Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were mine, life would be far less complicated and the sky would be pink. But no… -sobs quietly in the corner-

What’s goin’ on: Smexy boyness (yaoi) and a smattering of curse words. Basically, if I don’t get something written, I’ll die, and AkuRoku smut keeps popping up in my mind. It’s my first, so please, be kind. Lyrics from Run by Snow Patrol.

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“You’re drunk!” Roxas’ blue eyes sparked with anger and unshed tears as he stared in horror at Axel, slumped ungraciously against the doorframe. Emerald irises struggled to focus as Axel shook his head. “No, I’m not. Jus’ tired.” He tried to push off the wall, tried to open his arms up to his boyfriend, but the level of alcohol in his system couldn’t justify his excuse and he fell forward, knees banging the ground with unforgiving force. He swore loudly, wincing inwardly at the visible slur in his voice. There was no way the blonde would believe that bullshit.

“I don’t fucking believe this, Axel. You disappear for days on end, without any warning as to where you’re going, and before I know it, you’re back, smashed. What do you want me to do?” Roxas wanted to punch the redhead relentlessly and run away from him into the bedroom, screaming, all at the same time. He was tired of waking up to find Axel gone, not hear from his boyfriend for a day or two, and then have Axel show up, cuffed or propped up by Demyx.

Hazy, unfocused eyes stared at Roxas in confusion. “I’m home now. Isn’t that what you want?”

“I want you to be sober, Axel!”

“I’m sober! I’m totally-FUCK!” the redhead’s blind searching for a handhold resulted in the corner of the coffee table to meet with the top of his scalp. He saw stars and planets revolving, tears dripping off his long nose onto the hardwood floor beneath his hands. The pain coursed through his body, leaving him weak. He curled into an inebriated ball, clutching the lump beginning to form at the top of his head.

Roxas sighed and wandered over to the crouching man, reaching down to pick Axel up gently. He was heavy, and Roxas exhaled strongly in a silent scream of exertion. “C’mon,” he muttered. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dragging his boyfriend to the bathroom, Roxas didn’t bother to strip Axel as the former flung the taller man into the bathtub and turned on the cold water, full blast. It took a moment, but soon Axel was sputtering for breath, becoming more and more sober with every passing second. Seated on the toilet seat, cold blue eyes watched the proceedings with sad satisfaction. When Axel’s eyes had refocused, he glared balefully at his young partner.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he spat, attempting to shut off the now lukewarm shower that was slowly drowning him.

Shaking his head mournfully, Roxas stood up and walked out of the bathroom. “I could say the same thing,” Axel heard him mutter before the door slammed shut, leaving a very wet, very shamefaced Axel sitting in the domestic rain.

--

“I’m an idiot.” The admission didn’t go unnoticed by Roxas’ ears, but he didn’t roll over as Axel walked in to the bedroom they shared, toweling his scarlet locks dry.

“You bet.” Roxas kept his eyes screwed stubbornly shut as Axel sat on the edge of the bed. He could feel the older man’s weight tilting the mattress, could smell the clean, fresh scent of the soap they had bought together at the market a week ago. His world shook slightly as Axel lobbed the wet towel into the clothes hamper Sora had given them for Christmas, and then all was silent.

But not for long

“Reno called today.” Axel’s voice was tired and gruff, hinting that he had been crying in the shower. That not only made Roxas open his eyes, but sit up as well, letting the sheet fall to his waist, revealing a sun-kissed, faintly chiseled chest. “Really.” Roxas sighed, leaning against the wall that served as a headboard, crossing his arms. The topic of Axel’s older brother was a thorn in the young man’s side. Reno had a tendency of being reckless, irresponsible, and vaguely annoying when he wanted to be. A high school dropout at sixteen, he had set the way for a hard life for his younger brother. Everywhere Axel went, all people could see was Reno, the failure. Throughout high school and into college, Roxas had done his best to keep Axel positive and surrounded by those who had a good influence. But it was hard when Reno decided to come back and send all the Roxas had done crashing to the ground in a fiery maelstrom of arguments and painful accusations.

Axel refused to meet his boyfriend’s eye as he nodded. “He and my parents aren’t speaking anymore. They wouldn’t give him any more money. He went on one of his anger binges and they called the cops on him. I had to bail him out, and then he took me to get a drink.” Bloodshot eyes confirmed Roxas’ suspicions of tears as Axel turned to look at him. “He and Cloud split for good.”

“I know. Cloud told me.” That he and Leon had started sleeping together, I mean. Roxas tucked his knees under his chin, thinking of his cousin’s sad eyes over the coffee they had shared after work the other day. Roxas hadn’t known that Reno and Cloud were even back together in the first place until Cloud had filled him in.

“Well, you know how emotionally fucked Reno gets.” Axel’s eyes pleaded with Roxas to understand. The blonde, however, refused to comply. “That doesn’t mean you have to get hammered every time he has a relationship problem. I mean, Jesus, Axel…” he trailed off, both of them knowing what he was going to say.

“What?” Axel stood quickly, plaid flannel pants slipping dangerously low on his narrow hips. “He’s my brother, Rox. What was I supposed to do, bail him out and then leave him on some random street corner?”

Roxas forced his eyes to leave the line of ginger hair disappearing into Axel’s pants and up to the anguished gaze of his lover. “Well, that’s what I do to Sora when he’s being a ducktard.”

Axel cocked one eyebrow at Roxas’ idea of a mean name, but his defensive posture remained the same. “I’m being serious here, Rox.”

“So was I,” the blonde muttered. Roxas pulled the sheet off of him and stood, rubbing his arms against the minor chill in the room. “Listen, Axel,” he pulled on the older man’s arm, bringing the two of them closer, “I know Reno’s your brother and everything, but he’s a bad influence. I understand helping him, really, I do, but I hate when you come home and don’t remember your name, let alone mine.” He wrapped his skinny arms around the taller man’s neck and rose on sock covered toes to press a chaste kiss to Axel’s nose. “Most of all, I hate waking up and finding your side of the bed cold.” His hips ground against the redhead’s provocatively and Axel gasped. “You really suck at being mad at me,” he muttered, trapping the blonde’s lips with his and ravishing them. Roxas had to work hard to keep his wits about him as Axel’s mouth worked wonders. “I know,” he moaned between kisses and licks, “Riku thinks I need help.”

“Hey, fuck that. I don’t mind.” Axel chuckled briefly before another gasp caught him. Roxas’ nimble fingers had slipped under the waistband of his pants and wrapped firmly around Axel’s semi-hard member, squeezing in a fulfilling-yet-torturous kind of way. He let his head fall back as the warmth from Roxas’ palm brought him to full attention and Axel was putty in his young lover’s hands. Literally.

The whimpers of disappointment that escaped Axel’s lips had Roxas grinning devilishly as he withdrew his hand from Axel’s cock. “Shut up,” he muttered into the redhead’s collarbone, pushing the man backwards onto their bed. Axel lay still, watching Roxas under half-mast lids. “Is this a pity fuck?” he asked quietly, gaze ready to be filled with immeasurable sadness if it was, indeed, nothing more than that.

But Roxas merely scoffed and tugged on the waistband of the pajamas, pulling them over Axel’s hips and down his thighs, revealing an arousal that did Roxas proud. He tossed the pants onto the ground to be picked up later and returned his attentions to where Axel watched with wary eyes. “Not a pity fuck, no.” Roxas removed his own pants and socks, then crawled up over his boyfriend’s body to kiss him soundly on the mouth. “Never a pity fuck,” he whispered over Axel’s skin before slinking back down to where Axel’s erection waited impatiently. He licked his lips hungrily and dove in for the kill.

Axel was gone the minute Roxas’ eyes took on that rare, predatory look and that pink tongue slipped between cherry red lips, wetting them. When warm, wet heat engulfed his cock, he arched off the bed, fingers scrambling to find purchase in flaxen strands. Roxas’ hands gently pressed him back to the mattress and held him there, torturing him more pleasantly than anything Axel had ever known. Tongue and teeth and throat brought him to the brink and back again, teasing and worshipping all at once. The blonde’s head bobbed slowly, reminding Axel why he had ever fallen in love with Roxas in the first place. The boy knew how to take his time, how to make Axel beg for what he really wanted. Roxas knew what was best for the redhead, and he made sure Axel worked for it.

The sex was pretty mind-blowing too.

“God, Rox,” Axel whined, wanting to buck up into that perfect mouth. “Faster, please.”

Roxas hummed at the back of his throat and slung an arm over Axel’s hips to hold him while the other hand reached down to cup Axel’s balls lovingly. His fingers rolled them slowly, massaging each one with tender care.

“F-fuck,” Axel whispered, eyes staring in shock at the ceiling. This was new. Never before had Roxas been so bold in his ministrations. His whole body tensed in appreciation as the pleasure ricocheted through every inch of his lanky frame.

Roxas felt Axel’s surprise and it spurred him on. With one hand playing with his lover’s sac, the other wrapped around the base of Axel’s dick, stroking in time with Roxas’ tongue. This allowed Axel’s hips to move of their own accord, and Axel moaned loudly as he was sucked off. He panted loudly, wanting release that was fast approaching.

“Faster, faster,” Axel groaned to the room as he neared the edge. Roxas felt his boyfriend’s peak getting closer and he made a split second decision; without warning, he opened his throat and slid Axel’s length down, humming lightly to stimulate further. Axel’s cry of surprise would have made the blonde smile had his mouth not been otherwise occupied.

“Rox, I’m-I’m-” Axel came almost violently, hips and back arching up off the bed as he shot into Roxas’ throat. The blonde held on for the whole ride, swallowing every hot, salty drop like it was his last drink as a free man. When he was sure Axel was done, he lifted his head off of the man’s softening member, smiling softly. He wiped his mouth slowly, savoring the flavor he had come to associate with Axel. “I love you,” he whispered in the dark, certain from Axel’s loud breathing that the redhead wouldn’t hear him.

Strong hands caught him off guard, causing Roxas to emit a small yelp before he was dragged into another passionate kiss, courtesy of one very satisfied Axel. He found himself encased under a warm body, teased mercilessly by warm fingers and wandering hands. “You. Are. Amazing.” Every word from Axel’s mouth was punctuated by kisses up and down Roxas’ cheek.

“You scare me.” Roxas’ deadpan shocked Axel into freezing and he pulled back to look at the blonde seriously. There was no lie in the cobalt eyes and he shifted uncomfortably. “I know.”

Pulling his lover down for a kiss, Roxas grinned slightly. “Just don’t do it. Call Reno in the morning and see if there’s something we can do to fix whatever riff there is between him and your parents. I’ll talk to Sora and see what advice he has.”

“You’re a god. You know that, right?” Axel pressed a light kiss to the bridge of Roxas’ nose and shifted again, feeling the hardness against his thigh. “A god who is very, very unfulfilled.”

Roxas gasped and squirmed as Axel’s hands slipped down and began stroking him lightly. “I love you too,” came the whisper and he smiled happily.

Have heart my dear

We're bound to be afraid

Even if it's just for a few days

Making up for all this mess