I’ll Try to Carry On

By supernaturaldh

Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural or the characters from the show. I do own all the other characters in this story.

Authors Note: This story is a continuation of my other works; Slightly Stupid and Catch Me When I Fall. If you have read them, then you already know I love angst, Limp Sam, Big Brother Dean, and bonding moments. Proceed at your own risk!!

Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself…How did I get through all of that? - Anonymous

Prologue:

The room emptied immediately, all remnants of Dean, Bobby, and Tom obliterated in a mere two minutes. Sam still stood, stunned at what had just occurred. A slow grin rose to his lips, rising to a giggle, and then a solid laugh. He finished stuffing his things in the duffle and zipped it closed. He grabbed up his jacket and made his way out the doorway. Three large smiles met his arrival at the Impala, Nova, and Dodge truck; a huge grin decorated Sam’s face.

“You guys…” He threw his duffle in the trunk, shaking his head in a chuckle, as he turned to look at Tom and Bobby.

“You take care of yourself, Sammy. Watch that stupid brother of yours.” Tom grinned as he reached out and pulled Sam into a hug.

“I will Tom. Thank you for coming, helping us.” Sam smiled as he pulled away from Tom’s grasp.

Dean stood at the driver door; Tom stepped promptly to him and pulled him into his large embrace. Oh God, kill me know. Dean stiffened, then let his inhibitions drop and gave Tom a quick hug in return.

“You take care.” Dean whispered in a low voice, barely audible. Tom nodded and stepped to his truck, sliding into the front cab and revving up the engine.

“See you at your house Bobby. Bet I can beat you there.” With that, Tom Baldwin grinned, pushed peddle to the metal and pulled his truck out of the parking lot, disappearing down the roadway and into the night.

“Bye Bobby.” Sam reached over and pulled Bobby into a slight hug, Bobby grabbing him with both arms and giving him a large squeeze.

“You boys, keep in touch. I mean it. The holidays are coming; I expect to see you at my house. Got it?” Sam nodded his head in a minor yes motion as his eyes glistened slightly. He blinked back the moisture as he stepped away from Bobby and eased himself into the passenger seat.

Bobby quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve and strolled around the car to Dean, who was opening the driver’s door. “Hey you, com’er.” Bobby grabbed Dean by the arms and pulled him quickly to his chest. “Son, You watch out for your brother.” He mumbled in Dean’s ear.

Dean gave in; he hugged Bobby back and then settled into the driver’s seat. Bobby smiled as he leaned into the driver window. “I mean to see you at the holidays. Tom will be there. I mean it Dean. You get your asses to my house. Got it?” He grinned.

Dean smiled back at Bobby sudden tightness grasping at his chest; he blinked his eyes to clear his vision; fingers gripping on the steering wheel. “We’ll be there Bobby, I promise.”

They sat in the Impala and watched as Bobby floored his old Nova and rolled out of the parking lot, tail lights fading into the darkness. Dean cocked his head to the side and smiled a croaked smile at his little brother.

“You ready.” He grinned as he put the car in gear and pushed the gas paddle.

Sam nodded his head, lips curling up in a grin at his brother. He let his eyes gaze from Dean to the front windshield and out into the distance. A warm comfortable feeling crept across his chest as he relaxed into the bench seat, scooting down to rest his head on the leather. He had his brother to protect him, take care of him, and catch him if he fell. He was happy with that, but it made him smile to think that he had friends that were there too. Friends he and Dean considered family, their family. He felt better just knowing that Bobby and Tom would protect Dean, take care of him, and catch him if needed. It was nice to know they were not alone. He let his eyes flutter shut, a small smile resting on his lips, as the humming sound of the engine lulled him to sleep.

Chapter 1

Never Let go of Hope

His hand drug slowly across the bricks as his fingers clutched at the rough surface. He blinked his bleary eyes and strained to peer around, slowly tugging himself to his feet. He leaned heavily against the wall, his own body weight causing his legs to buckle and sway. A pain spiked in his head, and he scrunched up his eyelids, as he felt the gooey substance rolling down his face, sticking against his eyelashes. He fought the bile that rose up in his throat and swallowed convulsively. He gagged, as the nasty liquid spewed from his lips and splashed to the asphalt. He gasped for air and shivered, suddenly feeling chilled to the bone. He pulled in a reluctant breath, his eyes straining to see through the darkness. What was going on? He momentarily fought to remember, to regain his thoughts. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, disorientation, and haze overcoming him. One word formed on his lips and he whispered it out in an unsteady tone, “Dean?” as his consciousness faded, he felt his body fall heavily, face first, against the cold hard ground.

Dean awoke suddenly, his body aching all over with any movement he made. He felt a heavy corpse against him and realized he was wedged on the ground, large body perched atop him. He moved slightly as a wooden stake poked against his own shoulder, sticking crookedly from its captors chest. He pulled up unsteady arms against the cadaver and pushed the large form away, it thudded heavily to the ground next to him. He stared up, pulling in a large gulp of fresh, crisp air and blinked slowly. He gazed for a moment at the rooftops on either side of his vision, the dawn’s early sunlight peaking over the buildings and streaming across his face. He heard the hiss next to him, and turned his head to see the body smoking, fizzing, and then disappearing in a bright light. He tugged his sluggish arm up to cover his face, to shut out the effervescent glow, as the body popped and sizzled, eventually he peaked around his elbow and saw nothing but ash where the large vampire had been. He heaved out a breathe of air and wondered how long he had been lying on the pavement. Thoughts ran through his head as he recalled the hunt for a group of vampires that were killing innocents outside of Big Rock, North Dakota.

He remembered hunting the creatures in the predawn hours, finding their lair and hiding in the shadows with Sam, waiting for them to return to their resting place. He shivered as he recalled how they had killed five, coming up short of stakes. A stupid oversight on his part, he always brought extra supplies, but this time he had left it to Sam. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He knew full well that Sam’s mind was somewhere else. He shuddered at their hasty retreat, how pissed off he was at his brother. Sam needed to get his head out of ‘The Deal’ and back in the game. He remembered yelling at Sam at the top of his lungs, harsh words blaming him totally for the turn of events as they ran from the vampire. He only stopped yelling when he felt the creature bearing down on them, then shrieking “Sam, run faster” as he comprehended they were in deep shit.

He ran steadily, his boots barely scuffing the ground, his breath a hard pant, his eyes fixed on the passenger door of the Impala and the last wooden stake. He screamed Sam’s name as his fingers ripped the passenger door open, and grabbed the stakes from the back seat. He swiftly turned on his heels, eyes rising to the creature that now had his brother by the collar of his worn jacket, dangling him a foot and a half off the ground. He yelled, “Let my brother go you son of a bitch” and then he cringed and watched as the creature flung Sam eight feet into the brick wall. The side of Sam's face hitting the wall, his body sliding down and falling limply to the ground. Sudden reality came screaming to his mind as he comprehended what he had just reviewed in his thoughts. He bolted upright, pain radiating to his very core, his eyes darting around for Sam.

He stood quickly on his shaky legs, disregarding any pain, his body working on straight adrenaline; he was at his brother’s side in a mere second, kneeling down beside him on the ground. He gently turned him over, brushing the rocks and dirt from his bloody face. “Sam, Sammy, come on kiddo, open your eyes.” His fingers brushed Sam’s long bangs back from his forehead, his eyes falling to the large two inch gash just beneath his hairline above his left eye that was oozing blood in a steady stream, large black and blue bruises appearing above his eyebrows and decorating his left cheek. He reached his shaky fingers into his jacket and pulled out a bandana, pushing it lightly against Sam’s forehead. Sam flinched at the movement, but made no attempt to wake. “Sam?” he tapped lightly on his brother’s cheek, his heart beating harshly with anticipation. Then Sam’s eyelashes fluttered, as a slight moan eased from his parted lips.

“Dean?” he whispered, his unfocused, glazy eyes looking at Dean. “I’m s...s…sorry I drop...dropped a s…st...stake.”

“Yep, it’s me in the flesh.” Dean’s lips curled up in a slight grin, as his fingers moved lightly down his brother’s body checking for any additional damage. His eyes catching the sudden emotion rolling from Sam’s features, the blame he was taking on for the entire fiasco. The blame I put on him. The guilt I yelled out without regard for his feelings. I am such an idiot.

Sam brought his wobbly hands up and brushed against his brothers arms attempting to knock his hands away. “I’m ‘Kay.” Sam’s shaky voice whispered as he struggled to release himself from Dean’s grasping hands.

“Yeah, sure you are bro, just hit a wall at twenty miles an hour with your big ole hard head.” Dean firmly grabbed and then planted both of Sam’s hands flatly back against his stomach. “Stop it Sam.” Dean continued his ministrations. “Forget it Sam, it was just as much my fault as your’s.” Sam’s lips quirked up, a crooked smile ghosting across his pale, bloody face, but he relaxed and let his brother finish. He flinched lightly when his brother’s fingers moved across his left shoulder blade. “I think you dented the wall there, Sammy.” Dean offered with a soft chuckle. “Let’s get you out of here and back to the motel.”