Chapter 4 – Broken

You will control her only as well as you can read her. Now read.

“I'm already there. I'll wait.”

Lady Heather looked up at Grissom, her eyes dark with confusion. He may as well have been Steven McCormick, striking Chloe Samms across the face. But Grissom did not read her correctly. He did not read her at all. The words of betrayal felt like a dagger. But the worst feeling was that she didn’t expect this. Not from Grissom. The fact that she had trusted him made it all the more cutting.

“I think I just heard you say "stop."”

Grissom looked at her. Sabotaging everything seemed to be what he excelled at as of late. He never meant to hurt her; he was thinking of the case. As usual, his devotion to his job cost him something valuable.

“Lady Heather, I’m sorry…”

“All you had to do was ask me. I would have offered you whatever you wanted. Why have you always been so quick to accuse me?”

“The victim’s cause of death was insulin shock. You are in possession of insulin. I’m just following the evidence.”

“How quickly you are to hide behind the needs of your profession. Maybe someday you won’t need to use what you do as excuse. You have let what you do for a living dictate what you do with your life.” She rose from where she was sitting, making her way to the door.

Her accuracy this time did not surprise him. “Lady Heather…”

“I’ll be upstairs. When the officer arrives, he may come and collect my kit.” She gave Grissom one last look, a look that could have frozen his soul on the spot. She saw the look of remorse in his eyes, but she didn’t care. What was done was done. That was the beauty of her profession; she never got close enough to be hurt by an indiscretion. She blamed herself for getting much too close this time.

Grissom conceded that whatever they shared last night now lay shattered and broken in the space between them. He resolved to the fact that this is why he needed to keep his distance from Sara; he had the power to break anything he touched. He would keep Sara at arm’s length before he broke her. It wasn’t worth the pain he would inevitably cause.

---

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

The question caught him off-guard. What about Hank, the man who drove him into the arms of Lady Heather in the first place? Was this some kind of game to her?

And then there was the question, so innocently asked of him. Dinner meant time alone. Alone meant they’d have to talk. Talking meant he’d have to hear her. And Grissom had been having trouble hearing.

“No.” The word came out more patronizing than he had meant it. Thoughts of Hank and his hearing clouded his judgment. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe she would just walk away. He would hurt her with distance now before he’d hurt her more later on.

His blunt answer did nothing to deter her. “Why not? Let's ... let's have dinner. Let's see what happens.” Her optimism should have comforted him, but instead it just made him more uneasy.

“Sara ...” Grissom paused, shifting his jaw. His awkwardness was clear, and one of the only times Sara ever saw him clearly at a loss for what to do or say. The words were there, but he didn’t know what to say, how to say it, how to say what he wanted and needed and was thinking all at the same time. “I don't know what to do about this,” he said, making motions indicating the two of them.

Sara narrowed her eyes, and if she didn’t look so defeated, her eyes were almost seductive. “I do.”

Grissom tilted his head, almost curious at Sara’s straightforwardness. She looked at him for a moment before she continued speaking.

“You know, by the time you figure it out, you really could be too late.”

She didn’t wait for a reply as she turned around and walked away, leaving him completely speechless to watch her disappear from him. He waited, stunned, enveloped in the silence that now lingered there in her absence. Only moments before, she was there, so close that he could take in the scent of her. She offered him a chance, and he couldn’t take it.

But why now? What prompted the dinner invitation? Did seeing her life flash before her eyes as fire and glass surrounded her force her hand? She had put herself in harm’s way earlier that day, was she just feeling invincible after sidestepping disaster?

He lingered in the door way for a moment before shutting off the light. Heading to his car, he ran through the last hour or so. None of this made sense to him anymore. One minute she was vehemently denying a relationship with Hank, the next she was asking him to dinner.

And then there was the issue with Lady Heather. He had gotten entangled with a dominatrix only to burn that bridge as well. It just cemented the fact that maybe he was destined to be alone for this very reason. At work, the evidence was only just evidence. It didn’t confuse, or lie, or mislead, or evoke feelings. He was better suited to devote his time to evidence; all it required was to be processed. And that was one thing he couldn’t hurt.

Grissom arrived home to his empty townhouse with thoughts of scotch his only consolation. True, a warm body was so much more a consolation than alcohol. But the bottom of a glass could do nothing to destroy relationships; he did that well enough on his own.

Uh, it's my day off. I was up in Pahrump at some vineyard. You told me to get a life, remember?

Did I?

You're on your own.

On my own?

Solo.

See you around.

It's just, um ... you tell me to get a life and then I get one, and then you expect me to be there at a moment's notice. It's… um…confusing.

But I'm afraid I'll need a warrant.

I think I just heard you say "stop."

I owe you an apology.

Apologies are just words.

I don't know what to do about this.

I do.

You know, by the time you figure it out, you really could be too late.

And so there Grissom sat, a glass a scotch in his hand, his eyes blank as he stared at the wall. The number that he pulled from his rolodex lay forgotten nearby.

After a few minutes he picked it up, studying it with faint attention.

DR. KAREN ROTH, ENT

SUNDOWN MEDICAL GROUP

9548 DESERT WAY

LAS VEGAS, NV 89108
(702) 555-0127

He was headed on the path of losing Sara. He had already lost Lady Heather. And if he didn’t act quickly, he would lose his hearing as well. Without his hearing, he wouldn’t have his job. In such a short time he was at a risk of losing so many things. All he had to do now was get his hearing fixed. Then he could keep the job he held so dear, and possibly find a way back to Sara without the obstacle of his health in the way. If he played his cards right, he had so much more to gain.

“Hello, Dr. Roth? This is Gil Grissom. I’d like to schedule surgery for the otosclerosis…”

To Be Continued…