents who came up with this fucking idea of bearing a child. Unfortunately, she came out as a cross breed. A chimp. She grew in size and not in brains though…"

//whimper//

Eyes widening and tears pushing themselves back to their respective sockets.

Emotions. They are foolish things.

…

"And…"

"And she met a certain know it all in school, and in her godforsaken devastating luck, had fallen for a sought after someone so out of reach that she imagined she had no arms nor hands to get in touch with…"

//silence//

"And he tells her not to pry."

//creaks//

During her childhood, Fuuko had gone to this particular swing after a juvenile banter or a school trouble. Bruised, lonely, angry or happy, she had ran to the same playground equipment.

As years went by, she had found this to be her sanctuary.

And as it witnessed fallen leaves in lazy autumn and blooming flowers of sweet spring, it had observed her from a helpless kid to a brash teenager.

Now, maybe, it just had been snow time.

Winter time.

It would pass. The chill will fade away. And the sun will overpower the freezing malady.

But a soul marred will never be restored as the seasons will.

Now it and just to witness one more moment.

One last time.

As bitter as what it had turned out to be.

She was glad she was ending it.

"You're stupid, Kirisawa Fuuko."

I know.

I know.

Could things stay the way it was before…?

If time stood still…

Those were the moments she'd wish she would stay in.

Forever.

"Answer me, Mi-chan…."

Silence.

"You must understand that people don't copulate with monkeys."

//loud, fast dashes of sprints//

Gone.

No one knows who she is.

No one remembers how she looked…

How she smelt…

How she sounded like…

How she lived her life…

What her attitude was…

What was her routine everyday…

What she feels…

No one was to be blamed. She doesn't know the responses herself.

But she would definitely know how her blood looked like…

How its stinging, metallic smell would linger in the air fading within the dusk…

How crimson it was…

How the sheen liquid coated the shining, sharp knife…

And how it had felt.

Pain. Anguish. Pungent tears.

A bittersweet surrender.

END

A/N: If you're confused on how the story is, all the explanation is here. Though I think it is still a bit…morbid?

The whole story actually was not intended to be a ToFuu fic, but a story of myself. Well, actually, years back, I loved this kind of person like Mi-chan. And I am like Fuuko. (only that I'm not as pretty and as sexy as her ) This is how I imagined he would have rejected me as I told him I loved him. It came from a nightmare.

I didn't commit suicide though…0: )

Please, read and review!

I really need it!