He Returned Changed
Part 1 out of 3 (?)

Characters: Charlie, Claire, Hurley, Desmond, Sayid, Sawyer, various Losties.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Beginning of S3
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost. I keep asking and they keep saying no. It’s a sad thing.
Summary: When Charlie starts having visions of his fellow survivors deaths, how will he cope when he suddenly becomes everyone’s personal hero? And what will Claire think when he suddenly has no time to be hers any longer?
Note: Again - PaceJunkieowns the bunny! This started out with me talking about doing a fic with Charlie having visions of Desmond’s death, and she stepped in, helped me jazz it up a bit with multiple death visions and some CC and this is what it became! This is very AU for the sake of storytelling. Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley never left for the Others and Michael isn’t going to be mentioned. And Sun, Jin and Sayid aren’t on Des’ sailboat. The whole group is together. Also - Eko is killed off in the same way, but at a different time. You’ll see. It’s just to make the story flow easier.

---

“Charlie, what do you mean Locke isn’t going to need your help?”

“I’m just assuming he won’t. You know - I helped him with his sweat lodge and all, and now he wants to go run off and save Eko’s life? I don’t even know what he’s talking about! He wants to do it by himself.”

Claire was standing outside her tent with Aaron, bouncing on her heels to soothe him to sleep. She rolled her eyes slightly at Charlie and sat down. “Well, I’m certainly not going to make you go if you don’t want to. It’s just that Eko’s your friend and I thought that…you know…you’d want to help.”

“I do,” Charlie responded. “I just…it won’t help. I mean - I just don’t think I should get involved. Locke will bring him back.”

Claire noted how anxious he was. And how he wasn’t really meeting her eyes much. He had been like this since his return from the hatch. A little jumpy, a little odd…he hadn’t even asked to hold Aaron. Charlie would usually jump at the opportunity to help out. She decided that the only reason he didn’t want to run off with Locke was because of how he had been treated by him earlier. And she could understand that.

“Well, if you’re not going to go with Locke, sit with me awhile, all right? We haven’t had much time to talk.” She sat down outside the entrance to her tent and put Aaron in his crib. She patted the spot on the sand next to her and smiled up at him.

Charlie stepped away a little awkwardly and lowered his eyes. “I was just going to go get Jack to look at my cuts. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Claire sighed. “Charlie, you have a cut on your elbow. Jack is just going to think you’re silly.”

Charlie just shrugged and walked away. She frowned and watched him leave.

---

“Charlie, it’s just a little scrape,” Jack laughed as he examined Charlie’s elbow and cleaned off some of the dried blood. “Is it really bothering you that much?”

“No,” Charlie admitted. “I just needed an excuse to get away for awhile.”

Jack raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Charlie shrugged, his voice even and dry. “It’s just…personal.”

“Got it,” Jack nodded, deciding not to press the subject. “Hey - Bernard said you were having some trouble with your hearing. That’s not still bothering you, is it? I mean, you‘re a musician…”

“My hearing is fine,” Charlie assured him. An awkward pause followed before Jack spoke up.

“Why are you here, Charlie? You just have a couple cuts. Your hearing is fine. Are you sure there isn’t something wrong?”

“Yeah, positive,” Charlie said a little too quickly.

Jack frowned slightly and stood up. “You need anything, come find me.” He turned to head to his tent and took a few steps. Just as he did so, Charlie sprung to his feet and grabbed Jack’s arm, pulling him back around. “No, Jack! Wait!”

Just as the last word slipped from him, a loud clear shot rang out in the air. Jack jerked around to see Sawyer standing off a distance, a gun and a rag in his hand. He was staring down at them in shock. Hurley was standing nearby as well, a look of complete horror on his face.

“…Dude. What the hell?”

“What?” Sawyer snapped.

“Sawyer, even I know you’re supposed to take out the bullets before you clean a gun.”

“Shut up,” Sawyer growled, storming away - visibly frazzled.

Hurley rolled his eyes and glanced over to see Charlie and Jack standing a few feet away. Charlie had a grip on Jack’s upper arm and Jack looked a little detached and confused. Hurley blinked.

“Whoa, Jack, were you about to walk in front of him?”

Jack nodded slightly and turned back to Charlie, frowning. Charlie avoided his eyes and let go of him, walking towards Hurley. Jack stood still a moment before walking in the opposite direction.

“Dude, Charlie, I just totally had déjà vu…”

“Oh yeah?” Charlie asked, mildly interested as he headed towards Hurley’s tent. Hurley followed.

“Yeah. This one time, when I was fifteen, my mom and I were at this red light. And she was putting on makeup in the mirror and the light turned green. She didn’t go and I was like ‘dude, mom, the light is freaking green.’ And then, like, this huge semi came speeding through the intersection and took out, like, three cars that already went. You’re like Jack’s makeup.”

Charlie paused and turned around, staring at him.

“Dude, it’s an analogy.”

Charlie rolled his eyes and stepped inside Hurley’s tent. Hurley frowned and walked in after him. “Hey - what’re we doing in here?”

Charlie didn’t answer as he dug through Hurley’s food stash and pulled out a box of Apollo bars. Without another word, he simply walked out of the tent and back out to the beach. Hurley sighed and followed after him.

“Charlie, if you want one you can just have one.”

Charlie ignored him as he continued walking. As he walked past their camp fire, he tossed the box into the flames.

Hurley gaped and threw his arms up in the air, appalled. “Dude, what’s wrong with you?!”

Charlie didn’t even look back.

---

When Claire found him later on in the day, he was in his tent packing a backpack. She didn’t pay attention to what he was doing, but invited herself in and casually started a conversation. She wanted to forget about how awkward he had acted that morning. She was hoping that he was getting over whatever had happened in the hatch and was ready to talk to her normally again.

“I’ve been looking for you,” she stated. “Come on - lets have lunch together.”

Charlie glanced up at her and then stood up off the floor of his tent, throwing his pack over his shoulder. “I can’t right now, Claire. I’ve gotta go.”

Claire frowned and stepped in front of the exit of the tent. “Go where? Where’re you running off to?”

“It’s actually not really your business,” Charlie said flatly with a shrug. “But I need to go now.”

Claire froze at the tone he was using with her, but then she side-stepped away from the exit and let him pass. She followed after.

“Is this because I kissed you?”

It was Charlie’s turn to freeze now. He turned around to face her, his expression slightly darkened but rather hidden at the same time. It actually frightened her.

“No, Claire. It has nothing to do with you.”

Claire glanced down, unsettled. Despite this, she was nearly positive it was because of their kiss. But her thoughts were shattered when she heard Aaron wake from his nap, crying in his crib by her tent. She glanced over her shoulder and sighed. “I better go-”

But when she turned back around to look at Charlie, he was walking away towards the treeline. Claire angrily turned away and walked over to Aaron’s crib, lifting him out and rocking him carefully. She was busy glaring at Charlie’s back when Sayid came up behind her.

“Claire? Are you all right?” he asked, obviously sensing her frustration

“Well - Charlie’s decided to go wander off in the woods alone without even telling me why. I think he might be going off to try and help Locke, which doesn’t make any sense because this morning he was talking about how he didn’t even want to,” Claire explained, agitated.

“I don’t believe he is going after Locke,” Sayid decided. “Locke wouldn’t let any of us go with him. He was convinced it was his job. Charlie most likely doesn’t want to get caught up in the midst of that.”

“Then where is he going?” Claire asked, not exactly expecting an answer.

“I could go with him, if you’d like me to,” Sayid offered. “Claire, what happened in the hatch may be accountable for his behavior. Jack tried talking to him about it and he never got anything much from him. You know how he acted after he shot Ethan. He may need some time to just get over it.”

Claire nodded slightly, feeling guilty for being so upset at him. “Please go with him.”

Sayid agreed, grabbed his pack, and walked towards the treeline where he found Charlie standing, looking around him with a backpack slung over one shoulder. When he caught sight of Sayid, his face brightened slightly. Sayid covered the space between them and frowned thoughtfully.

“Where are you going, Charlie?”

“I was just going for a walk.” He looked at Sayid hopefully. “You care to join me?”

Sayid nodded, not letting his surprise that Charlie had offered show through. Charlie gave him a half smile and Sayid followed him out into the trees.

It didn’t take long for Sayid to make the observation that Charlie seemed to know where he was going. Sayid was actually following him rather than walking next to him, as one would tend to do on a walk. Charlie’s steps were sure and positive. Not once did he stop to even consider where he was going. He didn’t talk to Sayid, and Sayid couldn’t find the room in their silence to ask him questions. Instead of being suspicious, he was more interested in seeing what would come of this.

It wasn’t until at least fifteen minutes later that Charlie finally spoke.

“Sayid? You brought a gun, yeah?”

“Yes,” Sayid answered. “I don’t travel anywhere without it. Why?”

Charlie pretended that he hadn’t heard the question, but Sayid figured he had.

Five minutes later, and Sayid decided that this situation was too strange - and potentially dangerous - for them to continue any further. “Charlie, are you ready to tell me-”

“Shh.”

Charlie had stopped directly in front of him and was peering from behind a tree off into a clearing that lie ahead. Sayid came up behind him carefully. And then he saw what Charlie was looking at.

A naked man - that Sayid identified to be Desmond - was lying in the clearing on his back, seemingly unconscious. Sayid had learned to expect odd things and the Scotsman from their underground hatch lying naked in the middle of the jungle certainly wasn’t an exception. Sayid sighed and moved to take a step towards him.

“We should go make sure he’s all right.”

“No, wait…” Charlie warned. Sayid was close to ignoring him. But then he noticed a large white bear step out on the opposite side of the clearing. Sayid quickly stepped back next to Charlie and slipped his gun out of his waistband and switched it off of safety. Just as the bear noticed Desmond, it let out a deep growl and approached his body. Sayid raised his gun and expertly shot it three times in the head. It collapsed, and after a few seconds of labored breathing it passed.

Charlie, who seemed two steps ahead of Sayid, was digging in his backpack. He pulled out a shirt and a pair of jeans and ran into the clearing to Desmond, who had been startled by the gunshots and was sitting up.

Charlie tossed the outfit into his lap. “Put this on,” Charlie offered, his eyes averted up to the tree tops.

Desmond pulled the shirt over his head and slipped into the pants. Sayid approached them in the clearing, his gun still clutched in his hand.

“Desmond - are you hurt?”

“He’s fine,” Charlie muttered, turning his back to them and heading back off on the path towards the beach. Desmond took a moment and groaned, rubbing his eyes. He finally nodded at Sayid.

“Aye. I think I’m all right.”

They walked back - following Charlie. Desmond proceeded to tell Sayid all he knew about what had happened in the hatch and how he wasn’t sure how he survived it all. Turning the key had certainly been suicide, but somehow he had been spat out of the catastrophe.

“Was he with you?” Sayid asked, nodding over at Charlie.

Desmond glanced ahead at Charlie’s back and frowned slightly. “I saw him once with your friend Eko. I don’t know how he got out, but I reckon from the time I saw him until the time I turned the key he had the time to walk out.”

“I only ask because he seems to be emotionally affected by what happened,” Sayid explained. “But I’m not sure why or how.”

“Well, I could see why,” Desmond said. “There were a lot of things going on in there and he seemed accidentally caught up in it all. You say Eko is still missing - that may have something to do with it, brother. He stayed with him the whole time, as far as I could tell.”

Desmond quickened his pace to catch up with Charlie. If he wasn’t confiding even in his friends, Desmond doubted he could get anything out of him. He was more fascinated that this man was British and perhaps they could relate to that, at least.

“Sorry,” Desmond said as he came up to walk next to him. “But you’ll have to remind me of your name again.”

“It’s Charlie,” Charlie answered, shrugging slightly.

Desmond nodded. “Charlie - right. So you’re from England?”

Charlie gave him a wry smile. “Didn’t realize it was that obvious.”

Desmond smiled. “Manchester?”

Charlie laughed slightly and nodded. “Yeah, I’m from Manchester.”

“I used to live in London,” Desmond explained. “Did you ever spend time there?”

“No - I lived in England and never went to the capital.” Charlie rolled his eyes slightly. “I spent a good deal of time there in ‘96.”

Desmond raised his eyebrows. “Really? That’s when I lived there.”

“Ohhh, maybe we met,” Charlie said sarcastically as he walked a little faster.

Desmond sighed. “I’ll stop the small talk, then. You were in the hatch with me - what’s your story?”

Charlie glanced at him briefly and shrugged. “Why?”

“I guess I’d like to have some sort of an answer as to why I woke up unharmed in the jungle,” Desmond said. “I was just wondering what happened to you.”

“I just walked out. Sorry. Can’t help you.”

Charlie sped up and pushed through the branches at the edge of the jungle.

“Thanks,” Desmond muttered to himself as he followed him out.

---

Eko was dead. According to Locke, it was because of the smoke monster. Claire had been worried sick over Charlie - afraid that maybe after it had taken Eko it would go after him. She was relieved when she saw Charlie emerge from the woods, and shocked to see Desmond follow after him.

She was thankful that he was ok. But she was nervous over having to be the one to tell him about his friend.

She had assumed he would go directly to her tent to tell her everything that had happened and to talk to her - really talk to her. But without even a glance in her general direction, he went straight for his own tent.

Claire restrained herself from getting upset and calmly approached him, wondering exactly how she could word what she was about to say. She didn’t want to see his expression break or to have to see him cry. She didn’t want him to blame himself for not going with Locke to help. She was about to run off to find Locke and make him tell Charlie, but she blurted out the words automatically when she stopped in front of him.

“Charlie, Eko’s dead.”

No tears. No shock. A frown - yes. A look of disgust? She couldn’t tell but his reaction wasn’t at all how she had expected. He simply hung his head so his eyes were darkened, and he nodded.

“Charlie…” she tried, snaking an arm around his waist in an attempt to comfort him. “You ok?”

“Fine,” Charlie muttered. “I’m fine.”

“Well, you’re staying with me tonight,” Claire decided for him, licking her thumb and rubbing a smudge of dirt off his cheek like a doting mother. Charlie would usually blush or smile at her shyly if she ever did anything like that, but now he was as stiff as if a random stranger had walked up and did it to him. She sighed. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“You don’t act like it anymore.”

---

“Sayid - dude. Do you have any Apollo bars?”

Sayid was casually passing by Hurley’s tent on the way to his own. He came to a stop next to Hurley and shook his head. “No - I don’t. Didn’t you have a box of them?”

“That was before Charlie turned into the candy bar Nazi.”

Sayid raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Ok, so, after Jack almost gets shot, we’re just walking and he goes in my tent, pulls out the box of Apollo bars, and randomly tosses them into the fire. I’ve told him, like, a million times that’s the last box and I’ll never let him have one because I want to save them. I was kidding. But whatever. I gave up on trying to understand people here a long time ago. I just kind of go with the flow.”

“You never questioned why he did that?” Sayid asked suspiciously.

“Oh, ‘questioning,’” Sawyer smirked as the strode up to Hurley and Sayid. “Who gets tortured next?”

Sayid ignored him and continued on with Hurley. “You say Jack almost was shot - how?”

“Well, this genius here -” Hurley nodded at Sawyer. “Decided to clean a gun in the middle of camp. Bullet is still in there - no safety lock. Jack is totally about to walk right in front of him when Charlie calls him back or something. And then the gun went off.” Hurley paused. “It was kinda cool.”

Sawyer grunted and Sayid frowned thoughtfully.

“Charlie has been acting odd. I believe it’s time we find out exactly what has happened.”

“We?” Sawyer asked. “No offense, Osama. But your methods of ‘finding out’ usually result in a couple of missing fingernails.” He gave him a little mocking smile. “I have personal experience.”

Sayid looked at Sawyer with blank eyes and then back at Hurley. “You’re one of his best friends. Will you talk to him?”

“For the sake of keeping my surviving candy bars alive and well - nah.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I know. Sorry…but…” Hurley glanced past Sayid at Desmond who was crossing over to them at the moment. “I have a better idea.”

Desmond came to a halt next to Sayid and looked around at them. He seemed rather uncomfortable, but it did appear he was attempting to get to know this new group better. “I…er…could I get a hand with building a shelter?”

“Cool - you didn’t disintegrate,” Hurley observed, throwing an arm loosely around Desmond’s shoulders. “Forget about the shelter. Have you met Charlie?”

Desmond blinked. “Briefly.”

Sayid understood what he was getting at. “Hurley…”

“What?!” Hurley exclaimed. “They’re both British. They’re totally gonna have this crazy brotherly connection and it’s gonna be awesome.”

“Desmond is Scottish…” Sawyer put in. “Not British.”

“Wow, lets give Sawyer the geography award,” Hurley said sarcastically. “Great Britain definitely includes Scotland. Why does Jack even let you carry a gun?”

“I think I’ll just go work on building my shelter,” Desmond muttered, turning to go. But Hurley quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back around.

“No, dude. Me and you are gonna go talk to Charlie and find out what’s up.”

Sawyer briefly disappeared inside his tent and came back out with a bottle of whiskey clutched by the neck. “Well, if you want to get someone to talk…” he passed the bottle to Desmond. “McCutcheon will do the trick.”

Desmond stared down at the label and suddenly started laughing.

Sayid frowned. “It would be better if we just talked to him.”

“I don’t know him,” Desmond spoke up, still grinning down at the bottle. “But judging by the way he talked to me earlier, he’s not gonna go for anything like ‘just talking,’ brother. If we loosen him up, though - that may do the trick.”

---

He wasn’t saying much, but at least he was staying with her for the time being. That was, until, this Scottish man that Claire hardly knew came to retrieve him.

“Can I borrow you, Charlie?” he asked.

Claire glanced over at Charlie and frowned. Charlie didn’t know this man well either, and she thought that maybe he’d refuse to go off with him. But Charlie was on his feet right at the suggestion.

Maybe it was an excuse to get away from her.

Claire frowned and stood as well, setting Aaron in his crib. “Well, where are you two going?”

Desmond hesitated - unsure of what to say. But Charlie spoke up instead.

“Stop worrying, Claire,” he said. “I’ll be back later.” He turned quickly and left, Desmond following.

“Is she your girlfriend, then?” Desmond asked as they walked down the beach.

Charlie shrugged. “I dunno. Look - what’s this about, Desmond?”

They were greeted by Hurley, who was making his way towards them with the bottle of whiskey and a smile.

---

Charlie was a happy drunk. He had taken the whiskey without any questions, which was more reason to think that there was something on his mind that he was trying to avoid and forget. Desmond knew the feeling.

He saw Charlie in a different light now. At first, he had been rather cynical and rude. But now he was laughing and delighted when he realized that he knew the same drinking songs as Desmond.

Charlie was talking - but it was mostly nonsense. Hurley and Desmond had made a point to drink lightly so they could do what they had set out to do in the first place.

“Charlie - can I ask you something?” Hurley questioned randomly in the middle of one of the drinking songs Desmond had started.

Charlie paused, his eyes clouding over. “Huh?”

“Why did you burn my Apollo bars? And how did you know to stop Jack from walking out in front of Sawyer? And…how did you know where Desmond was and that you needed to bring clothes? You were just going on a walk.”

Desmond glanced over at Charlie curiously, only to see him staggering to his feet and looking drastically upset. Desmond jumped up as well and gently forced Charlie back down to a seated position. He sat in front of him and Hurley wandered over as well.

“Well?” Hurley asked.

Charlie shrugged helplessly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Desmond and Hurley exchanged looks and Hurley continued to press on. “Charlie, I’m not doing this to be mean. It’s just this might be important…and we’re all kinda worried about you…”

“So you get me drunk and think I’m gonna talk about it?” Charlie slurred. “No.”

“Charlie, come on…” Hurley tried again. Desmond could tell he was feeling guilty for this and was wanting to get it over with as soon as possible.

Finally, something in Charlie snapped and he started crying quietly. Desmond rested a hand on his shoulder and Hurley moved closer, waiting.

“You choked,” Charlie sobbed. “On the candy bars. You were eating one too fast and you…you choked on it and you passed out and Jack couldn’t get you up. And Jack…Jack got shot in the back and he died, too. And Desmond…the polar bear drug you away like it did Eko and killed you…”

Hurley took a step back. “Whoa, Charlie…” he glanced at Desmond. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I don’t think he’s thinking right, dude. He’s a little too loose.”

Desmond shook his head and continued to listen.

“Don’t you understand?!” Charlie exclaimed. “Sayid was a part of it…so I waited…because I knew he would…he would shoot the bear…couldn‘t help Eko…because the Island did it and I couldn't stop it…”

Hurley had stepped away and was pacing the beach. Desmond pulled up a shaking and crying Charlie to his feet and helped him balance.

“I’m taking him back to Claire now,” Desmond called over to Hurley, who looked panicked and confused.

“What do we do?!” Hurley exclaimed. “He doesn’t even know what he’s talking about! He‘s just gonna scare people…”

Desmond led Charlie back into Claire’s tent where she was sitting up and writing in her diary. She got one look at Charlie and jumped to her feet.

“What did you do to him?!” she demanded, grabbing Charlie’s other arm and helping him sit down on her blankets. Charlie wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and blinked at her. She could smell the whiskey on his breath.

Desmond tried to slip out, but Claire grabbed his arm angrily and he willingly but hesitantly turned back to her.

“What did you do?”

“Sister, I think there’s something you should know.”

-LOST-