Calligraphy

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Gaara, or even the brushes they used to write these silly things.

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Dear Suna Shinobi

Hi! This is kinda strange asinment, having other ninja as a penpal. Seems kinda silly huh? I dont get it really how writing a bunch of strange people promotes peace between our contrees. Um but I ges ill give it a try! So whats ur name? Favorite color? Boy or gurl? Favorite food? Eye color? Favorite time of the day? Well I guess thats more then enough to stare a long distanse friendship!

Signed N.U.t.K.

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Dear N.U.t.K.,

You have atrocious spelling and grammar skills. Aside that, are you stupid? What shinobi would reveal personal information of that nature to a complete stranger? Never mind, my instructor seems to think it necessary. I'm not telling you my name. My favorite color is crimson, I am a male, and I like spicy foods in general. My eyes are green. I don't' have a favorite time of the day because I like night. Who said anything about friendship?

Regards,

S.n.G.

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Dear S.n.G.

Jeez ur a real kranky guy u no? But thats ok most ppl r this time of year anyways. At least u arent super hyper (like me) I dont think I could stand a penpal who likes to writ long endless letters about nothing! Xcept for me of course. So how have u been life going good for u? Not so much for me the usual though! Nothing I cant handle! Only 1 more week left before the holiday break r u xcited?I am! What do u think ur family will get u? Ive been begging Iruka-sensei for a new set of kunai I hope he gets them for me! Ah well if we dont the chance to talk again before the holidays have a very merry holidays mr grumpypants!

Signed N. U. t. K.

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Dear N.U.t.K.,

Your writing still sucks. You are also a very odd person. What is your name? I inquire so that I may locate you and thus kill you for calling me by such a horrendous name on the next mission near Konohagakure.

Your mother must cry herself to sleep at night. I do not care for the holiday seasons in the least so do not ask again. The direction of my life is not of your concern so once again, stop asking. I hope your instructor buys that set of kunai (why is your teacher buying you gifts?) and uses them on you. If you survive, I hope you freeze to death in the ice of winter.

Regards,

S.n.G.

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Dear S.n.G

Geez I knew better then to eat all of that candy over the holidays! My stomach really tore me up! Not to mention I think my fingers turned to ashe as soon as I picked up your letter from all the HATING! But I dont mind, I no u r just angry because u dont have a gorgus tan and prety blue eyes that ppl get lost in. I cant fault ya buddy! We cant all be perfect! That's new no ones told me they wanted to freeze to death before at least your wishes are creative. Id take u up on that offer on giving u my name and letting u try to kill me but this program is supozed to b about peace and I dont think your teacher wood like it very much if I flexed a little mussle and sent u home in a body bag.

Signed N.U.t.K

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Dear N.U.t.K.,

I fail to see how I can envy your features if I never knew them to begin with. Blue eyes to get lost in, you say? Use them well, should I ever meet you in person they are the first things I'll rip from your body. Enjoy your skin as well; the Shukaku shall enjoy eating it. Will your fan club admire you so then? Oddly enough, I would go far enough to say my sensei would consider it peaceful, you might even be hailed as a hero in Sunagakure if you could take me out. If. Unfortunately however, I highly doubt anyone in your village save your Hokage could do so.

Regards,

S.n.G.

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Dear S.n.G.

Who is Shukaku? And dont bring Sandaime-sama into this those r words 2 fight over.

N.U.t.K.

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Dear N.U.t.K.,

My pet raccoon.

Regards,

S.n.G.

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Dear S.n.G.

Wow I couldnt picture u (well at all cuz I dont know much about how u look) with a pet. How did u tame a rackoon? Well I hope u r doing better then me cuz I got lots of pressure with the Chuunin exams cumming up. R u entering? Im totally kicking ur butt if you do!

Signed,

N.U.t.K.

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Dear N.U.t.K,

Who said anything about tame? Shukaku is a bloodthirsty bastard, and he wants to eat you. Of course I am attending the Chuunin exams. I look forward to gouging your blue eyes out.

Regards,

S.n.G.

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A/N: Have you ever had a plot bunny try to eat you? It's quite frightening I tell you, especially when you are trying to do Algebraic equations. Silly things. Anyhow, here is chapter one. Obviously takes place before the Chuunin exams, next up, after the exams, and Naruto learns how to spell 'you'!

Ten points to anyone who can figure out how Naruto is signing his letters. :D