Top Reasons Why My Life Doesn't Suck

Compiled by Haruno Sakura,
With awesome comments by Yamanaka Ino

1. I have a totally awesome boyfriend who is, well, totally awesome

Yeah, seriously. Share the love, forehead-girl! Share. The. Love. You get hot man candy, courtesy of me, and you don't even think to include me in your list.

2. Okay, fine, I also have totally awesome friends. Most importantly—Ino-pig. Because she is the bestest friend I could ever ask for! Yay!

No need to be so sarcastic. It burns.

3. My aforementioned boyfriend just bought me the best shoes I think I have ever seen in my whole entire life ever.

Aww, what about those boots I bought you? Or are they suddenly inferior?

4. My hair is still the awesomest it has ever been

Dude, adjectives, puh-lease. There are words other than awesome.

5. Our circle of friends is now the strongest ever! I am so glad Sasuke-kun lets Sai hang with us, because that is the best present I could ask for

…OKAY. NO NEED TO MAKE ME JEALOUS HERE.

6. I AM HAPPY. NO ANGST AT ALL. NONE. NADA. ZILCH.

And who is responsible for all that non-angst? Me! I should be given things, too.

20/8: uh, can you say CHA-CHING?

So. It's been a week and a half since the Park Incident, as I call it (although Ino-pig calls it the Park Epiphany because she's lame) and I have been basically on Cloud Nine for the entirety of that time. I mean please. I'm officially dating the Uchiha Sasuke who I have been in love with for, oh, I don't know, a gazillion years? Plus I think Sasuke-kun feels kinda bad for some reason so—

Sakura-chan is totally benefited by the fact Sasuke-kun is a millionaire and heir to a family fortune that could probably buy several small countries. With an amusement park. (I get to mooch off him so bad. At least it means he buys me caramel frappuccinos whenever I ask for them.)

I've also reached the conclusion that I'm probably going to stop writing in my diary as much. And when I say that, I mean I'll probably stop writing full stop. Of course, it's all fine and good when life's being a bitch and you want it to be so much more, but right now life is perfectly a-okay with me. Seriously. I WOULD NOT HAVE THE NERVE TO COMPLAIN ANYMORE.

(Unless you want to get into specifics. In which case, I'm kinda pissed that I have to sacrifice a date with Sasuke-kun to study for a stupid Economics test.)

This past month… well, I've probably learned more than I have in my entire life. Before I was just blindly in love with Sasuke-kun, never justifying it to myself or asking myself why it hurt so badly to want him so much. And then I just disregarded that to revel in the whole Sai thing—and now I know how important Sai's friendship is, and Sasuke-kun's love is, and hell, I am repentant.

But I think, because I have a major tendency to overanalyse things, and this diary probably isn't helping that, that it would probably be a good time to bid it farewell.

So, dear diary—

You've been my friend through the most difficult period in my life, and I thank you oh-so-much, Mr. Inanimate Object Incapable of Emoting.

But seriously. Right now I just want to live like I never have before.

Farewell for the finally fantabulous time,
Haruno Sakura

To: UchihaS; prettyprincess77
From: foxydemon
Subject: Well, hi!

Teme! Sakura-chan!

This is your respective best friend speaking—I am much cooler than Ino—who you seem to have forgotten about this past week. I still exist, you know. I am still eating ramen and failing classes and helping people out globally.

Just because you guys after finally together after about ten years doesn't mean I have to give a shit. So plz, take time off your lives and come to this PAH-TAY! It is being held at my house—got that, teme? I'm not in the mood for your bitchy whining about how your house got toilet-papered last time—and everyone who is somebody will be there. Which means you guys can stop with the smoochies and come, too.

Yes, teme, I can almost feel your glare. Agh, I flail!

I SAY—

I AM MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN THE BOTH OF YOU COMBINED. I already had to accept that you chose the teme over me, Sakura-chan, pleeease don't make this more traumatic! Please? I'll give you a cookie. If I have a cookie. I think the last one is wedged in the sofa somewhere, if you want it.

-Naruto of Ramen

P.S—considering you have been ignoring me, I demand you buy me lunch. I do. I will not cease and desist until I have lunch. THAT IS RIGHT AHAHAHA—yeah.

To: prettyprincess77
From: UchihaS
Subject: …

Do you want to go to the party?

It sounds stupid. But I'll go if you want to.

-Sasuke

To: UchihaS
From: prettyprincess77
Subject: Heehee

Aww, that's so sweet, Sasuke-kun!

I guess I really should be studying for Economics, but…

…can we say that Naruto forced us? Kakashi-sensei will believe it.

Out,
Sakura-chan!

P.S--HAY THAT IS LIKE THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE SIGNED OFF WITH YOUR NAME. Usually you don't bother. I feel special.

To: foxydemon; prettyprincess77
From: UchihaS
Subject: (none)

We're coming, dobe. No need to get so worked up over it.

And shut up, Sakura.

So, forehead-girl, LET'S GO SHOPPING!

…what do you want this time, Ino-pig?

For the party, duh. The party I am forcing you to go to? The party we are getting prepared for together, screw Emo Fringe?

My fringe is not emo.

Sasuke-kun, don't mind her. She's delusional.

HELLO? You so would have agreed with me, like, two months ago.

…thanks, Sakura.

Ugh, I so would not have! I told you, Sasuke-kun, she has an unstable balance on reality.

Puh-lease, it's you two who are being all lovey-dovey. Plus, Sakura, what about that time when you said that Sasuke was the biggest assh—

I SAID NO SUCH THING!

Geez, you could've let me finish writing first.

It's good to know I'm appreciated.

You are way more appreciated than INO-PIG, you know. And Ino-pig, Sasuke-kun is picking me up, so deal with it.

BLASPHEMY.

How so?

You don't even know what the word 'fashion' means. How are you going to give Sakura constructive criticism on her outfit?

Well, see, he has three different types of 'Hns'…

I do?

He does?

Not that I, uh, catalogue them or anything!

Oooh, do tell, my liege.

Ino-pig, what did I tell you about watching period dramas? Ugh. Anyway, there's:
-the unenthusiastic 'Hn', the one where he sorta rolls his eyes, which means 'I really do not like that outfit'

-the slightly appreciative 'Hn', where he looks for a few moments, and then away, which means 'That one is cute, I wouldn't be embarrassed going with you if you wore that'

-or, the uh, last one… the 'Hn' just before he, uh, kisses me… which I'm pretty sure is something like 'You are really sexy' or otherwise Sasuke-kun is just strange like that

So Sasuke does have hormones, after all. Intriguing.

I'm right here.

Ah, but do you deny it, dear Sasuke?

Why should I? She's my girlfriend.

See, Ino-pig? SASUKE-KUN IS SWEET. Unlike everyone else I know. Hint, hint.

I got the hint, forehead. But seriously. Sasuke, sweet?

…again, I'm right here.

Just ignore her, Sasuke-kun. She is laaame. She cannot understand how totally not-lame you are, considering she is the QUEEN OF LAME.

Oh, wow, I'm hurt. I think I might cry.

Boo-hoo.

Whatever. Sakura, I'm picking you up at eight, right?

Uh-huh!

YOU ARE SO GOING DOWN, UCHIHA. YOU TOO, FOREHEAD.

Bite me.

…what she said.

"Sakurraaaa," Ino whines.

"You're just jealous 'cause I look so hot," I reply airily, getting into the car.

(So we came to a compromise. Naruto came to pick us up an hour before the party starts, so everyone is cramming into his four-wheel-drive.

I know. Entrusting Naruto with a four-wheel-drive is not smart. Don't blame me.)

"And yet you didn't take my advice," she continues, prodding at the sleeve of my shirt. "Sleeveless means 'clothing which is lacking sleeves' and this is clearly not falling under that definition."

"It's cold," I roll my eyes.

"She looks fine, stop annoying her," came Sasuke-kun's curt response. Actually, he said a lot more than 'fine' when I first showed him this outfit, but if he ever said any of those things when we weren't alone, I would start fearing for his health.

"And so do you," Sai adds generously, giving Ino a small smile.

Of course, Ino-pig doesn't really need that kind of reassurance.

"Sure I do. I am sexy," she responds loftily, reapplying her lip gloss for what I am pretty sure is the gazillionth time.

I roll my eyes. "Keep telling yourself that, pig."

"Oh, like you can talk, Sakura. Your forehead shines. It could be a landing port for helicopters."

"Yeah? Well, your nose is demented, like Michael Jackson's!"

"Your forehead is the size of China!"

"Your nose looks like a sharpener!"

"Your forehead is one of the Seven Wonders! You can see it from space!"

"Your nose looks like one of those dead animals somebody ran over on the freeway!"

We continue like this for quite awhile, until Naruto announces that we're a few minutes away from his house. I settle back into my seat, sending Ino-pig a glare. Of course, we rarely ever actually fight, and we suck at holding grudges. Best friends just understand each other, you know?

But… Ino-pig's not my only best friend, of course. (Although if I ever told this to her, she would probably disembowel me with a hair straightener. If it's even possible to do that.)

There she is, reapplying her lip gloss again—it must've rubbed off with all that verbal abuse she was hurling at me. Ino-pig and I have been friends too long for anything to get in the way of that. Even our constant insulting of each other.

Then there's Naruto, singing along to Britney Spears in a very horrible voice and only barely dodging other cars with his massive monstosaurus. Overbearing and obnoxious and loud, and the younger brother I never asked for, but still a good friend.

Then there's Sai, idly sketching something and smirking a little as Ino-pig whines about the fact that I have somehow made her mascara run. He's a little withdrawn, is our Sai, but I love him for it—in a completely platonic way, of course.

And then… there's Sasuke-kun, who looks absolutely murderous and like he's about to throttle Naruto. But when he catches me looking at him, he offers me a half-smile. A half-smile that makes my heart pretty much sing—uh, the hills are alive and all, right? A half-smile that is decidedly fantabulous.

One that says 'thankyou'.

(And I know right now that here, with these people, is where I wanna be most. Because these are the most important people in my life now, and I'll never forget them.

We are the five musketeers, after all. Okay, okay, so there weren't really five, but now, I couldn't imagine a group if one of them was missing. It would be, like, blasphemy.)

20/8: okay, okay, JUST ONE MORE

I said my last entry was my absolute last one, but really—

Do you, like, trust anything I say anymore?

I just want to add one more thing—

Sasuke-kun and I? We are destined.

(AND INO-PIG HAS A GIANT NOSE.

…okay, not really. But it is what she gets for reading over my shoulder.)

I promise this time is the real farewell,
Haruno Sakura

P.S—but the number one reason why my life doesn't suck?

Because it never did, not really. Not while Sasuke-kun was there.

The List of Things We, as a Couple, Have to Do—

Mostly written by Haruno Sakura,
…with Uchiha Sasuke having some input

1. HORSEBACK RIDING.

…seriously?

Yes, seriously, Sasuke-kun.

I have never ridden a horse before in my life.

Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

Whatever you say…

2. Having a romantic picnic with coffee. And strawberries. And tomatoes.

If that's the only thing we're going to be having, it's not very nutritious.

Oh. Em. Gee. Did you just make a joke? (Albeit not a very funny one, but still.)

…no. Of course not. You're delusional.

SASUKE-KUN MADE A JOKE!

The world must be ending.

3. Apply to the same colleges, of course!

Where do you want to apply?

Hmm. Well… it's more a question of what I can afford… which is, like, a community college, really.

You're too smart for a community college.

Awwww, really? I'm blushing.

It's a fact, not a compliment.

Well, okay, yeah, but…

4. Have a moonlit dinner with candles and a Jacuzzi after the Prom, duh! With a hotel room with lobsters and chocolate and—

Don't get too ahead of yourself.

But you'll pay for it, won't you, Sasuke-kun?

Hn…

That 'hn' means 'yes', so thanks!

Wait, what?

5. Shut up about all these interesting things we can do—

But I thought you liked talking about them, Sasuke-kun?

—and go do them?

Oh. Oh, okay, that works, too!

…whatever, Sakura.

I love you too, Sasuke-kun.

A/N: IT'S DONE. OVER. FINITO. OHMYGOSH. LYKE, OHMYGOSH.
I THINK I'M HYPERVENTILATING. IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE.
MY FIRST COMPLETED STORY EVER.

...okay, I'm over it. I couldn't resist finishing the epilogue and posting it ASAP. I just really wanted to turn the status to 'complete'. It is so fulfilling. Yes, yes it is.

Now--IMPORTANT NEWS ALL FANS MUST LISTEN TO:
1. My profile officially has the link to a requests post, which takes requests for one-shots for the sequel to this story. Yes, the sequel is a one-shot anthology, so there will be SasuSaku sappiness abounds and any other pairings you want, too. Clickie on the link in my profile to get to the requests page so you can post one! I WANT ALL FANS TO DO SO. YESSS.
2. There should also be a poll in my profile wherein it will list possible names for the one-shot anthology. PLZ VOTE 'CAUSE I FAIL AT DECISIVENESS.

AND NOW: IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE. I LOVE YOU ALL, MMKAY? YEAH. I SO DO.